Missing Puzzle Pieces

Some of us grew up never knowing one of our parents. This is particularly hard on a child when so much of their identity is tied up into their parents. I think this is particularly common in today’s world where divorce is rampant. Often times, a missing parent moves away and the child is left being raised by one parent. If the divorce is ugly, which most are, the impression children get of the missing parent is often negative, distorted by a relationship that went sour.

Negative comments made about one’s natural parents are hurtful to children. It makes them feel as if they are somehow not quite right themselves. They are innately associated with both parents in their minds and in their genes. This connection, this bond, only serves to create confusion and frustration in a child’s mind when one is out of the picture of their lives. It is particularly hard when they are bombarded with negative degrading comments about the missing parent.

Over the years, I have met so many adults who, once on their own, have reconnected with a missing parent. What they find, after many years, is their parent is not perfect by any means, but usually is one who never stopped loving them. Knowing this, that love was present in the heart of absent parent makes a huge difference. Knowing too that days went by with the missing child on their mind is soothing to the soul of the adult child. Even if the absent parent has issues, as we all do, it is still a completed circle to many adults to reconnect to their biological roots.

I recently reconnected with my mother. I have not seen her since I was thirteen years old on a brief Saturday visitation day. We still have not had a chance to meet in person again. But, I am grateful, even from afar, for the opportunity to get to know her. We live in different states making visits not easily done. I so enjoy now forming my own opinions of her. Too often in my past, it was based on everyone else’s impressions of her and not my own.

The more we talk, I see many similarities with us, and I hear it in our laughter. Many pieces of me that didn’t quite fit or make sense to me growing up now seem to mesh together quite well as I understand where those traits came from.

No, she will never be the mother many of my friends have, but, she is mine. I am a part of her life now and she is a part of mine. She does love me and she is sorry for all that she was not in my life. For me, yes, I think that is enough. As we are on a journey of discovery, I indeed feel blessed. She has been forgiven and we have moved past the past, as it should be.

May you find it in your heart to forgive those that have deserted you. If it is the right thing to do, in your situation, then perhaps, seek them out, that missing parent. Be open and honest with them too and ask for nothing less from them. May you find, in doing so, there were reasons for their desertion. Don't go into it with high expectations, accept what is as is.

Life is too short to walk around with pieces of the puzzle, the puzzle that is you, missing. It is good to go full circle with your life and put together the missing parts. You are worth it!

Whether Winter Weather Matters

I have lived in the North. Northerners complain about snow, cold temperatures and too much slush and salt on their cars. They hate snowy conditions, and having to deal with getting children to school when the roads are barely passable. Schools seldom close in the North also as they are prepared for those types of conditions. If every time it snowed, they closed school, they would be going through Mid July to make up for the days missed. Hence, school is open is the norm, and if they are lucky, with a late start so the major traffic is off the road before parents and/or school buses have to venture out .

I now live in the South. Folks down here complain about not seeing snow, not having opportunities to sled and not getting to wear heavy sweaters and boots enough. When snow is even predicted in the south, schools are closed the night before. Salt must be a scarcity in the south as the road crews are not well prepared to deal with snowy conditions as it happens so rarely. The grocery stores are robbed of the essentials, milk and bread by rush hour traffic time. Apparently many are in fear it might snow and it might make the roads impassable. Many a Christmas southern folk are out putting up Christmas lights outside their homes in short sleeve shirts. All the while, they are wishing for a white Christmas.

The commonality is obvious here. There are pros and cons to the winter weather in both areas of our country. But rest assured, wherever you go, people will find fault with their area’s weather patterns in the period from November to March.

The diversity of weather patterns in different areas of the country is much like the diversity of people. It is something that should be embraced. There are wonderful assets to living in the south. No snow means no bad road days, no slush on the car, and no sub zero temperatures when you step outside. Living in the North allows you opportunities to see the landscape outlined in white virgin snow, detailing every single detail of the landscape as far as the eye can see. It is a quiet white stillness that is almost spiritual.

