Perfectly Flawed

Whoever really fits in, if their honest with everyone around them 100% of the time?  Each individual has idiosyncrasies, it is just some are more obvious than others. And yet, so many form who they   What happens to those who feel flawed inside, willing to admit it and yet are unaccepted because of it?  What damage is done to these individuals in society? Are they embraced or belittled?

choose to associate with and accept in their inner circle as those who have a clone set of norms that are deemed “popular” or “acceptable”.

Dan was adopted at the age of 10 days old to a military family stationed in Texas. It was a working couple unable to have children excited to have a child. He was a cute Hispanic boy with no health problems.  He lived a normal childhood, attending private elementary school, raised in a Christian family, an avid basketball player and known for being more of an introvert.  Friday nights were known as Pizza night at the Bronold’s house.

Dan, in some ways, is no different than so many other young men’s stories of today. Constant pressure to fit in, doubts about being loved based on knowing a mother gave him up as a baby and then being belittled for other attributes others saw as short comings. 

Within his family, he was given love, support and direction. What he chose was to listen to the doubts he had and the wrong crowd labeling him with negative connotations verses how his family was trying to bring him up. He became misguided as he was pulled towards the wrong crowd encouraging him as they were more accepting of him and he was sensitive to wanting acceptance.  Thus began a spiral of ups with more downs.

Dan’s life of 33 years touched many.  At a Celebration of Life, in a room overflowing, people were there of all walks of life, all ages to celebrate the goodness of a man, his contribution, his hardships and his laughter. He had a father who spoke of all the memories of a child and a man that brought goodness in the world and not of a hateful person or one that was worthy of being outcast because people didn’t understand Dan’s differences.

The sadness in the large ballroom that day was over what was lost, all that Dan could have been.  There were memories everyone there could have shared and were never going to experience. Expressed by some in small circles were the persecution he suffered for far too many years. There was also disappointment felt that day that he had given up on himself, feeling his value was so low that he made the decision to make poor choices when his value was so high. Everyone was committed to making his life continue to have far greater purpose and let Dan know putting others down will never win in the end.

Flawed human beings are all of us, they are you, me, they are the ones you will never meet. The lessons of Dan’s life is continuing to impact countless human beings, most of all those that knew him, loved him and spent time with him or heard his story. His memorial fund, The Dan Bronold Memorial Fund helps teens at risk every year change directions and families know acceptance matters. Everyone who hears his story recognizes bad choices can be corrected if caught early and if left alone, have dire consequences. Time putting others down is wrong on every level; it does not make the world a better place. It ruins lives and destroys futures. It is not something seen or heard or felt on the outside but deeps impacts the inside of an individual. It erodes emotionally a person’s self-worth.  It has a far reaching destruction; ugly words can be catastrophic yet are so callously thrown around these days in schools, work places and yes even by adults in social settings and neighborhoods. In the meantime, thousands of adults sit around blaming youth for hate and meanness in society.

Acceptance of the flaws of others is mandatory for a civilization to prosper well and have kindness and authenticity. Dan now knows his flaws were designed by God. Don't wait till it is too late to learn this lesson. When you find yourself the butt of gossip by others for being less than perfect, remember you are perfectly flawed and not hopeless. Know they are flawed also, simply unwilling to share it or admit it, just feel perhaps more arrogant to put down yours.  Know that there is an angel in heaven named Dan with a smirk on his face 😂.  Those of us that knew Dan  well remember it clearly; he is looking down on you that are slightly out of step with encouragement to move forward with your life with unbridled passion!

• If you would like to donate to the Dan Bronold Memorial Fund, please send to:

Midcourse Correction Camp

Attn: Dan Bronold Memorial Fund

833 E. Grand River Ave

Howell, MI  48843
 E. Grand River Ave. Howell, Michigan 43833 E. Grand River Ave. Howell, Michigan 48843

https://www.midcoursecorrection.org/

Daniel James Bronold - Missing You

When the call came, time stood still. My husband’s only son was dead, my step son was gone from us and we stood in the kitchen in shock. Never to see him again or hear his voice seemed so painful, like a bad nightmare we would wake up from. But it is our reality we must live with, and so must all of those that have been touched by Dan in their lives. We must go on and so it is with those that you love that God finds they need to find their peace in heaven. Dan needed that, to be free of whatever was creating storm clouds in his heart. But it is with some frustration that I wrote this below and delivered it at his memorial service this past Sunday, March 25, 2012. Dan has been a mainstay in the news in Michigan with his death. He has become more of a news story than a human being. Let us not forget Dan was a son, a father, a significant other, a boyfriend, a step son, a step brother, a friend, and a Christian. And what else could he have been? I can only imagine…………………………………


Dear Dan,

I can only imagine what your life is like now. What you must see every day, how you must feel being free and at peace. I can see and feel that you smile in the heavens much like the sun gleams when it hits the white snow capped mountains or the ocean waves and reflects back the strong summer rays of sun.

Oh, knowing you are happy is wonderful to feel and sense but the pain we feel inside, that is real too. You seem so young in so many ways. It seems like yesterday you were among us, with that silly little smirk we all have come to know and love. We have all heard the stories of how you kicked butt at basketball ripping up the courts with your 3 on 3 in street high school games. You really rocked it man! For a big guy, you could really move it when you wanted to win! Guess those skills started with all those days watching basketball with your dad over Subway sandwiches all those years ago. Yeah, I am sure that had something to do with it.

I know you and your mom had a very special connection. No doubt it had its up and downs. Heck who doesn’t argue with their folks? But through it all there was that unmistakable love. You always knew she wanted the best for you and you wanted to make her proud. You wanted both your parents to be proud of you. And you tried, tried hard to pull it together. Sometimes things just don’t happen the way you would like. You dug down deep some times and other times, you took the easy way out. When you thought you dodged a bullet, another one came your way and you barely escaped. This time, this last time, you didn’t. Wow, none of us really thought this would be the end. The end of our time with you here on earth. We are in shock still somewhat Dan.

It is so easy to sit back now and say we wish you had listened to all the good advice and ignored all the bad advice thrown at you. I guess it is often times hard to know which is which when you are growing up. So much noise and so many voices. You were not happy inside and trying to always find your voice and never quite found it, but never gave up trying and for that Dan, you can be proud. You tried dude. We loved you man in spite of your faults and misgivings. We all wanted you to make it. We wanted you to find your piece of happiness and come to know peace. We just didn’t want it to be this way.

We know you have faith; we know you believe in the Lord. We know you are in His presence and we know He was with you in your final hours. Dan we think you knew at that last minute you breathed your last breath on this earth; the Lord God was with you Dan. He was there to lift you up out of that jail cell to internal freedom. He heard your pleas for help; he knew the struggle needed to end. You were not going to be condemned to damnation; you were forgiven and allowed to be at peace. Your torment is over. Your struggles serve as reminders to those that knew you that life can be hard. They serve as a witness to bad choices can put us in bondage and put chains around us so that we too can find ourselves wearing shackles, if not physically, metaphorically.

You were a precious child of God when you came into the world Dan, and you left this world in the same way, a precious child of God. You loved life but you died hating it. You loved God and you left this earth loving Him still. Amen! Please know that the day you left us, we were and still are loving you.

Dan, I will always remember your smile and smile when I remember you!