A Special Klansman

America has fought many battles with many countries but still is fighting within. For a

John David Washington

country founded on life, liberty and the pursuit of justice and equality, why is the difference in skin color such a pervasive issue throughout its history? Never is it more clear than watching the new movie BlackKkKlansman.

As soon as the movie came out, I knew I had to see it. Having many friends that are black and minorities, this issue has always touched a nerve in me. People are all God’s children so I have never understood the need to judge each other based on one God given gene. Genetics is pre-determined, not man’s choice. So many that are racist are more comfortable being around a white criminal than a black professional. It is baffling.

Going to the movie on the very first weekend this new movie was out was exciting to me. The lead actor in the movie is none other than star Denzel Washington’s son, John David Washington. Thinking that would be a draw alone, the inside theater we were seated in was one of the smallest ones they had in the cinema.  Next, to my astonishment, the only other person that attended the Saturday evening showing, one of the most popular times to go to the movies, was one other person, one individual alone seated in the back of the theater as if he wanted no one else to see him.

Watching this film was taking us back to a period in time when prejudices were front and center. There was no need to hide it because it was considered acceptable and anything went. There was a total lack of respect of black individuals in society and this story was true. The degradation this police officer had to endure is down right inexcusable.  All was laughed at and allowable because he was at the level viewed as an animal. Somehow he managed to hold his head high and deal with it.

How is this permissible, I said to myself watching the movie. As a white woman, once again, I found it troubling to watch. I was embarrassed and nauseous that any human being let alone an entire race is blatantly treated like this in America. Seeing children ridiculed for being something other than white is cruel and so unlike what the country was founded on. Hate does not further the principles of democracy, justice or unity as we are, if nothing else, the "United" States. How can that label be retained if we continue tearing apart the foundation of each other?

Watching the film brings together the fact that it has again become totally acceptable to degrade blacks. David Duke is acceptable and praised again. His followers can be embraced and freely march hating all blacks and wishing them death as the inferior race. Wearing hoods is not even needed in America anymore as our President has deemed White Supremacists as good people. Yet, as a black American how it must feel to be targeted as a N@gg#*, spit at, shot at when unarmed, given longer sentences for the same crimes white folks do, have crosses burned in their yards, and on and on must be horrific.  And then to hear some white Americans say racism does not exist in America. Walk a few days in their shoes! White supremacy does not advance America. Racism pulls America back to a dark period and when one of us is weakened, all of us are. 

I felt this movie was a punch in the gut for everyone, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, Jewish.  Anyone who is different or hates discrimination will feel unnerved from the movie and renewed passion for standing up for those who are being blacklisted, literally and figuratively. Those that don’t understand the price others pay for racial profiling and the harm that is done by its aftereffects keep your head in the sand or watch this movie. Ignorance is not bliss. Your lack of understanding of the far greater ramifications of building hatred of blacks and the lasting effect it will have on black children is on you! All God's children are prized. And a black Klansman is far less dangerous than a white one.

I Cried Today

You can call me among the few but I call me among millions. No, I was not a fan of Hillary for many reasons but definately not in support of Trump. I cried today along with several friends as the Electoral College voted, as news of what happened in Turkey came out. Knowing if a World War starts we will be on the side of Russia against our allies and Trump voters will be okay with that. I cried as a dear friend is in Germany and knowing many Americans hate Muslims knowing what media will say and the hateful things Trump supporters will now say. Knowing the Muslims in America that are good people will be living in fear of being victims of hate crimes & the hateful terrorists (Radical Islamist) will not be subject to gun sense laws. So many things seem wrong. Knowing my friend is worrying, not about her liver cancer but her daughters losing their Affordable HealthCare. The list goes on. Reading on Twitter that Trump voters feel, if seniors can't afford Medicare when it is gutted and switched to expensive Privatized plans, too bad. Their rates are too high, their time here is done then. They lived a good life. Also, many of these voters for our new President feel, if you can't afford children's insurance when you lose your Affordable care, you shouldn't have had them. They are not paying for yours as they see their taxes doing directly to you and not to anything else the Federal government does as if that is the only thing tax dollars pays for. Suddenly millions of Americans quit caring about the needs of children and families, like many countries we use to help for this very reason, the core of societies. One of the very reasons we elected public servants to look out for. Now it is no longer important or a hallmark of American society. Millions feel we don't need it.

