A Mess? Bark Yes!

Each day begins with me hearing a four legged friend next to me making noises in the morning.  It looked like a puppy that popped in the cage at night to get her milk bone but

what I see now is a contortionist! The sounds are that of the cage as she repositions herself moving her four legs in the oddest twisted positions, never looking remotely like the images of dogs seen curled up like a bug in a rug. Even outside the cage, she does this. Thus, my day begins with the sound of the cell rattling as if Tess is imprisoned. She seems the only one in the bedroom unbothered by the noise, as she rattles it with her four paws.

When I realize, after about 15 minutes into the rattling each morning, Tessie is into her stretchy phase of the morning festivities, I prepare myself to get up. She looks no different than her sleeping state in her cage now really, except her face is more into the contortions she does with her legs; she seemly meekly looks over and quickly it becomes a much more intense stare.. What is it about a dog staring at you that burns through you as if someone is continually poking you until you respond?  The power of a stare, wow, even pets have it innately! And we apparently are trained by them to respond.

Tess has grown over the last 18 months of her life into a slim but nice size labradoodle for me. After having a 125 lb. lab, a 55 lb. dog is sure a treat!  However, the pull on the lead can feel as strong as the smaller the dog, she seems to be able to get more traction at times. This is especially true when her two favorite things to go after are in sight, bunnies or geckos.  My husband and I try everything to get her distracted and if that won’t work, the commands start coming right and left before the dreaded “No Tessie” has to be stated, repeatedly. To date, no deaths!

It seems the minute I step out the door with her, someone is coming by in a golf cart. She is well-trained to sit when cars and carts go by. However, if someone wants to stop to see her, or as she feels, admire her, all bets are off. Then it begins a match between her wants and mine. She wants to levy out kisses and jump which is not allowed. We paid too much for training to have a disobedient dog. Too bad Tess doesn’t always subscribe to that line of thinking. She will push the limits when new people are near her, so eager to give out love. She desperately wants everyone to like her also. Perhaps she has self-esteem issues because she is kinda ugly. Oh shoot, her vet says the poodle part of her is very sensitive to comments about her looks and that I must tell her she is very pretty, regularly. I must say I am lax in that department. Who wants a dog with a big head?  

I kind of get Tessie, in a strange way. Her appearance is confusing making her probably a very confused individual who needs a lot of reassurance. She is a labradoodle but her DNA got crisscrossed and she is just plain unusual looking like God couldn’t make up which color to make her. Thus, she is like no other I’ve or many have seen.

Tessie’s mother was a chocolate brown and her father was a black poodle, Tessie is neither of these colors. What I see looking up at me is a continual changing mish-mash of white,

gray and shades of both, a variegated whatever is the best way to describe her, kind-of like the Muppet   from Sesame Street. Her tail is the exception, clearly black, been that way from day one and stayed that way.  Perhaps it was the one way of letting us know she was going to be just like her dad named Buddy, a gregarious large doggie, full of personality!  Tess’s hair is a mess   so more often than not I say “Tess, you are a mess” because when she is brushed, well she looks no different.

Speaking of different, when Tessie boards with her trainer, she is so good they can use her as a demonstration dog. Yep, the same dog I am talking about issues on the lead with jumping (and in the house with company, sometimes, as in totally unpredictable) they have a well-oiled machine!) They hand her back to us saying, if you have a problem, you are the problem.

Actually, in most all ways, we are good with her too. And she is a good dog. Issues many other pet owners have we don’t and we thank Tessie regularly when we hear of them.  No accidents, no destroying things in our house, no horrible separation anxiety or not obeying

house rules we have established e.g. certain furniture she can’t sit on. We even leave her in the house extended periods of time out of the cage all the time and come home to nothing out of place. The extent of her damage is eating paper out of the garbage. What is it about the taste of paper with her?  And she bugs me for feeding her my watermelon and yogurt. But I started the bad trend by feeding it to her in the first place. Wednesday night has become $1.00 ice cream cone night for not just us but cone night for Tess; she lucks out because I don’t like the cones! Technically, those are bad habits I suppose but every dog must have some bad vices. 

