Lesson from 2016

A new year is upon us! What I have reflected on more than anything this past year is that my life has not played out as a fairy tale.  Many times, I did not like the story line at all wishing I could change many of the chapters and characters.  Yep, sometimes I had a one on one with God requesting a do over but then realized, mid-prayer,that would be too exhausting knowing what I know now about living. So 2016 cemented the knowledge that I am indeed, like it or not, walking God’s plan not my own.

Taking responsibility for my own actions but with the knowledge it is all part of a Master plan gives me a greater sense of purpose.  I had two choices to make, roll with his plan or fight it. This year showed me that rolling along with His plan, praying more to understand it, gave me a heightened sense of awareness of what it was and a greater sense of peace. Getting in touch with my Master Plan I forced me to make some difficult choices through-out the year. Some decisions were difficult and I procrastinated. Prayers and reality set in eventually making me see God’s vision as I prayed more than this year than in many years and it helped me gather strength.  

Doing what is right is not always easy but is best.  I had to recognize what was and was not healthy in my life.  I suppose I had done this before but needed to do it again as I felt my soul unrest. My son use to remind me of something in the serenity prayer that if you can’t do anything about it let it go. I began to notice a few things consistently causing so much distress in my life, pain and unhappiness that I had no control over.  He was right and so was the answer to my prayers let go. If it is meant to be, it will come back and if not, peace of mind is priceless and part of God’s vision for me now. I am in the last few chapters of my life. I do not get do-overs.

The price I pay for being in places unhealthy or relationships over the years was and is too high. If one can’t control a situation, be it a job, marriage, relative, etc.…the stress permeates your being.  . I could no longer let as much stress and anxiety in my life, it affects my health too much and well-being. I enjoy peace and serenity and drama-free existence. That is God’s plan for me now.

I also found God still wants me to use my voice to speak out for others in need or myself, wherever it is best served. Even in writing my blog, at times they seem silly, as if what nerve could it possibly touch?  Then someone writes me privately and I am pleasantly surprised. Each of us have a voice and should use it till the day we die.

2016: My parting advice I learned this past year:

If you desire peace and serenity in your life, walk in the light of God and stay smiling as much as you can. This will help keep you in the happiness mode more often than not. Stay in situations that keep you in the driver’s seat and are emotionally healthy. If your gut makes you feel compromised or unhealthy repeatedly, distance yourself from this people or situations.  Your overall Master Plan is beautiful.

Happy New Year Everyone! Be blessed.

Veronica Gliatti

Christmas with Grandma G

Living in a community for Active 55+ residents has given me a different view of Christmas.  These residents are teaching me more about living in the later stages of my life and what the holidays are about, celebrating being here to enjoy it, pure and simply. 

The way it is celebrated by our neighbors is as varied as they are. There is the neighbor next door who like so many of us, lives on a tight limited income so didn’t really have enough money to travel home to see the kids and grand-kids after making the trip twice in the last 6 months. 3 weeks before Christmas the kids called and said airline tickets were purchased in their name, they would be flying to their kids in PA for Christmas!

We also know there are many with no children or family to spend holidays with so invite others to a holiday party at their home. Christmas Eve they host a huge dinner and it is a family affair for those who need an adopted family for Christmas. We are told it is such a beautiful affair that even some with family sometimes attend!

There are those that go vacationing in groups with other members here or with longtime friends from Florida or elsewhere.  As you age, no Christmas should be taken for advantage as each could be your last. Also some relatives break from their families and unconditional love doesn’t exist so residents, for the most part. Many here refuse to be sorrowful, they are reminded by our community, you are loved by God and accepted as you are by everyone here.  Instead they adopt an attitude that their family may eventually come around and love and miss them. If not, God wants them to be happy not wither in self-pity for what was or was not. Life is not to wasted but cherished for the blessings bestowed on us.