Whether you live in the south or the north during winter, there are advantages to each. You are blessed to be able to enjoy the seasons changing no matter where you live. Spend more time focused on what you do like about where you live and less worry on other areas in the country. You can’t change it anyways; weather patterns are not changeable due to human whims. We always want what we don’t have. It is far better to recognize that, and move on rather than waste precious time complaining.

Doggie for Sale?

The best challenge in the world to all those dog lovers out there is the ability to control our dog, to Charley.

Charley is a 115 pound Labrador retriever, full of energy, that makes life, shall we say, stimulating? His energy has never faded. When most dogs hit a certain age, they slow down. Charley is almost five and we are still waiting for this metamorphosis to occur. Our vet says to not hold our breath.

When dogs are’ fixed’ it should help alleviate humping behavior. Charley had begun this nasty habit about 4 months old. We noticed him humping our couch upstairs. Our veterinarian suggested get him fixed to help. The only thing that changed, after his castration, is the couch is not good enough any more for Charley. He insists now on real action, humping other dogs. He has no biases either towards other canines, he likes humping them regardless of size, color, shape or sex. My husband begs to differ with me telling others “Charley only humps attractive dogs.” Judging by some of the dogs he has tried to hump, I beg to differ. Charley has no sense of taste whatsoever.

We brought Charley home when he was 6 weeks old in May from the breeder. Immediately we began putting him into our swimming pool. He wore a doggie lifejacket. I never knew such a thing existed before we were advised to put him in one. He looked ridiculous with it on and he hated it. I am certain, in doggie language; other dogs in our neighborhood ridiculed him for this. When folks came over to see our small puppy swim, they laughed at the site of him in this hideous thing that took as much time for us to put on him as he spent swimming.

Labs are, by nature, water dogs. His love of water extends beyond our pool, including anything with H2O. This includes our sprinkler which Charley has been known to sit literally on top of when it is on. The intent is to water our lawn but he thinks it is a play toy for him and proudly stands over it, in the process, blocking all water to the lawn.

A trainer once suggested we have a water spray bottle for visitors due to Charley’s exuberance. We were instructed to give this to visitors to our home to reprimand him for bad behavior. The thought is that by spraying the dog, he will not bother others. However, Charley simply loves it, this form of punishment. We begun to see he sees this as positive reinforcement for bad behavior as with each squirt of water aimed at him, he expertly catches the water in his mouth.

Our dog, apparently does not like the thought of captivity either. Jim, my husband, reminds him regularly that he will not find a better home than ours. Though he knows no one will take him, he still insists on trying to run away. Charley jumps both fences in the yard, the electric fence and the steel fence. He is like a fugitive running for his life when he gets free. This is something he does every chance he gets. These days, it does not happen as now he is not allowed outside without being on a leash. I am certain we look ridiculous to our neighbors walking a do with a leash in a fenced in yard. I think we hate it having to do this as much as he does!

Charley has selective hearing also. He can be in the other end of the house on a completely different floor and hear things we do not want him to hear. If the drawer that houses cheese in the refrigerator is even touched slightly, Charley can wake out of a dead sleep and come running. But, when Charley gets free in the neighborhood, he is oblivious to our cries of ‘Come home!” He dashes this way and that, not missing a smell anywhere and totally ignoring us, no matter how sweet we plead or how angry we yell. To a stranger, it looks like we are chasing a dog that does not belong to us. As we are in mad pursuit, using every trick in the book, offering cheese for his bad behavior, it normally takes some time to slow him down so we take turns following him until he gets tired and let’s one of us get close enough to loop a leash over his head.

Our neighbors have gotten accustomed to this us chasing him. Every time it happens, there never is one single sole outside. If they were, he would come up to them and they could grab him. But no one is ever there anymore. I think the neighbors find it more fun to watch us being led by our dog than helping. It is somewhat comical to bystanders to hear us asking our dog running free if he would like to take a walk to entice him to come back. We do these because he loves walking and when he is free, he is usually running! We keep hoping he will be dumb enough to fall for this line. We need some new material though because it is not working!

