Pour Me Another Cup!

Writing and coffee go hand in hand to me. Am I alone?  Apparently not, I found out quickly in doing some research.  As Samuel Carlton in Why Coffee Remains the Lifeblood of Writers Everywhere points out (Medium. Com, Sept. 26, 2018) “It’s not just the caffeine it’s the extended stimulation.”  He goes on in his article to give various reasons why coffee seems a hallmark to writers’ toolbox. To quote T.S. Elliot, playwright, essayist “I have measured out my life in coffee spoons.”  Famous writers throughout the ages are known for frequenting coffee shops and then writing with a pen in hand and a coffee cup close by the other one.

I was curious, with all the writers in America, how much coffee is consumed?  400 Million Cups a day which ranks America as the leading consumer of coffee in the world. (e-importz.com/coffee-statistics, 2019) There are greater than 150 Million daily drinkers according to Importz.com.  We are a nation of coffee drinkers for sure!

Now it starts to make sense, you might be thinking, why there are so many coffee chains all over the place.  64% of Americans drink the stuff!  But you might be surprised to learn that 79% still brew at home. (Foodandwine.com, March 19, 2018, Elizabeth Sherman) However, with such a large number of drinkers, coffee shops still have a large market share.

I would surmise that many writers are working from home and brewing their own as I am. That said, I need to refresh my cup!

God Can We Make a Few Personal Changes on the Next Go Around

I kind of doubt people, like cats, get nine lives but I am not so sure we don’t get another go around. I have friends that believe that they have been here before. Some swear that they

are experiencing Deja vu, particularly when they hear someone overseas yelling something in a language they haven’t learned yet but distinctly know what is being said to them!  There are other instances that stand out even more clearly making them believe in reincarnation. Let’s assume we do, I want to be prepared to tell God where I think He went wrong with me so that the same mistakes aren’t made. Constructive criticism is always a good thing, right?

Let’s be clear about one thing, in general I am not shy. Having studied communications, public speaking has been a big part of my career path. However, God failed to give me the gene of innate singing ability. I have an amazing ear for music, and detect perfect tone, and an appreciation for all genres of music. But the one thing I am lacking is the one passion I so want, the ability to open my mouth and sound like a songbird. Dear God, I know I have the “It” factor and would definitely have that showmanship and touch millions of people’s hearts if only I had the voice I was destined to have. When you created me with the need to turn off the mic when I start to sing, you missed the mark.

Have you noticed all the beautiful feet on the women you made?  I know vanity isn’t something you placed a high prize on after Eve’s antics but with the advent of the sandal for high fashion for women, it wasn’t long before pedicures followed. Shortly thereafter began men’s foot fetish. How come I was left out here and given boat feet?  A size 11 foot for a woman would require a two appointment booking for a pedicure, twice the cost and no matter how good a job was done, it is too much to take in for any man in ‘’just one look’’.  When a man’s mind is on a boat, it is not thinking of a sexy looking woman.  My feet have been bigger than all of my husbands for Father’s sake. (See, I know not to use your name in vain!)

I raised my children as a single mother. I suppose that means I did a lousy job in picking some husbands.  Lessons learned can be invaluable though I can't blame you for poor choices in that category fairly. You created tons of options!  My father wasn’t good at mate-picking either on the first-go-round either. He got divorced too.  He raised my sister and me for a while as a single father.  In a few years, he remarried. Shame though that his new wife hated my sister and I. Could you have made us not a constant reminder of our biological mother? Or maybe, God could you have made her love us both a bit more? Next time, give it a more thought. Being a kid feeling hated many times was not exactly a whole heck of a lot of fun.  It was so apparent we were the step-kids like the ugly misfits growing up. There were some good moments in there but overall feeling as an outsider in your own home was kind of like living in the SPCA waiting to get adopted by a loving family that wasn’t going to hold your genes against you. I wasn't crazy about the clothes from Sears mail catalog, I look back and think I looked geeky. Or maybe I was a nerd? 

