Obsession Confession of Tessie

Puppy Tessie

     There is a little thing that’s round with lines on it, commonly used in a game with a net across a court, a tennis ball. In our home, it is known as Tessie’s toy. I think I need to be more accurate, the tennis ball is Tessie our labradoodle’s obsession!

          It started one day with a walk in the park.  We saw someone throwing a tennis ball at their dog and

Game-Face

the pet retrieving it. We took Tessie home and went down to the area in our community and threw a few to her. Instinctively she knew exactly what to do. And to our surprise, she did not want to stop. In fact, when we tried to, she cried.

     Since that day, she has a love for those balls that is beyond comprehension.  If other dogs are out, she ignores them. Her single focus is “the ball.” She is anxiously waiting for “the throw” and that is her single concern, she could care less about the other four legged critters in the area. 

     If another dog attempts to play ball with her, she is what is known as a ball hog! Yes, she rudely cuts in front of everyone, outruns dogs, sometimes literally running into them to retrieve the ball.  She is hell-bent on a mission and stops at nothing from capturing it in her mouth. She jumps, squats, flips, dives with and without grace all to capture that round bouncing ball. She then proudly runs it back with her prancey dancey gait back to you to throw it again!

     If a human being is in the vicinity, they are ignored also. Their role in her life, when outside and a tennis ball is in view is simply to throw it.  If you are do not she has no use for you in her life. She runs for the balls until her mouth is drooping, her tongue is hanging out and she looks like she is on her last leg. We have to make her stop!

     The tennis balls are in the drink cups of our golf cart. If we take Tessie on a ride in the cart, she picks up a ball and carries it in her mouth for the entire ride. She looks to the right and to the left checking out the scenery. She sits up and down admiring the yards but through it all, the ball is firmly in her mouth and she refuses to lose her grip on it no matter how long we are riding.

Notice the tennis ball on the couch?

     Within our home, because we forget that she has them in our mouth, she sneaks in with the balls.  Thus, tennis balls have been found in virtually every room in the house.  It is nothing to walk into the bathroom and find a tennis ball in the middle of the floor or see one sitting on the window sill in the living room as if it was placed there as part of the décor.

     She has garnered a reputation as the 

Tennis Ball Queen.   Those on our side of our community where we live know her well, and her 

passion. Thereby, when they see tennis balls out, as they tell us with laughter in their voices, they know Tessie has been there. The balls have become her 'calling card'. Yes, even Tessie, from time to time slips up and leaves a beloved tennis ball behind.

     Never have we ever known a dog more obsessed with playing with a ball. She brings them to you and cries and whines to play. She carries them in her mouth in the house. So if they ever stop making tennis balls, we will be in a heap of trouble and have one unhappy dog! And very unhappy owners!

Oh My God, Visitors!!!

I keep waiting for Tessie to slow down, become less exuberant when someone new comes to the door. She is two, how much longer must I wait???

The average day: We wake up to a beautiful day with our wonderful loving pet/child wagging her tail.  Thus begins a new day and she is content, stretching and yawning much as a person rolling out of bed as she steps out of her kennel/crate. 

As the morning progresses, sweet Tess curls up in the lanai on a lazy boy

 chair to take in the outside noises as the windows are propped open, perhaps just for her? She sits silently for hours watching the grass blow and has become an avid Bird Watcher!  Occasionally she will step inside to see what is amiss in the house, with her mom and pops. 

There is that occasional switch to another window in the house for an alternative view of the world.  Notably the front window is a great resting place, where golf carts drive by in full view.

Lo and behold, someone comes to the door…..the world is on edge, Tessie’s world that is!  All hell breaks loose as her bark begins in earnest to announce “Intruders are present and accounted for!”  Even after being assured all is well with us, she continues to breathe heavy, pace and becomes a beast lurching at the door with her front paws.

At these times, a small 10 lb. mutt seems like a slice of heaven compared to a 55 lb. ball of hairy muscle and confusion frantically trying to save the world! Tessie the beast is arisen. Our once gentle passive docile pet is so high-strung it affects both us and our visitors for a moment. 

