"Good" Friday

Good Friday is here

            The reminder

            to be kinder

A day with spiritual awakening

that is sobering, somber and saddening.

A day so many say,

    “If I was there that day,

     I wouldn’t have stood at bay!”

But your sinfulness would have blocked the way.

                                                        So hit your knees and pray.

Jesus did not believe in the Easter bunny,

            nor fed throngs of crowds with candy.

but his message was loving and kind,

A much sweeter find.

He gave us all an everlasting sign.

With Good Friday,

we are called to reflect

…….. Genuflect

Say a few words in prayer

Understand Jesus’s despair.

He suffered a horrible death,

while publicly shamed

by the very people he came to save.

And he did………

Good Friday his destiny played out.

Crucified on a cross

while his clothing was tossed

                   …amidst soldiers, as they laughed haughtily

at his plight and the fact he didn’t fight.

“What?  A King of Jews?”

Hanging on a cross

Between two thieves

Is the Son of God

As crowds stood by

Watching him die.

 ‘

He asked God to forgive them,

Saying they know not what they do,

All the while hanging his head low,

Knowing he had planted seeds of faith to sow that would grow.

Your seed is your faith,

Your water is your prayer,

Share it with good deeds, especially with those in need.

Your reward in heaven will be heavenly.

Have a joyful blessed Easter everyone! 

   

Shopper's Hell

I have decided that grocery store is one of my least favorite stores.  I have spent far too many hours in it over the years and would be eternally happy if I could spend the rest of my life never having to walk in one again!  And I fail to see why women insist on seeing this as a treat when I see it as a chore. 

The choices on the shelf are immense.  I honestly do not see what the difference is in the brands on anything, be it potato chips, green beans, bread, except for the price. And yet, like every other shopper, I can spend 2-5 minutes standing there reading all the brands trying to make a decision which one looks like the right one for my home. 

Companies know this too so marketing departments spend huge amounts of dollars simply on the color of the label, size of the packaging and the verbiage you read. Even something as simple as the word “improved” is strategic when there may not be one darn thing changed in the product. How would you, the consumer,  know?  Truly, we are naive as can be and fall victim to the marketing ploys shopping even in grocery stores! All those Store Specials, coupon ads, high stacks of products on end-caps are there for a reason, Buyer look here, you need me. It never says “Hey dummies get this!” It doesn’t have to, you’ll buy it regardless.

My doctor tells me reading labels on the back of food are important. Well, Lordy, could they type it larger than the directions that come with prescriptions!  

By the time you read the labels, pick up a few extra bags of carrots in the produce department for your eyes due to eye strain. Oh and lady your cart is creating a major traffic jam!  And by the painstaking timely reading of labels, your cart and body blocks others. Move it or loss it. You are creating a massive bottleneck and enemies and if you don’t hurry up do not be surprised to hear “Attention, we have a traffic jam in Aisle 3, slow reader. We apologize; please hit this aisle last before you check out.”  YOU are drawing the wrong kind of attention.

The ingredients are a trade-off; one is low in sodium but high in carbs.  By the

time you are done, your cart is half empty deciding not a dang thing you want to eat is good for the body. Then you have that shopper that thinks they are so helpful watching you grab something to place in your cart and offering unsolicited advice. By the time they are done telling you what is unhealthy about the product you are convinced you’ll die from it and begrudgingly put it back. Hell, maybe you should hire her to do your shopping next time. Or, on second choice, forget the labels, throw everything in you want and get the hell out of there!  Then, forget the extra bag of carrots; your eyes will be fine.

Ever notice most folks don’t dress up to go to the grocery store? Au naturelle, not as in naked though, is preferred; next to no make-up and sweats or crummy shorts. Why bother while pushing a cart buying food?  Well it seems every time I go, I run into people I seldom see and there I am looking my all-time worst!  Most are polite enough not to verbally say what they are thinking. They don’t have to, their eyes say it all. “Wow, you must be picking up a prescription!”   