My Christmas was preceded by a brief overnight-er in the hospital.  It was

discovered my main artery was almost completely blocked to my heart. A stint

was put in and I am fine, one week to the day of Christmas Eve.  Those are the times God lets you know whose lives you touched, who you matter to and who

you does not care whether you live or die. And, this lead to a change for the holidays! Sad on one front because our plans for flying to NYC to spend with my husband’s wonderful family were canceled. It opened an opportunity for us to spend with my son’s family in TN as that was driving only 2 states away. And both him and my daughter-in-law opened the door wide! So, God saw fit I saw my son, daughter-in-law and three of my grandchildren this year for Christmas!  Lost one blessing and gained another!

Everyone has prized memories of childhood memories of Christmas. Mine were of going to Toledo, Ohio and spending them with my Grandma Gliatti. So, when I arrived home yesterday, I received the best Christmas gift of all.  To explain, I have to back up; my older sister had traveled to Italy this fall. While in Italy, Terri traveled to the city where Grandma was raised, Bovino. Bovino is a small hilltop t9own in southern Italy at the foot of the Irpinia mountains located in the province of Foggia. She wanted to bring me back something from the city so I had a connection from where Grandma was from. Unknown at the time about the heart issue to her (or me!) but thinking she wanted some item symbolic of our tie to the city, Terri bought a beautiful heart necklace from a shop in Bovino.

Hearing the story in a letter with the gift box when I got home the other day, I knew inside this is a Grandma Gliatti thing, the heart that drew Terri to buy it. Grandma was always prayerful and led by God's word and love of family. When unable to attend Mass, she would sit and watch it on TV going through all the steps as if she were in attendance in accordance with her Catholic faith.  She was watching over me when I prayed in the hospital making sure everything was okay because she was that kind of grandma to all her grand-kids.

Inside the heart emblem is an item that swirls in a circular motion, just like the circle of love she had hoped for our family. Terri took that trip that took her back to where Grandma Gliatti started, Bovino, and Terri brought back a piece Grandma Gliatti wanted me to know was symboic of her heart showing me her love has never really left me. When others may leave my life Grandma's love is always there, uncconditional, watching over me, from heaven. Terri also bought me a pair of 

earrings from another shop keeper who knew grandma’s family, another connection to hold onto and pass on to my beloved Granddaughter who I love as much as Grandma loved me.   When the day comes and I pass into heaven where my Grandma Gliatti resides, I will have let my granddaughter know of my Grandma Gliatti’s unending unconditional love for her grandchildren.  

I had Christmas with my Grandma Gliatti again, in 2016 and my heart is full of thanksgiving.  I got my soft heart from her.  Grandma is with me always on my path of life.  I am who I am, give what I can give and accept there are those who will judge me and feel they are justified in doing so. But I chose to live as my Grandma Gliatti lived, simple, lovingly and trying to live in God's teachings the best I can, though I may stumble and fall from time to time I am ever prayful as she taught me.

Christmas is more than just about Jesus’s birth and giving gifts, it is a time to renew our commitment to living out His word.   Grandma’s heart reminds me true love is everlasting. She has been with me all these Christmases, not just 2016, in spirit.  Love endures.  It is the non-pure type that doesn’t, perhaps that type never truly exists.  Maybe that is why 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (“ Love is patient, love is kind…) was written, it has to be defined for so many weak withe ability to love, shallow in faith.  Grandma wanted Terri and I to stay connected regardless of our differences, to hold on to our bond, because that is what families do. Perhaps that is why, everytime she visits Italy she feels compelled to bring me back something and it is always something that reminds her of Grandma Gliatti for she knows how much she meant to me. 

Grandma Gliatti taught me how to be a Grandma by example. I know I have made her tremendously proud in that I have passed that type of love onto my granddaughter and to my other grandchildren I have been allowed to bond with. I love all my grandkids as she loved all of hers, freely, with all of my being. Daily, I pray for them all,so that God and Grandma G watch over them. 