Millions also say women who don't have abortions are not entitled to free healthcare knowing full well,without it, good prenatal care will not happen nor can they afford deliveries. Irregardless of rape, it is their responsibility to pay for healthcare. Social media mocks the disabled, those less fortunate, and rejoices in the fact their benefits are cut so as to provide more money for other needs they deem more important than those less fortunate. Millions feel it is anger that fuels blacks upset with the few police officers targeting minorities rather than try to find compromise and understand noone is condemning the honorable profession.

We are a one party nation, no system of checks and balances. We are hateful and angry as a nation, condemn leaders that others have voted for in large majorities and discount any actions they have taken that have had positive results if we did not elect them. We are no longer States united and the voice that triumphed cares not what the other voice says, in fact the direct opposite, wants them to suffer because of their needs. It actually seems to delight in their discomfort.

This is not the America the rest of the world looked up to as exemplary. This is not the America that was a nation of brotherhood nor why Arlington is lined up with gravestones as wide as the eye can see with a soldiers who died fighting for freedom for civil rights for all, not for a group like the KKK to be marching down a main street broadcasting condemnation of blacks years after Abraham Lincoln gave blacks freedom from slavery and Martin Luther King Jr. gave his I Have a Dream Speech. This is not the America my father worked tirelessly for during the Cold War to keep Russia at bay and our allies close at hand so we could be unified with the world. No, this is but a shadow of who we use to be. We are a corrupt nation.

I cried today, I will cry tomorrow, and the next day.
But I will use my voice, today, tomorrow and the next day because I have faith
And because I believe one voice makes a difference.
And I believe my voice will blend with millions of other voices that believe
one day we can make a change.

Amen.

Stories to Tell

The years seem to pass quicker the older I get.  Isn’t that ironic when now I want everything

to move slower. I want more time for daylight, weekdays, and yes, even weekends.  But my

reasons for wanting long weekends are not for the same reasons as when I was in school, no not at all.   I want to savor the moments, have the luxury of just relaxing, taking in the splendor of living life to the fullest.   Too much time has gone by where I was living by the seat of my pants, in perpetual motion.  I look back and sometimes wonder where I got the energy to get it all done so quickly and still keep moving.  If I had to do it all over again, I could not possibly come up with enough kinetic energy to do so.

  

There were days when I was working part time and attending college full time.  All the while, I was raising my two children, holding down a house, managing the household finances (barely!), the kids select soccer seasons and whew, whatever else came my way.  Nights ended at midnight with my studying and days started around 5:00 a.m.

As the years have flashed by, and the seasons change, so have I. I sure wish my body would recirculate like the leaves on the trees do and when fall returns, my body would look rejuvenated and as pretty as it did last autumn.  Mine gets each year, a bit older, more wrinkles, and possibly a teeny bit slower too, if one was clocking my speed.   It is safe to save Mother Nature is not as kind to mere Mortals as she is to the planet Earth.  That tree in our front yard will be here long after me and be just as majestic.

When I was younger, visiting with family was boring.  Just sitting around talking was painful. I would be looking for any distraction to help make it more bearable.  Now I simply find it so refreshing to spend time with family, immediate and extended. It is amazing how those bonds, no matter the time between visits or distance, seem to build quickly and they renew intently.   The similarities are quickly recognized and the shared memories warm the heart.   I find myself craving for more time and not less time with family to celebrate our connection.

