No More Walls

With the Presidential Election coming up, and so many issues of utmost concern to the general public being raised. I think it is important that we all have a voice and be vocal about those concerns we, as citizens have in our everyday lives.

Social media is allowing us to see the concerns that others have and also know that we are not alone in our worries.  Some of the various issues and stressors we face many of our neighbors in our very same communities to do.

Recently I was linked to a site called NextDoor.com and I am continually seeing growing concerns over the same topic over and over for at least as long as the Presidential campaign has been running. I would like to speak out on behalf of the citizens that are finding this issue intolerable and are writing such emails that are full of hatred and condemnation comments and accusatory in nature. I think these are serving to segregate our neighborhoods as opposed to unifying them much like our country. 

In years past, when security within neighborhoods was a major concern, watchdog groups were set up and established. Police officers came into communities and helped neighborhoods set up safety patrols right within their very streets they lived.  This was extremely effective. It discouraged bad  delinquent behavior and violators were caught.

So I am advocating someone take the bull by the horn and suggest our elected running public officials add on to their current campaign issues mandatory Poop Patrol but have it pushed back to the States to be handled in each individual community.  There is far too much animosity building from neighbors being accused of leaving droppings in other people’s yards. This is harmful to our children to be raised in communities where vile things are being said right within their very homes when at times, the perpetrator may be their very own BFF!

Just recently, I received an email via social media, as did everyone connected in my subdivision where each of us was called out as being uncivilized and worthy of having bagged dog poop placed back in our yard.  My fear was that I would walk out to discover some dog’s manure on my property when my dog’s droppings are always proudly disposed of in Target bags, be it the occasional Wal-Mart bag.

I have read several heated exchanges over the dog’s duty not being properly, shall we say, scooped up.   I fear the day is going to be forthcoming where neighbors may begin labeling others and become somewhat biased towards others that are dog-owners. As a dog owner, I do not wish to be discriminated against simply because of someone else’s lack of doing the right thing, proper due diligence.

The only reasonable course of action, as this problem seems to be unfolding in many other neighborhoods across social media, is to take a universal approach.  Poop patrols should be advocated and be a bipartisan measure.  Each state should advocate communities push neighborhoods to delegate someone to monitor social media.  This stream of emails, postings and chatter must be curtailed early on and the watch dogs need to be within the very areas they are occurring thus, saving tax payers money on this issue. Who wants to put out money for a Poop Control, seriously?  As a side note, it is extremely distasteful to be eating a snack, checking email and read these disgusting detailed emails about doggie messes in the yard.  Where has the discretion gone in America?

Please, if you agree, start a petition to your local representative for the need for action for Poop Reform.

If not, the next measure could be neighbors building unbreachable walls in their yards and charging the offending dog owners the cost of construction!

Embracing Aging Changes

Well, it is finally here, it is happening. I knew it was coming but wasn’t sure how it would play out. With my husband retiring in October, we begin a new chapter of our life. This is the time of trying to eliminate more stress and spending more quality time together.  As we are getting older, the focus has to be on making memories to last the latter part of our lifetime. Tomorrow may be fleeting or may not come at all.

Thus, we are moving, very soon. And of all places, further south. This girl, born in Long Island, New York, was raised in Ohio.  With marriage I moved to Kentucky to raise my two children, mostly on my own, struggling and trying to give them the mother I wish mine I had been, making the sacrifices the best I could. I was at school functions, field trips, and letting them playing competitive soccer where we traveled all over the place while working full-time.

I landed up marrying the man of my dreams and moving to Tennessee which has been my home for the last 16 years.  So hard to believe the home I live in is the longest I have ever lived in one house in my life. I look around and see so many memories, happy, funny, touching and sad ones. A bedroom where I laid fighting cancer, a TV room where my grandson made tents of sofa

cushions and we hid underneath them eating snacks. I see a kitchen that was remodeled and remember nights I walked the floor when one of my grand-kids refused to sleep all night when he slept over.  Dog dishes that my youngest grandson, at the time, Jake refused to stay out of when he was crawling. And as I look out the back, I swear I still see Dan, though he is in heaven, in the skyline, watching down over his father to let him know he is at peace.

The new chapter will be further away from so many friends, as we venture to Florida, to an unknown area. I am nervous, scared and abit melancholy. But I know my husband’s parents always wanted to retire to Florida and his dad didn’t live quite long enough to get the chance. Now Jim is living out their dream. We are making their wish, in a sense, come true.

As we take a big step towards a community of folks like us, wanting to be a part of a fun, active lifestyle where we embrace each other’s goodness and stay active, we must feel blessed. God is allowing us to change. After praying for answers, they came. With a price of course, as every change brings sacrifice. No longer can I see some of my friends, children and grand-kids on a whim. But love ties don’t end or stop with distance. Traveling to visit is essential and that time will be cherished and plentiful!