Charley feels no other dog or child is as worthy of our love as he. Anytime anyone comes over and gets too much of our attention, he is literally pushing his way to the front of the pack and insisting that he be pet. Other dogs are literally bull dozed down by Charley. I think he realizes if we get too close to another dog, we might try to switch and take another dog in his place. How ironic though, that when a two year old grand daughter looks at him and tells him sternly to go away and he does just that.

One summer a sales man was calling on each house on our street. He was a financial planner looking for prospects. Hearing our dog barking in the doorway would have made most strangers walk the other way. But not this man, Bill, he rang the doorbell anyway while staring at Charley’s big snout up on the storm door. Jim went out through the garage door to greet the man knowing if he dare open the front door, we would spend the next hour following Charley in the neighborhood.

Jim quickly noticed the stranger, Bill we later learned, was dressed professional, in a nice black suit. Bill was insistent about coming in our home, right then and there and meeting Jim’s wife and man’s best friend, our dog. As Bill professed to have a love of dogs, my husband told him that Charley would quickly make him rethink this passion. He forewarned Bill in no uncertain terms that Charley was a handful and hard to control with visitors but Bill was insistent he wanted to come in.

Within a mere two minutes of walking in the door, Charley was greeting Bill and letting him ‘feel the love.’ The love expression Charley chose was to jump up on the front of Bill was his dog hair flying everywhere from excitement, his mouth salivating and planting a huge kiss on Bill’s mouth. Bill was a thin man and nearly toppled over from the sheer force and weight of Charley thrusting himself on him at a breaking speed. By the time we pulled Charley off, which was seconds but felt more like hours, Bill’s suit looked nothing like it had minutes ago. In its place was now a tousled suit, wet with doggie slobber and raked with dog hair! Bill took it in stride but he never returned to our house again without a large dog bone in hand to give Charley the minute he stepped in our house.

I firmly believe Charley has a zest for life that many in this world are lacking. He greets everyone with the same vigor. His excitement is contagious, but just not controllable.

We love dogs but Charley is positively the worst behaved dog either of us has ever known. He was named after Jim’s dad who was polite, well mannered and calm. None of these adjectives describe his name sake, Charley the dog.

Our relationship with our dog is a love hate relationship. We can’t live with him or without him. He is fodder for so much conversation among all of our friends and family! We have even offered to let others keep him but have no lucky takers. When we were putting up our Christmas tree one year, he somehow slipped outdoors without us knowing. I heard a knock on the door. When I opened the door, much to my surprise, there sat Charley who had nudged the door with his large snout. He wanted back in. I opened the door but could not help saying, in all seriousness , “What’s wrong Charley, would nobody take you in?”

Signs you have a bad dog:
-Nobody will dog sit your dog when you travel

-In training, you consistently get in trouble and so does your dog for misbehaving

-Your dog sleeps on the bed with you and is a bed hog with no respect for your space

-You cannot open your front door easily without starting a barking fest and commotion

-Your neighbors know your dog only too well

-You cannot leave your house without dog hair on your clothes from head to foot

-At dinnertime, you frequently have a visitor laying his snout on the table as if it belongs

-Food that is left out disappears without a trace

-Your visitors get slobbered on and attempts are made to French kiss them by your pet

-Swimmer in your pool have to learn to dunk your dog to be left alone

-Your dog is picky with his treats preferring people food

-You get barked out when eating snacks and not sharing them with your dog

-Your dog has been known to try to steal toys from babies

-Everybody can bring their beloved dog to visit others but you!

*Please email me any other signs of a misbehaving dog that are missing on this list. I am sure Charley is not the only bad dog in this world!

A New New Year’s Resolutions List

Have you started your New Year’s Resolution list yet? Does your list read the same as everyone else’s? Are you finding things like lose weight, buy a new car, find a better job or drink less on it? If so, ask yourself, a year from now what will you remember, what will truly you have done that impacted your life, your legacy?

