Perhaps that is the message in the song Let It Go from
Disney’s movie Frozen. When I read the lyrics and saw the video, it was a
beautiful example of how someone who had to hide her non-conformity began to
accept it. In the video, the star
character, embraced her individuality. What an inspirational message for all
ages actually.
When I am with my grand-daughter, who, coincidentally is in
love with not only the movie but the theme song, I am always reminded of
freedom of expression. Ava does not hide
behind a wall of shame for how she feels.
She does not fear retaliation for who she is and what she is becoming. She, like the Elsa, wraps her tiny arms
around herself as she is, at any given moment and celebrates the thrill of
life. She will laugh throwing her head back and let out a laugh that comes from
her toes. Her celebration of good humor is simply something to listen to
because it causes everyone within earshot to split at the seams into laughter
just from the musical sound of her laughing, with no reservation. She will
laugh at herself as easily as at anyone.
The messages consumers get, especially women, to always look
your best are pounded in from an early age. Commercial marketing is powerful. Ava is a
party to this already, praising and loving little princesses. But, what is
different about her is the gentle acceptance of herself. She can throw herself
into a beautiful gown her mom can buy her and then, in the blink of any eye,
tear it off and run around in the most unbecoming of items in the house without
a single care in the world! If anyone
were to walk in, which has happened when I have been over visiting, does she
react like most girls and run for cover? Well, here she not in her girly best, pink or
purple, matching clothes with a closet full of beautiful outfits but Ava has no
concern whatsoever to greet anyone with whatever she happens to have on. Not
for one minute would she hesitate to make a guest wait! Ava is front and center with a friend or
anyone that is a guest in her home. You must like her and accept her for who
she is in the same way she will accept you, no labels allowed by this little
lady! And she will greet everyone as friendly as the next person no matter who
they are or what they have on!
Living in the moment is something too many of us do not do.
I think it probably took having cancer for me to get a much better handle on
this. My grand-daughter came of it naturally. I am not sure if having two
autistic brothers has played a part or not but she treasures time spent with
others. If she gets a minute of your
time, she inhales it like it is the best gift she has ever received. Most children take it for granted. Not Ava,
she will let you know in her own unique way that you made her day. She will be engaging, entertaining and create
a memory that will be everlasting. Why can’t we, as adults, embrace our
interactions with others with this same passion? We always seem to assume there will be
another time, another visit, and another day. We have no guarantees that this is going to
happen. We should seize the moments as they come. Languish the time we have
with each other. Give undivided attention when we are with someone we want to
share out time with so that we are not wasting our moments or those.
So many people have thoughts running through their head that
get in the way of listening. These
internal tapes also disallow people to sometimes take down their walls and be open
to each other about who they are. Conformity seems to be a top priority and the
fear of rejection overrides being real with others. Thus too often others put up a façade of who they
are to project an image to gain acceptance. This is stress inducing, unhealthy
and self-limiting. You are who you are
and should be proud of it! Society needs
to stimulate an environment more often than not that promotes this. Once you celebrate your acceptance and openness
of who you are, your own uniqueness, you open the door for others to be
unrestricted as well. Let go of your
preconceived notions and the negative tape of others programming you. This also means allow your children to be
different to some extent.
I pray my grand-daughter can continue to accept her
independence her entire life. May she
always have no self-consciousness about hugging herself for exactly who she
is. I know those of us that surround her
are constantly reminded by her of the importance of staying true to living in
the moment with Ava around, she will never let us forget it.
We can see through her eyes a world filled with joy,things to celebrate! We can learn from her to forget what it is not. With Ava, we celebrate
little things that give color to the world, even weeds that look like flowers
instead of complaining about all the 'have nots' in our lives, the people that
won’t play with her, the brothers that have autism and can’t talk well to
her. She loves them dearly and would not trade them for anything or change one hair on their head. From Ava we see a new way to laugh
at the world, finding humor in the smallest of things, instead of being
miserable when things don’t look right. Yes, a little girl who's immediate reaction is always to smile followed by a laugh.
Most importantly of all, Ava is like the character Elsa at
her tender age of 6. She is learning to take her image of being a little girl
and letting it go. She can be and is, whatever she wants to be. Stereo-types don't mean much to Ava. She is modeling her
mother and her father and all the other people in the world she comes in
contact. And she is being real about it.
And she doesn’t hide who she is but is right there, in your face. I can run faster than boys, dance great with girls, and get over disappointments quickly.
So are you? Are you able to let go of preconceived notions of what the world wants you to be? Are you able to be real with yourself, real honest, and throw out the old tapes in your head of other's expectations and accept yourself and be true to you? Only when you can, can you find that inner sense of peace, love and happiness.