I know for myself, one of the scariest parts of moving away from an area I have called home for so long  is moving further away from folks I hold dear, some people I love so much.  After a great deal of reflection and

prayer, I realize God is leading me down this path. He taught me that some of the most painful experiences in life are also the most important ones.  Those that love you will always be there for you and you are blessed to be there for them, no matter what occurs, no matter where you live. Just as God is always with us, a great friend and a loving family member will  love you unconditionally and have steadfast loyalty and faith in the relationship. Distance does not deter the quality of a relationship, if it truly exists.

On the flip side, if someone is lost so easily by moving away, the bond

may not have been there at all. And some were lost from my life long before this move. Once again I experienced that adage, loving someone, giving all you have to give, does not ensure those feelings will be returned. This is perhaps one of the most painful experiences for me in my home here in Nashville. There is a time to give, and there is a time to give up trying. God has helped me see the light and recognize who he has put in my life that is meant to stay. I also more clearly see If someone is not open to God, it is hard for them to be open to the idea of unconditional love, non-judgmental attitudes, acting respectful, and having a faith of action.  

So as we look to the future, to a new chapter, may you all find that, as you age, you not forget, embrace your age. No matter what it is, recognize that you are called to make changes. Staying well within your comfort zone is easy; making difficult choices is hard, ones that require you to take a leap of faith again, like you did when you were younger.

A true testament to your faith in God is spreading your wings in new directions.  Put your faith in action. If you are still here aging, your life should continue to have meaning and you should seek out new experiences, learning opportunities and continued growth. 

Time is precious. Moving on hurts but is called faith in God’s plan. My grandchildren hold the keys to my heart, right below my husband, who is obviously below God.  I would, without a doubt say my son Michael has been a cornerstone in my life always and will always be, no matter where I live.  No distance would ever change my unconditionally love for him nor his sister. May you still find my blog of interest written from a new location! And to age with grace means changes should be embraced! 

A video is attached with just a few Kodak Moments of images taken from inside our home over the years. The memories we carry forever in our hearts.  For Video Click Here

Pieces of Memories

I never thought of myself as a hoarder. However the word defined is "someone who accumulates a supply that is hidden or carefully guarded for preservation for future use." When we think of “hoarding” these days, not in the word’s origin, in the early 19^th century, it is more of a dysfunctional behavior. Hoarders are individuals that have stock piles in their homes of anything and everything that make their houses deemed unfit for living, health hazards. As I have packed belongings for selling our home for downsizing and moving, I have realized I have held on to far too many possessions.

Eight years ago, facing cancer, I realized, revising my Will, the most important things I was taking with me were my memories. None of the belongings I had acquired could I take on that final trip, that everlasting vacation, of sorts, to the Gates of Heaven. Once they opened, I wouldn’t look back and would never come back to anyone left behind. And, I would go in to a place with the same thing I came into this world with, no possessions.

Yet, I was confronted with trying to come up with, aside from money, what possessions I have that have value. It is funny, when I thought about it, because value has two meanings, monetary and emotional. There is the charm bracelet my daughter gave me on her first honeymoon. Every stop she made on her cruise she got me a charm and put it on a charm bracelet. I have that but I also have expensive gem rings from my husband. What items would hold value to my children or grandchildren?

 I also thought about so many friends I have met along the way and my sisters, my nieces and nephews? I loved them and wanted to leave a piece of me behind with them. I wanted them to know I loved them after I was dead and wanted them to be touched I thought of them after I died. What could I leave, what item? And then I asked myself was it necessary to do so for them to even know that?

So I scanned my house and tried to come up with all the items, stressing about it while in chemotherapy. Looking at my list, when I typed it up, I quickly realized the items meant more to me than they ever would mean to anyone else. I thought about what I had from one of the dearest people I lost, my Grandma Gliatti.   My colorful bandanna that she had on her head on one vacation she took with us. And that one article was all I needed, nothing more. So here I was wasting precious time of my life worrying about items, things, possessions that would matter not to those people.  So I left my list alone and walked away from it, leaving it probably not intact, but not caring. I realized it really didn’t matter in the end.

Fast forward to now, as I went through room after room, trying to decide what to pitch, give away and pack. Many things have changed in my life. I have lost relationships that I treasured, gained some, and picked up a few items I value. There are a few people I love in my life that I doubt would want any reminders of me, life can be cruel that way.  Do I hold on to those things in the hope, when I die, they will have a change of heart and at least want those items? What if I take the space to hold on to some things people don’t even want? I begun to see the same old pattern here, I have a hard time letting go of things and attach way too much meaning and emotions to items.