As we are yelling “Place” her command to return to her safe zone, that being a raised mat she has been trained to go on, we somewhat laugh.  We are not supposed to be giving commands in raised voices but above the thrashing of her body we cannot be heard talking in a normal tone.  Tessie places then pops off. We give the command, then back she goes,,, then off she comes. Usually after two times, Tess is there to stay until given a command to come off.

When our precious ball of fur is released, we go through Round Two. The humor comes into play when we try to explain she is normally very calm-natured.  I believe company brings out the hellion in her and we see a far different side of Tessie than the one out in the lanai that ignores us most of the day. 

So, as she ages, the question remains, will this lovable pup soon learn that visitors are not intruders?  Is Tessie going to back off her demands for attention from every single person that graces her with a visit to her ‘dog cave’? Will she learn that people do not like tongues that have licked other parts of her body on them? And lastly, what is the time-frame that Tessie will quit acting like a dog?

Doodling on a Labradoodle

The most frustrating part about owning a labradoodle is the grooming if you do it yourself!  Whew, their hair grows fast and unlike other breeds, it is like humans and keeps growing so must be cut every 4 to 6 weeks.  The hair gnats up easily and it doesn’t help that they are a dog so run around, roll, and scratch causing even more pile ups in their hair! To groom a doodle is anything but oodles of fun!

I have tried almost all products known to man to make my life, and hers, easier as I do the grooming myself. This list includes human detangler sprays which I find do little more than put a nice odor on the top of her coat for about 15 minutes max. Spraying it means I am how detangling wet hair as opposed to dry hair and thereby pulling out even more hair than if it is in its natural state.

The grooming becomes a challenge between Tessie and me. Her patience starts off excellent and then falls sub-par 2/3s

Tessie 

through. At that point, I am the enemy and she makes my pampering experience for her intolerable by moving constantly, pawing me, turning this way and that, trying to escape or the dreaded “kissing me.” This is not advisable when I have sharp scissors or a trimmer in my hands! She thinks it will aid in ending the whole process.

Brushing regularly is a must with this breed. Every few days it should be done, minimum of once a week a very thorough brush out. Remember, the more frequent you groom, the less rustration. Our vet recommends daily!

When you complete grooming, outwardly your dog looks no different to the viewing eye. You will be the only one that will know they were detangled, brushed and sometimes even trimmed! With hair that has a mind of its own, even after being groomed, they may appear no different. Labradoodles always look fluffed up and somewhat messy. And as soon as your pup scratches, there is potentially another knot up in their fur!

Well, if I had another labradoodle and had to maintain it like her, I would simply say “Shoot me now, less painful!”  All this work to ensure she is well maintained and to save money.  But wow, increased blood pressure with the stress.  I am always shocked when someone comments on her grooming because I am so far from an expert that it is funny anyone thinks she looks great when she is my Guinea pig for trimming. I literally watched YouTube videos to try to devise a strategy!

Nowhere does it mention on the videos hair gnats clog up your trimmer! Nor does it mention a wiggly dog while you are trying to get angled cuts that look professionally done around the ears.  Oh they are quite a bit of help but so much is learned through trial and error. Note:  There are no pictures to be found of the errors. I try to forget them. When she comes out beautifully, I try to not look shocked and say “All in a day’s work.” In reality, it feels more like luck is involved to some extent.

I love this breed, labradoodles, but, I hate the grooming. I think it’s important to take the time to tell 'would-be owners' either invest in a great groomer or do it regularly yourself, preparing yourself not to be pampered or pampering your pup.  The spa day treatment is a misnomer! It is hard work. What you will end up with is a dog that has the look “Who wouldn’t love me?!” 

Birthday Puppy

My husband says everyone loves babies and puppy dogs.  I think he’s right. What a shame they grow up to be dogs and teenagers and can learn to talk back or rather, bark back! Often I have heard that at two years, dogs quit being puppies.  Kinda odd how people throw out definitive timelines like that.  Do you know you are ineligible for the Newlywed Game after 2 years?  Yeah, like everything is figured out by then and you know everything about the other person already!  People are not like dogs, they surprise you more. Dogs are there for you when the rest of the world is too busy with stuff.

