A Gift of a Grandma

On a recent trip to Nashville to see my grandchildren, my grandson was asking me to buy him toys. Thus began a talk I wanted to have about my own grandmother. The value of my relationship with her was built on her unconditional love for me.

Grandma Gliatti was born in Italy and moved to America in her twenties.  She and my grandpa were poor. I am sure they lived on pasta and homemade bread for many meals.  She used to tell me stories of hiding under the kitchen table when bill collectors came.

Even when I was a small child, toys were prized, getting any kind of gift or money. And yet, Grandma never had much money so gifts were limited to Christmas and were very small items.. At that time, she bought all of her grandchildren (which were many) a little something each, frequently we all got the same thing.

The delight in getting a gift from Grandma Gliatti was more special because of who it came from than any item. Infact, as good as my memory is of my childhood, I can only recall one gift from her, a Barbie type doll that was Italian so she said!

Her reaction to seeing her grandkids happy was the best gift of all. When Grandma smiled, her face lit up and at times, she would move to tears of joy. How can you put a price tag on a gift like that? 

I was raised by my Grandma’s son, who was the only one of 4 siblings not living  in Toledo, Ohio. Thus my time spent with her was limited to weekend trips to see her and the rest of the family. The drive to Grandma’s didn’t matter; it was too big of a thrill to see her to care. She was worth the boring drive. Her and Grandpa I felt the moon and stars were over their head.

Kindness in a relative is not measured in terms of material possessions but more out of love. Grandma use to sit up late with my sister and me, talking about whatever we wanted to talk about until my father pulled in the driveway. As soon as she saw those headlights, she would yell and laugh telling us to run up to our bed we shared and pretend to be asleep.  We did exactly as we were told, never letting on what Grandma had done.

Looking back, perhaps our parents knew it and chose to not say a word. The late night chats seemed to be as important and special to Grandma as they were to me. Her white powdered cookies she hid in the cabinet from Grandpa would come out and we would sit munching cookies and laughing with her for hours.

Those days gone by, of watching her make her Italian dishes and kneed bread may be over with but in my mind, they never ended. She was an important part of my youth and the realization that what she gave was priceless hits me hard when I look at my own grandchildren.

I asked my grandson what his best memory was of being with me. Not surprising he 
mentioned something he had done with me. I then began rattling off, with my husband, his
Grandpa, a multitude of experiences we have shared with him over the years. The list is endless, baking cookies, attending a Christmas show, playing at the park, swimming in our backyard, reading books before bed at our house, watching him laugh with delight at our Christmas train!

I told him about my grandmother who has gone to heaven. It was important to me that he understand that what I miss about Grandma is not an item I opened or her slipping me a quarter at the store. My memories of all the fun times I laughed with her and she told me how much she loved me is what I remember best and loved the most.

My grandson seemed to understand because he asked me if I miss her much. I told him yes, but that is why I try to be as good of a grandmother to him as she was
to me. When I die, I asked my grandson always remember what we did together and how I made him feel. I then had to ask if he knows how much I love him. When he said yes, I told him than he too, when he grows up, won't remember me for a truck, a bug or a train. Infact, I went on to say I don't want you to remember anything I bought you. I want you only to think of all the laughter we shared and all the wonderful memories of the time we have spent together, just like I do with my Grandma! 

Now I know how grandma felt towards me and how she missed a grandchild when she didn't see them. But, I also know, as she said, we carry them in our heart so they are never truly far away. 


Out of Touch Blogger!

Author: Jeanette Lynn Dundas
Attending a Book Signing show recently reminded me of how negligent I have been in writing my blogs. I apologize wholeheartedly to those that follow me. It is a matter of making the time, not finding it as time is there if you make any task a priority.

Writing is a passion of mine, though I lack the list of credentials I see on many bloggers page. At times it shocks me that so many follow me but then again, I am not impressed by
college educations, what someone’s title is. No, I am impressed by who they are now, how they give to others and what lessons they can teach me on my growth journey. So perhaps I touch a few of those qualities in you, the reader.

Finding material is only hard when you have a mental block.  The world is full of exciting things to write about and most of us live high on emotions so that generates plenty of dialogue to capture on paper.  And, lately for me, I have been scrutinizing every topic I want to blog about wondering if it will hold anyone’s interest but mine.

The answer is yes. Many times the articles I have written that I have put the most thought
Dan Alatorre - Author
and energy into do not net the greatest statistics of readers. It is usually that impulse write that comes straight from the heart that seems to spread over social media much quicker and to a larger audience.