This experience though, gave me some insight so that part was good. I developed into a compassionate woman but I have to be honest with you, lighten up on the sensitivity measure please.  It sometimes makes me feel you subjected me to feeling perhaps a little screwed up for life, more so than the rest of the folks I hang out with. But maybe that is why I am so funny. Don’t you think I am funny God? Bet you laugh your ass off when I get to heaven God! Oh and extra thank you for not putting “It is sinful to use the words ass or shit in the Ten Commandments.” 

My children never knew and still don’t know their grandmother, my real mom that is. We didn’t rekindle any kind of relationship till I turned 50 and about then my daughter disengaged from me. Maybe the right word is dumped me. She essentially decided all of my support for her all of her life was done so she no longer needed me anymore so why keep me involved. I think she wanted a friend and not a mom but thank you for not making me that. I am not so sure she’d have gotten to where she is if I’d have been a BFF.  I know she wouldn’t have if I did what my mother did to me, high tailed it out of town with a guy I met in a bar and flip flopped from one to another, living on love, or is that lust?   Her letter to you would suggest you find her a new Mom and maybe I can relate because at times, I wish my mom had been made different too, like one who stayed around like I did!

The irony God, you know, is all those years I was there for my kids making so many sacrifices unlike my biological mother. Close to the same time my daughter dumped me, I really began to notice things changing with my son.  He got so busy in his own life that he didn’t have much time to really be a son anymore. You made me into a burden to him, something that is often forgotten, something that gets replaced with friends, vacations, parties, etc.… Can you make me more fun and worthwhile to my son next go round so I can have enough attention that my ego isn’t bruised?  At 58 I’d prefer to get the attention my friends get from their kids. Thanks though for the forewarning, make friends with my friends’ kids and ask to be adopted or the nursing home is going to be a lonely place with no visitors. As I tell my mother, you left your kids and I stayed with mine and you get to get real old and die with a relationship with yours. I don't get that with my daughter loving me unconditionally and a son that won't come see me like I come to see her. So maybe leaving me wasn't the worst thing she could have done afterall and she should really stop apologizing now.  I am where she was all those years ago.  God, you really screwed that up, sorry to say , from my perspective and my mom's.  Rework the plan next time or make me a total bitch so shit doesn’t hurt!

Cancer was a shocker in my life. I think I'd have liked to keep my breast. But I do believe that it has helped me stay motivated to work for this crummy disease that takes so many beautiful people, and not so kind people. But a life is a life, they are all worth trying to save. And  you know how much work I have done trying to save them. Can you help me make even more of an impact next go round?  I have a few friends that died too young. I would switch places with them so they could have hung around longer with their kids. They had kids that so loved them and just bawled like their entire world ended when their mom died. I think I would have rather switched places with them and not see their kids die abit inside. I know, your plan is the plan. And their death and their kids keeps me fighting and I have made an impact, but geez, is there another way to teach lessons than having women have to cut off body parts?  Pardon the pun but it feels like a booby trap that just ain't funny God. 

And in the pet’s category, what were you thinking?  Yes, God finds homes for all his beloved animals that need one. But why couldn’t I have a good one, a calm one, not ones that should be on Prozac. My last two dogs are ones that act like they came from the shelter and were abused instead of coming from a breeder as puppies to a loving home, mine!  What could be more loving and stable than me?  Nada more perfect place! Now I have a puppy that eats body parts off of stuffed animals like the last dog.  Isn’t that much like animals in the wild?  Can I have a pussy of a dog next time please?

I want to be rich. I don’t give a damn about being famous. I want to travel around the world, see different cultures and see all the cool stuff you created. I am not satisfied just meeting the kooks you created here in the United States. I want to meet the weird ones elsewhere!  I want to give to the tons of worthwhile organizations out there that no one bothers with that do so many good deeds and go so unnoticed and unfunded. I want to do the work that, if Jesus had been funded, he would have done. Yep, I want money so you can whisper in my ear when I prayer, put the dough here, let the bread multiply here so at the end of the day, I can still feel rich but for the right reasons. I can then hop on a plane and know someone else is super excited and thrilled too. That is the stuff that lights my fire!

