Live that Dream

Hearing from a dear friend was a great reminder of the challenges so many face of trying to hit what seems to be impossible goals. Living day to day, it sometimes seems easy just to be status quo and forget about reaching beyond. When you have a friend with dreams, be supportive of their desire to pursue their goals.

So many feel defeated by past experiences and as if there is nowhere to go but spiral downward or simply exist. Reality is, so many can continue on their journey, no matter what their age is or obstacles, if they have the drive. Be a person that gives them the added support and push.

I remember years ago, as a non-traditional student in college feeling, at first, out of sorts. I was so aware of being older than the traditional aged student, 18-22 year olds. I was an aging 28 year old mother of two.  Within the first two weeks, I saw several quite older folks walking on campus, I simply assumed they were professors as quite a few I had were old. Note, age of old is all relative to my own age now, at any point in my life! 

About the third week in college, while waiting outside a classroom for a class to start, I found myself in the hallway and one of those older persons approached me. Wow, I thought, a professor is going to talk to me outside of class. Maybe I can get some brownie points when I take his class when he finds out how personable I am!  I found out he was giving me tips on my current class. He had taken the same class I was waiting to begin the previous semester! He was a student! When he walked away, several colleagues next to me told me he was a  cool dude!  Learning and seeing firsthand a man who had retired tackling a college education stuck with me for years.

Working at a figure salon later on, I saw women who had battled weight loss their entire life. Being labeled fat and called out the various names these women deal with daily has to be disheartening. So much of society judges us by how we look. Some people never get past that.  I have held hands and hugged women as they cried over their weight which, to them, seemed impossible to overcome. With some, it is impossible for various reasons. Meeting women who set realistic goals and set about changing their own paradigm in life about eating and coping to combat weight issues was so admirable. If you run into someone dealing with this issue, recognize the demons go far beyond simply the numbers on the scale. The stigma from society and the coping mechanisms have been in place, usually for a very long time. That is much harder to break than counting calories. Positivity and patience with their short-comings goes a long way. They will break, be there for them when they do, not just when things go well.

I once had mandatory reading as a Director of a book called The Dream Manager by Matthew Kelley. It focuses on not only reinforcing the dreams of employees but mapping out plans on how to make them happen. If an employer can do that, we should all be able to lend a hand simply in ways that we can, be it by listening, advising or giving resources to those trying to make things happen to better themselves or achieve the impossible.

I believe for some of us, dreams have happened. For some of us, some dreams may never come true. But for millions, their dreams have not happened and can still be realized. To doubt the ability of someone’s wishes materializing is it to doubt the magic of the human spirit to preserve among amazing odds. So the next time you hear, I really want something from someone, tell them to fight hard and they can and will make it happen!

Dream songs Dream Weaver    I Like Dreaming    Dreaming of You

One Fine Day......

The day had started out so nice

Not a cloud in the sky

The friends started out that morning

With no sign anything was awry

They were headed someplace exciting

Going to a huge state fair

It was a day of girls’ adventure

A chance to get away and be just anywhere!

As they hopped in the car,

Laughing and throwing off their flip-flops,

They revved up the music and made a pact

Let’s get there fast, no pit stops!

Off they went onto the expressway,

Smiles lit those three women’s faces,

Not a care in the world,

The driver acted like she was in the races!

About half way there,

Traffic jam,

Faces froze,

Oh damn.

Vehicles began merging left,

As they grew agitated in the car,

The perfect day seemed marred.

The driver decided to stay in the right lane,

This way they could see what was wrong,

It seemed like a good strategy,

Many are fickle but these women are strong,

They were hanging in there

Till the last minute when they had to change lanes

As they edged forward confidently

Dancing in the car with each refrain.

Then they saw it

Mouths gaped open wide

Not a word was uttered                              

Water reached up to the sides

It must have flooded in this place

And the run–off water was right there

Now they saw they were surrounded by it

Not a word was uttered as they simply stared.

As the bubbles quickly rose

The car was swirled in foam

Two of them lay back peacefully to sleep

Knowing God would take them home.

The passenger in the front seat though

Was frantic to stay alive

She wanted to save herself and her friends

And knew help would not arrive.

As she surveyed quickly the scene

Playing it through her mind like an outsider

Moving towards oxygen at the same time

Giving up was impossible as a fighter.

