Community Christmas Home Tour

The community I live in does a Christmas Home Tour every year. This is the first year I have

attended. This being my 3rd Christmas here in Florida, I admit I was excited to finally attend.

The idea of people opening their homes to let others walk through them to see their decorations for Christmas seems stressful to me. It is a great deal of work. In addition to excessive decorations, it also requires quite a bit of cleaning and planning.

It was so impressive to see the personality of each home we went through reflected in their Christmas tree, and in many cases, multiple trees. The style of decorating was as unique as the host and hostesses were and each home owner was as personable as the next. There were stories to be told about so many of the items in their homes, how they came to be, where they came from, who made them, etc...

As I toured each home, I tried to catch a few pictures here and there.  I decided, after reviewing them,  to put together a video to share some of the sights with my followers on my blog. It truly was inspiring to see their homes.

May you be inspired to open your homes and your hearts in 2019 to those you know and perhaps to even a few strangers and let your light shine in their lives.  Happy New Year!  Click for Video

A Novel Reflection for Christmas

T’was the last time A Novel Bunch met before Christmas,

All here was full of holiday cheer

As they sat around the table sharing stories

They laughed, inspired and teared.

And were reminded of all they hold dear.

At the closing of the year with our Book Club we spent quite abit of time talking about Christmas memories and what has stood out in our minds. It is always so revealing and fun to learn what each person finds as their best gift or the one that left an indelible impression on our lives.

We also shared some of our favorite holiday books and movies. With abundance to choice from, many had to pass. As other women spoke up, much agreement was heard when familiar titles were stated.

With such a positive group, it was not surprising that so many of the selections were indeed comedy selections. It sort of epitomizes this club. Though the book selections are across all genres of literary works, the heart of the personality of the women is fun-loving and easy to laughter individuals.

I complied a video to share the selections of this group, one of my favorite clubs to be a part of for sure!  This year I feel I have grown with this group and look forward to continuing this journey with them in 2019.  May you find yourself laughing at some of the selections and memories. Interspersed within the video of the choices they made. Interspersed in the video are some gifts that stood out in members’ minds in Christmas’ long past. Note, none are the high ticketed items that so many have on their wish lists but the small ones given with love. May we all be less focused on the dollar value of the gift this Christmas and more focused on the value of giving. 

Merry Christmas

Our Club's Memories in Video Format

Vacation Bliss - Friends Make it Sweeter

If I packed a body in my suitcase, it would not have been any heavier than my suitcase

was from my recent one week cruise. Yes, you read that right, one week cruise pack job by moi! Everything was in there but the kitchen sink, the puppy, and the corner drug store. Oh and dental floss. But I vow never again will I pack that much again as long as I live no matter who is on the ship!

This trip was pretty special though seeing as how it was on my Bucket List. Always have I wanted to go on a cruise with a group, preferably friends. Oh I know every cruise ship has hundreds of passengers on it but I wanted folks I knew going onto the boat. Many find it hard to believe but I can be shy, every once in a while. It is said you make lifelong friends over vacation but I have never really stayed in touch with anyone I have met over a vacation, except my first husband. Oh and I did have two children with him so I guess he did play a pretty dominate place in my life.

So the ship chosen was NCL Bliss, the largest ship they have out on the high seas.  And wow, it is an eyeful, like walking a small neighborhood on the ocean from end to end. The

first few days, it was easy to lose your bearings, especially if you are directionally

challenged like me. So much to do on that boat, if you get bored, there is only one person to blame; check out the mirror!

Being on a boat with a group of folks I really don’t hang out with that much was interesting to see how the week would play out. One of the neighbors, as we all live in an active 55+ Community, is a travel agent who planned the trip,

made the arrangements and was our Julie from the Love Boat. So wonderful how meals, shows and even extra fun things on the ship were scheduled for everyone. She left nothing to chance, planning around ports and everyone’s needs and wants. Betcha her past clients were left crying when she moved south and left her business up north. Sorry ‘bout their luck, our gain!

What a group of fun people, and competitive too!  Four folks played Laser Tag with us along with 3 other young kids and may I proudly say “We kicked butt!”  Losing by one point when one on our team had a gun not working half of the game time is not bad at all. Next game we tied!  And having a cop on the team and two vets on our team, even with three kids, we were dynamite and put SWAT teams to shame! And yes, I and one other woman even had falls to prove we were seriously into the game to win!  Don’t let it be said women are wimps!

It didn’t matter whether it was race car driving, watching Jersey Boys, dancing while music groups were playing at the Atrium, this group threw caution to the wind so I fit

right in. When they threw their hands up and said join in, I did. Life’s motto, “Live it up like each day is your last” was the mantra for the cruise for bliss on Bliss and we all did it up right and proudly.

The warmth of friendship makes the sun of the Caribbean pale in comparison. Whether on an excursion or just killing time on the ship by the pool or various activities with friends from the group, knowing each day ended with time with new friends made each day special like all of them.  And if I packed a body in a suitcase, it would certainly be, on a future vacation, one of them!

Click Here for a Video of Some Highlights

Your Inner Kid

I never get tired of seeing kids playing in the mud. See mud piles are the one thing I make

best! It is the one recipe I can’t mess up! Personally I think they even look good. And it is so refreshing to see how a child can be so content making them over and over again. They can dump them over and over again without feeling stress. Adults freak out over a pie spilling and yell nasty words. Why aren’t we more like kids?

