My daughter and I are nothing alike. She is headstrong, outspoken and
a true extrovert. She is driven, passionate and has a real command of
As a toddler, my little girl enjoyed masterminding new
tricks. She quickly learned how to jump
out of her crib by using the mattress as springboard. She also knew it upset me
to no end so learned to climb back into as soon as she heard my steps coming
down the hallway. To make matters even worse, she hated dirty diapers as much
as me. So, prior to potty training, baby girl took to removing them anywhere
and everywhere! How did I know this? I would turn around after yelling at her
seeing her mess with her diaper telling her to not take it off and there she
would be walking in it. However, the dead giveaway was she was walking leaning sideways;
kind off cockeyed as she never quite mastered getting her legs in the right
holes so was trying to keep it upright on her hips.
My little girl was frequently ill, just a multitude of
health issues from Day I. Going to the pediatrician was often on the to do
list. And she could be a handful in the
itty bitty room with not much for her to do besides open every drawer, find the
trash can, flip the lights, roll on the floor, turn the sink on, until I got
tired of listening to myself say no and threatened her with bodily harm. By the
time the doctor walked in, she would promptly
tell him, when he apologized for being long, “I was good or Mommy would beat my
butt.” That was Christina, not mincing words or holding back.
Then there was the time we arrived at Vacation Bible School
late. The church’s hall was very quiet as classes had already started. Most of
the nuns were busy except for the one performing check in. She approached and I
apologized for being late. I said I got delayed by a phone call. My daughter
jumped in to correct me loudly so everyone in the hall heard “No, it was
because my brother said a bad word and needed to get soap in his mouth.” All eyes in the hall were on us and I
could feel my son falling back behind my legs.
Christina did not always have a filter, lol!
As I took her shopping, so many times things came out
unexpected that I began to be well-versed at coming up with responses back to strangers. I also learned to get the hell out of lines quickly. Her voice projected well like mine. There
were the times she asked me things like “Why does that person ahead of us smell
so bad?” or “Mister, why are you staring at me? Don’t you know that is rude?” Or getting to the front of the register and asking
for me to buy her candy. I would say no and she would say with annoyance “You
promised if I was good you would buy me candy, I was good. You lied Mommy!” I could feel all eyes staring at me like I was the worst mother of the year.
Even when it came to eating, my daughter could outsmart me.
The rules were that if you didn’t eat the main course there were no deserts or
treats, like cookies. I wasn’t good, initially, at checking to see if she stashed food away, assuming if her plate was empty, she ate it so praising her.
Over a period of about 6 months, she got rid of food in so many ways, eating up praise left and right. Before being potty-trained, I would find food stuffed in her diaper from dinner! She would put food bites in the
bottom of her juice cup. She had hand signals for the dog under the table and
would feed it to him. No wonder the dog loved her! I suppose, one day, I gave
up. No treats right after dinner because her ingenuity was just too creative.
Many parents believe in Time Out. It was even popular back
when she was a youngster. But it was a useless proposition at my house with my
little girl. About the time I would tell her she could come out of it, she
would tell me she would prefer to stay in it! Her communication skills were
always extremely advanced for her age. So even if company was over, she’d say
things when time was up for time out, “I am enjoying using my imagination, I
think I will sit here a bit longer but thank you anyways.” And
sit she would until I had to make her get up!
Answering the telephone became something she enjoyed from the moment she could start putting sentences together, about 2 1/2 years old. Even then, her speed was incredible. She
could beat almost all of us to the phone if she had a running start, though she
was always the shortest in the house. It
was quite comical to hear someone so tiny give complete answers in sentence structure and hear their reaction on the other end of the phone! When the call was for her dad and he was working, she gave the funniest answers. My favorites she came up with were: “Daddy working. He’s making money to buy me shoes.”
And this classic, “Daddy’s gone. He doesn’t want to talk to you now.” Guess they got the message from her!
Nobody, but nobody loved Snicker bars like my girl! And yet, due to migraines induced by nuts,
they were a serious No No for her! So, somehow she sneaked them. How did I
know? Well, in cleaning her room and pulling out her bed one day, I discovered a stash of snicker wrappers under her bed. After this repeatedly happening, she got wiser! She then began squishing them between that space in the wall and the side of the bed it lays up against. All of this was going on in the lower grades and to this day, I
have no idea who was feeding my kid candy bars and in that quantity. But she was probably outsmarting them like she did me to get them! And there is a part of me that admires her ingenuity for doing such a damn good job at doing it! At times,
there were so many of those candy wrappers, it was like a child addicted to them who needed to go to
Snickers Anonymous.
That fact that someone this small could pull one over on me so many times and create so much material is astounding when you think about it! Seriously, I was a single mom with a dual degree, well-read and written. I am outspoken, passionate, driven and headstrong, nothing like her! No way a little twerp like that could get the best of me, but she did, many times! And through it all, I knew that one day she would grow up and make something of
herself. And in spite of the highs and lows of raising her, I am proud to say,
she has. She brought me tears, nights of
fears, laughter, heartbreak and some of the best moments of my life. And today,
on her birthday, I remember a little girl who changed the world with her wit,
charm and uniqueness. And yes, life was
never the same, nor will it ever be, 37 years later.