I challenge you, instead of creating a resolution list for 2010, how about a working bucket list that accomplishes both? How about making objectives for the next 365 days that give more to your loved ones and friends and community than a ‘what’s in it for me’ list? If you are not sure how to begin or feel you need extra incentive to do so, read on.

I recently heard a story about a man that died in his late 60’s. When a pastor met with his surviving family, he asked a simple question. “Tell me all the wonderful qualitities about your father, what was so good about this man?” The room fell silent. No one uttered a word. All sat deep in thought, trying to draw from their father’s life and from their assorted memories trying to come up with something. Finally the pastor said he needed a list, some sort of response as he did not know this man directly, to help create a eulogy. Finally someone spoke up. “He loved his family dearly.”
The conversation began to flow but it began and ended with that simple thought, family meant a great deal to him. He loved golfing, drinking beer and seeing his family together. His family seldom was together in its entirety even though all lived relatively close to one another. This time they were all there, at the table but it was in his death. There were rifts in this family for years that kept them torn apart. As this story was retold to me, I could not help but wonder if this man knew of what he had not given his family, a legacy filled with adjectives like loving, caring and always supportive. If he had known, would have lived his life differently? The time is past to change this what he could or should have done.

If you are reading this, your time is not, your time is now! Make 2010 the year you begin anew. Start that bucket list for yourself, your resolutions, with this in the forefront of your mind. Make certain your choices are full of qualities you want to be known for, action items that you want to be remembered for when others describe you. Include things on the list that show you can be a risk taker, someone willing to get outside of your comfort zone. An individual who was grateful, prayerful, and faithful is someone dear to this world. Someone who lets their passion and empathetic nature help others makes a difference in our communities. Be certain your list includes opportunities to lend a hand to others in need. Small deeds like working one day at a soup kitchen will give back to you more than your gift to them.

Most of all include things on this bucket list that make you laugh with glee. This will show others your passion for life. People seek out people that are happy and show it as it reflects the spirit of enjoying life! Do you want to be remembered as someone that made others feel good just by being around them? If so, you better start now working on it before you have passed into the light.

I hope my list for 2010 leads to comments at my eulogy like she was someone with a zest for life, who enjoyed and embraced happiness and fulfilled her life’s desires. She tried to make a difference in her own small way and enjoyed the process of living. She made time for those that are dear to her. Yes, she made a difference and we are forever changed by her life….that is her legacy.
A New Year is dawning, turn the page and begin a new chapter in your life. The only one holding you back from change is you. Make this chapter about a time to learn, grow and change for the better. Your list should help you accomplish this, put you on the path to your full potential and to helping others want to reach theirs.

Creating a list is much like making a plan with your list. You will quickly find your transition on focusing on these objectives will affect your circle of friends. You will be not living status quo and others will notice! They will value you even more in their lives and the world at large will benefit from your accomplishments, the example you are creating. Just maybe you working your bucket list for 2010 can motivate others to change and ideally, help eradicate even a small amount of hate, fear and resentment in our world. Maybe it can help promote happiness and doing right by our neighbors.

At the end of the day, at the end of the year 2010, I challenge you to have created a list God could be proud of and that was attained. One by one, cross each item off your list so that it does not become nothing more than empty promises. As you create and accomplish this plan, celebrate and share your success with us all. Make God smile, as he most certainly will, at you, over what you are doing with your life here on earth.
Maybe others that knew you and loved you will be asked one day to help create a eulogy, like the man that died at age 68 on Christmas this year. Are the comments that those that knew you going to be long, memorable and without end? Your plan, your life choices for action items, affects this. My wish for you is that your eulogy, one day in the far distant future, will bring smiles of joy and thanksgiving to others. May the room light up simply by talking about you. In this way, rest assured, your life, your spirit will be alive for always in others and continue to impact those you love and hold dear!