Remember the days when making an apple pie only involved picking the apples from the tree?  Wow, the work was done by somebody else. I think we should still do that. Find one of those women on Facebook who loves posting all the recipes and lives to bake. Pick apples to our hearts delight and leave a note that says “You don’t need to thank me, just bake me!”  And don’t forget to leave your address!

Ice cream and watermelon, even as an adult we are allowed to enjoy both but not with the same gusto. We would be laughed at for spitting seeds and having contests for seeing who can spit them the farthest. Such a shame when the cost of competitiveness is nothing I do not remember one fist fight, snarly word or any bullying over watermelon seed spitting. And somehow I think if I suggested it to my female friends they would think my slice had been soaking in alcohol. And when the ice cream truck comes by, I miss screaming. I am not afraid to admit I love it and why not shout about it?  Repression is a bad thing.

The fascination with bugs, clouds, outer space and wild animals seems to fade. Why? The wonders of nature should hold our fascination always.  God’s miracles are reminders we are not in control and something is much bigger than us that is good and beautiful. For some reason we get colored and start seeing the world more musty instead of in living color. This is something that should never be lost.

Does society force you to fit in to some norm of what an adult is when in God’s eyes we are all his children? If you lived only one day, would you be concerned if the actions you took were mature enough to fit adult norms or would you just let go of expected standards and have fun?    I hope that the answer is you would seek the freedom to let your inner child shine through.

The reality is there is a way to balance being an adult and still allow your childhood to be an active part of your life. Joy is ingrained in freedom to be you and not be so caught up in fitting in and losing the ability to express yourself and discovery. You can set the stage for others to follow. If they don’t, let them wonder why you are different and live in their straight jacket of conformity of adulthood. You were, perhaps, born to make mud pies, like me!   

I Am Not my Weight

Weight follows me around the older I get. It doesn’t matter what I eat, it climbs up my legs and settles in my mid-section. I can’t shake it off no matter what I do. Ah, for the days when I was young and too skinny!  Do I want to go back?

Well, I remember getting teased as a kid for being thin as a toothpick. Hell, I could hide behind a tree trunk, a skinny one. I could be lifted overhead, parallel to the ground. I was anorexia-looking before it was cool and I wasn’t even in to fashion or ballet dancing. I was just plain active and living life to the fullest, an outside kid.

I hit my teens and realized Mother Nature is mean to girls. Hormones kick in and I am still trying to figure out what is so grand about it.  I mean really, hormonal is craving chocolate, feeling emotional and a swollen abdomen. Just what exactly about that is fun? 

We use to have to read books in school about “the upcoming change” menstruation entitled The Art of being a Women. I am still shaking my head over the word art that is not my image of art. And then there was the saying Beautiful Me! Who feels gorgeous on the rag?  Nobody I know. It is a royal pain and that has nothing to do with feeling like royalty.

Changing means weight starts coming on to your body easier and as you age, easily. Bah humbug. In a society that prides on tone thin bodies, some of us do not have the innate ability to be trim and thin for all of our lives. So we have to settle for being beautiful inside. If you could see the inside of me, God I am gorgeous!  And so are you!  Don’t be fooled by the fat rolls you see outside. Mother Nature might be tricking you, testing you to see if you can see below the skin. 

And so it goes, another year, another 5-10 pounds of discouragement or possibly adventure. I say enjoy it, live life, eat to live and don’t live to eat. Then you won’t be obsessively overweight, will be happy but not obsessed with trying to be a body you just weren’t made to be!

The Wicked World of Domestic Abuse

Today I made my Facebook profile black in honor of all the victims of domestic abuse in America. Where are they? Who are they? So many are faceless and voiceless out of fear, out of shame and worried they will be disbelieved. Thousands of women question women’s stories asking what their background is, their clothing, their mental state as if that is a reason to justify abusing a woman. Too many people who aren’t victims fail to understand the plight of a victim and become judge and jury.

Parents who abuse children is a crime that goes unpunished also. It is a silent killer of the spirit of a child that carries over into adulthood. It becomes an ever-ending tape of self-doubt and worry that a victim of abuse must counter with constant positive inner dialogue to override years of negativity from a abusive home.  The child in America lives in a climate where freedom is just a word, not a reality.

Too many times adults say to other victims, get over the chains of abuse. For some reason, just like with a soldier who has witnessed senseless killing before his eyes, the standard set is unfair. Seeing such cruelty is a personal journey in hell much like domestic abuse. The after affects of abuse  are scars from within that never completely heal. That is why the awareness of abuse is critical to the success and healthiness of society. One of the number one contributors to mental illness is abuse. 80% of all prison inmates have been abused and have mental health issues. And America has one of the largest inmate populations. Extreme abuse can lead to mental illness. 

This is the ugly topic no one wants to really delve into, domestic abuse. It is the one where those without the experience want to look to causes of a victim. They prefer to keep their paradigm easy to understand,  not realizing some things are just not black and right,  right and wrong. Parents don't always love right and men are not always supporting their women. And abuse is never okay, never justifiable. Waiting till it happens to your loved one is egotistical, animalistic. We should all care enough about the human condition of each other, regardless of our own experiences.

Where are the victims of domestic violence?  All around you; 31% of all women have been physically abused by an intimate partner in their lives. Is abuse a sexist issue?  You decide, 85% of all domestic abuse cases in America are against women.  How many women don’t speak up?  Some reports say as high as 70% of the cases don’t get reported.  Many victims fear an escalation of violence by the perpetrator, shame by others and a lack of belief.  How many times in the news does someone speak out about assault and finds themselves having their lives torn apart? So many look at them as if they were to blame for being attacked.  