I dart in the opposite direction, careful now to not cross their path again. Glancing in my cart, I notice items have magically appeared that weren’t on my carefully prepared list.  Most of these are those damn impulse buys that just

seemed too good to pass up but I have no idea what the original price. You know what I am talking about because far too many of you do it too or stores wouldn’t do it, constantly.  If my husband is with me, because I don’t like going into the war zone by myself, he will say, with some of these purchases “When did you start eating that?”  My response, “It’s on sale,” as he rolls his eyes, totally committed to doing all the grocery shopping again.  For that alone, I think it is a great deal and an awesome move on my part more committed than ever to get more junk in the cart!

I detest the chatter other cart pushers want to engage in.  People want to engage with me every time. Perhaps they think they can be my GA sponsor, as

in Grocery Shoppers Anonymous.  But I am the opposite of that, I am far from being addicted to being in the grocery store and that is not what I look depressed and hostile.  Meaningless dialogue. In endless aisles of food is not how God wants me to spend the last few years of my life.  Look, if I was in a clothing store or something, there could be an interesting dialogue of what is around us. There is just nothing I want to say about toilet paper to acquaintances, I

don’t need to know anyone’s preferences in brands of TP.    

Then you have the kids’ parents who give the little crumb grabbers anything to shut them up, usually chocolate candy they wear everywhere. If you are lucky

enough to pass them closely, you get a mushy smushy chocolate bar that looks like poop smeared on the edge of your cart or worse yet, your arm.  The mother looks at you and laughs finding it funny.  I want to say, “Hey, I paid my dues lady!  Give me a butt wipe so I can get this mess off me.” Now I am making record time to the front line!

Then you have the kids’ parents who give the little crumb grabbers anything to shut them up, usually chocolate candy they wear everywhere. If you are lucky

enough to pass them closely, you get a mushy gooey chocolate bar that looks like poop smeared on the edge of your cart or worse yet, your arm.  The mother looks at you and laughs finding it funny.  I want to say, “Hey, I paid my dues lady!  Give me a butt wipe so I can get this mess off me.” Now I am making record time to the front line!

You also have the type that gives them a toy they never intend on buying. This child plays with it and you know for sure it will be broken before they make it to the front of the store. Too young to be arrested for shop-lifting though technically it is in the category of a loss to the company but hell, even the store is grateful of the white noise being silenced so they turn the other cheek. All these prompts future juvenile delinquents. How many people in prison were past toddlers in grocery carts breaking toys in Krogers, huh? 

None of us old folks did any of this. Nope, our children were all angels in the store, walked straight lines, listened to us intently and never asked for any candy. Right and they had to walk in the center of grocery aisles so their angel wings didn’t knock cans off the shelves! But hey, we are short on memory so let us keep on believing we were perfect parents and did no wrong.

Naturally now my squeaky wheel on my cart is beginning to create a migraine from hell, that and the stress of my shopping not being done yet. I ask my husband:”How long before we get there?” as in the check-out line. We have been here far too long. The cart usually, by now starts malfunctioning direction ally going every way but straight.  People look at me  with the audacity expecting me to go upfront and get another cart. Really, seriously, like I am going to march to the front of the store, at this point, get another cart and off-load every item and delay my exit?

The lowest paid employee, FYI, is the bagger. I learned this by, yes, one time holding that esteemed position. That person is also the gopher of the store. They sometimes offer to take your bags to your car but who wants a stranger walking out to *your car these days? Does the store management not realize that would be the easiest way to have your car-jacked?  Take a stranger to your car with your keys in hand!  So nope, I load my bags in the car myself every time if shopping by myself. And once I arrive home, I prefer, in a perfect world, to leave the bags in the trunk. Hell, I am too exhausted from the whole experience to put them away. Now is when I could use the gopher.  

After making it to the light, the clerk at check-out, everyone went on break so only 2 registers are open and the lines are long. I make a mad dash to the shortest one. After 5 minutes I find out why. I manage to always pick the chatty lady that seems to have more trouble than usual finding the UPC codes on each item! And naturally she needs price checks on a few and won't take the customers word on the item. When I get up to the register, no price, no buy. That is the easiest way out of hell. 