So, with that said, I will try to stay back in touch! 

Veronica Gliatti


Innermost Thoughts,Your Life as it Happens....Dear Diary & such...

Being a journal writer is an uphill battle for me. I have a tendency to go through dry spells. I seem more motivated when things aren’t going smooth, when I feel like I need to hit my knees and pray. Then, I have more to say, require more of a therapy session and thus, want to grab my journal book and get one for free. And, what does journaling actually do but force you to think and reflect. It is a stop and listen to yourself moment that hopefully creates an aha moment for free! 

 The experience of journaling is the cathartic act of allowing oneself to free flow think and capture it in writing. Communicating to yourself with no fear of judgement is liberating. It is not worrying about punctuation, grammar or spelling also. That slow can frequently slow down the process and interfere with your train of thought.  It is letting the hostility out without having the ugly confrontation that can often backfire.  It is telling someone where to go without mincing words but in a private safe place. It is having the great comeback that is never really said, days or maybe even years after the fact.  It is wrapping up the torn pieces possibly of your broken heart, a fragmented life and dysfunctional relationship.

Too many times, words get in the way of moving forward in your life. Once said, uttered by you or someone near, they can’t be erased nor their initial impact. Putting them down in a journal and releasing the feelings and your thoughts gets them out in a visual mirror and forces you to somewhat listen to yourself also. It is kinda like taking out the garbage and lightening the backpack of life’s stressors.  

Journaling can be as as simple as having coffee with a friend kind of conversation and catching up with the day. It is answering “How am I?”  It is “What did I do today” and “What is making my life incomplete?”  It is the mundane in other people’s lives perhaps but the stuff that makes you wonder makes me feel down or just day dream. Work it out awake, with all your senses in the solution.  Detail how you are changing.  

Family secrets can often be found in a journal’s pages. Put words to horrors, to discoveries, to missed opportunities, to tragedies. This is liberating for the soul and creates a history of life, of the life and times we live in. Your story may be someone else’s and it may, one day, help someone else get through.    Don’t carry the past into tomorrow so release it in a way you aren’t forgetting it, are documenting it if you need to reflect on it but are working through it. You are freeing up your energy and spiritual life to live in the now. The entries on pages of a journal ensure the legacy is left of once was.
 Giving praise to God through a journal is an incredible way to devote our prayers also. Many times prayer at the end of the day eludes people because the minute they hit the pillow sleep overcomes them.  A quick visit with a pen and paper is a super easy way to create your blessing list.  What are your top attributes as these are gifts to not only you but to the world.  Don’t ever let God think you take these blessings for granted. Let him know what you are trying to do to develop them and share them with others.

Soul searching is often most sincere when it is done alone. What are the riches that define your life?  Write them down so those that follow you know what you set out to do.  Prayer is communication; writing is a form of effective communication, even to God, thus the Bible. Document your thoughts, your questions, fears and faith issues. You may discover they are answered, simply in the writing process!

Time is slipping away. You are one of the millions of stars God gazes at daily. You are tasked with living fully this life you are given with all its ups and downs and curves along the way. Make sure your life experiences are captured in some way for others to learn or experience part of you.  So many things in life go left unsaid, unknown and when you are gone, they are buried.  Your life can’t be defined by a tombstone. Take pictures, journal or find some other way to make your statement about your life. Just maybe it will be a new beginning, starting with a “ Dear Diary. “  The rest of us can’t wait to hear about it, about you!


Motherhood Lessons

Motherhood is not for the faint at heart. It is not for those that believe being a mommy is fun and games. It is for those that are willing to put their hearts on the line only to have it broken time and time again but find the overall rewards worth it. It is for the women who find giving life and planting seeds for the world rewarding.

As Mother’s Day comes, I reflect on lessons. Expect nothing in return and then, when you get it, you will be pleasantly surprised. Kids think the world revolves around them and mothers are there to serve. When you are given attention, you are to thank them for their time, at any age.

There will be plenty of excuses. There are busy playing with their toys, then with their friends, then driving somewhere, anywhere! Next comes a focus on college (which you are helping with odds and ends anyways!), dating, marriage, kids and life. There appears to always be something more important than you. It is like “Cat’s in the Cradle Song”, even when you have made the time, and still do. Many adult children simply won’t make the time for you. Accept this truth and you will be much happier. Just savor the time you are given.  You can’t change them so don’t try. With acceptance comes peace.