Trying to help other women comes with a price for a female victim of abuse.  And it is astonishing how many friends she can find who are also naive about the issue. Listen to the chatter on the topic around you, bring the topic up and sit back and think about what is said. Consider if the person they are speaking about was your mother, your daughter and what's more YOU. Hence, more women stay quiet leaving most of us unprotected from rapists, abusers, stalkers and such because of other women and men degrading those that do speak, the brave 30%!

If you are being abused or know someone who is, get help now. Don’t wait till it is too late. Don’t let someone own your soul and ruin your life, or take it!  Use the help lines available 24/7/365 on the attached link. Hotline Link Link

Nobody deserves to be abused! I know, I am one of those stats. But I am not just another number. Each one represents a human life, unlimited potential.  I was afraid to speak out. I am ashamed, some days that I didn't. I was worth it, and baby, so are you! 

A Special Klansman

America has fought many battles with many countries but still is fighting within. For a

John David Washington

country founded on life, liberty and the pursuit of justice and equality, why is the difference in skin color such a pervasive issue throughout its history? Never is it more clear than watching the new movie BlackKkKlansman.

As soon as the movie came out, I knew I had to see it. Having many friends that are black and minorities, this issue has always touched a nerve in me. People are all God’s children so I have never understood the need to judge each other based on one God given gene. Genetics is pre-determined, not man’s choice. So many that are racist are more comfortable being around a white criminal than a black professional. It is baffling.

Going to the movie on the very first weekend this new movie was out was exciting to me. The lead actor in the movie is none other than star Denzel Washington’s son, John David Washington. Thinking that would be a draw alone, the inside theater we were seated in was one of the smallest ones they had in the cinema.  Next, to my astonishment, the only other person that attended the Saturday evening showing, one of the most popular times to go to the movies, was one other person, one individual alone seated in the back of the theater as if he wanted no one else to see him.

Watching this film was taking us back to a period in time when prejudices were front and center. There was no need to hide it because it was considered acceptable and anything went. There was a total lack of respect of black individuals in society and this story was true. The degradation this police officer had to endure is down right inexcusable.  All was laughed at and allowable because he was at the level viewed as an animal. Somehow he managed to hold his head high and deal with it.

How is this permissible, I said to myself watching the movie. As a white woman, once again, I found it troubling to watch. I was embarrassed and nauseous that any human being let alone an entire race is blatantly treated like this in America. Seeing children ridiculed for being something other than white is cruel and so unlike what the country was founded on. Hate does not further the principles of democracy, justice or unity as we are, if nothing else, the "United" States. How can that label be retained if we continue tearing apart the foundation of each other?

Watching the film brings together the fact that it has again become totally acceptable to degrade blacks. David Duke is acceptable and praised again. His followers can be embraced and freely march hating all blacks and wishing them death as the inferior race. Wearing hoods is not even needed in America anymore as our President has deemed White Supremacists as good people. Yet, as a black American how it must feel to be targeted as a N@gg#*, spit at, shot at when unarmed, given longer sentences for the same crimes white folks do, have crosses burned in their yards, and on and on must be horrific.  And then to hear some white Americans say racism does not exist in America. Walk a few days in their shoes! White supremacy does not advance America. Racism pulls America back to a dark period and when one of us is weakened, all of us are. 

I felt this movie was a punch in the gut for everyone, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, Jewish.  Anyone who is different or hates discrimination will feel unnerved from the movie and renewed passion for standing up for those who are being blacklisted, literally and figuratively. Those that don’t understand the price others pay for racial profiling and the harm that is done by its aftereffects keep your head in the sand or watch this movie. Ignorance is not bliss. Your lack of understanding of the far greater ramifications of building hatred of blacks and the lasting effect it will have on black children is on you! All God's children are prized. And a black Klansman is far less dangerous than a white one.

Live that Dream

Hearing from a dear friend was a great reminder of the challenges so many face of trying to hit what seems to be impossible goals. Living day to day, it sometimes seems easy just to be status quo and forget about reaching beyond. When you have a friend with dreams, be supportive of their desire to pursue their goals.

So many feel defeated by past experiences and as if there is nowhere to go but spiral downward or simply exist. Reality is, so many can continue on their journey, no matter what their age is or obstacles, if they have the drive. Be a person that gives them the added support and push.

I remember years ago, as a non-traditional student in college feeling, at first, out of sorts. I was so aware of being older than the traditional aged student, 18-22 year olds. I was an aging 28 year old mother of two.  Within the first two weeks, I saw several quite older folks walking on campus, I simply assumed they were professors as quite a few I had were old. Note, age of old is all relative to my own age now, at any point in my life! 

About the third week in college, while waiting outside a classroom for a class to start, I found myself in the hallway and one of those older persons approached me. Wow, I thought, a professor is going to talk to me outside of class. Maybe I can get some brownie points when I take his class when he finds out how personable I am!  I found out he was giving me tips on my current class. He had taken the same class I was waiting to begin the previous semester! He was a student! When he walked away, several colleagues next to me told me he was a  cool dude!  Learning and seeing firsthand a man who had retired tackling a college education stuck with me for years.