And so, to those of you that love grocery shopping, I salute you.  May you always find it something joyful to compensate for those of us that hate it? Know that I will drink a hearty glass of wine to toast you as you go with your coupons, grocery lists and shop for food at your favorite grocery stores! 

Perfectly Flawed

Whoever really fits in, if their honest with everyone around them 100% of the time?  Each individual has idiosyncrasies, it is just some are more obvious than others. And yet, so many form who they   What happens to those who feel flawed inside, willing to admit it and yet are unaccepted because of it?  What damage is done to these individuals in society? Are they embraced or belittled?

choose to associate with and accept in their inner circle as those who have a clone set of norms that are deemed “popular” or “acceptable”.

Dan was adopted at the age of 10 days old to a military family stationed in Texas. It was a working couple unable to have children excited to have a child. He was a cute Hispanic boy with no health problems.  He lived a normal childhood, attending private elementary school, raised in a Christian family, an avid basketball player and known for being more of an introvert.  Friday nights were known as Pizza night at the Bronold’s house.

Dan, in some ways, is no different than so many other young men’s stories of today. Constant pressure to fit in, doubts about being loved based on knowing a mother gave him up as a baby and then being belittled for other attributes others saw as short comings. 

Within his family, he was given love, support and direction. What he chose was to listen to the doubts he had and the wrong crowd labeling him with negative connotations verses how his family was trying to bring him up. He became misguided as he was pulled towards the wrong crowd encouraging him as they were more accepting of him and he was sensitive to wanting acceptance.  Thus began a spiral of ups with more downs.

Dan’s life of 33 years touched many.  At a Celebration of Life, in a room overflowing, people were there of all walks of life, all ages to celebrate the goodness of a man, his contribution, his hardships and his laughter. He had a father who spoke of all the memories of a child and a man that brought goodness in the world and not of a hateful person or one that was worthy of being outcast because people didn’t understand Dan’s differences.

The sadness in the large ballroom that day was over what was lost, all that Dan could have been.  There were memories everyone there could have shared and were never going to experience. Expressed by some in small circles were the persecution he suffered for far too many years. There was also disappointment felt that day that he had given up on himself, feeling his value was so low that he made the decision to make poor choices when his value was so high. Everyone was committed to making his life continue to have far greater purpose and let Dan know putting others down will never win in the end.

Flawed human beings are all of us, they are you, me, they are the ones you will never meet. The lessons of Dan’s life is continuing to impact countless human beings, most of all those that knew him, loved him and spent time with him or heard his story. His memorial fund, The Dan Bronold Memorial Fund helps teens at risk every year change directions and families know acceptance matters. Everyone who hears his story recognizes bad choices can be corrected if caught early and if left alone, have dire consequences. Time putting others down is wrong on every level; it does not make the world a better place. It ruins lives and destroys futures. It is not something seen or heard or felt on the outside but deeps impacts the inside of an individual. It erodes emotionally a person’s self-worth.  It has a far reaching destruction; ugly words can be catastrophic yet are so callously thrown around these days in schools, work places and yes even by adults in social settings and neighborhoods. In the meantime, thousands of adults sit around blaming youth for hate and meanness in society.

Acceptance of the flaws of others is mandatory for a civilization to prosper well and have kindness and authenticity. Dan now knows his flaws were designed by God. Don't wait till it is too late to learn this lesson. When you find yourself the butt of gossip by others for being less than perfect, remember you are perfectly flawed and not hopeless. Know they are flawed also, simply unwilling to share it or admit it, just feel perhaps more arrogant to put down yours.  Know that there is an angel in heaven named Dan with a smirk on his face 😂.  Those of us that knew Dan  well remember it clearly; he is looking down on you that are slightly out of step with encouragement to move forward with your life with unbridled passion!

