5/13/2016

Update from Zephyrhills FL seen thru Northern Eyes



Time for an update from Zephyrhills FL from a Northern girl who is
wondering how she ever landed up in the Sunshine State. 

Bob across the street has a love, other than the love of his wife. Did I mention he has a part-time job? He brings everyone’s trash cans from the curb to the front of the driveway.  Where else in America can you live and find someone who does this for free? Who else makes James Brown’s Living in America so true?  No tipping allowed!

Well Bob has let it be known to me, since I come from Music City, that he loves Loretta Lynn. To quote him, “The sun rises and sets over Loretta. She is the most talented music artist in the industry ever.”  Consequently anything she has ever done, he has. And Bob likes me so much that he has brought over a steady stream of her CDs for me to tape so that I too can listen to her. Do not ask if I like listening because it would not matter. This guy is too sweet to disappoint.

Johnny Cash is next, so now ask me if I have on my computer his music burned? Yep. Patsy Cline, yes her too. Every time I go outside for any length of time, a pattern has developed. Bob comes over slowly walking with something in his hands, more country CDs that are his prized possessions he wants to share with me.  He does not like any of the newer artists, some he has never even heard of so naturally none of mine he wants. Oh well.

We are finding frogs are as numerous in our lot as salamanders. In fact, they really like us. Now not only was one in the lanai but one, somehow some way landed up clear in our walk-in closet. This is astounding given it would have had to hop through the house, through the bedroom, through the bathroom and then into the closet.  What a hopper! 

Confronted with it staring back at me with those bulging eyes when I walked in there, it was met with my blood curdling screams. Jim, Type B personality, calmly is non-reactive. I run out to where he is in the kitchen saying “Oh my God’ to which he replies “Is something wrong” as if that is part of my normal dialogue. I wanted him to pick up this invader with his bare hands. He looked at me like I was out of my mind and goes looking for something to catch the frog with coming back to the bedroom area with a coffee can. In my hero goes to the bathroom area, calmly talking to a frog.

I wish I had a video of my knight in shining area chasing an itty bitty frog around in the bathroom. I was so proud of him in those few moments, gallantly chasing that frog around coercing him into that can with his seductive voice into that coffee can. Nobody can do it as well as him. With the frog placed outside, I could breathe a sigh of relief. And so could the frog as Charley had not eaten him.

He was placed relatively close to our water logged orange tree. This is the one that I mentioned before was not maintained well and needed to be watered frequently. Well, there has been an issue in this area. Jim and I keep neglecting to turn the hose off when we turn it on. The first time it happened, the 15 minutes was one full hour. We each thought the other had turned the kitchen timer on.  Naturally each of us pointed at the other as to blame. 

The very next day our neighbor next door mentions to us, “Hey I saw your water on for a long time. Do you know how expensive water is around here?” Jim was nice; I wanted to say “Hey, smart ass, why didn’t you turn the water off?”  It happened again only this time it was worse.  I turned it on and decided the kitchen timer, though in theory is an awesome idea, it was going to work for us.  Instead we are more punctual folks that work off clocks so we agreed let’s set a time to turn it off. On it went and it was supposed to be shut off at 1:15 p.m. We remembered 15 minutes after the hour alrighty, after 3 p.m.! On the good side, as Jim pointed out, we should have plenty of oranges, when they come in, and they will be quite juicy!  

It was time to update our driver’s license. In a sense, to make ourselves legal in the state of Florida. Off we go to the courthouse and as we approach the parking lot, some bizarre looking birds are standing in front of the building. They don't move at all, blocking both sides of the road not the least bit intimidated by the people or the government officials inside.  I guess they too realize the government is useless and the birds were protesting.

Very quickly, as I am trying to get good photos, my husband begins protesting for me to get out of the car and get them to move. Now, I am from the North and know nothing about wild birds that are as large as my dog! How do I know if they are going to bite me, fly at me and attack? If he is so brave, why doesn’t he do something?  Well, out of the car I go, clicking my tongue like some idiot who knows what they are doing and saying shoo.

I could swear people around the street were laughing, not at the birds, mind you but me!  I wanted to point at the car window and said “He made me do this!”  I continued as they waddled like two pregnant ladies to the curb as he moved the car towards a parking lot leaving me stranded in the middle of the road now blocking traffic myself. At least I got a close shot of the birds with my phone.


To reward ourselves for all our hard work we have still been doing around
our home, we went to our weekly hang out, the ice cream stand.  It was weekly dollar cone night Wed. that we so enjoyed last time. It was peaceful, quiet and serene.  This week, what the hell happened?  Did someone sound a fire alarm or what?  The place was like a zoo on Family Day!  In the space of 40 minutes, the two girls working must have made over 100 cones!  Gone was the serenity we had enjoyed the week before.  But the ice cream was just as good, the price was right so in the end, all was well and we went home fulfilled and knowing, yes we made the right choice frogs, Loretta and all!
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