Give it to me Straight

Ever wonder why folks are so reluctant, as adults, to be totally honest with each other? Yes, often times, what is said is what the recipient wants to hear; an endorsement, of sorts, of the asker’s opinions so as to avoid any confrontation. Sometimes these white lies can build to the point where the communication is so far from the truth, it is almost as if a rubber band has been stretched to the breaking point.

We can all take a lesson from children. As the saying goes, “out of the mouth of babes. ” Children are honest, at times, brutally honest. If you ask a child if he or she likes something, you will get the truth. It does not matter if you have slaved in the kitchen breaking out in hot sweats for hours. If they don’t like the meal, they are going to tell you, with or without your prompting. Wouldn’t we all rather hear the truth though that a fabrication of reality?

I often watch my grandchildren interact with each other just to see these phenomena. There are two of them, relatively close in age, and when one does not want to share, the other one knows it without a doubt. Even as children age, they still tend to be quite honest. I will never forget, years ago, when my darling nephew, around 7 years old at the time , Nic Taylor said to me, after opening his present for his birthday, “Please Aunt Ronni, don’t buy me more clothes!” His mother looked dismayed but I was overjoyed. I do not want to spend money on something someone does not appreciate. From that day forward, I seldom have bought him one article of clothing, except for a football jersey he asked for! How much better is that than not knowing what someone is really thinking?

There is a lesson to be learned, quite simply, from children. Be upfront and honest with others. We can be more diplomatic than children often are and show more sensitivity but yet speak the truth. There is no need to rip something out of someone’s hands we want or throw a temper tantrum if we are not getting the attention we want. But, imagine a world where adults care enough about each other to be honest. Imagine, when someone asks our input, we tell them quite simply, objectively, what we feel without filtering down so badly it does not really resemble more than just a mirror of what they just said. Also, are you really helping others discern the truth from fiction in their life if you are not honest with them?

O Come All Ye Faithful

Months ago, I was working with a team of women for the Relay for Life event in Williamson County. The day of the event, I happened to be at local mall in that area and was pretty excited about the upcoming festivities. Hence, I was telling the store clerks in New York & Company about it and inviting them to attend.

A young man behind the counter told me he was scheduled to work that weekend and could not attend. While he was saying this, he was unhooking the clasp of the beautiful chain he had around his neck, sterling silver with a sparkle when the lights hit it directly. This was not custom jewelry. Without a word, he handed it to me. I looked down at the chain and back at the young man’s face and asked why he was giving it to me. He simply said “My grandfather was a wonderful loving man who died years ago of cancer. I always wanted to do something to let him know how profoundly he touched my life. This is my opportunity. Take this chain that is so dear to me and expensive and use it to raise money to find a cure so no one else has to suffer the same fate my grandfather did.”

I was humbled by his generosity. Here was someone quite young, working in retail and offering up something near and dear to him to help others. I was so excited I quickly got on my cell phone and called our team captain to recant the story.
An hour later I arrived at our tent, home base, for the Relay with my fellow team members. They had, by then, all heard the story about the necklace.

One of our team members was not going to be able to join us though. We were saddened because her cancer had returned and we all wanted to set our eyes on her and let her know she remains steadfast in our prayers. We decided, as a group, instead of auctioning the necklace we would give it to her, with the story told to me, and hopefully give her a new leash on life. God works in mysterious ways and maybe, by passing on this necklace we could instill even more faith and hope in our dear friend’s heart.

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Fast forward to yesterday, Christmas Eve. I was doing the last minute run to the mall and happened to be in the same store and lo and behold, the same young man was there behind the counter. I told him what was done with his necklace. He asked for an update on her current situation. I told him she was still in the heat of the battle. Reluctant to give up, her determination was guiding her to continue fighting even harder, with another round of chemotherapy with an ‘experimental’ treatment she was to begin shortly.

