Looking in the mirror she saw a tear. It was rolling down that wrinkle next to her eye. Sheuse to think with age came no sorrow. That perhaps there is a quota of pain. With time, comes experience to laugh off disparaging events, disappointments and hurts. Don’t old women learn that life always brings challenges and with them, hope begins anew?
As she stared at the reflection, for a few moments, she barely recognized the image. She saw someone who, for a few moments looked slightly broken, as if a piece of her heart had been torn, once again from her chest. She remembered various hurts she had endured during her lifetime. A flashback occurred of monumental sacrifices she had made for others. Standing there she was hit by the realization that they did not matter as much as she had thought they would to the receivers of her gifts of love.
As she pondered this thought, she also realized the true purpose of a gift is not what was returned lovingly back into her life but what she selfishly gave. That would indeed be her legacy, her blessings God wanted her to return to this world in the time He had given her. This was her given time to show her love for others, His love for her in action and deeds and not so much in words.
Gripping the sink with all her might, the tears began to flow. With knowledge she realized with growth can often come tears. With tears come doors being closed. When the door is closed, she knew it was time once again to hit her knees and pray. She must once again pray to the one who always opens a new window to faith. This has happened before in her lifetime and more than likely will happen again, will create another wrinkle, another slow tear to form, another visit to the mirror.
As the tears flowed, rolling down her face, she bowed her head in deep sadness. She let it overtake her. She let her body be filled with body-raking sobs to experience the full brunt of her emotions bottled within. Then, ever so slowly she raised her head. She regained her composure, her inner strength, her pride knowing she had done the right thing, what needed to be done. She knew in her heart what God had whispered in her ear, everyone deserves peace and acceptance and to live free from judgement. If respect and loyalty is absent in a relationship, there is no relationship. So letting go is releasing a sought after dream that was never coming true.
As she now looked herself squarely eye to eye at that reflection, she once again viewedher image. Now her reflection looked brighter. She saw what she had become through all the pains, sorrows and disappointments, laughter, successes and growth over the years. Now with a head lifted high she saw a loving sacrificing loyal mother and a fun grandmother with a deep abiding love that would always remain and watch over her grandchildren even from a perch in heaven. She relished the fact she was a giving supportive wife, a blessed friend, and a successful woman with joy and optimism always. Most of all, this old woman was a devoted servant of God.
Oh yes, make no mistake the tears continued to flow with no rhyme or reason, free abandonment now. She wore that wrinkle proud and the new one that would form quickly from her new hurt, that new pain she would wear now. But instead, there was a smile on her face, ever so small. There was a twinkle in her eye. If the truth be known, it was indeed none other but the Holy Spirit mending once again a broken heart.
May you be like this older woman, find comfort in God. In your moments of the lowest of lows, when and if a door closes, I pray you feel the love of the one that loves you the most, our Savior, the Lord.