Working at a figure salon later on, I saw women who had battled weight loss their entire life. Being labeled fat and called out the various names these women deal with daily has to be disheartening. So much of society judges us by how we look. Some people never get past that.  I have held hands and hugged women as they cried over their weight which, to them, seemed impossible to overcome. With some, it is impossible for various reasons. Meeting women who set realistic goals and set about changing their own paradigm in life about eating and coping to combat weight issues was so admirable. If you run into someone dealing with this issue, recognize the demons go far beyond simply the numbers on the scale. The stigma from society and the coping mechanisms have been in place, usually for a very long time. That is much harder to break than counting calories. Positivity and patience with their short-comings goes a long way. They will break, be there for them when they do, not just when things go well.

I once had mandatory reading as a Director of a book called The Dream Manager by Matthew Kelley. It focuses on not only reinforcing the dreams of employees but mapping out plans on how to make them happen. If an employer can do that, we should all be able to lend a hand simply in ways that we can, be it by listening, advising or giving resources to those trying to make things happen to better themselves or achieve the impossible.

I believe for some of us, dreams have happened. For some of us, some dreams may never come true. But for millions, their dreams have not happened and can still be realized. To doubt the ability of someone’s wishes materializing is it to doubt the magic of the human spirit to preserve among amazing odds. So the next time you hear, I really want something from someone, tell them to fight hard and they can and will make it happen!

Dream songs Dream Weaver    I Like Dreaming    Dreaming of You

One Fine Day......

The day had started out so nice

Not a cloud in the sky

The friends started out that morning

With no sign anything was awry

They were headed someplace exciting

Going to a huge state fair

It was a day of girls’ adventure

A chance to get away and be just anywhere!

As they hopped in the car,

Laughing and throwing off their flip-flops,

They revved up the music and made a pact

Let’s get there fast, no pit stops!

Off they went onto the expressway,

Smiles lit those three women’s faces,

Not a care in the world,

The driver acted like she was in the races!

About half way there,

Traffic jam,

Faces froze,

Oh damn.

Vehicles began merging left,

As they grew agitated in the car,

The perfect day seemed marred.

The driver decided to stay in the right lane,

This way they could see what was wrong,

It seemed like a good strategy,

Many are fickle but these women are strong,

They were hanging in there

Till the last minute when they had to change lanes

As they edged forward confidently

Dancing in the car with each refrain.

Then they saw it

Mouths gaped open wide

Not a word was uttered                              

Water reached up to the sides

It must have flooded in this place

And the run–off water was right there

Now they saw they were surrounded by it

Not a word was uttered as they simply stared.

As the bubbles quickly rose

The car was swirled in foam

Two of them lay back peacefully to sleep

Knowing God would take them home.

The passenger in the front seat though

Was frantic to stay alive

She wanted to save herself and her friends

And knew help would not arrive.

As she surveyed quickly the scene

Playing it through her mind like an outsider

Moving towards oxygen at the same time

Giving up was impossible as a fighter.

She knew she would have to

Open the window or never survive

So she unbuckled her friends

And got one last drag of being alive

She grabbed the window and began turning the knob

Holding her breath with all her might

Accepting now whatever the outcome.

Social Interaction Still Matters

OMG, I have been on vacation! My cell phone was down because of a lost charge! My Facebook has so many notifications, so much activity and I have tons of emails. I flipped to Twitter and the activity there is unreal. How am I going to catch up and which one should I tackle first? Hell, I will never have time to unpack or pick up the mail!  I need to go back on vacation on that cruise ship to get away from social media!!!! Help me, I am drowning on land! 


Emails coming in reminding you of birthdays for people you knew ten years ago. Then you struggle trying to remember who they are realizing why bother?  If you sent them a note,

they probably don’t remember you either and your wish doesn’t mean anything anyways!

Direct messages on Facebook and Twitter come from  total strangers of the opposite sex saying Hello. What the heck is that supposed to mean?  Let’s start a conversation from someone who is probably pretending to be a person behind a profile picture. Oh, are you so desperate for friends you will reach out to anyone and everyone.  If so, go stand in the middle of the street in NYC! That is probably safer.

Tweets that ask you to follow me and I will follow you. Why?  If you are saying anything of substance, I already would be! Now that you are saying that, you are showing the world you have nothing worthwhile to say except you are desperate for people to hear you say anything, even something as stupid as listen to what I say even when I am saying nothing of value!

What is the deal with Facebook forwards that say stuff like forward this to 20 people to bring good luck? Hell, you want to send me good luck, give me a lotto ticket! I have a much better chance of getting some good luck that way then you sending me twinkling stars or a picture of a doting angel and then harassing 20 friends with a chain message. Actually that is a sure fire way to piss off 19 friends!

Let’s forget talking live and communicate everything on texts on our phone. Then let’s hope the inflection of what we are trying to say comes across even though half or more of what we communicate comes across in our tone and it is completely lost in the written word. Nobody writes in text like a literary author so gone are the ‘missing you horribly’ or ‘sincerely hope you are having a great day’. Texts are written like computer programmers:  How RU?  Feel OK?  Nice talking 2U (insert 😃 face) Body language doesn’t show but it is substituted by one of the fifty emoji’s.🙏🌈⭐🚩🎸  End of conversation. Wow, that was rewarding, NOT

What is with the incredible long streams among many members on Facebook Group Direct Messaging that you have to run up and back down to figure out who the hell said what? Half the time I am responding to my own damn words!  Wow, does that look foolish but the stream gets so confusing. One time a close friend said, hey, I am starting a new group. It was the same group! She just said, unbelievable to me, I can’t follow this anymore or I will need to go into counseling. It is like hearing white noise to follow the stream any longer!