The young man thanked me repeatedly for letting him know who his chain had gone to and her story. Then, without a word, he removed a gorgeous bracelet he was wearing and held it out to me. He asked me simply to give it to her and let her know it is a Hail Mary bracelet. He went on to tell me he is a Catholic, devout in his faith. He said the bracelet signifies to him prayers are being said by all and he wanted her to know, with this gift, he will continue praying for her.

I tried to refuse as the bracelet was gorgeous. It had images of Virgin Mary, the crucifix, stations of the cross, etc…beautifully painted on each bead. As I looked it over and scanned the back of the beads, they also have painted images on them and were completely different than the images on the front of the beads. It was , simply said, gorgeous. Full of Christian meaning with those images staring back at me. He told me he could easily get another and it would mean far more to him to know where it was going than to wear it. He said he believes in the Hail Mary prayer and has used it repeatedly through out his life. He simply said “I want to give the gift or prayer to your friend and let her know, with this bracelet, others are praying for her.”

I took down his email, at my request, because I felt I wanted to follow up with him with updates on her condition. He was humbled that I asked to stay in contact with him as his gift had no strings attached. He did not even give me his name, merely his email. He was simply a servant of God not interested in attention or praise. Yet, when I told him I would indeed take it to her this holiday season, his face lit up like I had given him the gift! He thanked me repeatedly as I repeated his words to me, thanking him! The line was beginning to back up in the front of the store, but all present within an earshot of this conversation that heard this encounter moved or said a word. I think all were taken in by this simple gesture and gift of this young man to some woman fighting to stay alive this Christmas.

I walked out of the store, once again, reminded God is alive and well. He is showing himself in the strangest of places. Just like the movie years ago George Burns starred in Oh God, the almighty really does reveal himself in the simplest of places. Here in the face of this young man working retail was a love of mankind so pure and a gift given freely with no expectation in return. How wondrous!

I thought about this young man many times yesterday and in particular when I attended a candle light service. As the lights were dimmed in our church, illumination in the church only by burning candles each member of the congregation was holding, I again reflected on this gift. I was reminded, just as the wise men brought gifts to our baby Jesus laying in a manger, this young man was bringing life to a complete stranger through me. This man’s gift represents hope, love and faith.

I hope, after reading this account, you all will remember that the true meaning of Christmas comes in no set size package, no particular form or person but solely from God. If we open our hearts, the gift is there not only at Christmas time but always.

Merry Christmas to all! Rejoice! Do you doubt the magic of the season? Look no further……

You can help cure the world this Christmas

We need alittle Christmas year around. We need to take that giving attitude and let it be incorporated in day to day living. Think of the difference in the world with just a little bit more thoughtfulness, a little more compassion towards others and lending a helping hand to those in need.

I sit here and imagine a world with this helpfulness played out. I see a world with more smiles and less tears. I see more healthy lives and less people dying needlessly. I see more neighbors being neighborly, verses battling it out in civil court where no one truly wins. Who instills the peace when hatred brews?

Yes, this season is full of happy stories. My sister’s quest for getting her college degree, after many years, has finally been realized. More solidiers are coming home from overseas. But I also see such horror stories abound! A Bengals football player died this week after falling out of a truck during a scuffle with his fiance. Three young children will never get to know their father growing up. Christmas this year will not be with daddy there. Was no one aware of the turmoil brewing in his relationship with his fiancé so that this event could have been prevented? Now that he is gone, do folks care?

How about all the children fighting illness in the hospital, is that worthy of our time and attention? They are millions of donors waiting for organs so they can see another Christmas. And yet, when you turn on the television this week, one week before Christmas, we are repeatedly hit with images of Tiger Woods infidelities. Stories that we are hearing from questionable sources out to smear his name and get their couple minutes of fame. The media seems hell bent on smearing his name. Forget the fact he has a wife and two children, it is more important to networks and magazine publications to boost ratings. He wanted privacy to deal with his indiscretion. What benefit is it to any of us to continue hearing all this smut? Is anyone's live being enriched with this knowledge? What ever happened to the days when this season, Christmas, brought happy stories to the air ways, to our homes, to help warm our hearts?