She knew she would have to

Open the window or never survive

So she unbuckled her friends

And got one last drag of being alive

She grabbed the window and began turning the knob

Holding her breath with all her might

Accepting now whatever the outcome.

Social Interaction Still Matters

OMG, I have been on vacation! My cell phone was down because of a lost charge! My Facebook has so many notifications, so much activity and I have tons of emails. I flipped to Twitter and the activity there is unreal. How am I going to catch up and which one should I tackle first? Hell, I will never have time to unpack or pick up the mail!  I need to go back on vacation on that cruise ship to get away from social media!!!! Help me, I am drowning on land! 


Emails coming in reminding you of birthdays for people you knew ten years ago. Then you struggle trying to remember who they are realizing why bother?  If you sent them a note,

they probably don’t remember you either and your wish doesn’t mean anything anyways!

Direct messages on Facebook and Twitter come from  total strangers of the opposite sex saying Hello. What the heck is that supposed to mean?  Let’s start a conversation from someone who is probably pretending to be a person behind a profile picture. Oh, are you so desperate for friends you will reach out to anyone and everyone.  If so, go stand in the middle of the street in NYC! That is probably safer.

Tweets that ask you to follow me and I will follow you. Why?  If you are saying anything of substance, I already would be! Now that you are saying that, you are showing the world you have nothing worthwhile to say except you are desperate for people to hear you say anything, even something as stupid as listen to what I say even when I am saying nothing of value!

What is the deal with Facebook forwards that say stuff like forward this to 20 people to bring good luck? Hell, you want to send me good luck, give me a lotto ticket! I have a much better chance of getting some good luck that way then you sending me twinkling stars or a picture of a doting angel and then harassing 20 friends with a chain message. Actually that is a sure fire way to piss off 19 friends!

Let’s forget talking live and communicate everything on texts on our phone. Then let’s hope the inflection of what we are trying to say comes across even though half or more of what we communicate comes across in our tone and it is completely lost in the written word. Nobody writes in text like a literary author so gone are the ‘missing you horribly’ or ‘sincerely hope you are having a great day’. Texts are written like computer programmers:  How RU?  Feel OK?  Nice talking 2U (insert 😃 face) Body language doesn’t show but it is substituted by one of the fifty emoji’s.🙏🌈⭐🚩🎸  End of conversation. Wow, that was rewarding, NOT

What is with the incredible long streams among many members on Facebook Group Direct Messaging that you have to run up and back down to figure out who the hell said what? Half the time I am responding to my own damn words!  Wow, does that look foolish but the stream gets so confusing. One time a close friend said, hey, I am starting a new group. It was the same group! She just said, unbelievable to me, I can’t follow this anymore or I will need to go into counseling. It is like hearing white noise to follow the stream any longer!

How many selfies can some folks take? Isn’t it easier to just look in a mirror? They are in your home, there is a rear view mirror in your car and carry one in your purse if you can’t stop staring at yourself. I don’t need to keep seeing you in my social media stream. I have news for you, day to day, you don’t change! You aren’t a baby that is going thru massive changes day to day in the development process. You don’t get bigger except perhaps in the waist line and if you keep posting them, perhaps in the head as in ego.  If you do get bigger in the waistline, or perhaps in the butt, do you really want the rest of us to see it?

Oh and selfies count as your feet. Please, post the pictures of the beach!  And men tell me, as far as your thongs (flip flops) if you are going to post those, post a real thong, They are a whole lot more exciting than your bare feet. Women, it is a misnomer that most men have a foot fetish! You may care about how your feet look  but nobody cares to look at your feet on social media posts. Let us feel like we are watching the Travel Channel and living vicariously through you, and that doesn’t happen by looking at your toes.

What is with all the unwanted emails coming in my inboxes these days?!  You unsubscribe from one site and in its place 5 others suddenly appear within days in the same category. Your name is being sold constantly on mailing lists and you have virtually no control over it. And the emails never make it to your SPAM folder anymore. If you are new to social media, you think you are the hottest commodity in social media overnight!

Be wary of filling out any questionnaire for politicians, even your favorite one! The minute you do, you become the top request for donations for that candidate and every email they send out on any and all policy issues they stand for! Heck, even if you post something negative on a politician’s site, which I have on several, I am now getting their emails even after unsubscribing. For some reason, they think, enough messages, they can change my mind. I may pay them to stop!

