8/27/2015

Play at Work?

Work is hard, it is mean to be. That is why the majority of Americans don’t work outside their homes unless a paycheck is involved. And, these days, average length of time
anyone stays at a company is 4 years. Employees job hop over money more than anything but also work environment. So why don’t employers look closer at what goes on at work and what they can change?

I learned that 57 million people are involved in Fantasy Football in the world, the majority here in the States. It is estimated that the average employee spends one hour a week working on their picks, status, standings.  Most times this is done at work, on company time. Thus, some companies ban it during the work week as they see the time spent costing them money. Newer studies are showing employees participating in Fantasy Football during the season have a better overall morale at work and are more productive!  What an easy way to improve morale by looking the other way.

Too often companies see no value in allowing a stress reduction exercise unrelated to someone’s job duties. All work and no play is their motto for the day and every day. Time wasted is money lost.  Combine this with a working population that sacrifices more time away from families than ever before just to make a living, modest at that. Is allowing some interesting activity for employees at work really wasting man-hours on the job?

I worked years ago, while in college at a company in Cincinnati Ohio, F & W Publications.  It wasn’t very long after I started of the Ping Pong Battles.  Oh yes, in the basement of the building was a large ping pong table the company had choose to keep.

Everyone in the company was given an acronym similar to their name. The board was posted multiple places and in each department of the competition, complete with winner and loser brackets.  Each quarter anyone wanting in the competition had to put money in a pot, a nominal amount.  Then arbitrarily all the games were listed by dates and by times.  There were no more than usually 3 a day.  It was the players responsibility to check their time and date. No shows were automatic forfeits!

I was shocked, when attending a meeting, that someone vital was missing because it was his scheduled time to play ping pong! But, I learned, ping pong playing can be very serious.  The top three places won money out of the pot and with a lot of employees, it made for a nice chunk of change.

They alternated between championships for singles and one for doubles. When the players were on teams, they were not allowed to pick their team-mate! They were assigned someone outside their department.

What I observed in my time spent working there is camaraderie over a simple game that was complex.  Through this table top game, workers bonded. They laughed, yelled and walked out of the basement happy to be a part of something joyful that reminded them abit of their childhood, and the fact there is more to life than working.  What the employer netted were happy campers!  Many told me, during my tenure there, they would drastically underpaid but stayed there because of the climate, best exemplified by the ping pong tournaments. 

My quantity of jobs worked is too long.  However, it has provided me with a vast array of management styles and work environments.  Never, since that job, have I ever seen a more complex work set-up for employees to actually enjoy time together in a healthy competition that continued year round.

Employers need to see the value of fun at work. It’s a healthy way to bring tempers down and help workers find a common ground with co-workers. This alone will aid in team development.  This time is productive contrary to what many bosses would think.  It builds morale.

Another employee at one company maintained a candy stash.  Her job was to have her deep desk drawer filled with candy, all kinds.  The employees knew this and would come to her desk regularly to purchase candy. It was much lower in cost than the store or the vending machine. Also, she allowed for candy requests.  With the money she made, she put it in a fund. Then, every so often, the money would be used for a small party of some sort for the office employees adding to that fund simply by purchasing candy. 

This little ‘candy store’ created human interaction, much as a water cooler does.  Grown adults requesting she buy skittles, gummy worms or Reese’s Pieces may not have seemed productive to the bosses, when they got wind of this. But, the overall point was lost, allow employees time to chat about something minimal and it works towards bonding, friendship.  Who cares if it is over ping pong or candy, the point is morale is boosted, and less people quits.

It is pure and simple, there is a tremendous value to these activities that seem frivolous
to employers.   When the candy store was shut down, employees held their heads low, there was grumbling followed by more complaints about the company.  Many felt the company’s inability to let them purchase candy and an employee oversee it was representative of them seeing people as work machines.  I fail to see how management let something so small become a major hurdle in people’s minds about working there. No source for candy in the middle of the day made some folks irate.  Next, they are showing up for work for only one thing, a paycheck. Employers note, someone will always pay them more than you are!

