Live that Dream

Hearing from a dear friend was a great reminder of the challenges so many face of trying to hit what seems to be impossible goals. Living day to day, it sometimes seems easy just to be status quo and forget about reaching beyond. When you have a friend with dreams, be supportive of their desire to pursue their goals.

So many feel defeated by past experiences and as if there is nowhere to go but spiral downward or simply exist. Reality is, so many can continue on their journey, no matter what their age is or obstacles, if they have the drive. Be a person that gives them the added support and push.

I remember years ago, as a non-traditional student in college feeling, at first, out of sorts. I was so aware of being older than the traditional aged student, 18-22 year olds. I was an aging 28 year old mother of two.  Within the first two weeks, I saw several quite older folks walking on campus, I simply assumed they were professors as quite a few I had were old. Note, age of old is all relative to my own age now, at any point in my life! 

About the third week in college, while waiting outside a classroom for a class to start, I found myself in the hallway and one of those older persons approached me. Wow, I thought, a professor is going to talk to me outside of class. Maybe I can get some brownie points when I take his class when he finds out how personable I am!  I found out he was giving me tips on my current class. He had taken the same class I was waiting to begin the previous semester! He was a student! When he walked away, several colleagues next to me told me he was a  cool dude!  Learning and seeing firsthand a man who had retired tackling a college education stuck with me for years.

Working at a figure salon later on, I saw women who had battled weight loss their entire life. Being labeled fat and called out the various names these women deal with daily has to be disheartening. So much of society judges us by how we look. Some people never get past that.  I have held hands and hugged women as they cried over their weight which, to them, seemed impossible to overcome. With some, it is impossible for various reasons. Meeting women who set realistic goals and set about changing their own paradigm in life about eating and coping to combat weight issues was so admirable. If you run into someone dealing with this issue, recognize the demons go far beyond simply the numbers on the scale. The stigma from society and the coping mechanisms have been in place, usually for a very long time. That is much harder to break than counting calories. Positivity and patience with their short-comings goes a long way. They will break, be there for them when they do, not just when things go well.

I once had mandatory reading as a Director of a book called The Dream Manager by Matthew Kelley. It focuses on not only reinforcing the dreams of employees but mapping out plans on how to make them happen. If an employer can do that, we should all be able to lend a hand simply in ways that we can, be it by listening, advising or giving resources to those trying to make things happen to better themselves or achieve the impossible.

I believe for some of us, dreams have happened. For some of us, some dreams may never come true. But for millions, their dreams have not happened and can still be realized. To doubt the ability of someone’s wishes materializing is it to doubt the magic of the human spirit to preserve among amazing odds. So the next time you hear, I really want something from someone, tell them to fight hard and they can and will make it happen!

Dream songs Dream Weaver    I Like Dreaming    Dreaming of You

Norman Rockwell Doesn't Exist for Many

Norman Rockwell pictures always seem to depict the perfect Christmas.  I wonder how many families in America actually have a nuclear family, children living with their biological parents. With a divorce rate of 50% or more, half of the homes do not.  That means, Christmas trees are surrounded with children with one parent and a step-parent or a single parent sharing both duties.

It is hard to see and hear about huge families all gathered sharing memories year after year and not have those traditions within your own family.  But having

others take the time to include those less fortunate in your Christmas is really

what the season is all about. The three wise men traveled quite far to visit a newborn baby just to present him with presents.  Take the time to invite someone who might not have a family to spend the holidays with this season to your home, to your family celebration.

When I look back at the memories I have had with my children, pre-divorce, it was a great deal easier to celebrate. Not having to split children between two families on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day was less stressful.  For the children, having both parents present I am certain Christmas morning was more exciting than having one parent there.  

Luckily my ex coordinated gift-buying with me so we did not double up on gifts.  It still was a strain and meant, many holidays it was anything but ‘normal’ after the first several years.  There were step-parents to deal with, who never feel quite the same about the kids, more family get-togethers to go to which is not always fun when kids turn into teens. 

As my children turned to adults and had children, the clock seemed to turn back. I saw them return to babes again, sitting back and seeing reminders right before my eyes.  Grandchildren full of wonder at Christmas lights, ripping open presents when they were large enough to understand what to do with a gift, and fearing Santa but wanted to give him their wish list! 