Balance out your posts. I love looking at a timeline on anyone’s page where I learn about the person and see inspirational posts. Why do some folks do nothing but posts links. I am not going to constantly read links. If I wanted to read the news constantly or other articles, I would go to google, or news site pages. Twitter is notorious for this. Someone’s page will be nothing but posted link, after link, after link. In the bio someone will say they are an expert. An expert at what, posting links to other experts in the field they say they are a Master at?  Yeah right.

I do believe in social media and I think it serves an invaluable service. The drawbacks are numerous and in many ways it has added a new dimension of stress to our lives. It has also eliminated needed dialogue to interpersonal relationships. That missing element is hurting families and friendships, no doubt about it. Be the change, as families lose that connect, children will suffer. Be sure you aren’t part of the problem but part of the solution. Remember use hashtag #SocialInteractionStillMatters!

God Can We Make a Few Personal Changes on the Next Go Around

I kind of doubt people, like cats, get nine lives but I am not so sure we don’t get another go around. I have friends that believe that they have been here before. Some swear that they

are experiencing Deja vu, particularly when they hear someone overseas yelling something in a language they haven’t learned yet but distinctly know what is being said to them!  There are other instances that stand out even more clearly making them believe in reincarnation. Let’s assume we do, I want to be prepared to tell God where I think He went wrong with me so that the same mistakes aren’t made. Constructive criticism is always a good thing, right?

Let’s be clear about one thing, in general I am not shy. Having studied communications, public speaking has been a big part of my career path. However, God failed to give me the gene of innate singing ability. I have an amazing ear for music, and detect perfect tone, and an appreciation for all genres of music. But the one thing I am lacking is the one passion I so want, the ability to open my mouth and sound like a songbird. Dear God, I know I have the “It” factor and would definitely have that showmanship and touch millions of people’s hearts if only I had the voice I was destined to have. When you created me with the need to turn off the mic when I start to sing, you missed the mark.

Have you noticed all the beautiful feet on the women you made?  I know vanity isn’t something you placed a high prize on after Eve’s antics but with the advent of the sandal for high fashion for women, it wasn’t long before pedicures followed. Shortly thereafter began men’s foot fetish. How come I was left out here and given boat feet?  A size 11 foot for a woman would require a two appointment booking for a pedicure, twice the cost and no matter how good a job was done, it is too much to take in for any man in ‘’just one look’’.  When a man’s mind is on a boat, it is not thinking of a sexy looking woman.  My feet have been bigger than all of my husbands for Father’s sake. (See, I know not to use your name in vain!)

I raised my children as a single mother. I suppose that means I did a lousy job in picking some husbands.  Lessons learned can be invaluable though I can't blame you for poor choices in that category fairly. You created tons of options!  My father wasn’t good at mate-picking either on the first-go-round either. He got divorced too.  He raised my sister and me for a while as a single father.  In a few years, he remarried. Shame though that his new wife hated my sister and I. Could you have made us not a constant reminder of our biological mother? Or maybe, God could you have made her love us both a bit more? Next time, give it a more thought. Being a kid feeling hated many times was not exactly a whole heck of a lot of fun.  It was so apparent we were the step-kids like the ugly misfits growing up. There were some good moments in there but overall feeling as an outsider in your own home was kind of like living in the SPCA waiting to get adopted by a loving family that wasn’t going to hold your genes against you. I wasn't crazy about the clothes from Sears mail catalog, I look back and think I looked geeky. Or maybe I was a nerd? 

This experience though, gave me some insight so that part was good. I developed into a compassionate woman but I have to be honest with you, lighten up on the sensitivity measure please.  It sometimes makes me feel you subjected me to feeling perhaps a little screwed up for life, more so than the rest of the folks I hang out with. But maybe that is why I am so funny. Don’t you think I am funny God? Bet you laugh your ass off when I get to heaven God! Oh and extra thank you for not putting “It is sinful to use the words ass or shit in the Ten Commandments.” 

My children never knew and still don’t know their grandmother, my real mom that is. We didn’t rekindle any kind of relationship till I turned 50 and about then my daughter disengaged from me. Maybe the right word is dumped me. She essentially decided all of my support for her all of her life was done so she no longer needed me anymore so why keep me involved. I think she wanted a friend and not a mom but thank you for not making me that. I am not so sure she’d have gotten to where she is if I’d have been a BFF.  I know she wouldn’t have if I did what my mother did to me, high tailed it out of town with a guy I met in a bar and flip flopped from one to another, living on love, or is that lust?   Her letter to you would suggest you find her a new Mom and maybe I can relate because at times, I wish my mom had been made different too, like one who stayed around like I did!