Making employees happy increases the chances of them being loyal.  Companies need to get on board, in these financially challenging times and help employees be glad they employed with them.  Little moments of fun speak volumes.  It shows recognition of management that there is more to life than just showing up to work, putting in the time and repeating it 5 days a week.  Activities that take up a minimal amount of time and that create a positive vibe among employees is priceless.   Not having HR, bosses or upper management involved saves time.  Stifling fun is asking for unhappiness.  Give employees more reasons to stay by making it okay for them to play.

Recess time!



8/23/2015

Change



Change is needed,
Change is good.
Why are we resistant
When we know we should.

There are so many mistakes we make
Because old habits are hard to break,
Thinking you get a new solution
And being surprised with the same resolution.

Don’t stay put in your nest
And start making folks guess,
You can’t react the same,
If there is nothing to gain.

Considering reflecting  hard,
And don’t settle for your cards,
Get a new deck out to play,
And brighten your own day.

Noone deserves to be sad,
When others act bad,
Take control of your life,
And live with less strive.

Change is needed,
Change Is good.
Why are we resistant
When we know we should.

Be the exception,
And change your direction,
Find peace within,

And a new life will begin! 


8/22/2015

Breast Cancer Fighter

When you do work for a non-profit, many people wonder why anyone gives up so much time for
free.  I believe it is because of the intrinsic rewards.   We all are called to give something back when given a chance to life.  There are many worthy organizations that do so much good. I select the ones that affects those I care about the most, friends and family. Thus, my choice is breast cancer.

Being a breast cancer survivor myself, I know it increases the odds of my children and grandchildren getting diagnosed one day. I don’t want any of them to have to go through it.  Being diagnosed and going through the rigors of chemotherapy, radiation and/or radical surgery is hard.  Life is forever changed, and other health issues develop, as a result of the treatment. My granddaughter is too cute to ever deserve cancer are the faces of little children I encounter in my life.

I have held a few hands of women that were dying of breast cancer. Their memories are permanently etched in my head. I want their legacy to live on.  I pray for them and their peace but the fight can’t end with their deaths.  The fight for finding a cure is as much about them as those still here.   Others that follow their story with a diagnosis and treatment need and desire a much happier ending.  Better treatments and earlier diagnoses will help that occur.

Several women I know have Stage 4 cancer. They go from one clinical trial to another. Metastatic cancer is real and it is not a pleasant experience, not physically or mentally.  You are living on borrowed time and spending far too much time either in bed or at a doctor’s office. And no one wants to ask how you are because they are afraid of the answer.  These women and their families deserve continued research, without end, till the day they can wake up and not having death hanging over their head.

The survivors of breast cancer frequently have secondary complications from treatment. Long after everyone has said congratulations, those effects set in. No longer is anyone asking how they are but yet they are dealing with challenges. 

Medication for breast cancer chemotherapy has a strong hormonal component to it. The drugs and the experience does play havoc with your emotions. It is common to have extreme depression, flashbacks from earlier times in your life and feeling downright moody and on edge.  It also causes, in many women, lymphedema. This is a painful condition that does not go away. Perhaps you have seen women out and about with flesh colored sleeves on their arms. This is to help them with it, but note, it does not cure the condition and behind the smile they wear is discomfort and pain living with this condition for the rest of their lives.  

There are far too many other long-term health conditions that can and do develop to mention. The effects it can have, long-term, are as varied as we are as people.  It is important to know and educate others that cancer treatment and being labeled a survivor is not the end of changes in a survivor’s live.


 I have spent far too much time working for breast cancer, to be honest. But I am clear about why I do it, for solutions and to increase awareness.  Foremost in my thoughts, when donating time, are those I know affected by breast cancer. It has a far-reaching arm of effect that includes caretakers and loved ones as well as the diagnosed.  I try to get others involved so they will develop a passion for donating their time and efforts, at least once a year, for the same cause, saving lives.

