Puppy Furr-stration

I said I would never get a dog again. And then I did. I had a lab and said I would never get a lab again. Mine could never be replaced. So I got a lab mix, a labradoodle. Charley, I said was the worst dog ever. Then came Tessie. I was wrong about Charley. And so the story goes.

I see many blogs in my future about Tess, the mess. She is a girl or I would rename her the Tramp from Lady and the Tramp because not only is her color close to his but her hair looks similar, messy  and, if she had a voice, that smart ass personality would be present also.   Heck, I swear she even rolls her eyes at me when she gets exasperated  like when my kids were teens and I was giving the safe sex talk and told them the best way to avoid it is just don’t do it! Maybe Tessie senses I think she is a hussy and we are having a female power struggle in our house.

And speaking of power struggle, I thought the humans were supposed to be in control? I just told her today, I miss Charley. That is my lovely lab that was so devoted to me. You know her response, yea I bet you do. The dog that seldom barks barked at me as if to say, “Tough beans, you are stuck with me, suck it up!”  Instead of being my girl, it is like that song Jessie’s girl and I am Tessie’s girl! She thinks she is the master over me.  Is it too late, at 7 months, to take her back? I looked at her today and found two can play that game then and I barked back at her and she ran for cover!

Speaking of cover, my escape route is the shower, peace!  We have one of those wonderful large walk in showers with a super cool shower head with it that puts out a mist like you are standing in the rain.  Apparently the only time Tess likes the rain is inside, in that damn shower.  And I like my showers alone, at least not with the smell of a wet dog if you get my drift. 

Today, as I am preparing for my shower, I neglected to close the shower doors completely, leaving one up a smidgeon.  As I walk back into the bathroom, standing in where I should have been in just a few moments is Tessie, breathing in the nice warm steam.  I stand outside the door realizing she had, once again, taken her head and bumped the door open and now had her face was upwards soaking up the mist like she was Queen of the House. Daddy was gone and so Tessie’s girl could simply wait till she was done.

Oh hell no is what I said audibly!  And with that, she hustled to the back of the shower out of reach. So we played that game for a few moments until she made

a mad dash out of the shower before I could catch her. By now, being full soaked smelling like a wet dog, she made a b-line for my bed. Then, to compound my frustration, she quickly rolled on the bedspread to dry off before I could grab a towel. Oh, to have Charley back and have a puppy that cared about being in the good graces of mommy!

For some reason, the bathroom is a pitfall for Tessie. The garbage man comes two times a week but in our bathroom it is cleaned out daily.  Our darn trash can is motion activated and Tess has learned how to use her snout to pop the lid, bury her head down deep and seize the contents and tear out of there with them firmly in her grip.  This pup loves eating tissue and paper! I am seriously thinking about writing the manufacturer Ninestars and suggest they put on their label Motion Activated by Hand or Dog Snout.

We always have one particular paper in our house, our community newsletter. Perhaps partially because I write at least one article in it a month, I have to read it. Yes, there is some vanity there.  This month Tessie heard me read it aloud and hated the piece. She ripped it to shreds; get this, not the entire newsletter, just the page my article appeared on.  I am calling her now tear-er instead of terror! 

She has been trained. But I apparently haven’t been. We are both taking refreshers later this month. In the meantime I thought the Dog Whisper might

be a good thing to watch till our lessons. Anyways, Tessie loves watching television in the bedroom at night from the bed where she can see it well. So I taped several episodes. These shows, it is pretty easy to tell it is a dog show by the noises of the dogs on the show.  However, it seems to be the only show Tess is not in the least interested in. I think, honestly, it is because she realizes the dogs are not the master. She is much smarter than the Dog Whisperer. He really needs to come to her house. Note, I said her house, not mine!

About the time I think the breeder needs to take her back and someone offers to take her because they think she is so darn cute, she hops on my lap trying to make up to me.  There is something in me that suckers up to her when she lays her head on my chest and plants those little kisses on me.  I do love how when we play hide and seek, she can always find me and just seems so overjoyed at the sight of me and makes me feel so loved and appreciated. And then her tail wags and I know the bond we have has continued to grow. And I can’t help myself and realize the puppy I brought home is staying here till the day she grows her wings.

But I won’t stop poking fun at her till the day she stops doing it to me!

Life as a Floridian

Life in Florida is a constant learning experience for a Northern girl.  When I moved here, all I saw was beaches in my future, margaritas, Jimmy Buffet songs in my head and ports with cruise ships with red carpets waiting to sail me away to islands I had dreamed of visiting.  Okay, some of it is true, some of the time, and oh, I am not blonde, young or a dreamer just optimistically delusional!

