Live that Dream

Hearing from a dear friend was a great reminder of the challenges so many face of trying to hit what seems to be impossible goals. Living day to day, it sometimes seems easy just to be status quo and forget about reaching beyond. When you have a friend with dreams, be supportive of their desire to pursue their goals.

So many feel defeated by past experiences and as if there is nowhere to go but spiral downward or simply exist. Reality is, so many can continue on their journey, no matter what their age is or obstacles, if they have the drive. Be a person that gives them the added support and push.

I remember years ago, as a non-traditional student in college feeling, at first, out of sorts. I was so aware of being older than the traditional aged student, 18-22 year olds. I was an aging 28 year old mother of two.  Within the first two weeks, I saw several quite older folks walking on campus, I simply assumed they were professors as quite a few I had were old. Note, age of old is all relative to my own age now, at any point in my life! 

About the third week in college, while waiting outside a classroom for a class to start, I found myself in the hallway and one of those older persons approached me. Wow, I thought, a professor is going to talk to me outside of class. Maybe I can get some brownie points when I take his class when he finds out how personable I am!  I found out he was giving me tips on my current class. He had taken the same class I was waiting to begin the previous semester! He was a student! When he walked away, several colleagues next to me told me he was a  cool dude!  Learning and seeing firsthand a man who had retired tackling a college education stuck with me for years.

Working at a figure salon later on, I saw women who had battled weight loss their entire life. Being labeled fat and called out the various names these women deal with daily has to be disheartening. So much of society judges us by how we look. Some people never get past that.  I have held hands and hugged women as they cried over their weight which, to them, seemed impossible to overcome. With some, it is impossible for various reasons. Meeting women who set realistic goals and set about changing their own paradigm in life about eating and coping to combat weight issues was so admirable. If you run into someone dealing with this issue, recognize the demons go far beyond simply the numbers on the scale. The stigma from society and the coping mechanisms have been in place, usually for a very long time. That is much harder to break than counting calories. Positivity and patience with their short-comings goes a long way. They will break, be there for them when they do, not just when things go well.

I once had mandatory reading as a Director of a book called The Dream Manager by Matthew Kelley. It focuses on not only reinforcing the dreams of employees but mapping out plans on how to make them happen. If an employer can do that, we should all be able to lend a hand simply in ways that we can, be it by listening, advising or giving resources to those trying to make things happen to better themselves or achieve the impossible.

I believe for some of us, dreams have happened. For some of us, some dreams may never come true. But for millions, their dreams have not happened and can still be realized. To doubt the ability of someone’s wishes materializing is it to doubt the magic of the human spirit to preserve among amazing odds. So the next time you hear, I really want something from someone, tell them to fight hard and they can and will make it happen!

Dream songs Dream Weaver    I Like Dreaming    Dreaming of You

Making Major Strides in Nashville!

Most of us are alone when we are told we have cancer. We are scared because we never envisioned hearing that word said to us. How do you prepare for being told you have breast cancer?  Where do you get a handbook on what to do if you are told this kind of information? If it existed, who would want to read it? It would feel like a death wish or a self-fulfilling prophesy of sorts.   Thus, it is one of the most isolating moments in your life.

Afterwards, you can be in a room full of caring friends and have moments when you feel alone, isolated, as if no one else truly understands how you feel.  This feeling, even while in treatment, while in surgery, recovery will come and go.  It varies from person to person but cancer is unique to each and every individual. But one thing remains constant, the day you are diagnosed, the moment, is never forgotten and at that slice in time, you are alone.  Your world is surrounded by only your own thoughts and feelings for a few moments in time while you try to absorb the enormity of what was just said.

