How many women wish that once in their life they got to date
that hunk that looks like the guy that walked across the beach on one of the
episodes of Bay Watch? I was tired of
the blonde bombshells
So several years ago, in one of my single periods, across
the multitude of nameless faces, I spotted my prey. He was looker alighty but
has to rename nameless, maybe more for his protection than mine. Plus, well I
will get to that later. At the time, I
simply thought for months, out of reach, not in my league however, I did feel
the woman he was with was not up to snuff. How can you not evaluate the women
these guys are with? I found myself sinking to that low I accuse others of
doing, women cat-nipping each other.
So, I eyed him, discreetly at first, than openly hoping to
catch his eye. Over time, I did and flashed my dazzling smile. Okay, that may
be stretching it abit but hey, my smile was really stretched large for his
benefit. With large dark brown eyes, strong shoulders, beautiful thick brown hair,
and a thin trimmed beard to match, he was hot.
His body build was too. When he walked in the room, even the men took a
side eye, sorta glaring at him as their wives and girlfriends stopped listening
to their idle chatter.
He began smiling back at me which I saw as encouragement to
begin plotting my web of capturing him in a lovefest! How to begin with a person out of my
reach? Could it materialize? I knew his parents so I worked
on becoming closer to them, that part was easier because I adored them and they
began to feel the same about me. I was invited, over time to their home and to
home parties. Eventually, lo and behold,
who should be there, surprise, but he. Imagine my surprise, him and I in their
beautiful luxurious home at the same time? Wow, what a coincidence! Imagine my
acting skills playing that one off?
As we began chatting at their home at a party, and I was
internally monitoring my heart rate, I mentioned how difficult it was, at times
to reach his mother. Looking back, how transparent is that? Knowing he worked at the same company as his
mother, he offered his phone number letting me know he could reach her if I
couldn’t. When he flashed his smiles at me during that conversation, I was so
glad my friend was next to me so I didn’t fall back leaving her to swoop me
back off the floor. If it had stopped there, I think I would have been satisfied.
I left that party, two weeks before Christmas happy. Two
weeks later my phone rang. I answered it and Mr. I –Want-Under-My-Christmas-Tree
was on the line. I counted to 10, then asked if he could hang on a minute and
put the phone down. I then made a mad dash around the house two times while my
kids asked me if I had to pee. This was simply to calm my nerves as the hot
looking male model was on the telephone talking to me. Hell, it could be
accidental but my hormones were in overdrive! I was ready to dump the guy I was
dating and hadn’t even picked back up the phone!
When I did, we chatted. He wished me a wonderful holiday and
asked if he could call on me after the holidays. I nearly pulled the phone cord
out of the wall! And thus began my
several months of dating the guy on my wish list and the best and sometimes
worst experience of dating.
What I learned from Mr. I Am So Hot is he did not know how
to treat a lady because he didn’t have to. Women were so ingratiated by being
with him that little was expected of him. Oh, that would not do for me and I let
him know. For some reason, he actually liked this and found it amusing. Simple
things like, calling in advance of showing up when I was a single mother with
two children. Imagine my surprise when I am going over homework with my kids
and he shows up with pizza at 8:30 p.m. at night when it is bathtub thinking he
is super cool to my kids? It was clear he was not daddy material.
Okay, I will say it because everyone wants to know, at least
the women so I will satisfy your curiosity, yes it was great. Don’t pretend not to know what I am talking
about. If you don’t, well I can’t help you there! And yes, he taught me more than anyone in my
life. I am going to go out on the line and assume it is because he had so much
of it. With looks like that, I don’t think getting it was hard for him. So it
was definitely a graduate level class for me that I enjoyed taking! However, in time, his ideas got weirder and
weirder, way outside just about anyone’s comfort zone I know. So NO became a
normal response! Or, “What the hell?”
The other thing about good looking guys I learned is they
can get by with an awful lot solely on their looks. It is funny to me that his
mother told me this. She told me that I would find he lacks common sense. She
was right. He also lacked any kind of sense, he was just plain odd. I had a
hard time following him when we got into any kind of in-depth conversation. And
for my part, if I discussed anything remotely complicated, such as politics,
attitudes towards education, etc..he got lost. His statements back made
positively no sense. I began to think it was pointless to have any discussion
with him beyond where we were going to eat, what we were going to do and what
his latest greatest new invention was going to be.
Oh, did I not mention
he was into an Inventors Club and constantly creating ideas. This was a “secret.” A club that was supposedly “confidential” as
their inventions were to be pattoned thus shared only with members. I was to
feel privileged because he would share them with me. God were some of these the
most useless things imaginable. At least though the other guys created them, my
dude just talked about them and did nothing with them.
Eventually Mr. Hot-To-Trot got so comfortable with me and
turned on by inventions he started talking about them during sex. At that
point, I asked my close friend for advice, “How do you get a guy to shut up
during sex?” Her advice, “Put a bag over his head!” I said “But he is good looking.” She suggested duct tape. I asked him the next
time I saw him if there were any inventors working with new taping products we
could try out as something kinky fulling intending on using it on his mouth. No
luck.
Eventually I learned he had another woman on the side. I was
hurt, disappointed and relieved at the same time. A voice message was left on
my recorder by the woman screaming at me that she had found out about me and
that if I really didn’t love him, please back out of his life so she could have
him all to herself. Far be it from me to stand in the way of true love.
He seemed far more bothered about this than me, calling me
for weeks on end to reconsider. He swore he could see me discreetly without her
knowledge. I pointed out of course he could, he had apparently been doing that
for some time, according to her message. Oh, her second message apologized for
the first, crying and saying it was fine to see him. She was so kooky I
determined they were actually well matched, much better than he and I. Why
should I stand in the way of progress anyways.
I am glad at age 57 dating some hot chick magnet is not on
my Bucket List. It is not all it is cut out to be by any stretch. Being vain is
not really all that fun to be around, it wears thin pretty quickly and leaves
the other person either feeling empty or like me, laughing a lot behind the scenes. His looks
began to look a lot less hot. Oh, you will overlook so much for some guy that is just smokin' that it begins to be hysterical! I really found myself laughing right infront of him. I look back and am amazed he liked me more because of it! What was wrong with him, he should have been insulted. I told him right to his face. What a dufus!
The song “He’s So Fine” doesn't apply
to him anymore. Sad to say, his looks are long gone. He can't rely on them anymore. I am told he looks now like a hobo. Perhaps he never did come
up with that wonderful invention he always dreamed of creating. He was too busy and should have
concentrated on it instead of landing
his next prey.
