Fall is somewhat like spring in the north. Forget about sweatshirts down here; you can
still wear flip flops outside. Heck, in the south folks wear them year round,
right through the dead of winter. And on
Sunday, the end of September was one of our typical beautiful days that make me
fall in love all over again with middle Tennessee.
Last year we spent a wonderful day at Lucky Ladds Farm with
the grandkids and their parents in Eaglesville, TN just south of Nashville. Just when I thought it couldn’t possibly get
any better, this year it was just fantastic! One more year of intense therapy
for my two autistic grandsons, Jake and Ty Ry and the changes are unbelievable.
I am not sure, sometimes they are even recognized as being ‘special needs’,
especially our youngest one Jake.
I smiled with pride as I stood back and watched them both on
the Farm. I snapped away with the camera
every chance I got. My friends, the
Lameys say I am like a foreign tourist with my picture taking! With these kids,
I want to show the world what a happy family looks like with autism in their
life. My son’s family refuses to let a
diagnosis stop them from living life to the fullest.
As we entered the farm, surrounded by a sea of pumpkins and
people, my two grandsons walked on their own this year, no longer shy or having
reservations about going someplace new There
were no meltdowns, no heads bent, nothing of the kind. They were as excited as
every other kid in line waiting to begin their wild Sunday adventure. Jake was taking it all in, saying a few words
and sentences, at the age of three, much like some of his peers. Ty was giggling and laughing, just like the
happy boy he usually always is; he adapts now so much easier to change.
Lucky Ladd Farm is stock full of things to see and do. There
are farm animals fenced in to feed, a petting area, slides, corn maze, rides
and other things beyond this. Ava, the
big sis, in one year’s time has dramatically improved her language skills. Now she is keeping pass with her kindergarten
class that we weren’t so sure she would be in last year. She easily expresses herself, in no uncertain
terms, like every other five or six year old emotional little girl.
Oh, we stand back and try hard not to laugh, as her parents
find ways to lay down the law to their strong willed daughter without breaking
her spirit. But, as grandparents, we
cave in. “You want a horsey ride? Here is $5.00, pick out a horse to ride
honey, and go for it! ” What are grandparents for?
Last year, Ty was completely afraid of the animals. His mom reminded me of this the other
night. This year, our courageous little grandson was
amazing, a changed little boy. He was fascinated by all of the animals and
could not take his eyes off of them. He
was engaging, feeding them and allowing his
daddy to hold him close so he could
get clear access to their mouths and feed them from his hands. Grandpa and I stood watching, forgetting most
of the time to snap pictures. We were in
total disbelief. Where was our little frightened grandson?
Gone are the two little boys who hated being near
others. This day, thanks to their
parents and the therapists’ hard work, these kids mixed and mingled with
everyone. Whatever they wanted to do,
climb or see, no one was going to stand in their way. Anything they saw they wanted to do, they
went for it. No tears, no fits, no whining. Even the highest slide was not off
limits to these boys. Each boy went down
first with their daddy, my son, gently assuring them they were completely safe
and could do it alone. Next time, he
sent them down alone asking them to help him count to three, and down they
went! Not a peep from either of them except
as soon as they hit the bottom of the hill, round they ran to climb back up the
hill for more.
There was a huge shelter area that had corn kernels in
it. Supposedly autistic children are
funny about things on their hands, or people in their space. Ah, Jake was in that area, front and center,
dumping the bulldozer, filling the dump trucks and as far as being around the
perimeter of the huge area, no he was not having that. Even with all the children in there, he was
determined to be dead center, and that is where he remained the entire time
until I had to drag him out. And I do
mean physically pick him up to remove him because yelling his name did no good.
He would ignore us and then respond occasionally with a “No Grandma” because I
was not mommy or daddy so he knew he could get away with it!
It was time for Jake to move out of the pit, so to speak and
see more of the farm. Slide time was now
and his mother had instructed me his melt down recovery time had lessened and
that he was not to always have his way. I braced myself. His fits in the past
have been long and pretty loud and inconsolable. Well, Jake told me no loudly
and started whimpering. I promptly said
yes to him, and walked in the middle of the corn pit, swiped him up in my arms,
and told him we were going to the slide with mommy and daddy. Those little feet and legs began
kicking. As soon as I said stop it, they
did! Wow, therapy really does work! Shocked I put him down and off we went to the
slide, with a smiling little guy with no tears to show any discontentment.
Ty, once notorious for meltdowns, is now the calm little boy
his daddy once was years ago. When he
breaks down in frustration, from being overstimulated or overly tired, he calms
down quickly for the most part. I have
been instructed what to do and found out Sunday, it works right on cue. On the top of the slide, I could tell he was
getting ready to have a meltdown. When I tried to settle him down, he seemed
more agitated with me. I could sense what was coming so did exactly what my son
and daughter-in-law have told me to do in the past. I picked him up snugly and
when he began kicking, swinging his head, and continued yelling, I simply confined him up against my body
tightly and walked him out away from everyone in a nice quiet area. I put him down and he was immediately fine! He literally looked up at me and smiled! We walked over towards the swings and all was
well with the world. No more long extended meltdown. What a big boy; I could not be prouder!
Standing out on the acres of Lucky Land Farm that was
covered in gorgeous landscaped flowers and haystacks with scarecrows, it looked
like a children’s and adult’s playground.
Gone were the worries of the world.
Also, gone were the labels that the world puts on children. Those
silly labels mean nothing; they are judgmental statements that need not
apply.
Please take a few moments and watch the video. I made one last year also with my blog of the
same trip. It was to show the normalcy
that exists in a family that, on the outside looking in, many people think is
so different. I also get asked a great
deal how my grandsons are doing. This is an easy to way to let folks catch a
glimpse of two very special boys and the loving family that is just as
important to us as they are my two grandsons. Without the other three, those
two would never thrive.
This family, Mike, Rebekah, Ava, Ty and Jake have gone
through tremendous growth this year. Major progress has been made in therapy. Ty
who use to use some sign language, as he was told he would never speak, is
defying the doctors. He is speaking some words now. Hopefully,
the images on the video reflect some of the changes in the boys. Autism in the family requires this, continued
work and continued growth. It is a slow
steady progress, with steps backwards, at times, but more steps forward when things are going
right. It is a constant ever changing journey.
One of things I have learned from my family is that I can
never totally comprehend what it is like, on a daily basis, to have autistic
children in the home. The best I can do is try, try to understand. If we all do that, as a family, as friends,
as a church community and as a society, it helps.
Recognize too, my kids never complain. They love their
children and would not change a thing about any of them. We would not, as grandparents, want to change
anything either, not one hair on these darling children’s heads. Our grandchildren are as God planned, like
all children are.
Many children do not have parents who can care and give them
the alternative therapies these kids need.
We simply ask that others have compassion and pay attention to the
legislation and the changes that need to be made to help these children, their
families and the adults with autism to assimilate progressively to the world. They deserve it. Having proper therapy to be the best they can
be and reach their full potential is imperative as a larger population is going
to become an even greater segment of our adult demographics of the future.
These children and their families deserve to feel like they
do when it is a beautiful day in the fall and they are at a pumpkin farm. Just
like the video below conveys. At the end of the day, that is what they are.