What struck me the most was the sheer quantity of what I have. Amazing how many things one accumulates. How could I do that and not even realize it! I recall a week ago standing in the garage and telling my husband that not only was he a hoarder but I was as well. I have held on to far too many possessions. Yes, the woman who had realized when she had cancer and was writing a will realizing my items were, in reality, worthless, was stressing over each one, item by item.

The reason I stress, and so many others react the same way is because attached to each is a memory, like my grandmother’s bandanna. But the truth is, even if, in

the move, that bandanna was lost, that memory would be as alive as if it were yesterday. And the possessions I sit and ponder over what to take, who to give them to, will be too. The memories they represent will be with me no matter where I call home. Those that care about me will have those memories and those that have shut the door on having a relationship with me I can hold on to the memory with or without the item that represented them in my life. 

God really allows us this amazing ability to take our lives’ experiences with us where ever we go. With each item left behind, given or sold, for a few moments, I feel a little bit sad. In a matter of a few more moments, the Holy Spirit reminds me of the precious beautiful memories attached to each and every item.  I then can look at the sky and realize they still live within me, and always will.  

Is More Negativity What We Need?

Negativity is becoming so prevalent on social media these days, especially with the presidential election campaign in high gear and major issues at stake.  The volume of messages from all angles is staggering that contain downright cruel, condescending damning statements of other individuals that most know very little of and yet seem to feel it is well within their right to make deep seeded judgments about.  It is as if the masses become judges or Godlike with the ability to condemn others for sinning.

Messages are sent out on the digital media sites saying the poor that benefit from social welfare programs are fat and lazy.  Never have so many people who need help and are in dire straits due to no fault of their own been so harshly judged because of some that take advantage of the system.  Do these derogatory statements have any lasting effect on the people that read them that use these programs? Or, other messages being posted and circulated slamming people for their opposing viewpoints asking if people are morons for following so and so, etc?

There is a duality in our brain as to how we view the world, positive and negative.  This seems pretty simple but it is, like our bodies, pretty complex.  So many things shape our perception. Anthropologist Clause Levi-Strauss research and studies show, and many others confirm,  negativity always seems to win over positivity.  

Science steps into this equation too. Many researchers want to know how much of negative thoughts are influenced by the brain pathology. Ohio State conducted a study on the “negativity bias” of our brains.  They actually located a certain area of the brain that gets stimulated and found increased neural firing when negative images are viewed.  The end result of this type of knowledge gained from this study is there’s more information processing taking place on negative stimuli than positive inputs into the brain.

CNN, MSNBC, ABC and social media is abuzz with one thing in common: negativity. Thus, even if you switch to a positive channel or image, your brain is still hardwired for the negative for a time.  You are, in a sense, supercharged  with negativity. This is also true of all the negative messages on social media, they trigger your brain to stay in the negative mode.

The significance of this is not good for our society, our relationships and our health.   Much as, in years past, aggressive video games were found to be a link to violent behavior with children, subconsciously the same is true with adults and negative messaging centers in the brain. Science is uncovering that the major downside of negative messaging is it penetrates the way we think and act without us even being fully aware of it.

Step back and recall news programs in the past. Reporters came on and simply told the who, what, when, where and why. Thus, they were given the name “report-er.”  Today, these employees with the same title work for stations with a slant on the news, biased reporting and wanting to promote scandalous stories.  Accuracy is not nearly as big of an issue; a sense of decency towards anyone doesn’t matter as much as increased ratings.  Questions that are asked of people are unfathomable sometimes.  Tact is not important and someone without it gets more airtime than someone diplomatic because it sells.

On the political campaign, the slant is so obvious on news outlets that it almost feels like the media is deciding who voters should vote for based on their coverage, air time and their political pundits.  Is this how the country is supposed to work? Where is fair representation and putting forward positive messaging of issues and all candidates so America can learn about each? 

Many candidates are torn to shreds even before the election in voters' state has started.  This makes supporters feel like losers if the candidate is low in poll rankings they follow when the media and social messages start attacking him/her.  

Young people see the television coverage and the posts on social media. For many, this is the first time they will vote. Psychologists know early adulthood development has more difficulty with sound reasoning.  Influencing new voters with pounding negative messages is not a sound foundation for this young people or our country. They deserve better and so does our country.

The pervasiveness on social media and news fronts of hostility is alarming. Apparently it is fast becoming a feeding frenzy with an insatiable appetite developing across the county. People are less concerned about others feelings and when someone expresses a disagreement or an opposing view, they are receiving horrendous feedback, irrelevant of the topic.   Hating other candidates, other races, and others that don't share your views is individual's rights but to express them publicly and damn them is bullying behavior that is detrimental to our society at large.  You have no way of knowing who or how badly you are hurting someone.  