Tessie can be your best friend when you just want someone to snuggle with and other times, she prefers her space and prefers being left alone. Then, I have to entice her with a treat to even come up and sit with me on the bed.  There is one chair in the living room she has been trained she can sit on laps. She will literally fly through the air across the room to jump on the lap to plop on!  No warming just flying mass of a blur of silver, gray, off white and there is Tess in your lap. In a split decision, she’ll decide if your face or ears are dirty, and it will be hell to pay to get her to stop!

And yet, when she is done with the licking, with me, she curls up in my arms, and lays her head down. I feel I have a precious gift, and feel blessed. Many times, she literally falls asleep like this, in my arms, like a small dog. I hate to get up to disturb her. I want the moment to last awhile just like I felt when my kids had early morning feedings as newborns.  Except, it feels like a dead weight, but I bear it because it’s her, it’s Tessie and at the end of the day, I love her, mess and all!  She’s a mess but, hey, so am I so are we all. And yep, I love you Messy Tessie

Puppy Furr-stration

I said I would never get a dog again. And then I did. I had a lab and said I would never get a lab again. Mine could never be replaced. So I got a lab mix, a labradoodle. Charley, I said was the worst dog ever. Then came Tessie. I was wrong about Charley. And so the story goes.

I see many blogs in my future about Tess, the mess. She is a girl or I would rename her the Tramp from Lady and the Tramp because not only is her color close to his but her hair looks similar, messy  and, if she had a voice, that smart ass personality would be present also.   Heck, I swear she even rolls her eyes at me when she gets exasperated  like when my kids were teens and I was giving the safe sex talk and told them the best way to avoid it is just don’t do it! Maybe Tessie senses I think she is a hussy and we are having a female power struggle in our house.

And speaking of power struggle, I thought the humans were supposed to be in control? I just told her today, I miss Charley. That is my lovely lab that was so devoted to me. You know her response, yea I bet you do. The dog that seldom barks barked at me as if to say, “Tough beans, you are stuck with me, suck it up!”  Instead of being my girl, it is like that song Jessie’s girl and I am Tessie’s girl! She thinks she is the master over me.  Is it too late, at 7 months, to take her back? I looked at her today and found two can play that game then and I barked back at her and she ran for cover!

Speaking of cover, my escape route is the shower, peace!  We have one of those wonderful large walk in showers with a super cool shower head with it that puts out a mist like you are standing in the rain.  Apparently the only time Tess likes the rain is inside, in that damn shower.  And I like my showers alone, at least not with the smell of a wet dog if you get my drift. 

Today, as I am preparing for my shower, I neglected to close the shower doors completely, leaving one up a smidgeon.  As I walk back into the bathroom, standing in where I should have been in just a few moments is Tessie, breathing in the nice warm steam.  I stand outside the door realizing she had, once again, taken her head and bumped the door open and now had her face was upwards soaking up the mist like she was Queen of the House. Daddy was gone and so Tessie’s girl could simply wait till she was done.

Oh hell no is what I said audibly!  And with that, she hustled to the back of the shower out of reach. So we played that game for a few moments until she made

a mad dash out of the shower before I could catch her. By now, being full soaked smelling like a wet dog, she made a b-line for my bed. Then, to compound my frustration, she quickly rolled on the bedspread to dry off before I could grab a towel. Oh, to have Charley back and have a puppy that cared about being in the good graces of mommy!

For some reason, the bathroom is a pitfall for Tessie. The garbage man comes two times a week but in our bathroom it is cleaned out daily.  Our darn trash can is motion activated and Tess has learned how to use her snout to pop the lid, bury her head down deep and seize the contents and tear out of there with them firmly in her grip.  This pup loves eating tissue and paper! I am seriously thinking about writing the manufacturer Ninestars and suggest they put on their label Motion Activated by Hand or Dog Snout.

We always have one particular paper in our house, our community newsletter. Perhaps partially because I write at least one article in it a month, I have to read it. Yes, there is some vanity there.  This month Tessie heard me read it aloud and hated the piece. She ripped it to shreds; get this, not the entire newsletter, just the page my article appeared on.  I am calling her now tear-er instead of terror! 

