I often wondered, when I was little, would I always be an
introvert. I did not have the confidence
to speak up. Conformity was important because I did not want to stand out. I
In reality, I never really was even close. I was tall,
skinny and just plain different. In retrospect, so was everyone else. All kids
were unusual in their own ways. With some, it was obvious, but perhaps
overlooked. In others, it was extremely clear. There were those with a lisp, a birth defect,
ragged clothes, unattractive, lower IQ, etc..
How they dealt with their ‘uniqueness’ was something never
discussed in youth too much. Feelings
were something kept inside, at bay. The exposure made everyone feel more vulnerable
and vulnerability in youth is a sensitive emotion that can destroy a life
easily. So we went about lives ignoring each other’s short comings, those of us
that were picked on because of ours and having to ignore the popular kids’
defects.
I am not really sure, looking back, if every imperfection was
noticed by others. I just think, as a youth, we are focused heavily on each and
every one. By staying quiet, I drew less attention to me and felt less of a
target of ridicule. But eventually, as I aged into adulthood, I came out of my
shell. It was out of necessity.
Being a mother turned me into a mouthpiece for my children. As
a single mom, if not me, who would have spoken up? When coaches were needed for
my kids teams, my hand went up. And with
that involvement came confidence and growing up for me, as well as my kids. This
led to me converting to an extrovert more by necessity.
There are advantages of being extroverted, I have found. I
am comfortable talking to strangers and asking others about their story. Learning
from others is a great way to grow. I have no problem debating, standing up for
what I believe in and I quit avoiding confrontation. I enjoy public speaking which
was something I use to dread.
The disadvantages are numerous also. I set myself up to be a
target also for hostility. Expressing my view, when it is not the norm, makes
others upset with me and wishing I would shut up. Confronting
others is often seen as being mean or argumentative because many expect
everyone to conform. Conformity is over-rated. That has led to far too many
problems in society today though. Each
individual should have an innate right to disagree and express it without being
judged.
One style is not better or worse between introversion or
extroversion. And some people fluctuate
between the two, depending on the situation. In fact current research is now
indicating most people are a combination of both. Regardless of how you decide to categorize
yourself, find a way to share your ideas and thoughts. The more everyone does,
the more enriched we are as a society. Don’t wait for someone else to say what
you want said. It may never be expressed
and always lay dormant. At the very
least, write it down. Expression can come from spoken word or from the written.
Expression is a blending of your imagination and the artwork of
the mind.