You are the number one cheerleader for your child. Have a "you can do it" attitude. Nobody cares more about your child than you, no other parent or teacher. They may not acknowledge you on the sideline and any yell may be met with extreme embarrassment.  You may be forbidden to wave but trust me, your being there is an esteem builder, it shows they matter. At the end of the game, they may run off to their friends but it registered and you saw what you created put forth effort. It is a win-win!

You were not put in the world to be a parent in order to be their best friend. Wait till you utter these words and watch their faces switch to creatures you don’t recognize. All the sudden, you swear you
never bore this hateful creature. But yet, being a mom means putting boundary lines in place, that means saying no, grounding, and saying uncomplimentary things at times, the things their friends wouldn’t dare say. You say it because you love them and they need to hear it. They won’t see it as love. They will hate you and swear you are mean and put up a wall of disbelief and anger towards you. It will break your heart but if not you, who will do this necessary step to growth? No one will tell you motherhood is easy.

Getting thrown up, pooped, and bled on is no fun but shit happens, again and again!  Be ready and muster through.  You also become a semi-paramedic yet never feel quite adequate to answer questions like do I take them to the ER, to the doctor, does it require stitches, is this temperature too high, will you throw up again, and are you contagious?  Get a Magic 8 ball.  It will help!

Talk about the stuff that makes your kids uncomfortable. Sound strange?  Talk about porn, sex, safe sex, birth control, Christian values, faith, child molesters, unsafe people, politics, drugs, divorce, etc.…  Better at home to bring them up, don’t leave it to school, the internet, strangers, peers, etc. Your belief system is a far better teacher. They will squirm and you may too but it gives them a chance to ask you and create a safe channel of communication lines. Make the world safer for your children and for our community, our world.

Be willing to understand you will make mistakes, plenty of them. You must own up to them for not doing so sends a message to your children that you are perfect, arrogant or unwilling to admit you’re wrong. None of us is expected to be a perfect mom; we are only expected to try our best with what we are given. If your kids love you, they will appreciate what they are given. If they can’t accept that, you must let them struggle with why. God placed them with you for a reason.

Walking into motherhood requires prayer. Some children you can’t survive with without it.  Your miracle didn’t get here without God. It will certainly go better for all if you continue to allow God’s miracles to happen in your life and theirs by asking for a little help!  

Some children, as they move on with their lives, may move completely out of your life. This is hard
as you age because, though the memories may forever make you feel young at heart, your body gives your age away.  They may put the priority of you in their life on a backburner more than ever just as you realize your life is coming closer to the end. Know in your heart that many mothers have shared this fate.  You are not alone.  As when your children slammed the door after screaming they hate you, you must leave the door closed much as it hurts. Continue to love them and continue to pray. You have been a mom and will continue to be till the end of your life but it is their choice to make. You planted the seed and showed them what unconditional love was. Now is the time to reflect on the precious memories if no more are created.

Though motherhood is full of heart aches, drama and trauma, it is also full of laughter, joy and pride. It is a time of celebration and a lifetime of memories. It is reminder of our Christian faith in that Mary, mother of Jesus showed how one so kindhearted and loving could raise a king meaning each and every one of us is capable of turning a single baby into someone who can change the world! 


Children & The Impact of Divorce

After the “I dos” of marriage comes the “I don’ts” many weren’t expecting!  After a wedding, it seems like the start of something big, and beautiful but marriage can be far from that. Like any relationship it takes work. But the diligent work doesn’t get done half the time for various reasons. Thus, many in America are divorced and its effects are felt on the little people who don’t have a say in the decision.

 For the third year in a row, divorce rates have dropped. That is the good news, the bad news is we still had, in 2016, a 40-50% divorce rate in America. With second time marriages, it is much higher.  It is interesting to know, we use to have the highest divorce rate of all the nations and have dropped in our standing! However, this still leave so many children in broken homes in our country. 23% are living with single mothers and most of the rest in blended families. It is estimated by U.S. Consensus Bureau in 2016 there are 73.7 million children affected and living in divorced homes in some type of different home situation than the nuclear family.

The effects of divorce on children is overwhelming profound anxiety. Much more in-depth effects is available on Focus on the Family’s website.  Parents are supposed to be problem solvers and a safety net for children. Divorce is change, failure, loss and a fear of conflict meaning no stability again.

A few weeks ago, while swimming in our pool at our Clubhouse I noticed two young girls swimming in the shallow end. They turned out to be 8 years old and 10 years old when they swam over and introduced themselves to me. They asked if they could talk to me. I was surprised by the question and told them sure. I then asked who they were there with and why would they want to talk to an adult, me, when they can play in the pool. The answer stunned me.  They wanted to just talk.