She has been trained. But I apparently haven’t been. We are both taking refreshers later this month. In the meantime I thought the Dog Whisper might

be a good thing to watch till our lessons. Anyways, Tessie loves watching television in the bedroom at night from the bed where she can see it well. So I taped several episodes. These shows, it is pretty easy to tell it is a dog show by the noises of the dogs on the show.  However, it seems to be the only show Tess is not in the least interested in. I think, honestly, it is because she realizes the dogs are not the master. She is much smarter than the Dog Whisperer. He really needs to come to her house. Note, I said her house, not mine!

About the time I think the breeder needs to take her back and someone offers to take her because they think she is so darn cute, she hops on my lap trying to make up to me.  There is something in me that suckers up to her when she lays her head on my chest and plants those little kisses on me.  I do love how when we play hide and seek, she can always find me and just seems so overjoyed at the sight of me and makes me feel so loved and appreciated. And then her tail wags and I know the bond we have has continued to grow. And I can’t help myself and realize the puppy I brought home is staying here till the day she grows her wings.

But I won’t stop poking fun at her till the day she stops doing it to me!

Tessie Tests Us

As I sit here, wetter than the dog, I wonder why I didn’t jump in and lather up with doggie wash. Or

is it called doggie shampoo since she is hairy all over?  Man, can my dog splash in the tub! And I thought the grandkids were like whales in the shallow end of the pool in the bathtub, Tessie has them beat by a mile!  Puppy adventures are extraordinary and so easily forgotten or nobody would ever get one again!

I looked at puppy, wet down, minus her labradoodle curls and she was a skinny runt with long legs, barely recognizable. I had to admit, she was comical. I thought about taking a picture but stopped myself knowing it would be downright embarrassing to her for others to see looking so goofy.  How pitiful does Tess look wet!  Quickly I got her out of there, well actually twice she half jumped out and I not very politely shoved her head and shoulders back in there.

Next was the trip to the bathroom with the cool air from the blow dryer to aid with drying her. Never

having been graced with curly hair, whew, what a surprise was that. Earlier today I did my first mini trim job on her, taking off just a bit of her hair. That bit I cut off must have been enough to make it spring back into action. Blow drying it after the bath, her hair was like a slinky being put up for the day!  Bouncing but not behaving!  She was a sea of poodle curls and not loving the air coming at her. Her mouth was wide open showing me her new teeth coming in as she tried to bite air. Oh great, I am sure to be treated to gas later tonight, compliments of Tessie!

Due to what the trainer calls’ “counter-serving” Tessie is now going away to Camp. Maybe we should call it school for the delinquent or strong willed child.  We called who our vet recommended “Sit Means Sit.”  And then they found out she knows the command sit but her sit is short-lived, like most everything because her attention span lasts about .yeah, that long, a period at the end of a sentence.

Counter serving, by the way, is the dog that has incredibly long legs and can reach up to the top of the counter. Tessie likes to see what is going on there that has my attention. Also, it is imperative she find out if there is anything available to steal, chew or just look at.  If she doesn’t see anything of interest in front of her, she just moves along down the counter with her feet on the ground and her paws sliding down the counter.  Yeah, others think it is cute, funny or whatever. To us, it is aggravating and to the trainers, it is a definite no-no, right up there with the jumping on everyone.

So after spending some time with our little gem, the trainer and I were in agreement, a simple few training lessons is never going to be enough for Miss High-Energy Low on Attention Span Puppy

especially given her breed. Heck, this great trainer had a horrendous time getting even eye contact with Tessie. I think Tess sensed she was going to make her mind and thought, “the hell with this lady.”  So, Tessie will be boarding with them for 10 days and come back a changed lady instead of the Tramp. Get it, from the Disney move…..

She gets walked daily by the driving range. Lucky for her, several golfers in our community are bad hitters and balls land way off the range on the walking paths. Those balls get spotted by Tessie and thus dog walks consistently include a game of chase the ball. This is great fun and wears her little butt out so it has an added bonus.  It is hysterical to watch her overrun the ball, try to apply her brakes which are her legs too long currently for her body.  She lands up splattered on the ground like a deer on ice!  She looks up with you with her raccoon mask like “What the hell just happened?”

I have to say a real shocker is how much Tessie loves car rides. Never have I had a dog that enjoyed the car. With her, there is no drama, no panting, crying, barking or pacing. She simply sits in the back seat and occasionally looks out to see who is out there and possibly if any good looking dogs are tailing us. 