The irony God, you know, is all those years I was there for my kids making so many sacrifices unlike my biological mother. Close to the same time my daughter dumped me, I really began to notice things changing with my son.  He got so busy in his own life that he didn’t have much time to really be a son anymore. You made me into a burden to him, something that is often forgotten, something that gets replaced with friends, vacations, parties, etc.… Can you make me more fun and worthwhile to my son next go round so I can have enough attention that my ego isn’t bruised?  At 58 I’d prefer to get the attention my friends get from their kids. Thanks though for the forewarning, make friends with my friends’ kids and ask to be adopted or the nursing home is going to be a lonely place with no visitors. As I tell my mother, you left your kids and I stayed with mine and you get to get real old and die with a relationship with yours. I don't get that with my daughter loving me unconditionally and a son that won't come see me like I come to see her. So maybe leaving me wasn't the worst thing she could have done afterall and she should really stop apologizing now.  I am where she was all those years ago.  God, you really screwed that up, sorry to say , from my perspective and my mom's.  Rework the plan next time or make me a total bitch so shit doesn’t hurt!

Cancer was a shocker in my life. I think I'd have liked to keep my breast. But I do believe that it has helped me stay motivated to work for this crummy disease that takes so many beautiful people, and not so kind people. But a life is a life, they are all worth trying to save. And  you know how much work I have done trying to save them. Can you help me make even more of an impact next go round?  I have a few friends that died too young. I would switch places with them so they could have hung around longer with their kids. They had kids that so loved them and just bawled like their entire world ended when their mom died. I think I would have rather switched places with them and not see their kids die abit inside. I know, your plan is the plan. And their death and their kids keeps me fighting and I have made an impact, but geez, is there another way to teach lessons than having women have to cut off body parts?  Pardon the pun but it feels like a booby trap that just ain't funny God. 

And in the pet’s category, what were you thinking?  Yes, God finds homes for all his beloved animals that need one. But why couldn’t I have a good one, a calm one, not ones that should be on Prozac. My last two dogs are ones that act like they came from the shelter and were abused instead of coming from a breeder as puppies to a loving home, mine!  What could be more loving and stable than me?  Nada more perfect place! Now I have a puppy that eats body parts off of stuffed animals like the last dog.  Isn’t that much like animals in the wild?  Can I have a pussy of a dog next time please?

I want to be rich. I don’t give a damn about being famous. I want to travel around the world, see different cultures and see all the cool stuff you created. I am not satisfied just meeting the kooks you created here in the United States. I want to meet the weird ones elsewhere!  I want to give to the tons of worthwhile organizations out there that no one bothers with that do so many good deeds and go so unnoticed and unfunded. I want to do the work that, if Jesus had been funded, he would have done. Yep, I want money so you can whisper in my ear when I prayer, put the dough here, let the bread multiply here so at the end of the day, I can still feel rich but for the right reasons. I can then hop on a plane and know someone else is super excited and thrilled too. That is the stuff that lights my fire!

Can I be surrounded by sincerity and leaders that care about humanity and the compassion of all of your people or is that asking way too much?  Maybe I pushed the limits on that one since you give freewill. If so, I will back off. I just hate seeing the folks that have the power use it only to enrich themselves and their buddies that are rich and powerful and let others suffer. I know this disappoints you too, people following false leaders with not very good intentions. Also, it sure would be an added plus if friends and people treated each other kindly and with respect for who they are. Why is accepting differences and diversity you created so hard for some people? Do they not see their differences?

God, all in all, you have done a damn good job with my life. Your plan, as its unfolded sure has had a lot of ups and downs, and lots of pylons, my word for hurdles. I know I have banged into a few. Sometimes my driving needs some help, I am directionally challenged!  But when I look back at the journey, every path you took me on led me to a destination that made me smarter than when I took off.

When I look at myself, I am far richer for having gone on this path, the least traveled path and by far, physically and in my own quirky way, less perfect. So maybe I need to reconsider, should I ask for a redo at all?  Aye, maybe I will leave that call up to you after all.  Your master plan is what it is. I rest easier knowing you are in charge instead of me. If I was, hell, who knows where I would land up, probably in heaven a lot quicker actually!  And you might not be ready for me yet!