  

It is a lot to ask with everyone’s busy lives to get involved in breast cancer, any cancer or any cause. But if it were almost gone tomorrow, looking at the last few days here on earch and the diagnosis was staring you in the face, how would you feel?  Would you feel differently about donating, volunteering or walking for breast cancer? Think about it; take as much time as you need. Eventually the inevitable answer will come out, yes; you would feel compelled to help create change.   Then why wait?
 Images used in the making of this video link are all of Breast Cancer  survivors, those who passed on and those directly affected by someone very dear to them being diagnosed.  Most are survivors! 

8/18/2015

Yep, You Are Getting Old!



One of the hardest things to accept is you are aging. Right while you are sitting here, now, reading this, moments are going by and you are getting older. It is not something you can deny, fight or resist. So the end goal is to do it with grace.

According to the White House Conference on Aging in 2015, over the next 50 years, our aging population in the United States will more than double. The numbers are astounding, to the tune of 92 million Americans being over the age of 65.  So the good news is you are not alone!

The bad news is this it is not an easy transition for any of us. No longer do most have that firm toned body, that endless energy where you can literally jump out of bed. If we did that now, we just might break or sprain something. And, as we age, everything takes longer to heal.

Sitting back and reflecting on your life can be helpful. Think of all the people’s lives you have touched and whom have touched yours.  This is called creating a legacy.

If you were fortunate enough to have children, take a hard look at where they are at. Are they paving the way for a good future, the life that you started and nurtured?  If so, you have done well, all that was asked of you when God placed them in your care.

If you don’t like your changing looks, don’t spend so much time infront of the mirror. Take them out of your home if that is an issue. Staring at those wrinkles won’t make them go away. Having botox helps but honestly, you are our aging,  there is no denying it no matter what you look like. Celebrate your life!

Much as adults untie the apron strings and let their children go off to make it in the adult world, as you age, do the same. Remove the labels that confine you and embrace your freedom, your retirement to do the things you always sought to do and didn’t have the time. If you don’t have the money, improvise.

Will your children miss you when you are gone? Yes, and if not, it is their loss. You have been there and done the best job you knew how to give them a life. Cheers to you that they have established one. Now go live the last part of yours. 

Opray is quoted as saying  “I think the hardest part of aging really is recognizing the time that you wasted and the things that you worried about that really didn’t matter,” she said. 

But aging with grace is letting go of regrets, forgiving yourself for your mistakes and letting go. Why not be free of any restrictions put on you by others?  You have a perfect reason now for acting out on your fantasies, you are getting senile, it is on your bucket list, and any other reason you feel like giving.

The reality is you don’t need a reason beyond you. You are worth it. Invest what time is left on you!  If you don’t do it now, you will never get the chance.




8/11/2015

The Fair is Coming to Town!

The fair is coming to town, the fair is coming to town!  Oh, the excitement, when I was little over roadside fairs, county ones and church festivals! It was a place where being a kid was heaven!  Food was not good for you and it was the one time your folks didn’t care if you ate it. Games were plentiful and affordable back then.  And the rides, hair in your face and not a worry in the world!  The one thing that was constant among all was the love of the fair!

Flash forward to this year when I took my grandkids to a local fair. It has been a sort-of ritual now, every year, to take them to the county one close to where I live. I enjoy seeing their faces light up, the yelling for cotton candy, more rides and wanting to win a prize.  And their cries are mirrored by kids everywhere in sight, of all ages infact!  It seems to be the one thing constant of all ages, love of the fair.

When they were babies and toddlers I would dream of the day I could take them to the fair.  I knew, in my life, it was one of the highlights of the year, that and the Circus coming to town.  It seems like just yesterday I had that dream and now, here it is 2015 and I have taken my granddaughter for years now and my youngest grandson twice.  Where did it go, the time?

Every time I drive past the exit where the fair is, my granddaughter yells at me “Is the fair back yet?”  I don’t know who is more anxious really, her or me.  We both know that time is very special, sharing rides, laughter and creating special moments that just don’t happen anywhere else.