How many selfies can some folks take? Isn’t it easier to just look in a mirror? They are in your home, there is a rear view mirror in your car and carry one in your purse if you can’t stop staring at yourself. I don’t need to keep seeing you in my social media stream. I have news for you, day to day, you don’t change! You aren’t a baby that is going thru massive changes day to day in the development process. You don’t get bigger except perhaps in the waist line and if you keep posting them, perhaps in the head as in ego.  If you do get bigger in the waistline, or perhaps in the butt, do you really want the rest of us to see it?

Oh and selfies count as your feet. Please, post the pictures of the beach!  And men tell me, as far as your thongs (flip flops) if you are going to post those, post a real thong, They are a whole lot more exciting than your bare feet. Women, it is a misnomer that most men have a foot fetish! You may care about how your feet look  but nobody cares to look at your feet on social media posts. Let us feel like we are watching the Travel Channel and living vicariously through you, and that doesn’t happen by looking at your toes.

What is with all the unwanted emails coming in my inboxes these days?!  You unsubscribe from one site and in its place 5 others suddenly appear within days in the same category. Your name is being sold constantly on mailing lists and you have virtually no control over it. And the emails never make it to your SPAM folder anymore. If you are new to social media, you think you are the hottest commodity in social media overnight!

Be wary of filling out any questionnaire for politicians, even your favorite one! The minute you do, you become the top request for donations for that candidate and every email they send out on any and all policy issues they stand for! Heck, even if you post something negative on a politician’s site, which I have on several, I am now getting their emails even after unsubscribing. For some reason, they think, enough messages, they can change my mind. I may pay them to stop!

Balance out your posts. I love looking at a timeline on anyone’s page where I learn about the person and see inspirational posts. Why do some folks do nothing but posts links. I am not going to constantly read links. If I wanted to read the news constantly or other articles, I would go to google, or news site pages. Twitter is notorious for this. Someone’s page will be nothing but posted link, after link, after link. In the bio someone will say they are an expert. An expert at what, posting links to other experts in the field they say they are a Master at?  Yeah right.

I do believe in social media and I think it serves an invaluable service. The drawbacks are numerous and in many ways it has added a new dimension of stress to our lives. It has also eliminated needed dialogue to interpersonal relationships. That missing element is hurting families and friendships, no doubt about it. Be the change, as families lose that connect, children will suffer. Be sure you aren’t part of the problem but part of the solution. Remember use hashtag #SocialInteractionStillMatters!

God Can We Make a Few Personal Changes on the Next Go Around

I kind of doubt people, like cats, get nine lives but I am not so sure we don’t get another go around. I have friends that believe that they have been here before. Some swear that they

are experiencing Deja vu, particularly when they hear someone overseas yelling something in a language they haven’t learned yet but distinctly know what is being said to them!  There are other instances that stand out even more clearly making them believe in reincarnation. Let’s assume we do, I want to be prepared to tell God where I think He went wrong with me so that the same mistakes aren’t made. Constructive criticism is always a good thing, right?

Let’s be clear about one thing, in general I am not shy. Having studied communications, public speaking has been a big part of my career path. However, God failed to give me the gene of innate singing ability. I have an amazing ear for music, and detect perfect tone, and an appreciation for all genres of music. But the one thing I am lacking is the one passion I so want, the ability to open my mouth and sound like a songbird. Dear God, I know I have the “It” factor and would definitely have that showmanship and touch millions of people’s hearts if only I had the voice I was destined to have. When you created me with the need to turn off the mic when I start to sing, you missed the mark.

Have you noticed all the beautiful feet on the women you made?  I know vanity isn’t something you placed a high prize on after Eve’s antics but with the advent of the sandal for high fashion for women, it wasn’t long before pedicures followed. Shortly thereafter began men’s foot fetish. How come I was left out here and given boat feet?  A size 11 foot for a woman would require a two appointment booking for a pedicure, twice the cost and no matter how good a job was done, it is too much to take in for any man in ‘’just one look’’.  When a man’s mind is on a boat, it is not thinking of a sexy looking woman.  My feet have been bigger than all of my husbands for Father’s sake. (See, I know not to use your name in vain!)

I raised my children as a single mother. I suppose that means I did a lousy job in picking some husbands.  Lessons learned can be invaluable though I can't blame you for poor choices in that category fairly. You created tons of options!  My father wasn’t good at mate-picking either on the first-go-round either. He got divorced too.  He raised my sister and me for a while as a single father.  In a few years, he remarried. Shame though that his new wife hated my sister and I. Could you have made us not a constant reminder of our biological mother? Or maybe, God could you have made her love us both a bit more? Next time, give it a more thought. Being a kid feeling hated many times was not exactly a whole heck of a lot of fun.  It was so apparent we were the step-kids like the ugly misfits growing up. There were some good moments in there but overall feeling as an outsider in your own home was kind of like living in the SPCA waiting to get adopted by a loving family that wasn’t going to hold your genes against you. I wasn't crazy about the clothes from Sears mail catalog, I look back and think I looked geeky. Or maybe I was a nerd? 

This experience though, gave me some insight so that part was good. I developed into a compassionate woman but I have to be honest with you, lighten up on the sensitivity measure please.  It sometimes makes me feel you subjected me to feeling perhaps a little screwed up for life, more so than the rest of the folks I hang out with. But maybe that is why I am so funny. Don’t you think I am funny God? Bet you laugh your ass off when I get to heaven God! Oh and extra thank you for not putting “It is sinful to use the words ass or shit in the Ten Commandments.” 