But, much as I and many want that Norman Rockwell Christmas, your children have their lives too and sometimes you can’t be a part of it. And so, as it goes,

grab the holidays you get with them, and soak up those memories.  None of those moments will last forever. And reality is too many of us are really not a part of a Norman Rockwell picture family. Jesus wasn’t either and He is the origin of Christmas, the real celebration.

Friends are chosen family too.  Find your circle of love to

celebrate Christmas with and reminisce about past holiday celebrations.  Take what God has given you, embrace it and make the most of all you have.  Jesus was not one that lived His life wishing for more though he was quite poor. He lived with faith, showing all of us it is possible to live with few riches and yet feel blessed, and rich beyond measure if we live in the light of God’s goodness.   Video of some of my Christmas moments

Pet Me Friends

These past few weeks, it has been difficult to get my head around writing a blog.  I keep waiting for that divine intervention of an idea, that perfect topic to come up to expand on, one that touches my heart and soul. The only thought to write about that keeps reoccurring is one that sort of leaves me emotionally feeling paralyzed.  That immobilization scares me. It also makes it indeed a challenge to convey my thoughts in writing. 

I have reflecting, these past few weeks, on the plight of several close friends paths in life.  I have been haunted by a few unfortunate turn of events. A few friends have had things in life happen where it is as if they took an unexpected drop off of a cliff and managed to hang on a thin ledge.  They cling there, bewildered, yet full of faith.  All the while, they are questioning, where were the friends that said they would forewarn them before they got that close to the edge?  And I wonder to myself also, where were they?  Does true honesty in most friendships not exist?  Are people unwilling to share feedback if it is unfavorable?    Why do others not extend more help or ideas to do what they can to help friends succeed?  Do friends not feel, in any way, vested in their friends success?  I think we all know the answer to this. Safely guard and nurture the friends that do!!!

During this same time frame, a few other friends have had wonderful news occurring in their life.   They indeed have been blessed and are celebrating their good fortune, as they should.   I am overjoyed for them, yet saddened that life could not have met somewhere in the middle so that both friends could have had a moment of satisfaction. But life doesn't work that way. It is God’s plan, not ours.  And we all must face our dark moments to get to and appreciate the light. 

As I have silently and pensively reflected on this paradox at home, my mood has been somber.  My dog Charley can sense this easily. He feels my pain, always has.  And he feels certain the best way to help me overcome my sadness and confusion is to focus my attention on him.  That can simply be best done by petting him.  To accomplish this feat, he bothers me relentlessly by doing whatever must be done to get me to pet him. This must be quite hard on him because it entails doing actions he has long since given up, head butting me on the legs, trying to jump on my lap when I am sitting, barking at me, laying his head on my lap, etc.   He is particularly fond of making a U turn so that his rear-end is facing me so I can scratch his backside as if to say “Yes, life can be pretty smelly but you still have me.” 

 I know that things will turn around for my friends that are struggling right now and that life will make a U turn for them in the days ahead.   And those that are rejoicing, they had their moments of despair and have been justly rewarded for their struggles.   My friendship will always be steadfast for all of my dear friends.   And the friends that should matter to all of them, no matter where they reside in the journey of life, will be devout.  As one friend said recently, “It is when things aren't going well; you look around and realize who your true friends are.”  So true.

We are not in this world alone for a reason, it is definitely by design.  We need to help each other, or as Charley implies, pet each other.  So maybe my darn dog is reinforcing something critically important to me.  I am not so helpless after all in any of friends’ plights of life’s letdowns.  I am doing something.  Just being a reinforcement as a friend, an unconditional supporter, can make a huge difference.  You don’t need to put your rear in someone’s face to create a positive change, like Charley, but you can certainly nudge them and let them know you are there. 

I apologize but I must sign off now. Someone is weaving in and out of my legs, at the moment, all 105 lbs. of him.   He is letting his presence be known, much like that friend that knows you and is assured that you will always take their call when they are in need.  Well, this friend, though aggravating at times, and most assuredly getting dog hair on my pants, is taking precedence over anything at the moment.  And that, as I hope my blog has clearly stated, is what good friendships are about.  Figure out who yours are and give them prominence in your life, support them in all ways!  Charley is one of mine.............