It is amazing that, even at my age, once I step past the front gate, I am caught up in the grandkids mood, elation at being there.  Some things never change, the look of the carousel, the scream of kids on thriller rides and the smell of everything sicky sweet in the air!  It is hard to know what to do first!  But I am holding little hands grateful I have an excuse to be there, celebrating a fair again.

My granddaughter will no longer go on the kiddie rides because she is just beyond that, telling me they are for babies. She is the ripe old age of 7!  Seven years old where did that come from?  All the sudden so many rides she doesn’t even have to stand up to the line to see if she is tall enough. Her long legs are a dead-giveaway she is not a baby anymore and can ride most all rides now.

Looking back it seems like just yesterday her idea of a playground was sitting in a walker twirling around playing with all the gizmos hanging around her little body. Now she is riding a big Ferris wheel with no fear in her eyes.   My grandson still have some reservations but goes on the small kids rides with relative ease and yelling at the folks unloading him which ride he wants to go on next.  He is not shy and makes everyone’s faces light up as they see the sheer joy on his face.


Ah, many things change over time, over the years and as we age.  Our world has so many new options for kids, techy toys, the internet and such.  But watching them play, hearing the giggles made me realize some things never really do change. So I have to join in when my granddaughter asks how soon can we come back and say the same darn thing!

Here is a fun little video that shows how much my grandkids love the fair and just how fast they grow!  Click Here to Watch

8/04/2015

Band of Pink for Breast Cancer - Get Pumped n' Pink!


This year Making Strides for Breast Cancer has me pumped! I am heavily involved in social media promoting the event and charged about how well the registration is going.

This event is not till Oct. 10th but we already have 140 teams registered. All of the sponsors for this year’s event were secured early and companies are still continuing to ask what they can do. For a breast cancer survivor who regularly sees more friends being diagnosed or re-occurrences, this is like a winning lotto ticket to me. When someone beats cancer, we all win. As the survivor numbers go up, so must our drive to find a cure so that everyone is in this category.

Early diagnosis is critical but so many people don’t realize it is their responsibility to be proactive in screening. Even males get breast cancer and must pay attention to their bodies. If you feel anything suspicious, please check it out. Not all cancers are slow growing.

If you are wondering what I can do to help Strides, easy answer! Go to the website and find the event in your area. I have done everything from lead a team, work for the organization acquiring major donors, helping teams come up with fund raising ideas to increase donations and volunteer. It is immaterial what you do, just so you do something. 

Our city is riding on the theme of getting pinked, as opposed to "Getting punked" by cancer. Getting pink is about raising funds for research and the tens of other things ACS does and the services they provide. We even have Montgomery Gentry being a part of this special promotion. Troy Gentry is the leader in the Band of Pink. Angie, his wife is currently fighting the disease. We can show them they are not alone by having the most successful event this year in the Music City, country music capital of the world.

Band of Pink is a special group comprised of two demographics. The person that does not want to walk but help can do so by joining the Band. It is a
commitment to try to raise $1,000. The other group comprising our Band is individuals that simply want to contribute $1,000. There are accolades listed on the site you receive by doing so just be clicking on the Band of Pink icon. The more Band members we have, our fight becomes stronger to find cures, better drugs and increase awareness for everyone.

Please take the time to look and consider this event. I ask on behalf of all survivors and not simply myself. If you can’t walk, sign up to be one of our Band of Pink members. If you can’t do it as an individual certainly you can do it as a team goal. 


My mission is to see an increase on the activity level on the Twitter site IAmMakingStridesNash. If you could consider helping me with this mission and make any tweets on #breastcancer tagged with #Nashville and #IGotPinked, bless you. Stories, pictures and more followers from the local city would be a major plus also.  And know that you don’t have to be a star to be in our show! 