My puppy turns two this month. Minus the first 8 weeks she was with the breeder, all that time she has been with us.  And it has been a whirlwind of fun and love for the most part. Of all the dogs I have owned, this is easily the best one, behavior-wise and listens the best. Oh, that does not mean all the time or she wouldn’t be a dog now would she?

As she celebrates in a few days turning 2, the memories of Tessie grabbing shoes, accidents (though few!) and running from bath time come easily to mind.  They now are replaced by adult dog behavior, the list of nots, things she does not do:

• Not getting in the refrigerator when the door is open
• Not grabbing clothes when drawers are left ajar
• Not joining me in the shower if the door is open accidentally
• Not counter-serving to see if there is something better up there than in the dog bowl
• Not biting during playtime

And yet why do I find myself somewhat missing them, or at least the sight of a tiny puppy verses the long-legged creature I now have?  With hair in her eyes that always wear a sad expression no matter how happy she is, well, Tess is a mess.  Grooming her myself, every 4-5 weeks and that hair of hers still gets ahead of me constantly needing cut, trimmed, brushed or just overall groomed! As a puppy, her hair didn’t grow as fast and there wasn’t as much there to manage.

Now I find myself remembering the day we brought her home to our home to make it her home, you follow? She was loving but whimpering something she only does now when her feelings are hurt. It’s all relative too because hurt, in her mind is, “I’m on the leash, there is a potential new best friend over there, four legged or two, and I need to be free to greet them my exuberant way!”

So in the end, I suppose with Tessie turning two, many will consider her non-puppy.  With her quirky personality and classic labradoodle looks, she is something special.  As she hops on my lap still convinced she is small enough to sit there though I feel pinned down, I lovingly hold her and will continually call her ‘puppy’  well beyond this month!

Tessie

A Mess? Bark Yes!

Each day begins with me hearing a four legged friend next to me making noises in the morning.  It looked like a puppy that popped in the cage at night to get her milk bone but

what I see now is a contortionist! The sounds are that of the cage as she repositions herself moving her four legs in the oddest twisted positions, never looking remotely like the images of dogs seen curled up like a bug in a rug. Even outside the cage, she does this. Thus, my day begins with the sound of the cell rattling as if Tess is imprisoned. She seems the only one in the bedroom unbothered by the noise, as she rattles it with her four paws.

When I realize, after about 15 minutes into the rattling each morning, Tessie is into her stretchy phase of the morning festivities, I prepare myself to get up. She looks no different than her sleeping state in her cage now really, except her face is more into the contortions she does with her legs; she seemly meekly looks over and quickly it becomes a much more intense stare.. What is it about a dog staring at you that burns through you as if someone is continually poking you until you respond?  The power of a stare, wow, even pets have it innately! And we apparently are trained by them to respond.

Tess has grown over the last 18 months of her life into a slim but nice size labradoodle for me. After having a 125 lb. lab, a 55 lb. dog is sure a treat!  However, the pull on the lead can feel as strong as the smaller the dog, she seems to be able to get more traction at times. This is especially true when her two favorite things to go after are in sight, bunnies or geckos.  My husband and I try everything to get her distracted and if that won’t work, the commands start coming right and left before the dreaded “No Tessie” has to be stated, repeatedly. To date, no deaths!

It seems the minute I step out the door with her, someone is coming by in a golf cart. She is well-trained to sit when cars and carts go by. However, if someone wants to stop to see her, or as she feels, admire her, all bets are off. Then it begins a match between her wants and mine. She wants to levy out kisses and jump which is not allowed. We paid too much for training to have a disobedient dog. Too bad Tess doesn’t always subscribe to that line of thinking. She will push the limits when new people are near her, so eager to give out love. She desperately wants everyone to like her also. Perhaps she has self-esteem issues because she is kinda ugly. Oh shoot, her vet says the poodle part of her is very sensitive to comments about her looks and that I must tell her she is very pretty, regularly. I must say I am lax in that department. Who wants a dog with a big head?  

I kind of get Tessie, in a strange way. Her appearance is confusing making her probably a very confused individual who needs a lot of reassurance. She is a labradoodle but her DNA got crisscrossed and she is just plain unusual looking like God couldn’t make up which color to make her. Thus, she is like no other I’ve or many have seen.