 There are so many people suffering from mental illness in the world.  These people, just like many others, are concerned about homelessness, health insurance, joblessness, police shootings, economy, terrorism, etc...  For some, social media has been a safe haven to the world and now, it is mass stress and drama of hate.  Simply because someone disagrees  is not a reason to be  cruel on any topic, when did society, in particular the United States, become so anti-tolerant of others' right to differ in opinions and express them?   Negativity not only spreads quicker in our society  it triggers more in the brain and stays there longer.

Colleges across the country were polled and asked if they felt social media is making society more hostile.  80% or greater said yes in several random studies. In regards to recent studies specifically on the current Presidential campaign, recent surveys done show as high as 78% have witnessed outright arguments with "hateful words exchanged."   The posts and  tweets are not promoting issues and supporting candidates, they are insulting other candidates and other people for supporting them.  Citizens are allowing themselves to become an extension of the news media, negative news sources anti-candidates or issues.   The impact this has on our society is not healthy.  Emotions carry over when you step away from the computer and the television.

Our country, our WORLD needs to continue to grow and prosper for everyone.  Crime rates need to decline continually.   Prayers are given daily for longer healthier lives.   The irony is this; it doesn’t matter who our leader is or what kind of money you make, negativity is on the rise and competes with these goals.  

The sun shines every day. That image, or in a text message form, won’t fire off as many neurons in your brain as  a candidate blasting another one as ineffective as a leader.  Babies are born daily and that is truly a miracle, a life-changer. Yet when someone is killed, your brain goes into super charge mode. But, what would you really rather focus on and have guide your mood, your life and interactions, a murder
 or the sun shining on a newborn baby?

Where did I put that Bucket List?

What you are waiting for?  Why haven’t you written and started working on that Bucket List? Don’t look around the room or move your eyes from side to side, I am talking to you. Lean in close to your screen - YOU! 

Do not wait till you hear the words, "You're going to die." It is not necessary to wait till your days are numbered to create one and begin working things off on it, crossing them off one at a time.  Trust me, by that time; it may be too late. Heck, you may be gone, being carried by angels up to the pearly gates. Then what are you going to tell the big guy in the sky when He asks you why you never did that trip you always talked about with your friends or that sky-dive you always dreamed about doing? 

Excuses don’t hold, they are like feeble attempts, kinda like avoiding neighbors. Sooner or later you run into them, sometimes literally! Create opportunities to do the things you desire not reasons not to. Hurdles can be worked around, jumped over with planning.  Put items on your bucket list on a priority scale and then decide You Are Worth It!

I was told when I got cancer, to start my list, all the things I wanted to do for my personal Bucket List. I have always heard these lists are supposed to be wild adventurous things. When you are flat on your back, sick as a dog, your list goes something like this: 

1) get out of bed 

2) eat pizza again 

3) be able to walk to the mailbox 

4) have hair to complain about/have a bad hair day 

5) be able to go out and not be tired

 6) go a week without seeing a doctor

So wrong to start bucket lists at that time, why not now?  Think about those things you want to do before you die, in your lifetime. Make plans; make baby steps to get there. Nobody will do it for you. One lifetime, one shot, make it happen!  Share it with others so they do the same, mirror your plan.  Start a chain reaction. Help others realize you don’t have to live day-dreaming, you can be a dream-maker. 

Oh my Bucket List got better as I improved. Things were added like Trip to Hawaii and it was done! Concert tickets to one of my favorite shows, done. And the important thing to remember is, as you cross one thing off, add another!  Make your life exciting and interesting, and diverse. Also, make that list not all about you, also about helping others! 

If the dream is too big, downsize it some but keep it close to what you want it to be. A life well lived is a life where dreams come true. But you have to make them happen. The first step is making a list. Be committed! Bucket lists are not just for the dying, 

IT IS FOR THE LIVING, 

LIVING FULLY AND LIVELY!         Just do it!  Bless you and your dreams!

Changing Our Perception of Promoting Candidates

I love how at election time everyone becomes authorities on both sides of the parties,  what is right on issues  and what is wrong, which candidates are the best and who represents what our country needs.  Folks seem to be the all-knowing expert on who is telling the truth and who is lying, simply based on who they support.  So many are unwilling to even listen to opposing views so steadfast in the fact their view is the only correct view.  

This segment knows, or thinks they do,  which media channel is reporting the facts, which story they are reading from different sources is accurate, and which candidate is a "bad person" and not worthy of being in the Oval Office. 