Link to Band of Pink for Nashville  http://bit.ly/1DVTcql

Link to Making Strides http://makingstrides.acsevents.org/site/PageServer/?pagename=MSABC_CY15_AboutMakingStrides

8/02/2015

Summer Almost Gone, Again

Why it is summer goes by so quickly when we’re adults?  I have never been able to figure it out. It is like that question a four year-old asks that you can’t really explain because you are not sure.  Why is it okay to kill bugs when we aren’t supposed to kill or why is the sky blue? And yet, the days on the calendar clearly show the passage of time, day after day, from summer to fall.  And yet, we are shocked when the end of summer is coming and school is starting. Why that is a downer for many of us and our perception is as if days got skipped?

Reasons:
1.      We are so busy with our lives that we don’t pay attention to the days going by, always running.
2.      As adults, there is much more responsibility and not as much time to focus on summer.
3.      As we age, our tolerance of the heat goes down, thus we complain and then wonder what the problem was when winter arrives!
4.      Produce is best in the summertime, ripe and cheaper! All the abundance of fruit dwindles away at the end of summer. When it hits our pocketbook or diet, we notice!
5.      End of summer, peak vacation time ends. And most of us live for vacation, legal running away from home!
6.      Outdoor activities start diminishing and we all know that the four walls in our homes and offices become old. Thus we yearn to be outside in shorts!
7.      Summer allows for more family visiting trips. This centers in the summer when school is out. End of the summer signals our relatives won’t be seen nearly as much till the holiday season approaches if they live a distance. Nowadays families are spread all over the globe.
8.      We have to put back on jeans and are not happy with how they fit and wonder how did I manage to put on weight when I was outside so much?  Bummer!
9.      Flowers are in bloom; the grass is green and just looking anywhere outside everywhere is color!
10.   We realize we are aging and will have less summers to celebrate and enjoy.



There are many other reasons adults can come up with why the passage of
summer is quicker as adults than children. But I think the take-away is summer is only 3 months out of the year. Make sure you find time, each and every day, to enjoy it. Kids get bored in summer because they’re not constantly busy. But yet, they are happy. If you aren’t and you think your summer goes by too quickly, get bored!  Do more quiet things and don’t get so caught in the rut of life that you forget to admire a butterfly, go to a park and swing or just sit in the sunshine! Summer sunshine! 


My video link is a quick video I made of summer pictures of family and friends.
The song is one of the hits this summer by Nate Ruess. Enjoy! https://youtu.be/U5m6-2-XFRU

7/27/2015

Get Real About Relationships

Loving somebody sometimes means letting them go. Not everyone in life is going to accept who you are, what you stand for and your character defects. But at the end of the day, some things won’t change.  And we are created uniquely for a reason. If you have to change for someone to accept you, don’t.

Too often in marriages when people marry young, they are not fully able to understand the commitment involved with forging a relationship with a lifetime mate.  They are twice as likely to end in divorce.  Interesting that Divorce360.com suggests the ideal age to wait is late twenties before taking that huge step.  Younger couples marrying can be more for reasons related more to the stage of development they are in, through no fault of their own. Thus when one changes or grows the other spouse is left in the windfall. How likely is it that two individuals will mature at the same rate?  Even if they do, often times, one looks at the other as they mature and realizes loving someone doesn’t necessarily mean they are a lifetime match.  What’s more, divorce is so easy to obtain. 

Success rates for marriages are compounded by ages, culture differences and so many other obstacles.  Dr. Phil has quoted studies that show women who have came from divorced homes are 59% more likely to divorce. If both parties have come from such a home, the rate increases to 189% per Journal of Marriage and the Family. Many between the ages of 20 and 29 believe they are looking to marry a soul mate. However, soul mates may not be the best criteria for picking a lifetime mate.  A soul mate is usually reserved for people in your life that awaken a deeper sense of purpose to your life, a deeper understanding of you.  Frequently, this encounter(s) or individuals actually leave your life, and are not permanent fixtures, such as a preacher, a teacher, or an author. This word, soul mate gets thrown around like the word love, carelessly and without really understanding what the word implies and means.

