4/14/2010

Other Marital Legs of Support





The other night, I was involved in an interesting conversation about children. A group was discussing why everyone says a son leaves his family for his wife but does not say the same about a daughter. Marriage is a bond that is above all others; a commitment to the spouse is first and foremost, even above children and parents. Thus, it is really the same, for both sexes, or it should be.

A marriage is a celebration of a new blended family, not the desertion of the origin of family for either individual. Being involved or uninvolved with in laws is a personal choice. Each individual and couple must make this together. I have always felt the family of origin made it possible for this man or woman to be able to commit. The parents of both sides of holy matrimony contributed and helped form the person saying “I do.” Thus, in-laws are part of the union, a small part but they are most definitely a contributor.

Everyone hears the stories of the wicked in-laws. The jokes abound! In my experience, parents of married individuals want their children’s marriages to work out. Most parents want their children happy in marriage, their grandkids raised in a loving home and with their natural biological parents whenever possible.

It is not easy on either side of the page, to be an in-law or bond with a parental figure that is not from your family of origin. When it does happen, it can deepen the commitment made in marriage. It can widen the legs of support for the relationship to prosper and grow. It can unite two families into one. In spite of the differences between in-laws and ones natural parents, there can always be found some commonalities, if one just looks hard enough. Those commonalities can begin to help forge a bond, one that can prosper and grow much as the marriage does. This is important for the family unit at large. With unity, love abounds.

Sharing your life with others that have created your spouse can open doors of growth within yourself. Sharing your life with a parental figure that helped create your spouse can give you a glimpse into your partner’s past, present and future. Working the bond can be a foundation that can make a marriage stronger, hardier and happier. Marriage is tough work. Why not reach out and build that bond of support?!
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