Why wasn’t I told that the afternoon rains you experience vacationing here are nothing compared to the rainfalls living as a resident year round? Why did some friends who have lived in Florida a lot longer than us, Lynn and Bill, suggest we go kayaking with them?  Yep, their idea was to take boats up to some river they frequent. I wanted to say “Hell why take them up to some damn river. We could rent them and just take them down the street. We'll just set ours in the middle of the road and mill around the neighborhood on a kayak and wave hello to the neighbors?” 

Are there beaches in Florida? The last time I went was in March when some friends from up north came down for vacation, their annual vacation! Luckily I had pre-booked a condo where they stayed so I got two days right down by the water too. It is June and haven't been since. The weather hasn't been ideal or I have been busy or any number of reasons but no beachy time. That's supposedly why I am down here!  Rip-off, I want a refund! I wish Cathy and Pam would come back so I could get some more beach time. I am about ready to pay their way!

You know it is damn humid when you take your energetic puppy outside and the only place she will lay is directly under your SUV. I'm not talking just under the bumper but dead under the center of the car, where you can not possibly reach her. This is the spot where you spent 5 minutes begging her to come out from under the vehicle so you can pull the car out and go get some ice cream. How can anyone live in this heat without eating it regularly? I don't intend to find out. Poor little puppy is so afraid of coming out because she doesn't want to risk her paws hitting the ground outside. Those pads will fry quicker than an egg, sizzling like a piece of bacon.  In fact, anyone leashing a dog outside in Florida should be shot.   

I thought I was over hot flashes. Then I moved to Florida and found no one lives here without hot flashes, even the men. This is most definitely true in the summer. By the way, snowbirds, if you have heard the term, are people that live in Florida half of the year. In summer months, they get the hell out of dodge, dodge being their home and hell being Florida!  (Funny huh because Northeners like me flocked down here to get all sweaty on the beach and complain of heat exhaustion in the evening! LOL!) 

So get ready for sweating like never before living here. Hot flashes magnified. I can't help and laugh at those with long hair keeping it down. I know what their neckline looks like underneath, blah!  Either decide to like the not wearing make-up look or prefer the look of rivets of color rolling down your cheeks, chin and neck. Not pretty ladies, the latter,  a much better look is make-up less, as so many find out in time. I call it the Naked Face. It sounds more risque than the au natural and live on the wild side, life is too short.

The ports of calls are nearby for the cruise lines and we have been on a few but the costs are an inhibiting factor. It is easy, from afar, to think it is a tremendous opportunity. Reality is cruises cost money. There are fruit trees down here but no money trees.  I find we don't go on any more than we did when we lived up north except it doesn't entail an overnight stay. Maybe one year I will get brave and be a stowaway or audition for entertainment. Yeah, that'd be good. Now I just have to develop a talent besides banging pans together.     

One of the coolest things about Florida culture is the amount of community outreach work that is done by everyone. When someone comes up with a cause, folks come out of the woodwork to help, time and time again. There are seldom excuses like, “I help with heart disease or St. Jude’s” they just do what they can.  With an attitude of caring about the betterment of society and the world, they are on to something big here. Why can’t the rest of the world carry this spirit? The energy spent whining could be used for creative fixing. 

Floridians like to have fun, they love parties, drinking and excuses to get-together just to be together. Northerners crave alone time.  It is a totally different mindset and hard to get use to when you move here.   Once you understand the logic behind it, the meaning that they feel the joy of life is being together, laughter and experiencing moments in time before we go,  it is hard not to have it rub off on you. Mind you, I still need my down time. I can't do the together-time as much as the true Floridians or the people that have lived here for years but I am working on it. 

Florida is truly a blending of the old with the new. With so many retirees living here and many young people loving to live in the South, it is a culture with change and loaded with tradition much of that from its older population.  You have your story tellers with a deep rich past and young families and youth still forming their stories. What a beautiful thing to be anywhere down here and see the influx and recognize, yes, differences do not mean that folks cannot get along.  At the end of the day, no matter the religion, age, color or political preferences, when the goal is the same, to get along, grow and enjoy the life you are living we can coexist well together in America.  It is really not rocket science.  

It has been fascinating to discover the different characteristics of the beaches here. Each one seems to be unique and yet have some similarities, which is pretty obvious especially on the Gulf Coast verses the Atlantic side. Everyone has their favorite beaches, their favorite amusement parks and hang outs.  It is very much like people, we have our differences,some seem glaring and yet, are they really all that different in the end?  Can't we just enjoy them as we do the beaches and find humor in us all? Floridians are alot like that, they find delight in all the beaches and in all types of folks, no matter how different they are from themselves. 

Florida is not exactly what I envisioned. But it is special, different than other places in the south I have lived.  It has a richness of culture, a playground by the ocean, yes but also a heart that is due to all the Floridians that live here. And I now am a contributing member  and damn proud of it!  When you come down here, be sure to not only soak up the sun but check out how happy the folks are that live here. Take that attitude they have, we have 😀 and take it back with you where you came from. Just maybe we can start a wave of enjoying life abit more in our country. If life's not fun, why live it?