Friends of yesterday years helped influence who I am today; some in small ways, some in large ways and some were just a fun piece of my history.   How I would enjoy reminiscing

with them!  In the past, running away from times in my life when I didn’t have it all together, e.g. high school years, sounded ideal. Now, as the pieces of my life fit, it would be so entertaining to collect some of those former friends and actually connect live, in person and just celebrate life, the fact of what we were and who we are now.   One day we will all be connected again, in a more perfect world and but all of us have come a long way and have hopefully grown.  The past is a blessing and the present is a blessing also.

I find more and more things in this world we live in to smile about and less to worry about as I age.  Cynicism is an attitude.  It is a choice.   It is allowing the negative to underlie everything you see, think and feel.  If I do that, I can’t enjoy the moment.  I worked too hard to be here, at this moment, to not enjoy it.  There is so much good surrounding us if we look and feel with an open heart.

Plus I believe in miracles. I see them every day. I think with a closed mind, you don’t see them.  I have faith and believe God makes things happen all the time.  I didn’t feel this so much when I was younger. This is something I have become more aware of as I have grown older and deepened my faith.  Try adopting this attitude for a while and you may be shocked at what you see happening all around you. 

My favorite memory of old was listening to elderly people tell stories of their life, growing up. 

There was this one lady, Louise, for example. She lived in a nursing home next to my grandparents’ house in Piqua, Ohio. Louise was wheel chair bound and had no legs. When she was younger, she use to attend grand gala events at a huge home in Dayton, Ohio down the street from where I grew up. in Saville Estates. We use to simply call the home the Mansion.   It was easily the biggest house in the neighborhood and towered on a huge hill down the street.  It always looked horrible when I was kid, run down, with huge outdoor pool overrun with weeds, signs of decay on the columns running alongside the walk ways leading to the pool, ivy growing up alongside the house.  

Louise described the house from back in her days, when her relatives owned it.  It was a different day and time. She showed me pictures of her family from outside on the grounds and inside the home.   It was like something from Tara in Gone with the Wind. Simply beautiful!   The pool water was crystal clear with the ladies and gents around the edge of the water in their full body bathing suits as was the custom in those days.   The yard was well manicured and looked as clean and proper as a golf course on the pro tour. 

The day I ran over to Louise’s one bedroom to hear my afternoon of stories and found her room utterly empty only to be told she had died, my heart sunk.  She cannot be replaced.  She brought to life her life to me.

Stories of our life told to younger generations should do that; bring an earlier era to life. Take time to do that. History is best served that way.  I use to crave listening to older people talk about their lives, some twenty and thirty years ago. Those recanting were so much better than a boring history book.   I always wondered what it would be like to have a pocket full of stories like that to tell. 

It is as if I woke up one day and became one of those old women sitting on the front porch.  I have a wheelbarrow full of stories, oodles of wonderful yarns about people I have met along life’s journey. Oh, and tons of stories about me, about history in the making, when microwaves first came out, where I was when the Shuttle blew up, when cloth diapers were used only, etc….  Some of the stories are funny, some sad, some make you think.  All of them have touched me in their own unique way.   Isn’t it amazing how much we learn in life from just everyday living?   It is as if recanting our steps in life we can help someone else vicariously visit the history of us, our legacy. The joy of a story is being taken to a land far far away  without your feet leaving the ground.

As we age, before our feet leave the ground permanently, perhaps we should all consider doing this, tell someone your story. 

Pathway to the Future

History truly does repeat itself, even in the homes of America. More specifically, in my immediate family, a tradition has been started. One that has been carried down and lives on.

When I was in 5th grade, my father sat me down one night, after dinner with some exciting news .He told me that he was taking two years off of his current job at the Air Force Base he worked at to pursue his Doctorate. He felt this was something that he had, for far too long put on hold. He stressed to me the importance of a good education, the virtues and the ability to be a better provider and the personal enrichment of more education. Consequently, we would all have to make some sacrifices. The cost was worth it because of the benefits. I could, even at my young age, see that clearly.