Tessie’s mother was a chocolate brown and her father was a black poodle, Tessie is neither of these colors. What I see looking up at me is a continual changing mish-mash of white,

gray and shades of both, a variegated whatever is the best way to describe her, kind-of like the Muppet   from Sesame Street. Her tail is the exception, clearly black, been that way from day one and stayed that way.  Perhaps it was the one way of letting us know she was going to be just like her dad named Buddy, a gregarious large doggie, full of personality!  Tess’s hair is a mess   so more often than not I say “Tess, you are a mess” because when she is brushed, well she looks no different.

Speaking of different, when Tessie boards with her trainer, she is so good they can use her as a demonstration dog. Yep, the same dog I am talking about issues on the lead with jumping (and in the house with company, sometimes, as in totally unpredictable) they have a well-oiled machine!) They hand her back to us saying, if you have a problem, you are the problem.

Actually, in most all ways, we are good with her too. And she is a good dog. Issues many other pet owners have we don’t and we thank Tessie regularly when we hear of them.  No accidents, no destroying things in our house, no horrible separation anxiety or not obeying

house rules we have established e.g. certain furniture she can’t sit on. We even leave her in the house extended periods of time out of the cage all the time and come home to nothing out of place. The extent of her damage is eating paper out of the garbage. What is it about the taste of paper with her?  And she bugs me for feeding her my watermelon and yogurt. But I started the bad trend by feeding it to her in the first place. Wednesday night has become $1.00 ice cream cone night for not just us but cone night for Tess; she lucks out because I don’t like the cones! Technically, those are bad habits I suppose but every dog must have some bad vices. 

Tessie can be your best friend when you just want someone to snuggle with and other times, she prefers her space and prefers being left alone. Then, I have to entice her with a treat to even come up and sit with me on the bed.  There is one chair in the living room she has been trained she can sit on laps. She will literally fly through the air across the room to jump on the lap to plop on!  No warming just flying mass of a blur of silver, gray, off white and there is Tess in your lap. In a split decision, she’ll decide if your face or ears are dirty, and it will be hell to pay to get her to stop!

And yet, when she is done with the licking, with me, she curls up in my arms, and lays her head down. I feel I have a precious gift, and feel blessed. Many times, she literally falls asleep like this, in my arms, like a small dog. I hate to get up to disturb her. I want the moment to last awhile just like I felt when my kids had early morning feedings as newborns.  Except, it feels like a dead weight, but I bear it because it’s her, it’s Tessie and at the end of the day, I love her, mess and all!  She’s a mess but, hey, so am I so are we all. And yep, I love you Messy Tessie

Puppy Furr-stration

I said I would never get a dog again. And then I did. I had a lab and said I would never get a lab again. Mine could never be replaced. So I got a lab mix, a labradoodle. Charley, I said was the worst dog ever. Then came Tessie. I was wrong about Charley. And so the story goes.

I see many blogs in my future about Tess, the mess. She is a girl or I would rename her the Tramp from Lady and the Tramp because not only is her color close to his but her hair looks similar, messy  and, if she had a voice, that smart ass personality would be present also.   Heck, I swear she even rolls her eyes at me when she gets exasperated  like when my kids were teens and I was giving the safe sex talk and told them the best way to avoid it is just don’t do it! Maybe Tessie senses I think she is a hussy and we are having a female power struggle in our house.

And speaking of power struggle, I thought the humans were supposed to be in control? I just told her today, I miss Charley. That is my lovely lab that was so devoted to me. You know her response, yea I bet you do. The dog that seldom barks barked at me as if to say, “Tough beans, you are stuck with me, suck it up!”  Instead of being my girl, it is like that song Jessie’s girl and I am Tessie’s girl! She thinks she is the master over me.  Is it too late, at 7 months, to take her back? I looked at her today and found two can play that game then and I barked back at her and she ran for cover!

Speaking of cover, my escape route is the shower, peace!  We have one of those wonderful large walk in showers with a super cool shower head with it that puts out a mist like you are standing in the rain.  Apparently the only time Tess likes the rain is inside, in that damn shower.  And I like my showers alone, at least not with the smell of a wet dog if you get my drift. 