Please push back. Too many people are sitting by the sideliness waiting or avoiding the difficult tasking of taking up a stance. Saying the words, enough, we want change, we want responsiblity by all. I have seen family members sit idly by while loved ones fight cancer, not saying a word to a loved one. Not a peep about the differance a cancer fighter has made in being alive and impacting others lives. More concerend with living their own lives, whether that person be a mother, son, friend's child. Do you think the cancer victim does not sense this? Do you think it is any less painful because they are fighting to stay alive that others avoid them and don't let them know they are loved and they will be fighting for a cure long after they are gone? Be strong and be supportive of others going thru tough times. Have the direct conversations, don't let things go unsaid, seize the moment. God might have made it just for you. Are you listening?

You have a voice not just this season, but always. Use it. If the show you are watching is doing nothing to advance our world, is it worth watching? Are you slandering others when you yourself have sinned? Are you caring enough about humanity to help others? Do you make a positive difference? If not, let that be your Christmas gift to the world and yes to yourself. God asks very little of us, please give. The world is waiting. We need you to care. Will you step up?

The World's Christmas Wish List

Friday night began, what I hope will become a holiday tradition for me. This was on my bucket list for many years, a Christmas party in my home for my close friends. It was my way of celebrating the season, having them connect with one another and give them a night to remember. For is not the season of Christmas the season of giving? This was my gift to me, giving them a forum to enjoy life, celebrate our diversity and come together in prayer for things that really matter to us all.

The festivities were planned to the utmost. Games were preplanned by me with details reviewed way too many times. I think my eyes were growing weary reviewing my list to make sure not a thing was remiss. I created the games myself and made certain there was a complicated one, involving the need for a project manager on each team. It was my version of the Great Race in my home, but with activity challenges planned that tied in with the holidays. The groans could be heard around the room as I explained the lay out of their team building/bonding adventure. It went without a hitch and I stood back and reveled in the personalities present, the childlike abandonment of healthy competition among women!

Though the evening was a celebration it was also a time for reflection and prayful thought as to what this world truly needs. I could not begin the evening festivities without having a moment of silence and prayer thanking each of them for what they bring to my life and to this world. This was followed by what I felt was the most inspiring dialogue of the evening. Each person was asked to add to an adult Christmas wish list, one item they wish for our world.

As the progression around the room began, each time someone had to reflect on a wish for the world and add to our adult Christmas wish list, the room became somber, thoughtful and silent. Hearts felt heavy with sadness on what is needed in our world. I imagine this is how our Father must feel looking down from the heavens. How can I have created so many people with so many talents and yet they so easily forget to share them or to consider their neighbor’s needs?

Several party goers jokingly asked for tissues. Some commented this seemed too sad to be a part of our party. However, not one person failed to come up with a suggestion that would truly make this world a better place, be closer to what God had envisioned for all his children.

My original thoughts for my blog were to detail this fun evening of love and laughter. After looking at the list in the light of the next day, I knew in my heart what God intended…that is, this list should be shared. When I think of my friends, I want to remember their wishes for the world. They speak volumes…about human compassion, suffering and how to advance our people as we are all interconnected.

