The Wicked World of Domestic Abuse

Today I made my Facebook profile black in honor of all the victims of domestic abuse in America. Where are they? Who are they? So many are faceless and voiceless out of fear, out of shame and worried they will be disbelieved. Thousands of women question women’s stories asking what their background is, their clothing, their mental state as if that is a reason to justify abusing a woman. Too many people who aren’t victims fail to understand the plight of a victim and become judge and jury.

Parents who abuse children is a crime that goes unpunished also. It is a silent killer of the spirit of a child that carries over into adulthood. It becomes an ever-ending tape of self-doubt and worry that a victim of abuse must counter with constant positive inner dialogue to override years of negativity from a abusive home.  The child in America lives in a climate where freedom is just a word, not a reality.

Too many times adults say to other victims, get over the chains of abuse. For some reason, just like with a soldier who has witnessed senseless killing before his eyes, the standard set is unfair. Seeing such cruelty is a personal journey in hell much like domestic abuse. The after affects of abuse  are scars from within that never completely heal. That is why the awareness of abuse is critical to the success and healthiness of society. One of the number one contributors to mental illness is abuse. 80% of all prison inmates have been abused and have mental health issues. And America has one of the largest inmate populations. Extreme abuse can lead to mental illness. 

This is the ugly topic no one wants to really delve into, domestic abuse. It is the one where those without the experience want to look to causes of a victim. They prefer to keep their paradigm easy to understand,  not realizing some things are just not black and right,  right and wrong. Parents don't always love right and men are not always supporting their women. And abuse is never okay, never justifiable. Waiting till it happens to your loved one is egotistical, animalistic. We should all care enough about the human condition of each other, regardless of our own experiences.

Where are the victims of domestic violence?  All around you; 31% of all women have been physically abused by an intimate partner in their lives. Is abuse a sexist issue?  You decide, 85% of all domestic abuse cases in America are against women.  How many women don’t speak up?  Some reports say as high as 70% of the cases don’t get reported.  Many victims fear an escalation of violence by the perpetrator, shame by others and a lack of belief.  How many times in the news does someone speak out about assault and finds themselves having their lives torn apart? So many look at them as if they were to blame for being attacked.  

Trying to help other women comes with a price for a female victim of abuse.  And it is astonishing how many friends she can find who are also naive about the issue. Listen to the chatter on the topic around you, bring the topic up and sit back and think about what is said. Consider if the person they are speaking about was your mother, your daughter and what's more YOU. Hence, more women stay quiet leaving most of us unprotected from rapists, abusers, stalkers and such because of other women and men degrading those that do speak, the brave 30%!

If you are being abused or know someone who is, get help now. Don’t wait till it is too late. Don’t let someone own your soul and ruin your life, or take it!  Use the help lines available 24/7/365 on the attached link. Hotline Link Link

Nobody deserves to be abused! I know, I am one of those stats. But I am not just another number. Each one represents a human life, unlimited potential.  I was afraid to speak out. I am ashamed, some days that I didn't. I was worth it, and baby, so are you!