• If you would like to donate to the Dan Bronold Memorial Fund, please send to:

Midcourse Correction Camp

Attn: Dan Bronold Memorial Fund

833 E. Grand River Ave

Howell, MI  48843
 E. Grand River Ave. Howell, Michigan 43833 E. Grand River Ave. Howell, Michigan 48843

https://www.midcoursecorrection.org/

I am ME TOO

The shock has worn off. Therapy helped them deal with the past, move on and given the chance, they speak up,  Now a sexual assault victim comes forward and is met by many women angry, stating too much time has gone by for these women to come forward. The dirty little secret nobody wants to talk about or pretend it doesn't exist if it wasn't them. 

Since the Me Too movement started, there are critics, more women than men, speaking out against it. The very idea of an assault victim telling their story forewarning others of their demise and a potential perpetrator takes inner strength. It is easy, on the outside looking in, to say all sexual assault should be reported immediately but is that fair? Ask a victim ask mental health professionals and ask police that deal with this subject again and again what condition these victims are in when they do report it immediately? It is never easy to come forward.

This new argument other women have that sexual assault victims need to come forward in a “reasonable time-frame” or it the assault is relevant, should go unpunished or unrevealed  are jeopardizing other women and men's safety.  This does not happen as frequently with men abused by men of religious order or children who later come forward about teachers. It is wrong to put a totally different standard on sexual assault to women 

These timelines coming out of critics of women speaking out, within 1-3 years, 5 years or 10 years are usually not victims of sexual assault. Where is the respect for the courage to come forward?  Expecting all women to let it lay in the past when someone has broken the law is allowing the very culprits to live a life unpunished and not recognized for destroying someone else’s.

 Do we let crimes go unsolved when we get additional information, years later? Do we tell victims to keep quiet as the crime is long past? Why is sexual assault any different?  These men and, in some cases women, feel empowered to control others with their menacing actions.  By shushing victims, perpetrators are given more power than their victims AGAIN with protection from other women from being revealed or prosecuted.  An attitude like this does nothing to  lessen the number of crimes of sexual assault on children or adults. Infact it provides a window for those contemplating it to feel more confidant, if it is not reported quickly, they are Scott-free. 

How many women are we talking about? Per the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, 1 out of 5 women will be raped in their lifetime. The cost factor for rape to America is larger than any other crime, $127 Billion. Many of the women and men assaulted will experience long and short term effects, such as PTSD which has far-ranging effects to those around them, their employer and healthcare costs.  The period of shock, post-assault, can interfere with reasoning, making sound judgement on where to go, who to talk to and whether or not to report the crime.  It can last for months, years and in some cases, a lifetime.  The story may fade from view but the scars remain.

Sexual assault occurs with children significantly in America. “One in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18 years old.” (National Sexual Violence Resource Center)  If these children live in a dysfunctional home, are we going to further traumatize them by shame-blaming them for not reporting at the time of occurrence?  Note, for those under 18 years old, only 12% are ever reported. 34%, in the case of children, are members of their family, making it even more difficult to come forward to report it. Can you imagine a child’s fear of speaking out and not being removed?  Where will I live if I report it?  Many do not even realize what is going on is wrong or simply block it out for years..  Children depend on their parents and often require counseling when they reach adulthood to break through the silence of confronting the assault and discussing it. Thus the reporting is done much later. 

Women sexually assaulted are being assaulted in public and on social media for withholding a trauma they have taken time to recover from discourages all women and men from reporting crimes of this type. Withholding does not negate truth.   Who has the right to set the ground rules for victims’ rights to speak?  If fairness were an issue, the abuse would not have occurred in the first place. Sexual assault persons did not ask to be abused. 

Men report sexual assault at lower percentages than women.  It is harder for them to feel they will have the outward support for their assault. This makes it extremely trying for them to come forward, plus, there is a  social stigma of a male being sexually abused. These social norms put on men are harmful to those assaulted  No matter the passage of time, these men deserve the right to speak without being further questioned and ostracized, the same as women. Instead of becoming a nation that embraces those hurt, encouraging open dialogue  over wrong-doings, many are becoming self-appointed judge and jury.  No one announces  they sexually abused anyone so it is entirely up to the victim to bring it up and take the public outcry if the culprit is someone beloved. .