I still have bite marks, as soon as some heal, new ones form. Oh yes, she gets reprimanded, toys given to distract her but in time, that doesn’t work either. This puppy is high energy and smart.  She is learning right along with us, what works and what doesn’t.  And then there are the times, though rare, when she is the sweetest loving thing in the world.   But all in all, I think we’ll keep her! 

Testy Tessie

And so it goes, my luck with dogs, I get the puppy that is one of the largest in the litter, untold till I

bring her home. Two days later, I get a text from the owners letting me know my test to see if female

Tess & me

dogs are really more gentle-natured is really more of a lively Brut compared to her 6 brothers in the litter of 7. Thus, begins the life with Tessie, testing my patience.

Okay, I admit I forgot the trials and tribulations of potty-training. My kids were much easier and so were ALL other dogs I owned. This little bitch is a challenge. She is smart being a labradoodle the poodle seems to be quite dominate making her extremely intelligent.  Thus her norm is outside is playtime, inside is peetime. And thank God the vet suggested giving her treats as a reward for going to the bathroom outdoors. However now she seems to think going anywhere is worthy of a treat. Who is smarter, her or me? 

Everything in the house is a play toy, except the doggie items I bought in the rip-off section of the store! You know the section, where the sign says Pet Toys and are simply kids toys made small with baby squeezers in them the size of your thumb but inflated prices by 75%.  Today, Tess discovered toilet paper. So glad I buy it bulk at Sams because it is going to have to still remain in reach of the john inspite of her penchant for unrolling it. Oh, don’t tell me our puppy is not talented. She can unroll it in a mere 30 seconds flat!

So Busted!
Better than doggie toys! 

Do you know what it is like to take a shower with a small puppy with long legs at your feet?  I do.  The only time Tessie does not mind being in the water is when I am taking a shower. The very minute I hop in the shower to take the quickest showers in my life she begins whimpering like she has been attacked by another dog, right there in the bathroom!  As she cries by the glass doors, scratching “Mommy I want in” I relent and let her in.

Thus begins my, what use to be, chill serene showers, long gone, now invaded by a four legged animal weaving figure-eights around my feet. Once she gets done feeling as if she is tangled and me being cautious of not losing my balance, she does the unthinkable at my feet. I blink and there comes the squat. I watch as she proudly does #1 and thank God it is not #2. And nope, no treat this time for Tessie.

Tessie now wants out. She has her bladder unloaded and has had enough! Out goes the wet mangled puppy looking like a black rat. All I see is too beady eyes looking back at me silently saying dry me

off. I look back with mine saying Hell no, I am not getting out right now when I have a moment’s peace and the shower finally is to myself. You can wait, you black rat!  She retreats to the rug to wait patiently knowing sometimes I win the battle.

After showers, I dry her off.  I then head to the backdoor to grab her leash to take her out. Good routine, because it’s all about catching the time for #2. I want that number always done in its proper place, I mean this dog will be a lady! One day, as I am putting the leash on, struggling to find the darn loop, she starts tooting. Okay, I tell her, I am hurrying. Her squirming is not making it any easier. Whodathought more would come with the toot?  Isn't she a female?  

Right there on the floor, thank God not the carpet, she starts dumping a load! I am shocked beyond belief, I am holding her and she starts her business. For the love of God, what puppy does this?  I swear she is simply being defiant to me. I make a mad dash out the door as if she has anymore left in her little butt!  By the time I put her down in the grass, she is hopping all over the place, literally giddy with laughter at what she left me to clean up inside.  Don't dare make excuses for her because she is cute or a puppy, she does this shit on purpose to punish me for being a disciplinary in the house.  We played outside longer than usual so I could put off cleaning up dirty diapers, I mean poopy floors! 

The Spoiler, Daddy! 

As my friends tell me, puppies need routine, they need structure. And just like with my kids, I am the one that does it. And just like with my children, she rebels. She does to her daddy, Mr. Softie.  Can we just say, with puppies rebelling  and everyone telling you she is so sweet you are left speechless?  Why do people so easily forget what little teeth feel like buried in your feet and how many chords lay on the floor? 