The heart was telling, the text message I got from my granddaughter's new cell phone the very next day was too "Grandma, I miss you now" I hadn't been gone a full day yet.  And it made me sad and happy to see her words on my screen, isn't that part of the dichotomy of love? My son and daughter-in-law's children for sure will always know that Grandma Ronni will always be with them at Christmas because part of my heart will always reside with them.  Grandma Gliatti taught me to love like that.   Even in heaven, I will be celebrating Christmas with those I love "thee" most....

Dedicated to my sister Theresa Marie

Video Link to My Christmas

Christmas 2016 Experiences thru the Eyes of Mrs. Santa

Not that often do I read something and literally stop and have to reread 

it a second time because I am so blown away by sections of it! I was so 

touched by this blog/article that I reached out to this long ago friend to 

ask her permission to post the link to the piece here in the hope she would 

say yes so I could share it today, Christmas Eve Day, with all of my followers.  

Giving of oneself and spreading the world of Christian's giving at Christmas is 

what this season is about.  This attitude makes me grateful to celebrate the season with all of you and also to call Genma Holmes a friend. Read this and please be blessed and pass it on. We can all learn some wisdom from this piece.  

Merry Christmas!
Reflections from Ms. Santa and Christmas 2016

I Cried Today

You can call me among the few but I call me among millions. No, I was not a fan of Hillary for many reasons but definately not in support of Trump. I cried today along with several friends as the Electoral College voted, as news of what happened in Turkey came out. Knowing if a World War starts we will be on the side of Russia against our allies and Trump voters will be okay with that. I cried as a dear friend is in Germany and knowing many Americans hate Muslims knowing what media will say and the hateful things Trump supporters will now say. Knowing the Muslims in America that are good people will be living in fear of being victims of hate crimes & the hateful terrorists (Radical Islamist) will not be subject to gun sense laws. So many things seem wrong. Knowing my friend is worrying, not about her liver cancer but her daughters losing their Affordable HealthCare. The list goes on. Reading on Twitter that Trump voters feel, if seniors can't afford Medicare when it is gutted and switched to expensive Privatized plans, too bad. Their rates are too high, their time here is done then. They lived a good life. Also, many of these voters for our new President feel, if you can't afford children's insurance when you lose your Affordable care, you shouldn't have had them. They are not paying for yours as they see their taxes doing directly to you and not to anything else the Federal government does as if that is the only thing tax dollars pays for. Suddenly millions of Americans quit caring about the needs of children and families, like many countries we use to help for this very reason, the core of societies. One of the very reasons we elected public servants to look out for. Now it is no longer important or a hallmark of American society. Millions feel we don't need it.

Millions also say women who don't have abortions are not entitled to free healthcare knowing full well,without it, good prenatal care will not happen nor can they afford deliveries. Irregardless of rape, it is their responsibility to pay for healthcare. Social media mocks the disabled, those less fortunate, and rejoices in the fact their benefits are cut so as to provide more money for other needs they deem more important than those less fortunate. Millions feel it is anger that fuels blacks upset with the few police officers targeting minorities rather than try to find compromise and understand noone is condemning the honorable profession.

We are a one party nation, no system of checks and balances. We are hateful and angry as a nation, condemn leaders that others have voted for in large majorities and discount any actions they have taken that have had positive results if we did not elect them. We are no longer States united and the voice that triumphed cares not what the other voice says, in fact the direct opposite, wants them to suffer because of their needs. It actually seems to delight in their discomfort.

This is not the America the rest of the world looked up to as exemplary. This is not the America that was a nation of brotherhood nor why Arlington is lined up with gravestones as wide as the eye can see with a soldiers who died fighting for freedom for civil rights for all, not for a group like the KKK to be marching down a main street broadcasting condemnation of blacks years after Abraham Lincoln gave blacks freedom from slavery and Martin Luther King Jr. gave his I Have a Dream Speech. This is not the America my father worked tirelessly for during the Cold War to keep Russia at bay and our allies close at hand so we could be unified with the world. No, this is but a shadow of who we use to be. We are a corrupt nation.