Normal everyday citizens, even the meek,  begin pulling out boxing gloves, begin talking like sailors at sea, pulling out daggers and throwing out hateful words with no forethought.  It seems to be irregardless of which side of the line they are on and which candidate.   Their devotion for who they support and who they now despise is so deep-seated you would think they know these individuals intimately, attended grade-school with them! Somehow it becomes in vogue to bully too. 

Is it any wonder  God-loving, family oriented average men never run for President anymore?  Take Colin Powell, for example,  or some past Presidents that seem picture clean,  like  George Washington or Lincoln.  They would be bad-mouthed, thrown under the bus and patronized.  Any bad decisions that either of them had made that caused citizens to lose any jobs, military personnel to have died or be captured, hostages taken anywhere on the globe, any terrorist act,  any act demonstrating a sign of a lack of character or ability to protect all of the nation or any security of any of our citizens would make their ability to govern be called into question. Poor leadership would be their legacy!   

 Making errors happens, not every great leader has a history of winning popularity awards, Congress is not kind to everyone that serves, many in public service can be arrogant, have had affairs, etc.. All the charges levied on both sides are nothing, unfortunately out of the ordinary.  We have had old Presidents, young Presidents, actors, different religions, and we have survived, some better so than others.  

Why must we do what the media are doing also, throw these candidates to the wolves as if we can do better in the role?  These candidates are human and are fallible, let's face that fact.  They are not the best the country has to offer, but they are the only ones willing to run for presidency. They will not get everything done they say they will, none ever do.  Like Obama, they will try, they will face obstacles and they may have secret agendas. Everyone does running, let's be real. Ever think maybe your expectation level is too high or maybe the focus is on the wrong things?  There are only so many things you can really know and also control. 

What originally made our country strong and a superpower was how we stood together unified, as in UNITED States.  We can't be strong tearing each other apart.  Targeting social media more on what we need and what the candidate you are supporting will bring to our country will help others know what they need to make an informed vote. That unites us and is a positive image for our country here and abroad. Repeatingly dogging candidates, saying they are worthless beings, our country will go to hell, is not positive messaging, is not helping undecided uninformed voters know who to vote for and certainly paints an unfavorable picture of someone who may be our future President to the world at large.  Let's think big picture here, our country is not an island, we are being watched by many.  Use your voice during the election process to educate not eradicate candidates. 

We have troops risking their lives daily overseas.  Imagine hearing and reading on social media all this negativity and how we think this candidate or that one is a loser, may land up being their Superior and may land up causing them to go to War and die?  Is that fair to those serving? Aren't they under enough stress?   Let's boost them up by talking about who the candidates are that will bring about the changes that will benefit our military the most!  Again, inform others why this candidate is our best military option!

 Negativity doesn't change the stalemate issues our government has been having bickering among each other.  Now we are seeing an inability to diffuse so much of the anger and hatred in America between voters.  With it building, we are becoming what we despise in other parts of the world.  Hatred towards candidates is not appropriate, these folks stopped their life to choose to run. 

 Your voice can change things.   Be sure you are registered and everyone you know is, including young people! First and foremost vote.  And secondly, if you are politically minded, get involved in some way, perhaps campaign for your candidate .  Tweet out information to the rest of us about a key issue that concerns you and the candidate that is supporting your stance on this issue so we better understand their plan to address it.   Let us know what are they going to do.   We don't want to hear why you don't think some other  person isn't  'worthy'  - that doesn't help someone make a choice.

A friend told me politics is dirty, it can't be cleaned up.  Well, I say change is possible. Our country use to be ruled by England and now we are free.  Change, though, starts with you, quit looking to others to make those changes.   You have the right to bitch, whine and point out everyone's faults, including mine. That is your freedom of speech.  But problems don't get solved by insulting each other.  We have seen that enough in Congress. It caused it to shut down. We have voices and let's use them to be positive, and share positive messages with each other about these candidates.  Whoever any of us vote for at the Presidential election, we need to get serious about making educated decisions about our leadership.  This vote must be for the individual we are convinced will bring the best to our  country in the four years they serve! Let's help each other to just that!  

God Bless America!

Can We Change the Future for Autistic Adults?

Most research on autism is performed on children.  The key areas where intervention occurs with children are in behavioral and educational functioning.  In these focused therapies, with children, there is undoubtedly marked improvement over time.   During adolescence or adulthood, mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression can worsen, even while the other issues of autism can become much more improved. Their needs will continue even if their other needs lessen. In some cases, those needs from childhood continue, dependent on their level of functioning.  Many autistic adults will need assistance regardless of the progress they make. 