Can I be surrounded by sincerity and leaders that care about humanity and the compassion of all of your people or is that asking way too much?  Maybe I pushed the limits on that one since you give freewill. If so, I will back off. I just hate seeing the folks that have the power use it only to enrich themselves and their buddies that are rich and powerful and let others suffer. I know this disappoints you too, people following false leaders with not very good intentions. Also, it sure would be an added plus if friends and people treated each other kindly and with respect for who they are. Why is accepting differences and diversity you created so hard for some people? Do they not see their differences?

God, all in all, you have done a damn good job with my life. Your plan, as its unfolded sure has had a lot of ups and downs, and lots of pylons, my word for hurdles. I know I have banged into a few. Sometimes my driving needs some help, I am directionally challenged!  But when I look back at the journey, every path you took me on led me to a destination that made me smarter than when I took off.

When I look at myself, I am far richer for having gone on this path, the least traveled path and by far, physically and in my own quirky way, less perfect. So maybe I need to reconsider, should I ask for a redo at all?  Aye, maybe I will leave that call up to you after all.  Your master plan is what it is. I rest easier knowing you are in charge instead of me. If I was, hell, who knows where I would land up, probably in heaven a lot quicker actually!  And you might not be ready for me yet!

Tessie's Back

Okay, here it goes an update from the woman who will never win Puppy Owner of the Year Award but also, the most honest!  Bet you are wondering what life has been like in my world with Tessie. Suffice it to say, a bitch of an adventure!

It hardly seems like there is a minute’s peace unless she is napping. Those afternoon naps are the best time of the day to get things done, until she hears movement, ouch,  then she is up and ready to

rumble.  However, one day, we were out and about in the house and no sound of the scraggly rug rat underfoot. As we said her name after about 15 minutes, there was no response. We searched all the usual sleeping places calling her name to no avail. Finally, the only door closed in the house I slipped open. Staring back at me was Tessie, still as a mouse, ready to pounce.

She had found her way in the walk-in closet which allowed her to walk in but, once entering, the door has to be pushed back out to open. Miss Smarty Pants doesn’t have that trick down yet. Note to self, great place to put puppy on a time-out!

Why is it that our puppy prefers wrapping herself around the base of the toilet to sleep rather than the comfy places in the house? Though the bathrooms are cleaned religiously, it seems rather uncleanly to be sleeping here. Every time I catch her, it is fight against her will power and mine to pull her out from around it. The one good thing I will say about the struggle, by the time I am done, the bottom of the bowl is extra shiny!

Puppies are so cute, to everyone else but their owner!  When we take her somewhere, like to the vet’s, she is so demure and innocent. She is cooed over and told she is one of the best puppies they see. I brush off the compliments about the cutest knowing full well that is said to every puppy owner. What her like kids grow up to be teenagers, ugh!)

Some of my closer friends have had the privilege or rather disadvantage of seeing Tessie in her

normal stage, hell on four paws, or rather none!  She prefers flying at you like a Frisbee and has no breaking power because you are it, your body, wherever she hits! ‘ No’ means you want more of whatever she is doing wrong!  Nipping is her way of saying hello and she loves repeating greetings.  She is the hostess that has to be the center of attention and makes us look like first time dog owners, which neither of us are!  We frequently get asked “Are you putting her in dog training?” Yes is the answer and we have been in it before, numerous times,  but have never had a Tessie before. Can I stop here?

This puppy is not an eater. In fact, it is a wonder she puts on weight. We switched dog foods, tried watering the food down. Cut back the times she was fed to see if she got hungrier, pet her while she was eating, and finally gave up. We suppose she will eat when she is hungry and she does, but not nearly what the vet said she should eat. But she grows and eats some.

And like the other day, finds other things on the ground she prefers to dog food, like other dog’s poop. Unfortunately, I did not pull the lead hard enough to get her away before it hit her mouth. So here I am, with Miss Tessie, her pretty pink lead with hearts on it, my puppy just having been brushed all pretty walking through the front yard with a large turd half in her mouth and half hanging out. As she is chewing I am trying to retain my composure. As I battle internally telling myself yes, I must do the unthinkable, I remember I have baby carrots in my pocket. I had brought them out to give her not realizing someone else left her something disgusting to munch on.