I cried today, I will cry tomorrow, and the next day.
But I will use my voice, today, tomorrow and the next day because I have faith
And because I believe one voice makes a difference.
And I believe my voice will blend with millions of other voices that believe
one day we can make a change.

Amen.

Excellent Workplace Violence Prevention Consultant - Felix Nater

Many of you that follow me know that from time to time I like to spotlight someone who is inspiring. Such is my blog below on Mr. Felix Nater of Nater Associates, LTD. Security Management Consultant helping organizations implement and manage workplace security with a specialty in workplace violence prevention and violence response. 

There is so much violence in our society, anger and turmoil that it naturally carries over into the workplace. When I was working, I had major issues when I was running independent office locations. What I quickly learned is that, even though I took extra security measures, I never felt completely safe, nor did my employees. Today there are far better resources available if you know where to look and who they are. If I had known Mr. Nater, I would still be running at least one of those successful businesses instead of leaving. See, in the workplace, even managers deal with bullies and that situation can escalate also.  

One of the best I have seen in the field I actually met in a serendipitous way, through social media. I have a close network of business friends I interact with on Twitter who are independent business owners. Many months ago, one of them told me about a gentleman named Felix Nater. I began reading his tweets and quickly learned he has a passion for diffusing workplace violence and issues surrounding workplace bullying and harassment. His expertise extends well beyond this. His mastery of the subject matter far outclasses anyone I have ever encountered. Not only can Mr. Nater understand the issues but he can assess collateral damages, recognize warning signs and can create effective prevention steps. Mr. Nater services offered are quite extensive. He is the real deal, the expert in this field. Mr. Nater humanizes the delivery of a difficult subject. 


In addition to his professional career, I have found Mr. Nater to be a caring family man with a heart of gold. Honestly, any introduction or explanation I can give of what all he does and who he is as a man would be an injustice compared to what you would learn following him.  Viewing  his website and reading some of his articles gives you a taste of his experience and ability to apply and master this field. I strongly encourage you to take the time to review it and pass his information on to professionals in the field and academia, basically anyone who has an interest in this area. He is a reservoir of knowledge and is the type of gentleman who believes in learning  we further our own education. Let's face it, bullying, violence and safety is of utmost concern in society to us all. 

Truly it has been both an honor and a blessing to interact with someone of the caliber of Felix Nater.

Twitter: @FelixNater                             http://www.naterassociates.com/

Sign Yes for Medicare!

In 2015 there were 53.8 Million Americans on Medicare (seniors + disabled) The numbers are even higher in 2016. Trump was committed to not cutting this plan. Getting rid of Medicare was always on Paul Ryan and many of the Republicans radar. However, several Republicans in Congress are opposed to switching Medicare from its current form to a Privatized system. Seniors that go from a single-payer health insurance to having to shop on a free market for medical insurance is risky. Aging seniors and disabled persons unable to work may lack the abilities to gather the necessary information or cognitively decipher complicated health insurance options from various companies.

A universal healthcare plan was put in place Medicare, 1965, to help address this issue and because many were flat out not able to obtain insurance. At the time, only 1 out of 4 had even adequate hospital insurance for a demographic group that prone to heart attacks. Face it: insurance companies DO NOT want elderly people on their policies or sick/disabled people either. They want to make money! They can either refuse them coverage or make the rates sky high. Medicare helped regulate those rates.

Medicare helps the most vulnerable, elderly, disabled & those on fixed incomes at the tail end of their life.  These are the people who are over 65 and worked their entire life. This program is also for future generations when they age.  The notion that Medicare is going broke due to Obamacare is false. The ACA extended the solvency of the Medicare trust fund by over a decade. Medicare has been better able to control medical costs than private plans because it negotiates its massive leverage of users to keep the costs down. That is partly why the program works. Medicare is separate from Obamacare though people want to throw it in the same basket. When Obamacare was written there were mentions of Medicare, including preexisting conditions not being allowed to be excluded, which is why Paul Ryan is now using the opportunity to say Medicare must go also as if it is part of Obamacare.