Today, as I am preparing for my shower, I neglected to close the shower doors completely, leaving one up a smidgeon.  As I walk back into the bathroom, standing in where I should have been in just a few moments is Tessie, breathing in the nice warm steam.  I stand outside the door realizing she had, once again, taken her head and bumped the door open and now had her face was upwards soaking up the mist like she was Queen of the House. Daddy was gone and so Tessie’s girl could simply wait till she was done.

Oh hell no is what I said audibly!  And with that, she hustled to the back of the shower out of reach. So we played that game for a few moments until she made

a mad dash out of the shower before I could catch her. By now, being full soaked smelling like a wet dog, she made a b-line for my bed. Then, to compound my frustration, she quickly rolled on the bedspread to dry off before I could grab a towel. Oh, to have Charley back and have a puppy that cared about being in the good graces of mommy!

For some reason, the bathroom is a pitfall for Tessie. The garbage man comes two times a week but in our bathroom it is cleaned out daily.  Our darn trash can is motion activated and Tess has learned how to use her snout to pop the lid, bury her head down deep and seize the contents and tear out of there with them firmly in her grip.  This pup loves eating tissue and paper! I am seriously thinking about writing the manufacturer Ninestars and suggest they put on their label Motion Activated by Hand or Dog Snout.

We always have one particular paper in our house, our community newsletter. Perhaps partially because I write at least one article in it a month, I have to read it. Yes, there is some vanity there.  This month Tessie heard me read it aloud and hated the piece. She ripped it to shreds; get this, not the entire newsletter, just the page my article appeared on.  I am calling her now tear-er instead of terror! 

She has been trained. But I apparently haven’t been. We are both taking refreshers later this month. In the meantime I thought the Dog Whisper might

be a good thing to watch till our lessons. Anyways, Tessie loves watching television in the bedroom at night from the bed where she can see it well. So I taped several episodes. These shows, it is pretty easy to tell it is a dog show by the noises of the dogs on the show.  However, it seems to be the only show Tess is not in the least interested in. I think, honestly, it is because she realizes the dogs are not the master. She is much smarter than the Dog Whisperer. He really needs to come to her house. Note, I said her house, not mine!

About the time I think the breeder needs to take her back and someone offers to take her because they think she is so darn cute, she hops on my lap trying to make up to me.  There is something in me that suckers up to her when she lays her head on my chest and plants those little kisses on me.  I do love how when we play hide and seek, she can always find me and just seems so overjoyed at the sight of me and makes me feel so loved and appreciated. And then her tail wags and I know the bond we have has continued to grow. And I can’t help myself and realize the puppy I brought home is staying here till the day she grows her wings.

But I won’t stop poking fun at her till the day she stops doing it to me!

Tessie's Back

Okay, here it goes an update from the woman who will never win Puppy Owner of the Year Award but also, the most honest!  Bet you are wondering what life has been like in my world with Tessie. Suffice it to say, a bitch of an adventure!

It hardly seems like there is a minute’s peace unless she is napping. Those afternoon naps are the best time of the day to get things done, until she hears movement, ouch,  then she is up and ready to

rumble.  However, one day, we were out and about in the house and no sound of the scraggly rug rat underfoot. As we said her name after about 15 minutes, there was no response. We searched all the usual sleeping places calling her name to no avail. Finally, the only door closed in the house I slipped open. Staring back at me was Tessie, still as a mouse, ready to pounce.

She had found her way in the walk-in closet which allowed her to walk in but, once entering, the door has to be pushed back out to open. Miss Smarty Pants doesn’t have that trick down yet. Note to self, great place to put puppy on a time-out!

Why is it that our puppy prefers wrapping herself around the base of the toilet to sleep rather than the comfy places in the house? Though the bathrooms are cleaned religiously, it seems rather uncleanly to be sleeping here. Every time I catch her, it is fight against her will power and mine to pull her out from around it. The one good thing I will say about the struggle, by the time I am done, the bottom of the bowl is extra shiny!

Puppies are so cute, to everyone else but their owner!  When we take her somewhere, like to the vet’s, she is so demure and innocent. She is cooed over and told she is one of the best puppies they see. I brush off the compliments about the cutest knowing full well that is said to every puppy owner. What her like kids grow up to be teenagers, ugh!)

