Puppy For Hire

Who wants a Tessie for trial to see what it is like to own a puppy?  Have I got a deal for you, no charges involved!  She is a character and will give you the full gamut of experiences of what it is like to be a pet-owner with all the pluses and minuses all wrapped up in a ball of fur.  Thus continues my life with Tessie, the labradoodle I just had to have!

Tessie has progressed to taking walks to the dog park. How is it that moving along in weight to 14 lbs

from 7 lbs in 3 weeks can make the leash pull go from nothing to a challenge?  And the misnomer to

the neighbors is her prance makes her look like Cinderella at times. Unknown to them she is a She-

Devil in disguise at the house.  That beautiful high step in the home is a massive black blur at home as she literally runs so fast she slides on the wood floors coming into contact at times with walls, furniture, and yes, my feet!

I have found useful purposes you will enjoy of Tessie being in your home, listed below: 

•       The dust bunnies are gone under the bed as she frequently goes underneath the bed refusing to come out when I need her to, hiding in the very center where she is unreachable
•      It will be easy to remember to rotate washing various rugs around the house as she is inconsistent about having accidents in the house showing no preference where she pees
•      Regular exercise will easily be accomplished with Tessie as you will find yourself frequently taking long walks to wear her little butt out so she won’t be so energetic in the house

There are dog experts all over for training purposes. I have taken all kinds of training classes before with dogs I have owned. Most techniques do not work with this pup. She is one who needs a child expert on the strong-willed child. She is hell-bent on getting her own way. We need Cesar Millan in the worst way.  However, I refuse to be on the show and have cute little Tessie make me look like I am an incompetent owner.  Having had two Rotties that were huge and could even walk off lead and heel, have food on their noses without budging I now find myself with a wrist that looks like I was attacked by sharks.

The vet suggested adding in healthy treats for training to curb bad habits. Quickly we found

carrots are a passion with Tessie. She learned carrots come from the refrigerator.  Now guess Tessie’s favorite place to sit, lay and whine?  She is an excellent example of Pavlov’s dog experiment. Train a dog where food comes from and there they lay, except that is where our food comes from too!  And every time we attempt to open the door  a little She-Devil comes like a bat out of hell and manages to squeeze through my legs. 

Now, instead of looking for my intended item, I am contending with a puppy climbing up the side door, biting the lip on the drawers or trying to literally take food off of the shelves right at nose height, how convenient for Tessie.  I can even hear her thoughts, "This seems a helluva lot better than dog food. Why are you holding out on me Momma? "  I am trying to reach for items, push her out with the other hand and have paws everywhere. Sometimes it is just plain not worth it and close the door. Maybe take out is easier!  Carrots have turned her into a food thief!  Next suggestion….

My past training involved taking pop cans, putting pennies in them and taping the top to cover the hole. Simply shaking the can will annoy the dog so much they will stop jumping or biting.  So two girlfriends come over the other day and each is given a can. This seems like an excellent idea with the thought behind it, one shake and it won’t happen again. This has worked like a charm with every dog I have ever had before.

Here comes Tessie, like a flying Frisbee at them, full speed ahead, jumping with her mouth wide open, all baby teeth exposed. Up goes the can in their hands, shaking it with gusto like Morocco’s. The sound is obnoxious to all of us, so loud and clanging. Tessie jumps back, scared out of her mind. So she runs to the other friend, who promptly lifts her can once Tessie jumps up her legs and, once the friend bends to pet her, my darling bundle of joy clamps down on her wrist. It works. Tessie lays down all of 3 minutes. Then back she comes to the other friend. This goes on for about 20 minutes till, luckily my husband comes home and removes her from the room. By then, we all three are holding our heads with pounding headaches.  Agreeable, the cans got Tessie down on the ground but the noise was atrocious and the cans were in constant use. This is not how this correction is supposed to work!

So I sit here writing, looking at a lovable puppy that is sleeping at my feet wondering how I can write such a sarcastic blog about her.  Look at her precious pictures posted on the blog. Oh, but what you don’t see are the ones that will never get posted, the blurs of black because, prior to the picture being snapped, she shot past me and headed into Trouble going to bite furniture, jump on me or attempt to urinate. She keeps me on my toes, one of which is broken so I wear a boot, a boot which she loves to chew on, blatantly right in-front of me. A correction will lead to her giving me a sharp bark until she gets the “dreaded look” that translated means “Don’t mess with me” and quiets her down. Mamma Bear has her limits.

So I suppose I won’t rent her out. I am afraid you just might not bring her back in after taking her out for potty breaks. You might accidentally on purpose leave her in her cage one time too long. You

might correct her too much and hurt her feelings. Or you might get too use to have no dust bunnies under your bed or on the floor. I can’t run the risk, either, me hiring Tessie to you, getting use to a pup and falling in love with my Tessie!