My children never knew and still don’t know their grandmother, my real mom that is. We didn’t rekindle any kind of relationship till I turned 50 and about then my daughter disengaged from me. Maybe the right word is dumped me. She essentially decided all of my support for her all of her life was done so she no longer needed me anymore so why keep me involved. I think she wanted a friend and not a mom but thank you for not making me that. I am not so sure she’d have gotten to where she is if I’d have been a BFF.  I know she wouldn’t have if I did what my mother did to me, high tailed it out of town with a guy I met in a bar and flip flopped from one to another, living on love, or is that lust?   Her letter to you would suggest you find her a new Mom and maybe I can relate because at times, I wish my mom had been made different too, like one who stayed around like I did!

The irony God, you know, is all those years I was there for my kids making so many sacrifices unlike my biological mother. Close to the same time my daughter dumped me, I really began to notice things changing with my son.  He got so busy in his own life that he didn’t have much time to really be a son anymore. You made me into a burden to him, something that is often forgotten, something that gets replaced with friends, vacations, parties, etc.… Can you make me more fun and worthwhile to my son next go round so I can have enough attention that my ego isn’t bruised?  At 58 I’d prefer to get the attention my friends get from their kids. Thanks though for the forewarning, make friends with my friends’ kids and ask to be adopted or the nursing home is going to be a lonely place with no visitors. As I tell my mother, you left your kids and I stayed with mine and you get to get real old and die with a relationship with yours. I don't get that with my daughter loving me unconditionally and a son that won't come see me like I come to see her. So maybe leaving me wasn't the worst thing she could have done afterall and she should really stop apologizing now.  I am where she was all those years ago.  God, you really screwed that up, sorry to say , from my perspective and my mom's.  Rework the plan next time or make me a total bitch so shit doesn’t hurt!

Cancer was a shocker in my life. I think I'd have liked to keep my breast. But I do believe that it has helped me stay motivated to work for this crummy disease that takes so many beautiful people, and not so kind people. But a life is a life, they are all worth trying to save. And  you know how much work I have done trying to save them. Can you help me make even more of an impact next go round?  I have a few friends that died too young. I would switch places with them so they could have hung around longer with their kids. They had kids that so loved them and just bawled like their entire world ended when their mom died. I think I would have rather switched places with them and not see their kids die abit inside. I know, your plan is the plan. And their death and their kids keeps me fighting and I have made an impact, but geez, is there another way to teach lessons than having women have to cut off body parts?  Pardon the pun but it feels like a booby trap that just ain't funny God. 

And in the pet’s category, what were you thinking?  Yes, God finds homes for all his beloved animals that need one. But why couldn’t I have a good one, a calm one, not ones that should be on Prozac. My last two dogs are ones that act like they came from the shelter and were abused instead of coming from a breeder as puppies to a loving home, mine!  What could be more loving and stable than me?  Nada more perfect place! Now I have a puppy that eats body parts off of stuffed animals like the last dog.  Isn’t that much like animals in the wild?  Can I have a pussy of a dog next time please?

I want to be rich. I don’t give a damn about being famous. I want to travel around the world, see different cultures and see all the cool stuff you created. I am not satisfied just meeting the kooks you created here in the United States. I want to meet the weird ones elsewhere!  I want to give to the tons of worthwhile organizations out there that no one bothers with that do so many good deeds and go so unnoticed and unfunded. I want to do the work that, if Jesus had been funded, he would have done. Yep, I want money so you can whisper in my ear when I prayer, put the dough here, let the bread multiply here so at the end of the day, I can still feel rich but for the right reasons. I can then hop on a plane and know someone else is super excited and thrilled too. That is the stuff that lights my fire!

Can I be surrounded by sincerity and leaders that care about humanity and the compassion of all of your people or is that asking way too much?  Maybe I pushed the limits on that one since you give freewill. If so, I will back off. I just hate seeing the folks that have the power use it only to enrich themselves and their buddies that are rich and powerful and let others suffer. I know this disappoints you too, people following false leaders with not very good intentions. Also, it sure would be an added plus if friends and people treated each other kindly and with respect for who they are. Why is accepting differences and diversity you created so hard for some people? Do they not see their differences?

God, all in all, you have done a damn good job with my life. Your plan, as its unfolded sure has had a lot of ups and downs, and lots of pylons, my word for hurdles. I know I have banged into a few. Sometimes my driving needs some help, I am directionally challenged!  But when I look back at the journey, every path you took me on led me to a destination that made me smarter than when I took off.

When I look at myself, I am far richer for having gone on this path, the least traveled path and by far, physically and in my own quirky way, less perfect. So maybe I need to reconsider, should I ask for a redo at all?  Aye, maybe I will leave that call up to you after all.  Your master plan is what it is. I rest easier knowing you are in charge instead of me. If I was, hell, who knows where I would land up, probably in heaven a lot quicker actually!  And you might not be ready for me yet!