Some of my closer friends have had the privilege or rather disadvantage of seeing Tessie in her

normal stage, hell on four paws, or rather none!  She prefers flying at you like a Frisbee and has no breaking power because you are it, your body, wherever she hits! ‘ No’ means you want more of whatever she is doing wrong!  Nipping is her way of saying hello and she loves repeating greetings.  She is the hostess that has to be the center of attention and makes us look like first time dog owners, which neither of us are!  We frequently get asked “Are you putting her in dog training?” Yes is the answer and we have been in it before, numerous times,  but have never had a Tessie before. Can I stop here?

This puppy is not an eater. In fact, it is a wonder she puts on weight. We switched dog foods, tried watering the food down. Cut back the times she was fed to see if she got hungrier, pet her while she was eating, and finally gave up. We suppose she will eat when she is hungry and she does, but not nearly what the vet said she should eat. But she grows and eats some.

And like the other day, finds other things on the ground she prefers to dog food, like other dog’s poop. Unfortunately, I did not pull the lead hard enough to get her away before it hit her mouth. So here I am, with Miss Tessie, her pretty pink lead with hearts on it, my puppy just having been brushed all pretty walking through the front yard with a large turd half in her mouth and half hanging out. As she is chewing I am trying to retain my composure. As I battle internally telling myself yes, I must do the unthinkable, I remember I have baby carrots in my pocket. I had brought them out to give her not realizing someone else left her something disgusting to munch on.

So I bent over, with carrot in hand and yelled at her to drop it, spit it out as if she would understand

and waved that damn carrot as if it were the best damn thing on earth to no avail. She was not letting go of that turd, no way no how. I was not getting out of this easy!  I saw she was chewing it which made my stomach turn and thought I saw her start swallowing part of it and pull the other part in her mouth. Okay, I told myself, just go for it so I stuck my finger in her mouth and flicked it out yelling all the while thinking hell, I will take a bite from her but darn is she is chomping on someone else’s dirty deed. I flipped that turd as high and hard as I could and silently wished death on the person who did not pick up after their dog! Thank you very much!

Playing on the floor with Tessie requires the utmost attention. One evening, as I was messing around with her, she was climbing up my back. She was getting abit rough and I held her off. I should have known to stop the play right there.  I learned a second too late, puppies don’t have brakes on play time and sometimes go too far. My ear let me know, as she bit it. I held my hand to it, and when I pulled it away, it was full of blood. Yelling for my husband, I couldn’t help but wonder if I lost part of my ear flap. Lucky for her I didn’t or I would have had to retaliate!  Puppy’s mouths are danger zones sometimes.

Drama seems to abound with Tessie. Even when I am leaving her and putting her in her zipper cage. I zip one way and out pops her head the other. Having a smart puppy makes the owner feel stupid. I

swear she is laughing half the time saying “Gotcha!” Even throwing in a treat in the back of it, she grabs it much quicker than you can zip it up or says, “Hell with the treat, I am coming out” and heads for the door regardless leaving me with an empty crate looking at a dog treat left behind.  When I finally get her in the darn thing, she creates a racket to let me know how ticked off she is. And darn if I don’t  feel guilty. How do puppies do that? Give you that puppy face and make you fall in love with them all over again like the first time you saw them and they said “Take me home!”

Well suffice it to say, as many times as I say “You love her, you can have her” I think I will hang on to her awhile longer. We seem to be getting a grove going now but sure have our bumps along the way.  She is a lover at times and those cuddles make all the other things fade at the end of the day from memory.  And then, the sun comes up……. Tessie’s awake!

Puppy For Hire

Who wants a Tessie for trial to see what it is like to own a puppy?  Have I got a deal for you, no charges involved!  She is a character and will give you the full gamut of experiences of what it is like to be a pet-owner with all the pluses and minuses all wrapped up in a ball of fur.  Thus continues my life with Tessie, the labradoodle I just had to have!

Tessie has progressed to taking walks to the dog park. How is it that moving along in weight to 14 lbs

from 7 lbs in 3 weeks can make the leash pull go from nothing to a challenge?  And the misnomer to

the neighbors is her prance makes her look like Cinderella at times. Unknown to them she is a She-

Devil in disguise at the house.  That beautiful high step in the home is a massive black blur at home as she literally runs so fast she slides on the wood floors coming into contact at times with walls, furniture, and yes, my feet!