It is so apparent that there is not much focus on the aging population of autism in our communities, support legally and legislatively for autistic adults, as there is for children.  Frequently, especially with those in the under-served low-income families, there is no support system in place. Even in the middle to upper class families, parents may die without having concrete plans in place because society doesn't have much to offer. The autistic adult can't function as well, if at all, in our world.   They are now dependent on others for aid that will not care to the extent their parents did. Consequently, they are at the mercy of a society that seems to not care as there is no real system in place. In a country where everyone's rights are supposed to be protected, their needs will not be met. Don't we still have a moral obligation to see that this occurs?

Making services available is ethically our responsibility as a civilized society for individuals that can’t provide for themselves. Everyone in our country is entitled to quality of life and this class of people should not be excluded. If you talk to parents and families of children with autism, this is by far one of their greatest worries, what happens to my child when they grow up, when we are gone? 

Some individuals with autism are unable to communicate well and many can’t communicate at all, especially when under stress and anxiety.  Assessment of their needs be it health, mental,  financial, living arrangements, basic care and feeding, should be assessed and  addressed routinely.  If employment can be provided for high functioning adults, this should be coordinated or assistance should be offered so they are contributing to their own well-being, as self-sufficient as possible.

One viable solution is to form Autism planning groups known as APG. Having read about this concept, it seems to be one of the best proactive ideas to date.  These would be committees comprised of concerned individuals from all areas of the community, including healthcare providers, business representatives, religious leaders,general population people, educators,  etc,  to formulate solutions, concrete development schedules, sites and financial backing.    

The purpose of the APGs again, would be to address the growing population of autistic adults’ future health and social needs. By starting the process of beginning training programs for care workers including volunteers for diagnosed, autistic adults of varying functioning levels to thrive at their level, the plan would be in place. Facilities could be built for living arrangements, job training programs could be established with connections to businesses willing to help, and  all the various factors and variables addressed.  The cost of a program in place would actually be far less than the current cost of having no system in place, especially when taken into account the huge growing number of autistic individuals in our country. 

Programs in place to address our growing population of autistic adults within communities would mainstream their needs  and make it  more of a seamless transition.  This will decrease stress to both the individuals, the families and the care providers. Furthermore, solutions will lessen the financial and emotional burden to communities.  It may also provide jobs, not just for the high-functioning autistic adults but those working in these types of programs.   Ultimately the end goal will be met, to provide and give this segment of the population the quality of life they deserve.

Consider that 3.5 Million Americans live with some degree of the autism spectrum currently according to the Autism Society Organization.   According to Advancing Future of Adults with Autism, the anticipation of an incredibly large population of autistic adults is increasingly being called  the "autism Tsunami" .  The economic cost of not having a working system in place is staggering dollar figures. In 2002, it was estimated to be  $126 Billion annually - it tripled by 2006.  And we live in a nation with an increasing debt continually facing cutbacks. This issue has to be addressed and quickly. 

If you are kidding yourself thinking you do not have a personal stake in this issue, caring for autistic adults in the future, because you do not have an autistic child, grandchild, niece, nephew, neighbor, you are wrong. We will all pay for these needs. And every challenge has a fix.  

Delivery of training, assessment, specialists to provide services, housing, drop-in advice, job placement assistance, is possible. It needs focus groups devoted to creating solutions. Consider lending your hand and pushing for your leaders to put this topic on their agenda this year. Quit eluding the autism Tsunami.” Solutions are needed and we must be proactive and not retroactive. Funding and focus is needed. The time is now or your conscious may be at stake.  Yes all lives do matter! Speak loudly, even louder, for those that cannot. 

Johnny Dean's Story

Dean McIntosch, Personal Statement, Adult w/Autism, UK

Save a Life Thru Social Media

Can you impact cancer by sitting in front of your computer?  If you use social media the answer is yes.  Will it make a huge difference if you do nothing else but send out messages? Without a doubt, affirmatively yes!

Celebrities are now publicly stating that they have a diagnosis of cancer.  This use to not be the case as  there was too much concern it would hurt their careers and that they would not get hired. Plus, going through treatment is hard enough without being scrutinized by society and media. 

Organizations have popped up, large and small to try to change that by making information readily available and seeking better treatment options.  Many organizations spend thousands of dollars doing this and trying to create support systems and change laws for better treatment options.  Research and recovery rates have improved.  Too often, in the past, cancer patients didn’t have enough assistance once they received the diagnosis so they chose to not get treatment. 

Still support can be lacking for many who receive a cancer diagnosis. Far too often people react as if it is contagious or they prefer to not be around the disease. The American Cancer Society has made "Hope Houses" across major cities to help patients have a place to stay for treatment close to cancer treatment hospitals because too many are left helpless  with no one willing to help them out. 