Pink Matters Because Breast Cancer Still Kills

“No more pinkness” was heard from someone working with me on a breast cancer event.  Even with 1 out of 8 women getting a diagnosis, some people still see breast cancer as getting too

St.Senator Simpson, CEO/Pres. Amanda Maggard FL Hospital, FHZ Foundation Chair Linda Hauz

much attention. Even with 13% of these women dying and some men also.  Within 2 weeks of this comment, a woman recovering from surgery in our community fell. She is now in a rehab facility, unable to travel while learning that her dearly loved daughter, living out of state, was diagnosed with breast cancer. I received the news, at the same time, that a friend with Stage 4 has tumor markers that have suddenly gone back up. My girlfriend has had a re-occurrence of breast cancer and is in the 87% survival rate, for now.

I reflect back to when breast cancer didn’t matter to me. I have a twofold case of guilt forever. First, I use to think this issue wasn’t worthy of my time or money.  Now I realize and reflect on how I survived and some dear friends have long gone from the disease. So I work, for the cause, in many ways. And find, now, hearing disenfranchised comments only makes my passion stronger. I fight for them, the not interested parties, for they were me, long ago, before I was diagnosed and fighting for my life.

This year, I am coordinating a breast cancer walk at the Active 55+ Community where I live, Southport Springs Golf & Country Club in Zephyrhills, Florida. All of the money raised will be going to such an exciting piece of equipment locally.  Florida Hospital in Zephyrhills is purchasing the GE Senographe Pristina 3D Mammography System and will be one of only 3 hospitals in the state of Florida to have this finely tuned newest mammography technology.

This equipment has 3D capabilities and the system has the patient’s comfort issues at the forefront. Truly this is revolutionary. Perhaps that is why the name of Florida Hospital’s funding drive is Vision for the Future. This campaign’s goal is $500,000 but the cost of this equipment far exceeds this amount thus, the hospital will pay the balance. They are willing to because early detection saves lives and they feel this is a priceless endeavor for the community.

As a survivor, I have to applaud Simpson Breast Health Center at FL Hospital for being proactive in finding ways to not only improve the quality of the experience of getting a mammogram (soft LED lights, heated surfaces) but make results more reliable. Linda Hauff, Chairman of the Board, Florida Hospital Zephyrhills Foundation has been a fountain of information about this evolving development. This equipment would have prevented many late diagnoses not caught by traditional mammograms, such as mine. 

I was unsure who to work with at Southport Springs. There is a great deal of planning involved to pull off something this large with a lot of pieces to coordinate and my style is different than others around here. They had something for cancer several years ago by a member well known who fits right in. I march to my own drum,  too old to change honestly, though I am sure criticism will come my way, possibly even by the previous staff. Conformity is not in my nature.😂 I have to take from some of my experiences of what worked and try to tweak it to this environment and my new forming friendships. We all have different strengths and gifts. I believe some in this community will value mine and like, any place, some won't. 

The best place to start was investigating to find out who were some folks that were known for great follow-through and working hard. It was a gamble because I really didn't know them well as far as working on a project together.  Life is a gamble, hell cancer certainly is! Oh and the first one I asked was a woman that suggested the main event, the walk, someone I barely knew!  I included a few friends but actually not all I have made here.  I wanted diversity. 

Subcommittees were further formed.  All in all, 35-45 people are entrenched in the effort in some capacity.  I hope they register as team members and raise sponsorship monies.  Otherwise, not much money will be raised but again, that, this year, is not the primary goal! This community needs everyone that can walk to walk or cheer.  Our Head Committee is outstanding! It's became close and is excited to not only increase awareness but raise donations to help offset the costs for a life-saving purchase locally. To get folks excited about activities around cancer before the events happen makes it a win for me already. 

Working at the American Cancer Society, I knew the sentiment was always going to be positive, encouraging and the majority of the public was going to embrace the event. We all were hellbent on the wish to eradicate cancer and in the process,  promoting catching it early, developing better treatments and better drugs.  Here, I sit on the edge of my seat, there are so many other worthy causes competing for attention. And when you hear feedback like "too much pinkness already" and "I am sick of hearing about breast cancer, " or "why isn't she doing it like the lady did it in the past" and even criticism of my style. I remind myself of Julie Naberhaus! 👼 Julie was originally diagnosed the same time as me. When it came back a year later, she fought breast cancer hard,  in tremendous pain and I realize, no matter what adversity I face,  my battle is nothing compared to hers. She pushes me forward, as always. 

My work in the field of cancer is God driven and survivor driven.  I am hoping to show you can bring laughter in the name of yes, cancer to my new neighbors. Celebrating  survivorship and medical advances is good stuff.  Raising awareness and reflecting on the high value of life and living in the moment is what life is about!  I hope our committees can make our aging population here completely comfortable saying "I've had my mammogram and got it done at Florida Hospital Zephyrhills." This piece of equipment will significantly reduce false negatives, especially on the 20-25% that have been receiving them.  How wonderful to know that all the money raised is going specifically to funding equipment in the state of Florida that will guarantee saving lives? 

This blog today matters to me as  much as all of you,  regular followers. So many of you have stayed with me from the days post-treatment.   Some of you have written me, some as far away as outside of the US.  If you get cancer, know you are in my prayers, daily. Which is why I fight, care and give. I hate the disease with as much passion as I fight it.  It doesn't matter what the event is, I try to give it my all. 

Please pray that the residents here are open enough to a newcomer with her ideas and quirks to  support the cause. So many committee members are working tirelessly to make this happen, to bring this to fruition.  These excellent leaders deserve this.  Florida Medical Hospital Board talked to me at their Kick Off and is forming teams to attend the Walk. May this community realize this is for them and for the greater good.  I have been a part of successes at huge events, with 15,000 walkers, over million dollars. Now I live here, in  Zephyrhills at  Southport Springs and want another great accomplishment for them, a wonderful turn-out, response and support for the local hospital.  At the end of the day, this is God's work though and in God's hands. . 