Because of this, one of the most beautiful things about Making Strides Against Breast Cancer sponsored by the American Cancer Society (ACS) to me is the concept of togetherness. We are not alone. We are in this together.  Breast cancer, beating it, ultimately, is everyone’s responsibility. Yes, individually we need to take treatment and try to overcome our individual pathology case, the side effects, if a re-occurrence occurs, metastatic breast cancer, etc…  But the community at large has a responsibility to help prevent others from getting the diagnosis to begin with, continuing doing research to find better methods of prevention, easier treatment plans and cures so that women and men are not dying from this disease. 

Making Strides is the coming together of all types of people, young, old, various religions and walks of life just to support this one cause that affects so many lives, breast cancer. In a world full of hate and violence, to see a symbol of love and life in a sea of pink is precious.  To see children and men wearing a color that to a cancer survivor means I lived another day to wear pink reminds me I am not alone ever, I never was and never will be as long as I live.    

This Strides season began this summer with Montgomery Gentry starting a Band of Pink, a commitment to donate $1,000 and promote their loyalty to the cause. When Tory Gentry’s wife Angie got diagnosed with it, rather than let the news come out through the media, he broke the news to his fans himself.  Troy and Angie then decided to do something positive about the disease choosing this venue, Making Strides for Breast Cancer. They challenged others to hop on board the Pink Band and donate too. This added incentive made me particularly proud of be an integral part of the social media piece this year. I thought this year could be, potentially, a huge year for Nashville.  

At the event, there were over 35,000 registered walkers this year on Oct. 10^th.  We know that many

walkers simply showed up without registering so we are not sure of the exact count.  The donations at the close of the day totaled more than $900,000 but with October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month more donations are rolling in for teams and individuals to ACS the entire month of October so that number is rising.  But what is so different and so cool about the Strides event that some folks don’t get without knowing it inside out is there is little overhead.  

Making Strides budget doesn't allow for much money on promotion at all. That is perhaps why social

media is done often times by people like me, a volunteer, as in unpaid.  This way donors can be assured as much as possible the majority of donations  go to what is promoted.  There is not vendor booths held to have giveaways because that is not the focus of the Strides event for ACS. This is simply about Breast Cancer only. It is not a health fair, not a convention, not a buyers paradise, just exactly what it is called a show of support for Breast Cancer, a way to Make Strides towards the mission of obliterating breast cancer.  And it works, ask the 35,000 in attendance.

Walking with them all, standing in a sea of people, all smiling, none of us are alone in caring about breast cancer and the issues surrounding it. So remember, if you are ever faced with the diagnosis, the one moment in time you feel alone, it will pass and you will soon feel the love of us all, all of us that come in pink to the streets in October to Make Strides!    Video Link Here

To donate, visit makingstrideswalk.org/nashvilletn

For additional information about breast cancer or any form of cancer, visit ACS's website at cancer.org or call the 24/7 hotline# at 800-227-2345.

The Potential Significance of Silence

Is silence golden? Well, silence can be deafening when someone wants to speak of something that touched their life dearly and those around them do not want to listen.  If the universe intersects some people in a negative way, they would just as soon not hear the voices that need and should be heard. They would rather be shrouded in ignorance than know the truth.  This self-protection from that which is not pleasant but is someone else’s reality does more harm than good. It is a missed opportunity for growth and learning.

Everyone’s voice matters. Even those with a song that is full of sorrow deserves to be sung, deserves to be heard.  It should not fall on deaf ears; it should be listened to with compassion.  We are all called to be servants of God. Being a Christian, living in his likeness means opening ourselves up to some painful discussions now and then.

The disciplines had to be filled with grief at what they saw Jesus endure. They each had come to know him, one on one, and had some conviction he might be the chosen one.  Yet, his words were filled with not only hope but of justice. He urged others to care for their brothers.  This request involves being supportive of those in need, those hurting and those who need more than a passing glance. That, at times, could be painful and it was for the disciples.

