Don't Bore Yourself!

Life with #Covid19 (Coronavirus) in our midst is different, a much slower pace than most Americans are used to! Activity levels are down and anxiety is up with less to do with it. Never before in our lifetime have most of us lived somewhat quarantined.

As days pass, I am reminded of a college exam in a writing class I took. After getting graded on journals and writing throughout, the final exam would be 30% of our grade. Therefore, we all assumed she would pick some noteworthy or exciting topic. Instead the subject we were to write about was any of the following, boring, bored or boredom. We all got brain freeze staring at the bored, I mean board!

Of all the topics to pick to write about, why did she pick that?  And faced with a blue book that we were supposed to fill with script of creative writing that enticed her to read more and grade high, we all made audible groans. Then reality set in; this class was as much about creative writing as the actual art of writing, hence the topic. This topic stimulated thinking outside the box to write something excellent to read about a topic that anyone might otherwise pass over.

Fast forward to today’s world, most of us are living in isolation. Stores are closed, parks and many of   It is easier to live status quo which right now would be boring.

the activities we usually partake to keep our lives stimulating. Quite easily life can be boring and the true challenge is, much like that exam assignment, to be creative in thinking and actions.

Take the exam challenge! Begin the day feeling eager to come up with things to do besides just passing time.  It does not have to be large tasks, it can be mental challenges, hand-write a note to an old friend, email your family, call someone, pick up a new hobby, etc. Be grateful for the day and the blessings you have always. Go to bed happy and fulfilled with your life. Reflect on what you did differently and what you will add to tomorrow. Remember life could always be worse.  Any given day, if you are 100% bored through the course of an entire day, you are making that choice.  Choose to be stimulated and live!

Mother in the Clutches of Dementia

Dementia is terrible thing. I am learning of just what it robs someone of, normalcy. Perhaps

those suffering from it, in the later stages, don’t  notice it as much but for those interacting with them, it is a flagrant reminder of a mind lost in itself in a land that seems far away, somehow misplaced and never coming back.

My biological mother was diagnosed several years ago with dementia. She joined the 47.5 million cases worldwide. Predictions are there will be 82 million in 2030 and 152 million cases in 2050.  5 Million live in the United States, Mom being one so she is not alone by any stretch.

Living in an active over 55+ community, I still come in contact with an aging population that has residents who occasionally have spouses or parents that have dementia. It is not the same as when your family member is afflicted.  I am not sure much of anything prepares you emotionally.   It is draining just to be in a conversation.  

My sister Terri has become my namesake when conversing with my mother. More often than not, I am not only called her name but all references are to her life, memories of time spent with her and reflections on her thoughts and feelings towards Terri. It is pointless to correct her so I find myself responding in Terri-like fashion.  I call my sister afterwards, tongue-in-cheek, to lessen the heartache and tell her what “she” said to Mom. She does likewise as she is frequently in the same position responding in my given name.

Some of my conversations with Mom these days are about things and people I know nothing about. She will lapse into memories and because I was raised by my father and stepmother, I do not have knowledge of a great portion of her life so have no idea of what she is talking about and she is totally unaware. Any normal verbal cues are gone when dementia hits.

Mom operates on a short fuse. She is quick to anger and to sadness. Either mood is hard to lessen or erase so I am careful to not trigger either!  Being several states away, I am dealing with emotions and dementia over the telephone most of the time so am pretty powerless to do much but listen and send things.  And the requests for items to send are becoming more frequent as she doesn’t recall what she asked for. A letter will come, two in a day asking for the same thing, the realities of dementia in black and white. Envelopes will come without hard to decipher hand-writing talking of things I know nothing of. With the affect it has on our lives, I keep it to myself as like so many others,  no one wants to talk about it though it affects millions of Americans and great numbers worldwide!

Mom is alive yet living at half-mask. What are painful are the times she is more than aware of it and makes statements about how silly and disappointed she is at what her life has become. It is then when I and everyone who has ever dealt with the dreaded disease pray there will be a cure or better treatment options in the future so that elderly do not have to suffer with losing their minds. 

This needs to be freely discussed for the  millions suffering, growing daily, and communicate the importance of early screening!  70% of cases are Alzheimer’s, a more serious form that thankfully my mother doesn't  have. 58% of all patients in the US live in lower income homes so funding is needed so financial resources for dementia are essential too. 

As I look back, it is with a grateful heart I had some wonderful memories with Mom before she was in the clutches of dementia. Now I simply embrace her in whatever way I can for as long as I can watching her mind slip away.

Lessons From My Inbox

• I must love to spend money because anyone selling anything is sending me shit!
• All candidates running need and want my support because they all want to let me know they have my back.
• Somebody out there wants to date me even though I am happily married!
• Somebody in some Godforsaken country picked up a check with my name on it every so often and wants to help me by cashing it. Ah, the generosity of some people never ceases to amaze me!
• Competitors of companies of items I have purchased value my business too because they bombard me with their marketing campaigns and feel I am gullible enough to buy into them.
• Gaining another credit card will increase my spending power (yeah right)
• A new car is waiting for me to pull into the dealership and claim it! That simple!
• If I just click on a link, I will become an instant winner of whatever, some free giveaway. I don’t have to work for it, just move my mouse and click!
• Every site I visited has a log and wants me back!  They know something about what I want to do with my time that I don’t. I need and want to spend it with them, at their place of business, not writing this!

Oh My God, Visitors!!!

I keep waiting for Tessie to slow down, become less exuberant when someone new comes to the door. She is two, how much longer must I wait???

The average day: We wake up to a beautiful day with our wonderful loving pet/child wagging her tail.  Thus begins a new day and she is content, stretching and yawning much as a person rolling out of bed as she steps out of her kennel/crate. 

As the morning progresses, sweet Tess curls up in the lanai on a lazy boy

 chair to take in the outside noises as the windows are propped open, perhaps just for her? She sits silently for hours watching the grass blow and has become an avid Bird Watcher!  Occasionally she will step inside to see what is amiss in the house, with her mom and pops. 

There is that occasional switch to another window in the house for an alternative view of the world.  Notably the front window is a great resting place, where golf carts drive by in full view.

Lo and behold, someone comes to the door…..the world is on edge, Tessie’s world that is!  All hell breaks loose as her bark begins in earnest to announce “Intruders are present and accounted for!”  Even after being assured all is well with us, she continues to breathe heavy, pace and becomes a beast lurching at the door with her front paws.

At these times, a small 10 lb. mutt seems like a slice of heaven compared to a 55 lb. ball of hairy muscle and confusion frantically trying to save the world! Tessie the beast is arisen. Our once gentle passive docile pet is so high-strung it affects both us and our visitors for a moment. 

As we are yelling “Place” her command to return to her safe zone, that being a raised mat she has been trained to go on, we somewhat laugh.  We are not supposed to be giving commands in raised voices but above the thrashing of her body we cannot be heard talking in a normal tone.  Tessie places then pops off. We give the command, then back she goes,,, then off she comes. Usually after two times, Tess is there to stay until given a command to come off.

When our precious ball of fur is released, we go through Round Two. The humor comes into play when we try to explain she is normally very calm-natured.  I believe company brings out the hellion in her and we see a far different side of Tessie than the one out in the lanai that ignores us most of the day. 

So, as she ages, the question remains, will this lovable pup soon learn that visitors are not intruders?  Is Tessie going to back off her demands for attention from every single person that graces her with a visit to her ‘dog cave’? Will she learn that people do not like tongues that have licked other parts of her body on them? And lastly, what is the time-frame that Tessie will quit acting like a dog?