So many questions and statements are made to the folks coming forward that are detrimental to recovery.  These do nothing to heal a nation with countless assault victims: “If this were true, why didn't you speak out sooner? Why didn’t you do more so it didn’t happen?  Didn't you have a sign and if so, why did you ignore it?  Were you flirting and perhaps bringing it on?   He (or she) comes off so nice, it is really hard to believe they would do anything like that. Perhaps it was consensual and you regret it?  A potential victim is left opening a wound that seeps back into their life by an uncaring body of people. 

A person is abused in the US every 9 seconds. (Bureau of Justice Statistics)  Every 10 seconds, a child abuse report is made. (American Society of the Positive Care of Children)  We are a nation full of assault and violence. We should be providing affirmation for those that speak out and instead of extremely low percentages of reporting. Without women speaking up, as the Me Too movement is trying to stimulate, the numbers will only continue to rise. In Oct. 2018, the FBI reported there has been a 20% increase in the number of rapes in our country. What an odd time for women to be questioning other women’s stories and their courage in stepping forward.

As a rape victim myself, 42 years ago, I applaud these women. I have sat through many discussions for years with my lips sealed, unwilling to share my story, embarrassed and feeling guilty as if I was to blame somehow for being violated. I found my voice and support other women and the men I have heard coming forward.  It is not easy.  It too took me many many years to learn to do that, speak up and process what happened and all the whys. The Me Too movement is women and men’s right to try to undo a wrong and to protect other people from this type of abuse.    

I defend anyone’s right to share their story and applaud their courage to do so. Some may be false. Checking too many sources to list, the consensus is consistent, less than 2%. 98% are not making accusations up. The passage of time does not change what occurred..  Regardless of your title, name or position or whom you present yourself to be, there is a wrong and there is a right. Perpetrators deserve to be called out; they gave up their right to be kept in secret when they abused another human being. Please, if you are or have been sexually abused, share your story, with someone. Ignore the neigh-sayers, more of us support you than not.   Your voice matters.

Express Yourself

I often wondered, when I was little, would I always be an introvert.  I did not have the confidence to speak up. Conformity was important because I did not want to stand out. I

appreciated diversity as well as I could, considering I didn’t even know the word back then. I knew many friends were different and were picked on for those differences. I was upset by that and knew that was an injustice. But I desperately wanted to be accepted and to be so, you had to be like everyone else, or relatively close. So I tried to keep my mouth shut and fit in.

In reality, I never really was even close. I was tall, skinny and just plain different. In retrospect, so was everyone else. All kids were unusual in their own ways. With some, it was obvious, but perhaps overlooked. In others, it was extremely clear.  There were those with a lisp, a birth defect, ragged clothes, unattractive, lower IQ, etc..

How they dealt with their ‘uniqueness’ was something never discussed in youth too much. Feelings were something kept inside, at bay. The exposure made everyone feel more vulnerable and vulnerability in youth is a sensitive emotion that can destroy a life easily. So we went about lives ignoring each other’s short comings, those of us that were picked on because of ours and having to ignore the popular kids’ defects.

I am not really sure, looking back, if every imperfection was noticed by others. I just think, as a youth, we are focused heavily on each and every one. By staying quiet, I drew less attention to me and felt less of a target of ridicule. But eventually, as I aged into adulthood, I came out of my shell.  It was out of necessity.

Being a mother turned me into a mouthpiece for my children. As a single mom, if not me, who would have spoken up? When coaches were needed for my kids teams,  my hand went up. And with that involvement came confidence and growing up for me, as well as my kids. This led to me converting to an extrovert more by necessity.

There are advantages of being extroverted, I have found. I am comfortable talking to strangers and asking others about their story. Learning from others is a great way to grow. I have no problem debating, standing up for what I believe in and I quit avoiding confrontation. I enjoy public speaking which was something I use to dread.