Well, in all seriousness, she is a bundle of life, with its ups, downs, full of laughter, frustration and happiness and love. She fills a void in my life that my dog Charley left and still is there. I love her already  inspite of her testing me, at times to the limit. And truth be told, if she could talk, she would say I test her!

Mr. Personality

When we walk in the door we are always met with smiles. Everyone is laughing and a commotion ensues. Someone from the front desk usually comes from behind to greet us so friendly and gets an exuberant welcome back. Yes, Charley our lab is back for a stay at the Kennel, or, as my husband calls it ‘Doggie Camp’.

When it happened or how it happened, I still don’t understand. Even back in the days when I hated our dog Charley, this place fell in love with him. Yes, this is the same dog you have heard me talk about over the years who was kicked out of one dog training class, couldn’t attend several kennels for various reasons and learned all the training lessons except when it came time to take the test refused to do some of the tasks on command. I, incidentally, gave up taking him when the instructor reprimanded both Charley and me numerous times, telling us both excessive rear-end sniffing in dog classes is distracting, poor obedience on Charley’s part  and lack of good leadership on mine. So I threw the Cheerio treats to my husband and relinquished the leash to his other master after the 3^rd insult.  I think Charley wanted to retreat to the sidelines with me! 

After the first or second visit, it became a ritual that every time a call was placed to kennel our pet that was always beloved by my husband and early on, hated by me, the kennel was ecstatic Charley was coming back to stay at this, our favorite and only place we put in.  Apparently his trainers found his challenging ways fun. Why a large 125 lb. of energy, lack of coordination and slobber is hilarious, at that time, I didn’t quite get it. I wanted a small lab, perfectly obedient and docile in nature. What I got was a Marley reborn in our otherwise calm sedate house. 

As he grew, his reaction to “doggie camp’ became as notorious as theirs. However, he did lose his group play time. Apparently he liked the King of the Mountain mentality thus, began humping everything in sight. In this case, that meant every dog. In safety for the other dogs and partially him, solo play became mandatory and our fixed dog was resigned to play only with a trainer alone. To this day, I think he planned it this way. He had a human, which he has always felt he was half human anyways, to himself. Undivided play time and pet time to himself for 20 glorious minutes as many times a day as we were willing to pay.

Charley’s report cards have consistently come back with glowing comments. He usually eats well, has received A to A+ in personality and poops well. That later part is no surprise as poop duty is the dread duty at our house.  His trainers always seem to hate to see him go however we would happily leave him an extra day or two at no charge if they would like to just hang out with him for a bit longer.  Nah, we would miss the big guy. 

I always use to wonder why, when we picked him up, he seemed annoyed. Often times, he would run right past whichever one of us picked him up as if he didn’t know us or ignore us. We have figured it out, over time. He truly loves it there; it is nice break from us, just like a vacation is to us. Not that we don’t give him plenty of loving and attention but dogs too like distractions.  And he appears to be loved on there, played with, fed well, gets plenty of treats, and has his dog bed, the doggie channel and his own suite, a full size cell.

When I call to make a reservation, there are several different packages to choose from, depending on how many playtime the dog is to have, late night pee breaks, treats, etc.  For Charley, they always want me to get the max so that his trainer can get the added play time with him.  I try to avoid the added expense but when I get there, they always remind me how much he is loved on and loves to play. In fact, there are times I haven’t paid for it and have been told they took him out anyways. These people are nuts about this clumsy galoot of a dog!  

This last time, over Christmas, seemed to be the hardest time of all for us to leave our Charley. We were going to New York. Charley has been having a series of strokes, his last one being the largest. We know his time is starting to waver. We worry about how much time he has left. 

As we walked in, once again we were greeted by a trainer and this time, without even switching leads, they took him from my husband and pulled him behind the large reception counter. We had not gotten a chance to say good-bye. As we stood there, after signing him in, we saw our dog, happy as can be, with everyone behind the counter fawning all over him and him lapping it up. As we looked at each other, we realized we were best to walk out and leave our dog in the loving care of a kennel that truly cares for him and feel blessed he would be there when we returned. And he was as the picture below shows, with once, again, glowing remarks and ticked off that we picked him up!   

Click Here for a short video on Charley Images