Lifetime mates are the relationships that contain mutual respect, being physically present and creating memories.  Your individuality is something that should be created and discovered by you alone. That is the piece you bring to a relationship. Too many use their marriage as one uses a co-worker, to enhance themselves. It should always be about giving and mutually building towards a common goal. It also takes work and is not something that comes easily like lust.

Relationships coming unglued is not limited to marriages, it spills over into families as well. Too many times, boundary lines are ignored and someone encroaches on another’s.  Codependency is said by some to occur to 96% of women at some point in their life. This means needs are often at the forefront of relationships. Thus, women who subscribe to co-dependent relationships can write off family when they feel there is no need for them in their life.  Once the need and attention is gone, the will to retain the relationship is too.

Friendships are easily created and disposed of with no real complications. However, if the relationship is built on the true components that make lasting relationships work; these can be some of the most committed relationships we experience as adults.  Infact, statistics show social networks,  having true friends in one’s live can improve their lifespan as high as 50%!  Grab a friend and go get lunch!

Part of the reason for the strong emphasis on friendships with experts in this area is that they tend to be built on validation of self. Friends show us we are valued, friends support our goals without any ulterior motive and to many, a great friendship is more invaluable than a family tie. It is entirely a relationship built on choice, thereby it can easily be disposed of so the work continues constantly to keep it fresh, intimate and supportive.

The magazine US News & Money, of all publications, put out on article on this topic of the need for friendships in our life. “ At the end of the day, a friend can be the emotional oasis that makes all the difference.”  Friends make you happy and way too often, families make each other sad.  Friends accept you and families are twice as likely to judge you and not accept your frailties.  This is regarding close friends, and it has been proven over and over again, they make a huge impact on our lives.  Have great friendships with even a few people and you are rewarded with living happier and healthier. 

What is surprising is that adults don’t take the skill sets they use to form mutually rewarding and satisfying friendships into the other relationships in their lives. Experts say marriages are so much happier when there is a solid foundation of friendship.  Spouses who lift each other up expounding on positives verses negatives make a union longer lasting.  Noone enjoys being put down and being labeled. 

Within families, too often bygones are not forgotten or forgiven.  Within a good friendship, there is no expectation of perfection.  Whether is it considered more hurtful when it is a family member letting you down or just pure lack of love, many families don’t believe in working things out. It has become a more disposable society we live in and it has transposed to our family unit. Divorce your spouse and cut out any family that makes you angry. The prevalence of negativity and unsupportive regard for one another is breaking families apart.

The good news is friendships, good friendships, survive the test of time and actually enhance as we age.  This is partly because we make time for those we care about, we listen with open ears and forgive them for their transgressions.  We allow them to be human. 

I suppose the take away is to evaluate what qualities you have in your best friendships.  Those are the qualities that should be mandating all of your relationships in life. If someone doesn’t accept you and treat you as a good close friend, don’t let them in your inner circle. This should be a special appointed place for few.   If they are toxic, let them go.  They will only serve to make you unhappy, unhealthy and those around you miserable.  

God intends for us to be loving and kind to each other. Some have that ability and many do not. This world is harsh, our inner relationships shouldn’t be. You are worthy of being loved and in equal standing relationships too. Let those who judge you, hurt you,  or mar you, find a way to make their own sense of peace, or not. You are responsible for yours!  

Make sure the relationships you foster are the kind that build you up and others. When your day comes to leave this earth, your legacy will be the quality of the relationships you had and not those you did not.



7/16/2015

Radio Jammin'

I have been asked by friends why I don’t have or like satellite radio. When my husband first got his car, I got another sampling of it, and I never used it when I drove the car much at all! Simply said, I want to know what is going on.

When I am driving, I enjoy listening to music as much as everyone else. I am the person that is rocking to the tunes down the expressway. I also must remind myself, at stoplights, to pull the windows up lest someone hear my off key voice hollering out the words to one of my million favorite songs playing. But, what I don’t want is to be out of the loop of what is going on in the world.

