Marriage is a tricky proposition. Most people don’t know
what exactly they are getting into when they sign the contract. With two simple
words, I do, they are signing up for a lifetime commitment of spending
potentially 24/7, at times, with someone.
Who can stand that much of anyone that, over years, may drive you
possibly insane with their oddities that are so different and unique to them as
yours are to you?
Given that, when my son remarried years ago, I had concerns
for both him and his fiancé’s part that they their marriage would be able to withstand
the pressures of life, time and whatever hardships would befall them. They hadn't known each other long and had met
in the service. Little did they know what was to come.
Over the years, this couple has had more mountains to climb
than imaginable! There has been, to name a few, purchasing a business where the
books had been inaccurate reflecting a much better financial image than was
true, death of a dear grandfather, a mother diagnosed with cancer, a father
dying of a cancer, a severe rift in the family and to top it all off, two
children diagnosed with autism and a third child requiring some extra
tutoring. Along the way, the mother had
to drop out of Nursing School where she was making straight A’s and using her
GI Bill due to the children’s needs.
Watching this relationship develop has been fascinating!
Gone is any sense of innocence of two young lovers and in its place is the
growth and maturity of two very well equipped parents of special needs children. These two actively provide and do whatever
needs to be done to advance the health and the welfare of all three of their
children. They also are certain the kids have opportunities to particulate in
stimulating extra-curricular activities. The amazing progress of their children
(aged, 7,5 &4), which shocks positively everyone that knows these kids, is
reflective of the parenting and the push for the best therapy out there. The
support at home reinforces it.
The success of my son’s business has flourished due to
having developed a good stable home front and marriage most certainly coupled
with hard knocks boss experience. He
makes a mistake one time, and never makes it again! This portion of their
relationship has been imperative as this has allowed for the therapy for the
children. Right alongside my son, his wife has been supportive in any way she
can to help his business thrive, filling in when need be and being a sounding
board at times. However, she is so
careful to enforce a boundary line between work and family. Wise beyond her years in this area, it has
allowed for a healthy home life and the stress of work to not affect the
children in any way.
These two have had a great deal thrown at them but have
stayed steadfast towards a goal. They
will make their relationship work, no matter how much garbage hits the fan! I tried to teach my children putting
achievable goals in your sights, taking steps towards it and jumping over
hurdles, one at a time, is possible. No one will knock them down for you!
Positive attitude gets you farther in life than a hand-out. It is so rewarding to see my son and his wife
play that theory out in reality.
My husband and I are proud of this marriage and feel it
shows to those that know them what large hurdles can be. It exemplifies also
how to approach them and overcome them.
Too much time in life is wasted waiting for a hand out that is never,
for most folks going to come. Don’t
begrudge a system that doesn't work in your favor. Find a way to make it work, dig in. Complaining is counter-productive. Surround yourself with people who believe in
you and have your family be those that love you unconditionally, not people
that judge you and put you down. It is up to each of us to create our own plan in
life and execute it.
God is on your side and gave you the tools to do it. Tap
into your faith, your own reservoir and do so. Mike, my son and Rebekah, my
daughter-in-law have taken what has been to many, reasons to crash and burn and
used it to not just persevere but rise above.
It also has given them the insight to know life is about hard work. Also the realization that relationships that
take work sometimes are the ones that
you fight for, you work hard at and maintain the ties no matter what
happens and are easily the most rewarding.
Perhaps this is one of the strongest messages of Jesus’s
journey. Leading a Christian life and making those kind of choices has its
price. We must follow our gut, our intuition, what feels right, even if it
offends and alienates others who are unwilling to accept and allow us to use
our freewill.
This marriage has sustained because it is full of romance
also, the commitment to each other no matter what befalls their life, be it
work, their children, their friends, their outer family. From the first time my son brought Rebekah to
our home, there were smiles and laughter between these two. That quality
remains. I don’t know the dark side of
the
I love my daughter-in-law and so does my husband. We consider
her our family as much as our grandchildren and Mike. She has been
there for us in so many ways and just as her relationship with our son has
grown, her relationship with us has as well.
Dating time has never lost its place on the family calendar.
And it shows. They have always made trips, weekend getaways,
movie-dinner dates, parties with friends, etc, minus children a part of their memories. It is clear their devotion to each other first
and foremost in order to provide the most loving home for the children. Role models for a healthy marriage and a
Christian home begins with the parents.
Their happiness filters to the children, thus these children are
happen.
As you watch the
video that follows you will see through the pictures the love and its enduring
strength that molds and holds them together.
May it serve as a reminder to you that when faced with adversity, work
through it with faith and determination and never let go of good love! Infact, fight for it!