The disadvantages are numerous also. I set myself up to be a target also for hostility. Expressing my view, when it is not the norm, makes others upset with me and wishing I would shut up.   Confronting others is often seen as being mean or argumentative because many expect everyone to conform. Conformity is over-rated. That has led to far too many problems in society today though.  Each individual should have an innate right to disagree and express it without being judged. 

One style is not better or worse between introversion or extroversion.  And some people fluctuate between the two, depending on the situation. In fact current research is now indicating most people are a combination of both.  Regardless of how you decide to categorize yourself, find a way to share your ideas and thoughts. The more everyone does, the more enriched we are as a society. Don’t wait for someone else to say what you want said.  It may never be expressed and always lay dormant.  At the very least, write it down. Expression can come from spoken word or from the written. 

Expression is a blending of your imagination and the artwork of the mind.

Dabble with a Drabble

I recently learned about drabbles, a term I had never heard before. Drabbles are short fiction stories that are exactly 100 words. It is a great test, as a writer, of the ability to use brevity of word choice and be concise. Not always is this necessary but when needed, having this skill set is advantageous. I decided to test my ability to write a drabble.

As I sat down and attempted to come up with a subject matter, no fictional ideas came to me. So much of what I write about is non-fiction. I found myself continually coming back to a story I wanted to tell. It was about another writer that has been reaching out and helping me quite a bit in becoming a better writer and more astute. I realized, it may not be categorically a ‘drabble’ but it would give me the experience and practice of writing one. Beyond that, if the story moves me, perhaps it might be more likely to move the reader. So I wrote my piece, confining myself to exactly 100 words with a beginning, a middle and an end per the requirements of a drabble.   I share it with you, my followers. 

The background story is the talented writer friend has suffered with a short coming for over a year now.  This has directly affected her ability to write. She has focused her energy instead on another gift she has which still shows her God given talent to touch others.  

Commercializing Love, My Valentine

I have always found it funny that kids give out Valentine’s Day cards. The commercial holiday about saying I love you to your significant other quickly became a marketing tool for selling cards and candy to even kids.  And parents fell for it, whole-heartedly!  What we do in the name of LOVE.

Valentine’s greetings in written form started in the 1400’s. Valentine’s Day is not just celebrated in the United States but also in Canada, the United Kingdom, Mexico, France and Australia.  All Valentine’s wishes were hand-written until the 1900’s when printing technology had developed. From then on, cards were printed.  Valentine’s Day sends the second largest volume of cards of any holiday, right behind Christmas.

One of the most amazing facts around the holiday in the USA is that 58 million pounds of chocolate candy are sold every Valentine’s Day week. That's a great volume of sugar making for one hyper nation!  145 million Valentine’s Day cards are bought, exchanged and mailed each year.  As of 2018, sales for jewelry are $4.7 Billion and $2 Billion on flowers. Total spend for Valentine’s Day holiday is $19.6 Billion per the National Retail Federation.  What a great deal of expense to express an emotion of LOVE. Wouldn’t it be cheaper to simply say “I love you?”

I worked in a Lingerie department years ago. Leading up to Valentine’s Day, men flocked to the department.  They all were looking for something red or an intimate sexy item.  None of them seemed to have a clue of what size their wives wore.  The cell phone images some had of their wives revealed a bad estimate on their parts.  And head shots guys are not helpful in estimating sizes for women's clothing!   We were routinely asked, based on OUR body type, what size they should buy.

This is a hard call for anyone in sales, especially when it is a gift from a husband to his wife. None of us wanted to start a World War in a home.  Hence, we usually took the same approach, suggest they estimate with a teeny bit of direction and go with the smaller of the two sizes so as to make certain all is kosher on the home front!

It was rather amusing how many of the gifts seemed to be purchased for themselves. Many men are bold shoppers and made no secret of it either. We really did not need to hear this or ANY particulars!  I am certain their significant others did not want us to as well as many were frequent shoppers with us which is why they were told to come there.