The older child, 10, explained she was there with her grandmother, whom she pointed out laying in a chair by the pool texting on her cellphone. They enjoy coming over to the grandmother’s house together, one was a friend of the other.  The 10 year old went on to say that her parents were divorced and her friend repeated this about her home also. They both went on to tell me, in very unemotional voice that they don’t get much of a chance to talk to adults. They thought I looked like someone who would talk and listen to them. I told them I was a grandma too and they were very excited. By now, I had their undivided attention, whether I wanted it or not.

I explained to them I came from a divorce home too and understood it can be hard to adjust. It takes time. The 10 year old (I am intentionally leaving out names) shocked me with her next comments. She said that it had been a couple years now since her parents divorced. Her father left the area and now never has any contact with her.  She said “I will probably never see my real dad again.” Her mother had a new boyfriend again and she didn’t even know his name but he was living with them.  I questioned why she didn’t know his name. She said it is not worth worrying about, he will leave sooner or later like all the others.  They get along, they fight and then they break up so I try not to care about any new boyfriends, besides they really don’t care much about me.” The 8 year old said, basically the same thing. I asked the girls how are you feeling about all this change in their life?

Listen to the response:  “It doesn’t bother me anymore, we are used to it. See, we figured it out. People get married to have kids and then get divorced. So a lot of kids don’t really have a mom and
dad  anymore. I wish I was one that did. Mine moved far away, to get away from us I guess.”  The 8 year old looked at the 10 year old and said “I never get much attention anymore, my mom is too busy with her latest boyfriend. It has changed so much.” Her older friend, her mentor, assured her that this was normal. “Don’t feel bad, it is life,” she said. She explained to her friend that the time was over for both her parents to care about her, she was practically grown now and in school.  She likes meeting new men and then bringing them home to live with her.  She said that is why friends are so good for us. She then looked at her friend who looked quite sad, and said “Try to learn to accept it. It really is okay, it won’t change just because you are sad.”

I was silent for a few moments, unsure what to say. No one wants to add more confusion into a child’s life so I simply said you are valued and loved children for being children, never ever forget that. I suggested they talk to their parents but was met with, we tried, and she never has time for us anymore. It really is okay, we are fine, the older one proclaimed with a smile, but alittle on the forced side.  Underneath, below the surface, was the adult sadness in both girls’ eyes.

This is simply two girls, a sampling of the millions of children living in broken homes in America. But it clearly shows that, when getting divorced, do not make the mistake of divorcing your children’s needs. Your children were created, not by choice, and should have a right to getting attention and love.  This conversation was much deeper below the surface.

Parents are role models, they will follow the patterns you establish. Don’t invite other partners into your home without explaining to your children who they are and giving them a few chances to catch their breath, especially if you are bringing in people like a revolving door. This affects children for life, decreasing their chances of having a successful happy, fulfilled marriage.  They think this is the norm, not the exception and will not take commitment seriously. Because yours didn’t work, don’t condemn them to failure.

But, I think the biggest lesson I learned and was reminded of in my own life is the importance of talking to your children. Open communication lines, by the way, goes in two directions. You use interpersonal communication skills to talk to them and then allow them, make the time, the biological parent! Listen, not just to what your kids say but what they do and how they do it. Try to keep both parents an active part or some small part of their lives. Failing grades, health issues or restless sleeping are all signs of maladjustment. Seek a therapist for both your child and you if there are issues and don’t just leave it to chance. They are worth more than that.

There is nothing worse than feeling, like these girls went on to tell me, an old tire, long forgotten and pulled off the car when the divorce happened. They felt, as many do, there really was no purpose for them in their parents’ life anymore.  They deserve more love, attention and respect than that. Freedom from a bad marriage comes at a cost. Don’t make your children the ones that have to pay the heaviest price.


One Year Anniversary in Florida!

Anniversary of a year in Florida! Hard to believe it has been that long that we have lived here, it seems like yesterday that a decision was made by my husband overnight, we needed a new chapter

and it should include a move. I felt like I came kicking and screaming to some extent but with unbridled anticipation of excitement, afraid I would be disappointed so hanging on to fear of change. This was a reversal of roles in our marriage! And after one year, the rewards were plentiful and the time has been enlightening.

The fear was that with Jim’s retirement and limited income, we would not be busy. Moving to Florida, closer to new sights and an active 55+ community felt like that might invite activity on our calendar.  Leaving behind three grandchildren in Nashville was heart-breaking but also realizing we cannot plan a life around them while we still have our health was vital to our decision.  Their life is not planned around ours, nor should it be.