Our wish list included the following:
• Peace in the Middle East and an end to senseless fighting and killing of others.
• It included several requests for our military personnel to be able to be home, on safe soil, with their families to enjoy the holidays and live out all the days of their life in stability in the world.
• We also want homeless people to have a place to call ‘home’, a bed to sleep in and their basic needs met.
• Many felt the spirit of volunteerism needs to be revitalized, asking each of us to carry a torch for something that matters to us as each of us can make a difference and more of us need to try to do just that. Nomatter how busy are our lives are, we all agreed, volunteerism is the spirit of giving at work.
• A reoccurring theme was the eradication of cancer, of diseases that are killing innocent people often times in a horrific painful way. With all the attention given to media scandals, why cannot this time and attention be spent on saving lives?
• The request was made to add to our growing list to help everyone everywhere be real with each other, leave biases aside and learn to be open and listen with a forgiving mind and loving heart. Someone else expanded on this thought by stating how the world needs to foster more compassion for our fellow man. Think of the difference this would make to our world!
• One of my friends stated a wish she tries to live by, learning live each day with no regrets at the closing of the day. The power of this request hit everyone present. It would force everyone to think before reacting, and be more deliberate in what we do as to make this world a better place. It implies accountability for our choices and responsibility, virtues that often get lost in the hustle of the everyday live.
• Some spoke of tolerance and of embracing diversity. One friend expanded on this stating her own silent prayer that children everywhere, nomatter who or what they are or stand for be given a chance for a rich education and adequate health care so that they can have a future. They are our future, the children of the world.
• Last said but certainly not least was freedom, in every sense of the word. We pray for this civil right for all.
Yes, my best Christmas gift has already been received. Knowing that I brought friends together and that out of that friendship came so many words of wisdom and reflection for the world warms my soul.
I know each and everyone present Friday evening will forever remember that experience of sitting still, in a room full of Christmas lights and listening to hearts open up as never before. Strangers became friends in those quiet moments of reflection.
I wish I could express in writing the power of the moment, the and the impact of the wishes spoken we all felt but anything I write will fall shy of the mark. But, I can say, God was among us. He attended my party. I know God was smiling as we opened our hearts, one by one and let each others prayerful wish list reach our soul. We prayed that night that these wishes stated above, would be heard above all other wish lists for material things. A new vacuum cleaner, a new video game and a gift card are wonderful items but do they change the world?

Please open your heart to pray this holiday season for things that matter and can make our star, this world, shine a little bit brighter!

Plan B

Not everything in life turns out the way we expect it to be or the way we desire it to. That is part of the challenge in life, truly learning to roll with the punches so that we avoid them on the next round! When I look at the faces of my grandkids, so inquisitive about life, I am struck by how early on we learn this principle. And we truly are survival of the fittest!

On that note, my career has taken a turn. I am no longer working for the American Cancer Society and wanted to update any of you that have followed my blog in the past. I realize now that giving to a cause can take many forms and there are always options. I am choosing another option. End of story.

With the closing of a year and the starting of a new one, I am invigorated about life. I see many doors to choose from to open, sort of like “Let’s Make a Deal”, the deal of life, of choices of opportunities. Which door are you choosing to walk through and why? Are your reasons the right reasons for making that choice? If so, I would love to hear from you! I find the best learning in my life is from stopping and listening to others, hence I am all ears.

As I embark on a new chapter, I am hoping to have the flexibility with my schedule to blog more regularly again. The writing process is something I enjoy and the feedback from others, priceless!

American Cancer Society's Signature Pink Event

Hard to believe for all those steadfast participants of last year that this year's Making Strides against Breast Cancer is upon us again. The walk is again scheduled at LP Field and will be held on Oct. 24, a Saturday in Nashville TN. Something tells me the sun will be shining because God will certainly be smiling!

Seeing people from all walks of live join together for one common cause is truly inspirational. It shows what the true meaning of community is and what the power of community can be. I love to see the faces of new comers to the event, as they stare in wonderment at the sheer volume of folks standing in the street, hearing the cheerleaders shout long before they are seen and as music is blasted throught out the downtown streets.

The flurry of 15,000 walkers, knowing that each step is putting them one closer to better treatments, more money for services and greater awareness to decrease diagnosed cases is divine.

Pink is the chosen color of the day to commerate little girls, though males can and do get diagnosed with breast cancer! I encourage each and every one that hears of this event to consider participating in some fashion. My team is Make Some Noise but the best gift of all is heightened awareness for everyone and a quiet moment of prayer. If you do that, trust me, God will smile even brighter and as the rays of the sun pierce down that day, truly we will all know and feel His warmth!