Some men brought their children in shopping with them into the lingerie department. Valentine's shopping for the sole purpose of buying pajamas or a nightgown is one thing but sexy items is another. And thong undies all lace is not something kids want to see!  Some purchases and fathers checking out items for their mommies seemed abit much for the kiddies!  To make it even more uncomfortable, some men would ask their children to help pick out item choices and it was real clear the children were not happy-campers picking out mommy’s sexy outfits or undies!

Regarding children, I still find it comical that children in grade school have to buy cute paper cards and hand them out to all their classmates. Well actually, if their parents work, which most do these days, their parents have to go pick out and buy Valentine’s cards for the kids to take to school. Many of the cards taken to school don’t even have the names of the kids in the class on the envelopes anymore, if they are placed in there. The kids find it as much of a hassle as the parents. It has become the "Total No Name Game", their first experience at "Speed Dating" and "Flash Friends." What happened to giving the cutest ones in the box to your best friends? At least keep that tradition, poor kids.

Can you believe that the kids at school are giving cards with hearts on them to the classmates they ignore, the ones they taunt and tease, and even worse yet, the ones they bully?  Wouldn’t a card saying I am sorry or I will stop be more loving and appropriate?

What’s more, the child that is harassed by other students is made to give an I LOVE you Valentine’s Day card to other kids that make his life a living hell.   What’s normal about that?  Doesn’t that give a bully another chance to knock him in the head as he walks by? How about a card that says Good luck finding true LOVE with an attitude like yours? That seems like a better card to the bullies in the class. And the mean girls, why can't the card's back say "Get out of the Dark Side."

One year I went through some of my grand-kids cards post-Valentine’s Day. Wow, you can deduct a few things looking through them. First, it’s easy to see which parents bought them last year on clearance, the characters are passé!  You have the cards with the children who write sweet little words on the back with their signature, so darling, so few.  There is that other group that at least write their name so you know who it’s from. The other group is  the lazy group, nothing there, just a blank back. No name, no shame. Parents are AOL and the kid doesn’t care about the dang cards either.  They probably feel like me about the whole card thing and are only interested in the candy at the Valentine’s Day party.

The cards manufactured for children say some real stupid things. Why can't they come up with original material after all these years? It is bad when the kids tell you that too!  The lines are right up there with the Conversation Hearts but the cards aren’t edible, unfortunately. You would be real popular in class if they were.  They’d hold that box of hearts while eating them a whole lot longer than they are ever going to hold that paper card. It’ll be pitched inside of 24 hours. But they will feel loved by all their classmates for having gotten them, right?

This tradition with passing out cards in schools for Valentine’s began in the 1930’s when cards became Mass produced. It is a waste of money for the children living in poverty and feel they have to conform. Cut back on eating to buy Valentine's, somewhere to somebody that makes sense.   Do kids in school really care about reading a whole bunch of cards? It’s hard enough to get them to read their text books.

Perhaps this is why some areas are banning the celebration of Valentine's in schools. They feel the time spent is unnecessary, in states like Florida.  If it is deemed essential and American because of the message, even to children, let’s start insisting employers give employees time off of work to celebrate too. At least adults are old enough to know what love is.

And so it goes, the money we spend for Valentine's Day, for LOVE.

How Marketing 101 dictates our actions. If you look up the definition of LOVE anywhere, in the dictionary, encyclopedia or just google it, nowhere does it mention buying candy, flowers, jewelry, or sending cards. It’s just possible Valentine’s Day is sending the wrong message and that it isn’t even about the color red or a heart shape. It is entirely possible showing

LOVE is as simple as the little things you do for those that are the most important in your life even more so than what you buy and what you say. Real LOVE doesn’t have a price tag but is sweet and priceless!

I don’t despise Valentine’s Day, I have confectionery hearts in my home too!  Happy Valentine's Day to you & yours! 

Life Just Keeps Getting Better!

Birthday celebrations, oh yes,

Provide the backdrop of snapshots

Of what we were back then,

Little snots, tiny tots.

And the mirror with our friends today,

Provides a dead giveaway

We have lost some of our youthful look,

Our past grace, there is just a very small trace!