The lesson stayed with me throughout my youth into my young adult hood years. When I found myself pregnant unexpectedly and having to bypass college plans at the traditional age, I was quite taken back. I vowed to one day make that degree, the education my father preached about, a reality. It took several years, but two kids later, and off I would go. I attended part time at first and then switched to full time when my youngest began kindergarten. Even on the heels of a divorce, I was not deterred from continuing my pursuit of the degree. In fact, I was so driven, I carried two majors in college, held down a house, sole custody of two children and worked part time as an assistant editor for a book publishing company while carrying a full course load in college. Friends thought I was crazy. No one told me I was amazing, intelligent or courageous. I think then many thought I was just plain nuts.

Two people thought I was brilliant. The two people on earth that mattered to me most, my motivation for moving forward also, my children, Mike and Christina. I believe parents are strong role models, when they choose to be. My kids sat with me while I studied and did their homework too. When they didn’t have any to do, I did all the normal things mothers do with their kids. After they went to bed, I stayed up till well past midnight studying and started the day all over again, but dreamed during the night of providing them and myself a better life.


I finally did graduate. I could not attend a graduation ceremony. I had no money to get a cap and a gown. I needed the money so my children could get off of free lunch programs and start buying lunch again. We were all sick of Taco Bell’s specials as our only nights out for dinner. I grabbed the first job I was offered even though it was not the dream job. It was one that had a paycheck attached to it and had required a bachelor’s degree and that was good enough for me and for my two children. And better off we were! And we never looked back again.

Just a few months, my daughter completed her Masters degree in Nursing and passed her accreditation to be a Nurse Practitioner. This was done while balancing her career in Nursing working full time at a Children’s Hospital being a mother to a small infant son. She is married so has a strong support system in her husband but none the less, attending school and studying while working full time is not easy. But yet, I think having had a mom that accomplished this , my daughter knows she can do anything she sets her sights on! She did it with flying colors and is now working as a nurse practitioner at a clinic and putting her husband in school so that he has the same opportunity she had. I am proud of her and her grandfather is even prouder!

On the other side of the coin, my son married a woman that fits right in to the family dynamics. He went onto straight from high school to college and then to get his PhD in Dentistry. He then served a few years in the Armed Services and obtained further training and additional credentialing. Him and his wife have three small children. After having left the military, she has decided to pursue her education! With three children and all that entails, being married to a professional man with a full time demanding career, she is managing this. She is realizing her dream amidst a lot of controversy as folks sit on the sidelines thinking she is plain nuts. Even with a nanny, three children is no easy feat. There is a never ending list of to do things at that house and items to juggle on the household calendar. Yet she does it will amazing skill and still gets the best marks possible in her classes. And my son is as supportive as he can possibly me. He knows women deserve educations.

I thank my father for teaching me that the value of an education truly starts in the home. It is taught by one’s parents that it has a priceless value. His talk to me was passed to my children. My children took it to heart and both went further with their studies than I and are living proof the message landed on receptive ears. Both of my children’s spouses are currently enrolled in college, attending full time in spite of the fact both have small children in their households. I am one proud mother in law!

Encourage your families to push for additional education, in any method they can. Learning can come about in many ways, by attending seminars, from watching the learning channels, from reading, from conducting research on line, from staying informed on current affairs. Our youth need to consider higher education more seriously. We cannot overcome our weaknesses as a nation and our lack of overall unity by being ignorant. We all must be educated and teach each other every chance we get. Ignorance breeds contempt and loathing. Be open minded, read, listen to others and teach young people to continue to want to learn. Someone once said the best thing college gives you is a well rounded eduction. The curriculum is designed to do so. A nation of educated peoples will help build a future with promise. Seek education in any form you can get it, with it you gain power and wisdom. Without, you are lost at sea.