It is important to know that those who have worked most of their lives or until they became disabled have paid into Medicare with each paycheck. There are deductions on each paycheck for Medicare. This is not a benefit that is a totally a free hand-out no American has ever worked for or given anything towards. Revenue is continually generated for Medicare for now and for future generations to care for elderly health needs. The fallout from a healthcare program like Obamacare that Republicans want revamped should not be removing a program that is working. Also, having a voucher given to a senior accomplishes nothing when insurers set rates 5-6x higher than normal because of the aging population having a greater propensity of health issues. Fixed income for the poorest demographics of the country can’t make these types of premiums, copays and medications and then live. Let’s not forget, this is the population that has the highest rate of health issues.  Many will be without insurance if Medicare is privatized. God bless.

                                                Clink to Sign Hands off Medicare Congress

Parenting was Your Choice

Too often children are forced to conform. Parents have a preconceived idea of how their kids are supposed to do everything, exactly by the developmental charts.  The pressure begins early for kids to conform and the comparisons with everyone else’s child and individuality is thrown out the window. Parents easily begin the process of having expectations of how children should look, how they should act, and present themselves.  They must be dressed a certain way and they must always be perfectly groomed lest they look unkempt, like children, God forbid.  These lessons tend to stay with children through their teens, and for life as some parents consider it a direct reflection on them if their offspring is not nearly perfect.

Parenting is too often set on some unreachable bar and that goal is then pushed onto kids. Often too it is based on “I am in charge” period and you must obey. In today’s busy world, it can easily be about wanting a child to make a parent’s live easier though the child has needs and didn’t ask to be here. Morality is suddenly not being taught in the home and when not captured, it’s blamed on schools and society as the culprit. Why isn’t this a parent’s responsibility anymore?  Why would a parent want the value system of a teacher to be the basis of their offspring’s value system?  Society’s value system also is up to interpretation in a developing mind. Why should that be a child’s learning tool for morality? Also ignoring your child’s needs and avoiding giving them attention can directly cause  kids to become either hostile or low-self-esteem causing depression and in worst cases suicide.

Children should not have to dress like everyone else. Being able to express oneself by dressing a little bit different is okay. Their benchmark for success should not be defined completely by society. Parents should be familiar with what they excel in, what their passion is, what their weaknesses are and not rely on a teacher conference to learn about their own children. Yet, I have learned many do.  Allowing creativity with your children will instill confidence in a young person, and attention shows they have value.  Nothing takes the place of time and attention from a parent.

Too often, parents think their children that are perfectly well-behaved at home because nothing is array have no issues.  Yet how many parents are truly paying attention?  How many kids are hiding things from their parents?  The ones that seem perfect are the ones that could be the most troublesome away from home, especially if they have literally nothing going on in their lives.  

Be in touch with your children from early on to adulthood. Allow them a leaning post and to let some steam off at home, to vent.  Home should be where the heart is. They should be free to make mistakes at home and be open about what those are to get reinforcement and advice. It can be a cold world. Don’t be a parent that expects the world from your child when the world expects even more.

No one is hardwired perfectly. Parents need to allow their children to be human; home should be a free zone.

Freedom of expression should be taught at home. Abandonment of holding in feelings should be permitted in one’s home with family without fear of retribution.   Naturally this should be done and taught with restraint and respect. There are boundary lines that need to be taught and enforced with children of all ages. This is where boundary lines are taught and set the tone for all relationships to come.

There should be positive reinforcement if someone feels inclined to express themselves creatively, perhaps differently than you, personality be it artistically, in dress, or some other fashion.  Conformity is over-rated. Many of the greatest in history were non-conformist. Allow your child the opportunity to be one. They could go down in history for what they set out to accomplish.  The alternative is a humdrum live full of regret. And resentment over you, the parent, and the one thing that stood in the way..