So with the move has come opportunities to spend Thanksgiving with my cousin Scottie and his wife Levaughn, my Aunt Nancy and my cousin Renee! I still have a few family and friends I have yet to catch up with down here, unbelievable as it sounds!  Janis, Patty and another Renee are on my list!

We have had company come down to stay with us that has been a wonderful opportunity to spend uninterrupted fun time. These trips are vacation trips for others that allow us time to share in their fun so as thankful as they are for free lodging and company we are just as grateful for the priceless moments and sharing of life’s moments!  Truly a treasure and we know, if not living in Florida, guests would not abound!  Everyone seems to love the beach and Disneyworld!

It has not been all fun and smiles. During this year, we have lost our most beloved family member, Charley. We had to say goodbye, in our home here. Watching him quickly deteriorate before our eyes was heart-breaking and the aftermath seemed as bad. We have his ashes in our room, reminders in our yard and home and speak of him still pretty regularly but with smiles once again.

We have seen an election come and ago that has been quite upsetting to us and troubling as we are both on Medicare and are starch Democrats living in a Republican county, for the most part. Being called Libtards and having family subtly support views that affect you directly and are in direct contrast to your Christian morality have been unsettling but seem to have drawn us closer and more prayerful at our church. We have been blessed to have priests that support all sides that show compassion towards people.

I never realized that Florida had so many beaches with such varied personalities? I suppose you have
to live here to truly see the magnitude of it but it is astounding! The parks are plentiful and several have much more than alligators lurking in murky areas including tropical birds walking around freely. Our community has three “mates “of sand cranes.  We still stop and stare whenever we see them, whether driving in a golf cart, walking or riding a bike as it is so odd for us to see large tropical birds walking down the street!

Experiencing tropical storms wasn’t all fun but we were aware this was an issue so were strategic in picking Zephyrhills knowing it was not close enough to the beaches to be affected as much. However, we had no idea, when mail came, people would misspell it so much, mispronounce it and an hour and 15 minutes to the beach in rush hour traffic down here equates to, whelp, it varies….not good!
Our home in Tennessee was hard to leave but as a friend, Tammy Ratliff said to me, before moving, only take with you the pieces you love to Florida. She suggested make your home look like the new chapter in your life, all new and Floridian. She was right, being frugal with money is easier in Florida and the new look suits us perfectly here.  Everyone that has seen our new ‘digs’ raves about the look. I am so proud of the outcome, honestly, as I went outside of my comfort zone and went for a totally new color scheme and peaceful easy feeling look that is Florida Tammy!  And the smaller size home doesn’t seem small actually once we were living here either. It is plenty for us and accommodates visitors great. Love the fact it is so much easier to keep clean and I got to competely redecorate with all new colors and new scheme!  The end result, well, I am quite proud and the compliments roll in for someone who is not known for being remotely close to Martha Stewart! 

Our community is full of fun things to do so in a nutshell, hot tubs, pool tables, pool (heated in the winter), new clubhouse that now has coffee bar inside, dance floor, library, newer restaurant opening
inside it in June, all sorts of clubs and activities, on and on….you can’t get bored unless you stay in bed. There are the bunch here into golf, as we sit on a golf course, hence Southport Golf Course Community, lol, but nope, we are not planning on taking it up!  With too many issues the entire time I have been here with both shoulders, not a chance!

Thomas Promise has become part of my non-profit passion, a program helping feed hungry children over the weekend in the county. I not only help pack several days a week, with Jim when he is free, but handle their Twitter account now opting to bypass Breast Cancer work for now. This seems a greater need here. I find it exhilarating and am meeting some wonderful people and making some great connections in local business and government.

Tampa is very cool. Busch Gardens is a regular for us as there are concert series two times a year for season ticket holders and we live only 20 minutes away.  We have seen so many sites in and around Florida but still have items added to our bucket list regularly.  Being close to cruise ship ports is an added benefit for last minute cruise deals, yes we love cruising!

Perhaps a video is in order with pictures of some of the moments we treasure.  The hardest part though has still been being further away from some we treasure and not being able to see the
grandkids on a whim.   We definitely feel detached from their lives but it was beginning to feel that way when we lived in Nashville already.  Many had encouraged us to leave the area and quit looking over our shoulders for more time when less was the norm as the kids got older and the parents busier. We realized, too, as we aged, we are less of a priority to our children that are left.   Jim’s son passed away, my daughter and I have no relationship and my son is immersed in his own life.   He and I had talked so he knew well in advance that we were considering moving and that I also respected the fact I was no longer needed in his life as much and that his schedule was super busy.

