Your Son Is Gone But Free

Do you ever get over missing a son,

Wishing the past could be undone?

Do you ever get rid of that empty stare,

That reveals the pain that you bare?

At first you are in a trance,

Going through the motions,

Trying to just get through day to day,

While others are giving you devotions.

No amount of words from others,

No amount of praying,

Can help the upper lip from quivering,

The stoic faith you had is fraying.

Your images of your son,

Are only memories from the past.

He is gone from this earth,

So don’t let those fade fast.

It‘s hard not to question why,

It’s even hard to cry,

But as the world goes on,

You know you mustn’t come undone.

  

Reflection is powerful,

It helps us move on,

It may not provide all the answers,

But it allows the soul to look to a new dawn.

Things happen for a reason,

He is in a far better place,

He has been given God’s grace.

You wonder silently,

Did your son’s life matter to others

Like it mattered to you,

Or is because he’s yours,

That when you hear his name,

You feel your heart is torn in two.

  

But you know inside,

Yes, he fulfilled God’s plan,

Your son’s life touched others,

He had become a troubled man.

Not everyone chooses the high road,

Not everyone gets an easy way out,

Some have to pay for their bad choices,

And some are just always shrouded in doubt.

He is at peace,

I know you see him here and there,

But I also see your pain when you look in the distance,

When I see that blank empty sad stare.

Aging, Dog-gone it. Who Me?

The New Year is starting and things around here have slowed down just abit.  That darn tree that was in the middle of our family room is now gone. I never did quite understand why it was standing there. I was not even allowed to pee on it. What is the point of having a darn tree in here if it is not planted and just sits in a pot like it's on the john?  Why water it when there are not roots going anywhere?  Come on folks, this poor tree is not permitted to experience outdoor life like a tree should.  There weren't any bugs crawling on it, not a bird nesting on its branches and you wouldn't allow me to christen the base of its trunk or maybe, more to the point, mark my territory!

Thankfully, that blasted Christmas train has been boxed away too. I got so sick of hearing that music that went on and on, the same song too like a broken record. And that train only had one set of tracks, round and round. No wonder the railroad industry is hurting. Talk about limited transportation! Hell, half the time it is running off the tracks too. 

Well, here it is 2014 and I am hoping it is a good year for me.  Last year was great but things have certainly slowed down in my life some the last year or two.   They think I can't sense it but dogs aren't dumb.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my owners.  My tongue has found ample time to land on my mother’s cheek to attest to that fact!

But, I think my folks think I am getting old. Gosh, I hate that word sometimes. They went out and got me an orthopedic doggie mattress this year.  Yeah, instead of sleeping, like I use to, in the closet in the morning, I take my nap on that large size pad. 

Heck, I am a big 115 lbs. lab so it would have to be big.  And I feel obligated to use it since they paid all that money and it takes up so much space in the room! Oh, it is not because my bones are sore so don’t feel sorry for me. I don't have arthritis or anything. I think it makes them feel better when I lay on it. When I do they always tell me I am a good boy. An added bonus to me is it is harder to jump up on the bed anymore. I sometimes can't make it up there and fall off and hurt myself.  Also, if I lay on the wood floors, my dang legs will stiffen up on me. I will go to stand up and they will sometimes give out or make me limp when I walk like I am some old homeless man.  Geez, you should see my mom react, she sounds like she is going to have a coronary!

I hope this year, 2014, is a healthy year for me. I had way too many trips to the vet.  Heck, even the Vet is sick of seeing me. I heard him say to my mom my immunity is getting lower because of something that sounded like age. But I think he was talking about her, not me.  She looks older, I look the same. 

Nonetheless, I have been taking a lot of meds this year.  I want to stay well more often this year and not have so many issues. I get tired of having problems and not feeling as well.  The folks, they worry too much about me. Yep, this will be a better year for me, I hope so.

The company we had this year was wonderful. I love when people come to see me. I think my folks finally understand that they actually come to see me. 

Secondly, their interest is to see them.  They no longer get their feelings hurt by this.  Soon enough, they will get the attention, after I am out of the spotlight.  It is just a matter of waiting their turn.  

However, some guests feel I must be patient and not be treated as a celebrity. These guests insist I be ignored.  Only when I do the same to them will they acknowledge my presence. I am learning this game. See, old dogs can learn new tricks!  

I remember the days, after company left, I use to run to my folks and beg for one on one attention. Wonder what happened to me over time? Now I can barely wait to head to the bedroom and crash there.  I sleep like a log for a day just to recover.  It is as if they run my fuel tank down to empty.  It is downright embarrassing!

This lack of energy thing has me somewhat worried.  When I am called for ear cleaning, I use to be the master at high tailing it out of the way. I could run them around the house, my parents, so they were on a mad dash after me for up to ten minutes. Boy, were they funny to watch! I usually got caught just getting chocked up laughing at them. 

Nowadays, I don’t have the stamina to run.   For some reason, I see a sadness in Dad’s eyes when I just walk over resigned to ear cleaning with no spunk in my step. I would think he would be overjoyed there is no chase involved. 

Years ago, I was banned from group play at the doggie camp I go to when my folks travel. I guess you could say I am a gigolo.  I tended to come on too strong,or so they said. My folks were told I humped too much. Nice that they were never told the truth, the females in there teased me relentlessly and never ever said no.  

Oh well, I was only allowed, from that visit on, solo play. The girls loss, I got play time with a trainer to myself and love it.  Christmas this year, my mom was told, it was fine to book me back with group play.  But, how sad, my mom told them, because I have so much trouble anymore with my back leg, I would need to remain permanently in solo play anyways.  Life can be cruel. Now I will never be able to play in group play at doggie camp.  I don’t know who was more hurt by that call, me or Mom. Doggone it anyways but hey, I guess I am too tired to hump all the girls that want me to be their man. 

I can’t help but notice, when Mom heard recently about her friend’s dog dying, she hugged me and cried.  She tells Dad that she doesn't know what she will do when something happens to me. You know I am her hero.  I saved her life. I am the one who spotted her breast cancer by slamming her breast. I had kept running into her there for months, her right breast and she ignored me until finally I rammed it real hard. Now she feels she needs to save me. But life is just that way, a circle. 

Dogs don’t live forever nor do people. God finds a place for all those He loves and those that his children cherish.  I know I am loved and cherished.  I hope in 2014 she can accept my aging with grace.   Those that have pets like me can learn from those that lose theirs to accept an aging pet with the same grace and humility they accept their own aging bodies, embrace them with love for the time they have and know that they will one day see their beloved pet again.   Until then, my folks will have this video to watch to remind them of adorable me!   Click and watch if you want to see why they love me so much....VIDEO HERE