Some days are so crazy, it is awesome on that darn ride to town to hear the news in quick sound bites.  The fluff is gone and the news is covered quickly, local news and only the huge national news stories for the most part.  Who enjoys, on a busy day, being bogged down by scrolling around on the internet or phone or having to watch TV to find out what is going on in our world.

Traffic tie ups are a part of life, in any region.  Who likes landing up in the middle of them with no warning?  Hello, another reason to listen to local news! So many times, I hear suggestions of things to avoid and even suggestions for detours.  What a time-saver.  Or if that black cloud overhead is turning into a tornado. I sure would like to know if I should be looking for a ditch to run to. You can’t get that off of satellite radio.

Most of us have a hard enough time keeping up with our own life let alone the agenda in the city. Local broadcaster’s jobs are to promote venues in the city. Listening to a local channel gives that, the quick synopsis of what is going on, where and when.   I also enjoy hearing feedback from callers or guests about the events in town. Supporting local communities and businesses is what makes our area thrive. I don’t have time to read a local paper so this is the next best thing.

A good radio channel should give you the taste and culture of the city, where you live, where to eat, best places to shop, what movie to watch, etc…  They know better than anyone we all suffer from some level of attention deficit.  A friend in the business told me recently, 6 second messages work good actually!  How many of us spit out what we want to say in around 2-3 minutes?  If so, that is a heck of a lot of wasted time, energy and words! Nobody is listening after a minute folks.You are boring people. I know, I have seen non-verbals aimed at me that say, "land the plane!"


So there you go, listen to the local radio for those of you, like me with some ADHD, interest in hearing more about your city and still having moments to jam to some music on the road!   

*Thank you Anna Marie for your inspiration on this! 

7/11/2015

Jake's Dad: A Look Back






With my grandson turning 5, it made me want to reflect on what his father was like, at the same age. So with just a bit of digging I came up with wonderful reminders of his past.  It is always nice to reflect, not only on the joy and pain of motherhood but also to see the similarities they have with their own children. 


I hope my writing this does not embarrass my son. I am proud of the child he was and even more so of the man he has become. Having a mom that kept things together of his childhood and loves to write must be a nuisance of sorts. I often wonder what it would have been like to have had a mother like me.   Oh, I am far from perfect and sure made plenty of mistakes. But, I stayed around; I didn’t walk away and leave my children or stay out of touch for years during their youth. 

I have kept my son’s baby book and included pictures too in an album throughout those first 6 years of life. I wanted them to have it and I wanted to be able to reflect on it at times like this, when their children hit these milestones. Those memories are precious.

Mike was an only child and was doted on quite abit by everyone till he was about 3 1/3.  At that time in his life, his sister was born, Christina who I fondly nicknamed Boo.  I included a picture of him at that age so you could see what a precious face he had, so innocent. Constantly I heard his eyes were big and beautiful and how long his lashes were! Ironic because my daughter’s son is the one that gets those comments the most now.  His eyes are similar to his Uncle Mike’s.

Mike changed so much between the ages of 3 ½ to age 5. He grew up, went from being a baby boy to a little dude.  His interest went to so many things I see his son into, tow trucks, dump trucks, garbage trucks, and being a thrill seeker outside. He loved riding Big Wheels even though we lived on a hill and our driveway was rather treacherous. 

As Jake is, Mike could care less about getting dirty.  He digged in the dirt constantly, played with the trimmer if his dad let him, and hated with a passion, wearing nice clothes. His choice, sweats, the dirtier the better! I think he is more inclined to this day to prefer comfy clothes any time. But when it comes to Jake, I am not really sure. I see him dressed up so much more than Mike was. If I had attempted to dress Mike up that much, it would have created a World War in our house.  Plus he was very very hard on clothes. The knees went out quickly on everything! And his legs were so long, it was hard to find things to fit him.