If you would like to donate to breast cancer in October, or prior, to help increase the total donation from our Walk, The Ta Ta Trot & the other activities we have planned,  the information is below. Please do donate to something in Oct. if not Southport Springs.  All our proceeds will be going to Florida Hospital Zephyrhills Foundation for this equipment so that many others in the surrounding areas can utilize this mammography technology.  See below for how to make out checks. We welcome gifts of all sizes and everyone in our community thanks you for your support! 😉

What I wish for is a world free of the need to say pinkness. 

Mail donations to:

Ta Ta Trot 

c/o Jim Bronold

4009 Russian Olive Lane

Zephyrhills, FL  33541 

See check below please:

      I made this video a few years ago during my tenure with the American Cancer Society after attending various St. Thomas Camp Bluebird Camps for Survivors of Cancer, ACS events & Susan G Komen Walks. Most images are either breast cancer survivors, deceased of the disease or those currently in treatment.  Some pictures have other forms of cancer. NOTE: A few images, people have since deceased.  😢 Cick Here

Puppy Furr-stration

I said I would never get a dog again. And then I did. I had a lab and said I would never get a lab again. Mine could never be replaced. So I got a lab mix, a labradoodle. Charley, I said was the worst dog ever. Then came Tessie. I was wrong about Charley. And so the story goes.

I see many blogs in my future about Tess, the mess. She is a girl or I would rename her the Tramp from Lady and the Tramp because not only is her color close to his but her hair looks similar, messy  and, if she had a voice, that smart ass personality would be present also.   Heck, I swear she even rolls her eyes at me when she gets exasperated  like when my kids were teens and I was giving the safe sex talk and told them the best way to avoid it is just don’t do it! Maybe Tessie senses I think she is a hussy and we are having a female power struggle in our house.

And speaking of power struggle, I thought the humans were supposed to be in control? I just told her today, I miss Charley. That is my lovely lab that was so devoted to me. You know her response, yea I bet you do. The dog that seldom barks barked at me as if to say, “Tough beans, you are stuck with me, suck it up!”  Instead of being my girl, it is like that song Jessie’s girl and I am Tessie’s girl! She thinks she is the master over me.  Is it too late, at 7 months, to take her back? I looked at her today and found two can play that game then and I barked back at her and she ran for cover!

Speaking of cover, my escape route is the shower, peace!  We have one of those wonderful large walk in showers with a super cool shower head with it that puts out a mist like you are standing in the rain.  Apparently the only time Tess likes the rain is inside, in that damn shower.  And I like my showers alone, at least not with the smell of a wet dog if you get my drift. 

Today, as I am preparing for my shower, I neglected to close the shower doors completely, leaving one up a smidgeon.  As I walk back into the bathroom, standing in where I should have been in just a few moments is Tessie, breathing in the nice warm steam.  I stand outside the door realizing she had, once again, taken her head and bumped the door open and now had her face was upwards soaking up the mist like she was Queen of the House. Daddy was gone and so Tessie’s girl could simply wait till she was done.

Oh hell no is what I said audibly!  And with that, she hustled to the back of the shower out of reach. So we played that game for a few moments until she made

a mad dash out of the shower before I could catch her. By now, being full soaked smelling like a wet dog, she made a b-line for my bed. Then, to compound my frustration, she quickly rolled on the bedspread to dry off before I could grab a towel. Oh, to have Charley back and have a puppy that cared about being in the good graces of mommy!

For some reason, the bathroom is a pitfall for Tessie. The garbage man comes two times a week but in our bathroom it is cleaned out daily.  Our darn trash can is motion activated and Tess has learned how to use her snout to pop the lid, bury her head down deep and seize the contents and tear out of there with them firmly in her grip.  This pup loves eating tissue and paper! I am seriously thinking about writing the manufacturer Ninestars and suggest they put on their label Motion Activated by Hand or Dog Snout.

We always have one particular paper in our house, our community newsletter. Perhaps partially because I write at least one article in it a month, I have to read it. Yes, there is some vanity there.  This month Tessie heard me read it aloud and hated the piece. She ripped it to shreds; get this, not the entire newsletter, just the page my article appeared on.  I am calling her now tear-er instead of terror! 

She has been trained. But I apparently haven’t been. We are both taking refreshers later this month. In the meantime I thought the Dog Whisper might

be a good thing to watch till our lessons. Anyways, Tessie loves watching television in the bedroom at night from the bed where she can see it well. So I taped several episodes. These shows, it is pretty easy to tell it is a dog show by the noises of the dogs on the show.  However, it seems to be the only show Tess is not in the least interested in. I think, honestly, it is because she realizes the dogs are not the master. She is much smarter than the Dog Whisperer. He really needs to come to her house. Note, I said her house, not mine!

About the time I think the breeder needs to take her back and someone offers to take her because they think she is so darn cute, she hops on my lap trying to make up to me.  There is something in me that suckers up to her when she lays her head on my chest and plants those little kisses on me.  I do love how when we play hide and seek, she can always find me and just seems so overjoyed at the sight of me and makes me feel so loved and appreciated. And then her tail wags and I know the bond we have has continued to grow. And I can’t help myself and realize the puppy I brought home is staying here till the day she grows her wings.

But I won’t stop poking fun at her till the day she stops doing it to me!