Even within a patient's circumference of family and friends, many are fearful of what to say so chose to saying anything and stay completely out of touch.  At a time when a person needs these people front and center in their lives the most, support is gone.  This increases disappointment adding to the sadness of the disease, which is not good for recovery of the disease.

This is not true of all patients though. Some have a wealth of support from family, friends, and other sources.  The ones that are lacking the support is a larger segment of the population than most realize.  It is surprising too, when cancer has become so prevalent part in our society. 

More and more celebrities have had exposure to what is going on in the world of cancer, to the lack of support, to the number of diagnoses and the impact it is having on American families. By visiting cancer centers, helping with Make a Wish foundation requests and fielding letters, they hear the heart-wrenching and the hero stories of fight for survival stories.  And, in return, many are beginning to share their own stories, to show their courage.

Cancer is a personal struggle, very intimate.  To share it outwardly in the public eye is very hard, especially early on, when you are dealing with it yourself.  It is commendable, these celebrities that are willing to literally jump outside their comfort zone and share this experience with us all.   Their stories, their experiences, and the cancer becomes top page news.

No one may care about the mother of two young men named Julie who lost her

battle with cancer a few years ago and left two boys just starting college living in Franklin, TN but they do care about Farrah Fawcett, the woman they grew up watching on Charley’s Angels.  No one really knows, nationally, of a driven woman fighting a lifelong battle with an endocrine-type cancer who started a few years ago a National Research Organization with a top renowned doctor working in this field but they know of Steve Jobs who died with the same type of cancer.

The list goes on of celebrities with cancer who have told their story to all of us; fans of Sex and the City know of Cynthia Dixon, fans of Ted Kennedy in politics, fans of Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing. It has become more the norm to discuss cancer, all types on the national scene by celebrities in the media.

I worked at the American Cancer Society (ACS) offices in Nashville, Tennessee and Memphis as the Director of Corporate Communications. Several years later, I began working as a volunteer in social media for some of the event programs, recruitment for a large scale research project and Making Strides for Breast Cancer.  I saw, firsthand, internally and then externally what happens when a celebrity goes public with their cancer diagnosis.

 Internal staff are immediately notified and kept updated as to what is in the media about the celebrity. The reason is that phone lines and social media go ballistic!  The volume of calls and communication via social media and such for  questions, requests and concerns skyrockets.  Individuals contacting the organization now care deeply about cancer, either about themselves or a loved one after hearing the story. It is truly amazing to experience this firsthand! 

Sometimes it is not even about the type of cancer the celebrity has, it  is the fact that cancer is in the news.  Cancer awareness is in the forefront of everyone’s mind, and for the moment in time, that split second, it is okay to talk about it at length, as long as it remains in the news.   The more times the media makes a release about a celebrity and the volume it is tweeted, shared on Facebook, put on Google+, Instagram or wherever, the busier the offices are nationwide, in particular the 800# and hits to the website.

The effect this has on cancer is incredible! Being proactive is key to decreasing the odds of being diagnosed and to early diagnosis. The sooner a person is diagnosed, the easier it is to treat it and the greater likelihood of combating cancer. Everyone benefits. The more information a person can receive from ACS free of charge, hopefully the sooner they can get on with the business of living.

What you can do is promote that information, when a celebrity announces their diagnosis? Pass it out to your network of contacts!  Unfortunately everyday stories of the common person don’t always have the impact.  Read the message from the celebrity first, become informed. You need to know the story to share it.   The reason a celebrity is forthright in telling their story is not to increase their notoriety but to promote public awareness and save lives.  You can help their efforts as we are all in this together.  

Remember that one click is usually never enough to get people to pay attention. Take the time to push these stories out, over and over again. Your click may save a life. Isn’t that worth something? Perhaps it may be someone else’s click that saves yours! 

American Cancer Society    

800-227-2345   800-227-2345

800

Teens at Risk; Challenge Camp

When teens are in distress it is often due to anger issues. These can be a result of so many things, anything due to stress from home, problems

in school with bullying, pressure from peers, and self-esteem conflicts.  So many see no way out so resort to inappropriate coping skills.  We often see and meet many adults that do this as well. The jails are full of them as are the work place. Parents on the sidelines are screaming at their kids, being nasty to the referees, and bosses believing that cutting down their employees to size are the way to lead.

The value system established at a young age is instrumental in shaping a young person’s life. Getting them started on a path of not only self-discovery but goal setting and action steps is so very important with today’s youth.  To teach a teen how  to overcome the haphazard and hurdles they are sure to face in this world is to build a better tomorrow for all of us. It may lead to happiness, success and the lack of total despair so many face.