I have found useful purposes you will enjoy of Tessie being in your home, listed below: 

•       The dust bunnies are gone under the bed as she frequently goes underneath the bed refusing to come out when I need her to, hiding in the very center where she is unreachable
•      It will be easy to remember to rotate washing various rugs around the house as she is inconsistent about having accidents in the house showing no preference where she pees
•      Regular exercise will easily be accomplished with Tessie as you will find yourself frequently taking long walks to wear her little butt out so she won’t be so energetic in the house

There are dog experts all over for training purposes. I have taken all kinds of training classes before with dogs I have owned. Most techniques do not work with this pup. She is one who needs a child expert on the strong-willed child. She is hell-bent on getting her own way. We need Cesar Millan in the worst way.  However, I refuse to be on the show and have cute little Tessie make me look like I am an incompetent owner.  Having had two Rotties that were huge and could even walk off lead and heel, have food on their noses without budging I now find myself with a wrist that looks like I was attacked by sharks.

The vet suggested adding in healthy treats for training to curb bad habits. Quickly we found

carrots are a passion with Tessie. She learned carrots come from the refrigerator.  Now guess Tessie’s favorite place to sit, lay and whine?  She is an excellent example of Pavlov’s dog experiment. Train a dog where food comes from and there they lay, except that is where our food comes from too!  And every time we attempt to open the door  a little She-Devil comes like a bat out of hell and manages to squeeze through my legs. 

Now, instead of looking for my intended item, I am contending with a puppy climbing up the side door, biting the lip on the drawers or trying to literally take food off of the shelves right at nose height, how convenient for Tessie.  I can even hear her thoughts, "This seems a helluva lot better than dog food. Why are you holding out on me Momma? "  I am trying to reach for items, push her out with the other hand and have paws everywhere. Sometimes it is just plain not worth it and close the door. Maybe take out is easier!  Carrots have turned her into a food thief!  Next suggestion….

My past training involved taking pop cans, putting pennies in them and taping the top to cover the hole. Simply shaking the can will annoy the dog so much they will stop jumping or biting.  So two girlfriends come over the other day and each is given a can. This seems like an excellent idea with the thought behind it, one shake and it won’t happen again. This has worked like a charm with every dog I have ever had before.

Here comes Tessie, like a flying Frisbee at them, full speed ahead, jumping with her mouth wide open, all baby teeth exposed. Up goes the can in their hands, shaking it with gusto like Morocco’s. The sound is obnoxious to all of us, so loud and clanging. Tessie jumps back, scared out of her mind. So she runs to the other friend, who promptly lifts her can once Tessie jumps up her legs and, once the friend bends to pet her, my darling bundle of joy clamps down on her wrist. It works. Tessie lays down all of 3 minutes. Then back she comes to the other friend. This goes on for about 20 minutes till, luckily my husband comes home and removes her from the room. By then, we all three are holding our heads with pounding headaches.  Agreeable, the cans got Tessie down on the ground but the noise was atrocious and the cans were in constant use. This is not how this correction is supposed to work!

So I sit here writing, looking at a lovable puppy that is sleeping at my feet wondering how I can write such a sarcastic blog about her.  Look at her precious pictures posted on the blog. Oh, but what you don’t see are the ones that will never get posted, the blurs of black because, prior to the picture being snapped, she shot past me and headed into Trouble going to bite furniture, jump on me or attempt to urinate. She keeps me on my toes, one of which is broken so I wear a boot, a boot which she loves to chew on, blatantly right in-front of me. A correction will lead to her giving me a sharp bark until she gets the “dreaded look” that translated means “Don’t mess with me” and quiets her down. Mamma Bear has her limits.

So I suppose I won’t rent her out. I am afraid you just might not bring her back in after taking her out for potty breaks. You might accidentally on purpose leave her in her cage one time too long. You

might correct her too much and hurt her feelings. Or you might get too use to have no dust bunnies under your bed or on the floor. I can’t run the risk, either, me hiring Tessie to you, getting use to a pup and falling in love with my Tessie!