The Wicked World of Domestic Abuse

Today I made my Facebook profile black in honor of all the victims of domestic abuse in America. Where are they? Who are they? So many are faceless and voiceless out of fear, out of shame and worried they will be disbelieved. Thousands of women question women’s stories asking what their background is, their clothing, their mental state as if that is a reason to justify abusing a woman. Too many people who aren’t victims fail to understand the plight of a victim and become judge and jury.

Parents who abuse children is a crime that goes unpunished also. It is a silent killer of the spirit of a child that carries over into adulthood. It becomes an ever-ending tape of self-doubt and worry that a victim of abuse must counter with constant positive inner dialogue to override years of negativity from a abusive home.  The child in America lives in a climate where freedom is just a word, not a reality.

Too many times adults say to other victims, get over the chains of abuse. For some reason, just like with a soldier who has witnessed senseless killing before his eyes, the standard set is unfair. Seeing such cruelty is a personal journey in hell much like domestic abuse. The after affects of abuse  are scars from within that never completely heal. That is why the awareness of abuse is critical to the success and healthiness of society. One of the number one contributors to mental illness is abuse. 80% of all prison inmates have been abused and have mental health issues. And America has one of the largest inmate populations. Extreme abuse can lead to mental illness. 

This is the ugly topic no one wants to really delve into, domestic abuse. It is the one where those without the experience want to look to causes of a victim. They prefer to keep their paradigm easy to understand,  not realizing some things are just not black and right,  right and wrong. Parents don't always love right and men are not always supporting their women. And abuse is never okay, never justifiable. Waiting till it happens to your loved one is egotistical, animalistic. We should all care enough about the human condition of each other, regardless of our own experiences.

Where are the victims of domestic violence?  All around you; 31% of all women have been physically abused by an intimate partner in their lives. Is abuse a sexist issue?  You decide, 85% of all domestic abuse cases in America are against women.  How many women don’t speak up?  Some reports say as high as 70% of the cases don’t get reported.  Many victims fear an escalation of violence by the perpetrator, shame by others and a lack of belief.  How many times in the news does someone speak out about assault and finds themselves having their lives torn apart? So many look at them as if they were to blame for being attacked.  

Trying to help other women comes with a price for a female victim of abuse.  And it is astonishing how many friends she can find who are also naive about the issue. Listen to the chatter on the topic around you, bring the topic up and sit back and think about what is said. Consider if the person they are speaking about was your mother, your daughter and what's more YOU. Hence, more women stay quiet leaving most of us unprotected from rapists, abusers, stalkers and such because of other women and men degrading those that do speak, the brave 30%!

If you are being abused or know someone who is, get help now. Don’t wait till it is too late. Don’t let someone own your soul and ruin your life, or take it!  Use the help lines available 24/7/365 on the attached link. Hotline Link Link

Nobody deserves to be abused! I know, I am one of those stats. But I am not just another number. Each one represents a human life, unlimited potential.  I was afraid to speak out. I am ashamed, some days that I didn't. I was worth it, and baby, so are you! 

A Special Klansman

America has fought many battles with many countries but still is fighting within. For a

John David Washington

country founded on life, liberty and the pursuit of justice and equality, why is the difference in skin color such a pervasive issue throughout its history? Never is it more clear than watching the new movie BlackKkKlansman.

As soon as the movie came out, I knew I had to see it. Having many friends that are black and minorities, this issue has always touched a nerve in me. People are all God’s children so I have never understood the need to judge each other based on one God given gene. Genetics is pre-determined, not man’s choice. So many that are racist are more comfortable being around a white criminal than a black professional. It is baffling.

Going to the movie on the very first weekend this new movie was out was exciting to me. The lead actor in the movie is none other than star Denzel Washington’s son, John David Washington. Thinking that would be a draw alone, the inside theater we were seated in was one of the smallest ones they had in the cinema.  Next, to my astonishment, the only other person that attended the Saturday evening showing, one of the most popular times to go to the movies, was one other person, one individual alone seated in the back of the theater as if he wanted no one else to see him.

Watching this film was taking us back to a period in time when prejudices were front and center. There was no need to hide it because it was considered acceptable and anything went. There was a total lack of respect of black individuals in society and this story was true. The degradation this police officer had to endure is down right inexcusable.  All was laughed at and allowable because he was at the level viewed as an animal. Somehow he managed to hold his head high and deal with it.

How is this permissible, I said to myself watching the movie. As a white woman, once again, I found it troubling to watch. I was embarrassed and nauseous that any human being let alone an entire race is blatantly treated like this in America. Seeing children ridiculed for being something other than white is cruel and so unlike what the country was founded on. Hate does not further the principles of democracy, justice or unity as we are, if nothing else, the "United" States. How can that label be retained if we continue tearing apart the foundation of each other?

Watching the film brings together the fact that it has again become totally acceptable to degrade blacks. David Duke is acceptable and praised again. His followers can be embraced and freely march hating all blacks and wishing them death as the inferior race. Wearing hoods is not even needed in America anymore as our President has deemed White Supremacists as good people. Yet, as a black American how it must feel to be targeted as a N@gg#*, spit at, shot at when unarmed, given longer sentences for the same crimes white folks do, have crosses burned in their yards, and on and on must be horrific.  And then to hear some white Americans say racism does not exist in America. Walk a few days in their shoes! White supremacy does not advance America. Racism pulls America back to a dark period and when one of us is weakened, all of us are. 

I felt this movie was a punch in the gut for everyone, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, Jewish.  Anyone who is different or hates discrimination will feel unnerved from the movie and renewed passion for standing up for those who are being blacklisted, literally and figuratively. Those that don’t understand the price others pay for racial profiling and the harm that is done by its aftereffects keep your head in the sand or watch this movie. Ignorance is not bliss. Your lack of understanding of the far greater ramifications of building hatred of blacks and the lasting effect it will have on black children is on you! All God's children are prized. And a black Klansman is far less dangerous than a white one.