So I bent over, with carrot in hand and yelled at her to drop it, spit it out as if she would understand

and waved that damn carrot as if it were the best damn thing on earth to no avail. She was not letting go of that turd, no way no how. I was not getting out of this easy!  I saw she was chewing it which made my stomach turn and thought I saw her start swallowing part of it and pull the other part in her mouth. Okay, I told myself, just go for it so I stuck my finger in her mouth and flicked it out yelling all the while thinking hell, I will take a bite from her but darn is she is chomping on someone else’s dirty deed. I flipped that turd as high and hard as I could and silently wished death on the person who did not pick up after their dog! Thank you very much!

Playing on the floor with Tessie requires the utmost attention. One evening, as I was messing around with her, she was climbing up my back. She was getting abit rough and I held her off. I should have known to stop the play right there.  I learned a second too late, puppies don’t have brakes on play time and sometimes go too far. My ear let me know, as she bit it. I held my hand to it, and when I pulled it away, it was full of blood. Yelling for my husband, I couldn’t help but wonder if I lost part of my ear flap. Lucky for her I didn’t or I would have had to retaliate!  Puppy’s mouths are danger zones sometimes.

Drama seems to abound with Tessie. Even when I am leaving her and putting her in her zipper cage. I zip one way and out pops her head the other. Having a smart puppy makes the owner feel stupid. I

swear she is laughing half the time saying “Gotcha!” Even throwing in a treat in the back of it, she grabs it much quicker than you can zip it up or says, “Hell with the treat, I am coming out” and heads for the door regardless leaving me with an empty crate looking at a dog treat left behind.  When I finally get her in the darn thing, she creates a racket to let me know how ticked off she is. And darn if I don’t  feel guilty. How do puppies do that? Give you that puppy face and make you fall in love with them all over again like the first time you saw them and they said “Take me home!”

Well suffice it to say, as many times as I say “You love her, you can have her” I think I will hang on to her awhile longer. We seem to be getting a grove going now but sure have our bumps along the way.  She is a lover at times and those cuddles make all the other things fade at the end of the day from memory.  And then, the sun comes up……. Tessie’s awake!

Tapestry of Your Life

I once heard someone describe our lives as a beautiful tapestry. He went on to say each thread is interwoven and may circle back with a purpose and each is put in by design

creating a colorful legacy. I rather like this imagery description of our existence here on earth.  Are we not each a master of all the images we are creating of our lives?

So what kind of tapestry are you creating?  I think the colors should be vast and variegated. Life should not be mundane or there is no growth.  A picture is captivating in black and white but a tapestry draws no attention without color. Your live should be colorful and eye-appealing if reviewed in full.

Draw outside of the lines. Conformity is entirely too overrated. Why make the picture of you look like everyone else?  I always told my children dare to be different. Be the one that stands out in a crowd. We all have a destiny. Discover yours and fill it. You can’t if you do nothing but always walk rank and file.

Dare yourself to take risks.  This is when new threads begin in the tapestry of your life.  These are the ah-ha moments that give your existence a new dimension.  It doesn’t matter if it is a new career,  a new sport, or a challenge but sometimes do the things no one things you are capable of.  Believe in you. Life is only one shot so give yourself that chance if you think it is worth taking. Passion is a hunger that should be quenched!

Don’t close the door to the past simply because it is over.  That fabric is part of your make up; it is in your tapestry and is part of your beauty with its joys and sorrows.  It is to be celebrated because it has made you part of who you are and the life you are now living.   The threads are critical to the image!

God sees our lives as a beautiful tapestry from above that we weave of our own freewill. Our choices are the ebb and flow of the wave of colors and the overall look and feel of the final image.  Additions in your life may very well be thread changes so don’t settle for staying idle, never moving forward or outward at all.

 As you move through your life, ask yourself, is there color in your life? Do you allow change and growth opportunities or do you run from a challenge that forces you to grow or become more passionate?  Do you allow any new threads to intertwine?  Do you smother the flames of any sort of passion outside your comfort zone?  

Live your life to the fullest but, define it with your own definition of greatness, not someone else’s.  Most importantly, make your tapestry a masterpiece.  It should reflect the legacy of a life fully embraced with  your passion that shows the world you alone could only create this wonderful tapestry! Get to work!