It is unfathomable to speak of living a life of Christianity and following the Church by simply attending.  It is not enough to simply take care of your own immediate family’s needs in your home. No, God intended us to be gateways between him and others in many ways and not all ways are an easy path. Some involve sacrifice. Yet, those hurting in our country are met too quickly with condemnation for their misgivings, be it having committed a crime in their life, being abused, being disabled, or being chronically  or mentally ill. These conditions are often treated as if they are contagious.  Be wary of these folks for they will pass it on!

Steps are needed to show Christianity, not lines from the Bible nor dressing up every Sunday.  One should not speak of living a good life if that life does not involve helping others. What is good about a life that serves no one else? 

People in need deserve disciplines.  They deserve loved ones and friends that are there for them, that listen, that accept, care and respect their story.  Just because it has dips and bends along the way does not make it any less magnificent.  Listening is learning and to the other person it can be the ultimate healing.  

I suppose the end all question in this blog is are you able to be a healer?  Do you have the ability to love others unconditionally?  Can you allow others a voice to be heard without judgment on your part and gain respect for their experiences, though they are different than yours? 

Silence is not golden for a child of abuse. It is not calming either when you have been raped or no one believes you.  Someone chronically ill still needs to be heard; though their voice may be pained it still matters. And you listening has the power to help ease the pain.  Infact, listening can be one of the most uplifting things you can do for others. 

Thus, the silence resounds. It seems to be a prevailing attitude in society, even among families and friends.  People are ignored, not responded to and put by the wayside as if they are not worthy simply because their life is different. They choose to distance themselves from those with negative experiences in life and then, never have to concern themselves with being part of the solution. They are willing to accept the loss of growth because that growth will come with some pain, some tears, and some potential heartache.

Talking to several folks over the past several months has given me a great insight to others perceptions of silence.  I have seen tears, heard shouts and read profanity. All of this because of someone who endured or is enduring misfortune and the very people, family or friend they thought would be there is not. They became a non-priority. The loss of support is painful, sometimes as painful as the original issue at heart.

Know that your silence can hurt. In the worst case scenario, it can kill. You can walk away with no misgiving, no guilt, at least for the moment. But is there a price you pay, we all pay, for your silence?  Are you impeding the growth of those around you when they need you the most? Could the best lessons in life be learned through the very folks you are shutting out? I could make a case for yes, they are.  Your silence is deafening but by not listening, you are stunting your own growth.  And they, God willing, will continue to grow. 

Silence can be rigid and unforgiving and black instead of golden.  

Special thank you to a few recent friendships that had a great deal of input and influence in this blog.  You all know who you are! I am blessed to have you in my life. Those that choose to have you in theirs are as well.  Those that don't, I think we can all agree, this blog is reflective of them. 

The Necklace

A few years back, I met a very special lady. It was at my husband’s family reunion. We spoke briefly but I could sense the warmth in her eyes. She was on of those women you just know were born with a golden heart that has no limits. She continually lives to do unto others in ways that only she can. Her uniqueness of giving and her thoughtfulness with her words show her spirit.

She started writing me as soon as I was diagnosed with breast cancer in the fall of 2007. She wrote as if we were best friends. We have communicated religiously since that time. It did not matter what was going on in her life, including her dad’s health deteriorating, her house not selling, building a new house in a new state, health issues of her own, she was always there for me. Other friends have come and gone, finding my journey too long to stay the path with me.

It did not matter how well received her emails, notes and cards were, she kept writing them asking for nothing in return. She wrote words of inspiration, messages of sadness for my suffering, gifts of hope for my future and above all, she shared a deep abiding faith that good truly does come from evil, if we work thru it. Thus, her guidance was one of those lights that shined so brightly in my darkest days reminding me that I can and will be a survivor.

I am now approaching my last infusion and lo and behold, I get a package in the mail. Just like all the others, no fanfare, no notes telling me it is coming. I open it, like all the others, with wonder on what inspiration this one is and inside is a little box with an inscription on a necklace.

“Just when the caterpillar thought that the world was over, it became a butterfly.” (Author unknown)


Yes, indeed I am blessed because she is a living breathing butterfly to me.