Mr. I don’t care what I look like was totally different when it came to his room!
Everything had a place. And for some reason, unknown to me, his sister got such a thrill out of going in there and swiping everything on the floor just to see him get upset.  And unfortunately, since he was the older sibling, he was powerless to do much about it.  And one thing he did do, frequently, which is dead on like his son, is take all his trucks, planes and trains and line them up so that they are hypothetically hooked together in one long chain.  I would see him do this over and over again just like Jake does. (Or maybe his dad is doing it and passing it off as Jake, LOL!) 

Mike had a temper, like most little ones, when he was younger. My notes describe it pretty dead-on like what his dad calls Jake’s meltdowns.  But at age 5, they stopped.  Boy, was that a relief! With two kids, I am not sure how that would have gone over.  I think Jake’s are dwindling now, at least around Grandma and Grandpa. And that is when it matters most to us, hehe!

A really cool trait of Mike’s was his ability to be helpful with his sister.  He would play
with her, support her, and be the man around the house when I got divorced.  However, like most kids, that was not always true.  On days he was bored, he did get a kick out of teasing her!  But let anyone mess with her, she was defended, they had to go through him. 

His passion with Star Wars began at this age. Is that nuts or what?  Age 5!  Yes, that and the love of The Dukes of Hazzard. I have no idea how someone that young could or would like those two things so much but he did and as far as I know, still does.  Is there some gene or something for that to kick in so young?  He also was in love with playing Pac Man and I can admit he could kick anyone’s you-know-what. He was insanely good at video and arcade games.  Therein must lay the beginnings of his hand dexterity and his ability to master dentistry I suppose. Does Jake have that?  I am not sure honestly. He hates drawing and coloring. And Mike was an excellent artist at that age.  He could freehand draw just about anything you asked him to! 

I know his wife will be surprised to learn Mike loved running the vacuum cleaner. However, running it, not using it. So typical of the male gene, right, play house but not commit.  We all know the type and I can recall one day realizing that my son was grown up and a man, complete with qualities I didn’t put there! I think he even told me that, I am a man Mom. Basically that means back off and don’t try to be a mommy, just be a mom.  Good lesson actually!

He, by this age, had developed his love of pizza and meat, something he has to this day. And his hatred for vegetables was present as well. Fighting with him to eat them was like trying to win a war against an army with no one else on your side. He would do anything to avoid eating them, including throw up! So I gave up.  Vitamins was a mainstay for a while.  As even he says now my line, “You have to pick your battles.”

I have often told this story about my son. He was mechanically inclined when he was young. He enjoyed taking things apart. Unfortunately, it was anything; he had no discretion, and loved using screwdrivers. This list included some of the following; the telephone, the closet door knobs, the clock radio, the switch plates, basically anything he saw with a screw. And then, he sometimes forgot how to put them back together! It made life interesting and caused a lot of surprises, and predicaments.

Mike hated loud noises at this age. Most of his friends would find this unbelievable, but even something as small as a cap gun irritated his ears. Balloons, fireworks and such would send him to his room to avoid the loud bang.  But he was not a crier over it and never spoiled anyone else’s fun. He was a very good boy with a happy disposition. Like Jake, he enjoyed making people smile and being pleasant.


He was a great sleeper.  In fact, he insisted on going to bed if I tried to keep him up late!  How many kids are like that?  He just insisted I read him a book every night and then he would want me out of his room and to sleep he went.  His favorite book was one called Joe’s Big Trailer Truck or a a Curious George book. But it never failed, whatever time he went to bed, he was up at the crack of dawn, and I mean, early!  Like 6 a.m. as far back as I can remember! He was and is a morning person. 


Both Mike and Jake are happy boys.  Both were a delight to be around and enjoy typical boy things. It may sound cliche but it is so clear watching Jake, the small things are cute reminders of Mike. Jake has this ability to make you laugh that, anyone that knows Mike even half as well as me, knows that is his dad through and through.  Mike’s favorite song, at that age, was Jesse’s Girl by Rick Springfield because I think he loved upbeat music. Ironic that he did ‘…find a woman like that’ and no one could be happier for him than I! 






Sister Bonds

  Having spent some time recently with my older sister, it reminded me of so many shared moments in our youth.   Those years were some of th...