We celebrate other’s birthdays, laugh as they age,

And relish it’s not ours!

Celebrating each moment

We get to enjoy under the stars.

I hope you know I am feeling melancholy

About the days that have come and gone

So many trials and tribulations

The letters wrote starting, Dear John.

Missed opportunities for me

But I’d not change a thing

Because through it all

Faith always rings

To celebrate another year

Sometimes feels like a punch in the gut

Especially when I realize

I am doing it with a bunch of nuts!

But I remind myself that God

He always shows me the way,

People are brought together,

And some are meant to stay, to play,

And be there for my birthday!

Closet Cleansing

Cleaning out your house is like doing inventory on your mind. Over a relatively short period of time, we can easily accumulate so many items. Unlike carpetbaggers, who would refer to this this as removable baggage some would it call garbage. Perhaps it should be relegated to the curb!  And your mind, it must be routinely de-cluttered as well.

As I began a project of working from room to room cleaning out closets, I was shocked to find out how many miscellaneous ‘things’ I had. Mind you, most had very little value and were waiting for a purpose. Each one was taking up space and collectively, they were piling up needed space for either newer items or simply freedom.  In my mind, freedom is room to roam without constraints.  My closet needs room to breathe much as my mind needs room to grow.

The work of cleaning out the clutter of the house is a trip down memory lane as the items collected in one’s lifetime are all representative of some moment in time.  Each moment should have been some stepping stone to future growth, a revelation. If the possessions served no purpose, why hold on to them?  What is the point of simply hanging on to items to fill space?  My closets can only hold so much and my mind may have an unlimited amount of resources but my ability to retain it, at this age, has serious limitations. I don’t need frivolous junk floating in there. Pitch the unnecessary, unneeded, the dirty and begin anew.

Any item that was old, I evaluated. Does this bring me pleasure or pain?  Living today, in the moment is key to happiness, the present and the future. Staring in the windshield too long is a surefire way to get smashed with what’s coming up ahead. How often do we hold onto painful memories wishing they would be different and knowing they never will?  Seeing items that bring up disappointments should be considered carefully if they hold value clinging in the cobwebs or not. Just as in the mind, should your mind be filled with memories so vivid constantly that you are unable to process what is going on around you?  Should anyone from your past steal your joy today?  If the items are worrisome, get rid of them. They have served their purpose.

As my pile grew, the items I was giving away, I realized how many happy hands and faces would receive it. These would be people who would have empty closets and be grateful to fill them. The irony did not escape me that I was working on not only decluttering my house but my mind. These receivers were focused on so much smaller demands in life than I, survival. The irony of having so much is wanting so much more. Having so little entails being satisfied with so much less. Aye, we with plenty have much to learn.

And so, as my closets became more open, my mind became clearer. I realized I needed to be more committed to not hanging on to so many thoughtless items. I also recognized my desire to be less focused on the frivolous things in my life and more balanced and determined to concentrate on what matters most to me. Cleaning out cobwebs is hard work. It shouldn’t be done by the light hearted. And once done, it should undo a web of clutter in the house and mind.

Community Christmas Home Tour

The community I live in does a Christmas Home Tour every year. This is the first year I have

attended. This being my 3rd Christmas here in Florida, I admit I was excited to finally attend.

The idea of people opening their homes to let others walk through them to see their decorations for Christmas seems stressful to me. It is a great deal of work. In addition to excessive decorations, it also requires quite a bit of cleaning and planning.

It was so impressive to see the personality of each home we went through reflected in their Christmas tree, and in many cases, multiple trees. The style of decorating was as unique as the host and hostesses were and each home owner was as personable as the next. There were stories to be told about so many of the items in their homes, how they came to be, where they came from, who made them, etc...

As I toured each home, I tried to catch a few pictures here and there.  I decided, after reviewing them,  to put together a video to share some of the sights with my followers on my blog. It truly was inspiring to see their homes.

May you be inspired to open your homes and your hearts in 2019 to those you know and perhaps to even a few strangers and let your light shine in their lives.  Happy New Year!  Click for Video