Learning which of you have stayed in touch has also been valuable indeed!  We will always find time in our lives for you and be there if you need us as you have been this past year for us during our   
transition.    Know that taking steps towards major change is possible, it’s hard but rewarding.  You will find bumps along the way but inner strength you never knew you had.  In some ways, I felt I left much of what I had behind. In hindsight, perhaps there wasn’t as much there as I thought and I have found more anew.  May you always find, with each new page of your life, you will discover that too!
                                                 Pictures of a Year in Review


Deciphering Dreams

An open window overlooking a balcony with sounds of the ocean waves crashing as you fall asleep; this is a peaceful evening sending you off to dreamland.  When you wake up, you have a smile on your face.  Many do not even remember trying to fall asleep much less their dreams. Unfortunately, there are those of that wake up from non-pleasant dreams!

Estimates of how many adults experience nightmares vary, depending on who you ask and most occur during the REM stage of sleep.  They can be quite troublesome as a bad dream lingers in your mind as you struggle to make sense of the bizarre in waking hours. In our subconscious, there are no impossibilities, no boundaries and not much makes sense.  Thus, the content of dreams is often bizarre in the light of day and appears nonsensical.

After taking a graduate level class on Dream Analysis at the urging of a Professor in college, I realized I had spent too much time on my own deciphering peripheral items.  This is the most common mistake in trying to understand your dreams. Our subconscious allows our creativity to go into overdrive! The brain has this capacity to come up with the wildest things.  But in understanding your dreams, it is sifting through the guise of white noise where you will find the true meaning.  And make no mistake, for individuals with a troubled life or with issues, it may take a trained therapist to work with much more than the dream analysis to get a reoccurent pattern to break if an issue in ‘real time’ isn’t being addressed.

Our class was required to keep journals. One of our tasks was to record any dream we remembered, each and every detail including any feelings we remembered, if in color, all colors, outlines, other persons, voices, etc..   We began to learn how to, not only understand ours but classmates, at least starter questions to begin the process of deciphering dreams.  Note: in our class it was not only negative dreams, it was also positive experiences.  The interaction with other’s dreams was indeed helpful   because we are often more objective and less protective looking at others dreams than we are at ours.

Good starter questions to stimulate thought around a dream are:
  • ·         How did you feel when this happened? Is this something you are feeling now in your waking hours?
  • ·         Who are the people in your dreams? Are they currently in your life and what relationship do they have with you?  What feelings does it create in you to interact with them?
  • ·          Has anything even remotely happened to you like this before? If so, what was it? Can you draw any parallels?
  • ·         Do any of the surroundings or items in your dream remind you of anything or anyone in your present life or past? Did you have closure with them or is there some unresolved issue hanging in the air?
  • ·         Is your creativity much wider in your dreams than in reality?  Why do you think that is? 

There are millions of questions you can ask but start with the most basic.

Nightmares, a negative dream is more common with adults than one would think.  Persistent issues can cause many a sleepless nights.  Adults can also have night terrors, similar to children. This is especially true of those with PTSD where the nightmare progresses to the point where it can involve screaming, kicking and make the individual need to be shaken to be physically woken up from a sleep stage.  PTSD can also occur at any age, bringing on these nightmare episodes, depending on anyone’s individual perception of stress and bizarre incidents in life. Everyone processes events in life differently so PTSD is not a diagnosis solely for veterans and abuse victims. E.g. a woman woke up during surgery but could not speak so was awake during the extensive surgery in Minnesota 5 years ago. She is currently in treatment for PTSD and has night terrors reliving this experience.

Bedtime for adults should be as it is for children, a routine of peace and calm. As I write this I think of all those young parents out there that as soon as they get a chance, literally fly like Superman and Wonderwoman into their bed!  But if you suffer from lack of sleep from nightmares or night terrors, know that this single step can be a life changer.

Switch sides of the bed, upgrade your pillow, put a diffuser in your bedroom with a favorite scent, spray your sheets before you slip in, read a magazine in bed before you turn off the lights but add in something new! A good night’s sleep is priceless and when you are tired you are more likely to not sleep well, thus be more restless with more negative thoughts through your sleep cycle.

And remember, a dark thought during the day creates dark dreams. Work on positive thoughts of life and you during the day so you go to bed with a smile, sleep that way and wake up ready  to spread some joy!