Thus, many have heard my husband and I talk about Midcourse Correction Challenge Camp in Michigan.  We established a fund there in honor of my step-son, my husband and his ex-wife’s Kay’s only son, Dan Bronold.  This is to give Dan’s life a legacy of helping others accomplish what he could not, a chance of breaking free from a stereo-type of trouble-maker.  He had what so many suffer from in our youth in society, the lack of thinking he could be someone bigger than who he was and never really believing in himself. The potential was always there if he had only had found the faith. This Camp does that to so many and it helps parents reach their kids in a different kind of way.

We wanted to reach out to let folks know that support this camp the mailing address for donations has changed. So whether you give in support of Dan’s fund or just give to reach youth at risk, please pass this changed address on.

Midcourse Correction Challenge Camp

Attn:  Dan Bronold Memorial Fund

833 E. Grand River Ave.

Howell, MI  48843

Mr. Personality

When we walk in the door we are always met with smiles. Everyone is laughing and a commotion ensues. Someone from the front desk usually comes from behind to greet us so friendly and gets an exuberant welcome back. Yes, Charley our lab is back for a stay at the Kennel, or, as my husband calls it ‘Doggie Camp’.

When it happened or how it happened, I still don’t understand. Even back in the days when I hated our dog Charley, this place fell in love with him. Yes, this is the same dog you have heard me talk about over the years who was kicked out of one dog training class, couldn’t attend several kennels for various reasons and learned all the training lessons except when it came time to take the test refused to do some of the tasks on command. I, incidentally, gave up taking him when the instructor reprimanded both Charley and me numerous times, telling us both excessive rear-end sniffing in dog classes is distracting, poor obedience on Charley’s part  and lack of good leadership on mine. So I threw the Cheerio treats to my husband and relinquished the leash to his other master after the 3^rd insult.  I think Charley wanted to retreat to the sidelines with me! 

After the first or second visit, it became a ritual that every time a call was placed to kennel our pet that was always beloved by my husband and early on, hated by me, the kennel was ecstatic Charley was coming back to stay at this, our favorite and only place we put in.  Apparently his trainers found his challenging ways fun. Why a large 125 lb. of energy, lack of coordination and slobber is hilarious, at that time, I didn’t quite get it. I wanted a small lab, perfectly obedient and docile in nature. What I got was a Marley reborn in our otherwise calm sedate house. 

As he grew, his reaction to “doggie camp’ became as notorious as theirs. However, he did lose his group play time. Apparently he liked the King of the Mountain mentality thus, began humping everything in sight. In this case, that meant every dog. In safety for the other dogs and partially him, solo play became mandatory and our fixed dog was resigned to play only with a trainer alone. To this day, I think he planned it this way. He had a human, which he has always felt he was half human anyways, to himself. Undivided play time and pet time to himself for 20 glorious minutes as many times a day as we were willing to pay.

Charley’s report cards have consistently come back with glowing comments. He usually eats well, has received A to A+ in personality and poops well. That later part is no surprise as poop duty is the dread duty at our house.  His trainers always seem to hate to see him go however we would happily leave him an extra day or two at no charge if they would like to just hang out with him for a bit longer.  Nah, we would miss the big guy. 

I always use to wonder why, when we picked him up, he seemed annoyed. Often times, he would run right past whichever one of us picked him up as if he didn’t know us or ignore us. We have figured it out, over time. He truly loves it there; it is nice break from us, just like a vacation is to us. Not that we don’t give him plenty of loving and attention but dogs too like distractions.  And he appears to be loved on there, played with, fed well, gets plenty of treats, and has his dog bed, the doggie channel and his own suite, a full size cell.

When I call to make a reservation, there are several different packages to choose from, depending on how many playtime the dog is to have, late night pee breaks, treats, etc.  For Charley, they always want me to get the max so that his trainer can get the added play time with him.  I try to avoid the added expense but when I get there, they always remind me how much he is loved on and loves to play. In fact, there are times I haven’t paid for it and have been told they took him out anyways. These people are nuts about this clumsy galoot of a dog!  

This last time, over Christmas, seemed to be the hardest time of all for us to leave our Charley. We were going to New York. Charley has been having a series of strokes, his last one being the largest. We know his time is starting to waver. We worry about how much time he has left. 

As we walked in, once again we were greeted by a trainer and this time, without even switching leads, they took him from my husband and pulled him behind the large reception counter. We had not gotten a chance to say good-bye. As we stood there, after signing him in, we saw our dog, happy as can be, with everyone behind the counter fawning all over him and him lapping it up. As we looked at each other, we realized we were best to walk out and leave our dog in the loving care of a kennel that truly cares for him and feel blessed he would be there when we returned. And he was as the picture below shows, with once, again, glowing remarks and ticked off that we picked him up!   

Click Here for a short video on Charley Images