4/22/2010

Good and Bad Light





How you pick those that you choose to associate with affects you deeply. If you surround yourself with healthy personalities, you are more inclined to have a healthy outlook on life. On the other hand, if you choose to associate with mean spirited, condescending people who look down on others, be careful. You can get desensitized to this type of attitude and worse yet, find it rubbing off on you.

I have always found it amazing how some folks give off such a positive energy. They go thru life smiling, laughing at so many things, including themselves and are just a continual joy to be around. Emulating these type of people in your day to day life is a great precursor to happiness and self satisfaction at the end of the day.

On the flip side of this, though, are the negative energy folks. These people always seem to be surrounded by drama. When it is not there, they create it. They go from one problem to another without ever looking at the common denominator. They are also the type, when given good sound advice from friends on how to change things; they merely pay lip service to suggestions and keep right on trucking down the wrong road.

The key to relationships with these types of people, if you feel inclined to have them in your circle of friends, is detachment or better said, boundary lines clearly drawn. Make sure lines you set are firm and enforced. Their problems cannot become yours as it is a losing proposition. You can quickly fall into an enabler, someone who unknowingly is helping them continue. There is less of a motivation for change when you are totally acquiescent of their choices in life. Also, if they don’t want change enough to make it happen, you will drive yourself nuts trying to convince them of the need. We all must accept responsibility for our actions or lack of initiative to create change. You can be a role model for others by how you live your life.

When it comes to family, the same principles apply. We can choose, as adults, who we want in our inner circle of life. There is the family of origin and there is the family of choice. Blood relations can be held at bay if they are negative energy sources. The type of family members who constantly take you back to feeling as if you are a children again that feels bullied by their wicked tongue, avoid whenever possible. God put you on this earth and wants you to enjoy it and make the most of it. Someone who constantly demeans you is not someone you need to have regular contact with. Try to be less reactive to these types. It matters not whether it is family or friends. These types are crossing into your boundaries and are creating hurts. We must consider the source of criticism before taking it to heart.

Some of us are blessed with family members that truly practice unconditional love. They give without the hope of receiving. They love and pray for others, even those people in their lives that are more fortunate than they themselves are. They feel a sense of pride in other’s accomplishments and no real sense of envy. They celebrate other’s good luck and promote good will to others. These family members are to be treasured. There are not hidden agendas going on in their heads where they are playing games to try to get closer to you only to use you or make others think they care. These people, whether family or friends, are the real deal.

Hold closely in your life positive people. In a world full of negativity and a crowd of insecurity, personal strength and perseverance is vital. This comes from within but also can be compounded by the inner circle of friends and family you create. You are the one that draws the line in the sand; you are the one that decides who you let in that inner circle. Choose wisely.

At the end of the day, ask yourself are you producing light or darkness in your life and others? If you are unsure of how to respond, do a reality check. At the end of the day, do you like the image of what you see in the mirror? Is it someone who emits goodness and joy into our world? Can you think of others that you touched with your kindness, consideration or your smile? Who are you emulating?

If you are producing darkness, change does come from within you but strength can be built from a good support system. You can draw strength from others and use them as a healthy point of reference, mentor their spirit. It is often said in sports, if you play with stronger players, you will, in turn, find your game improves. In the game of life, you only have one shot at getting it right. Why not improve the odds and hang out with winners? Ask yourself if you and your circle of friends and family truly make this world a better place for everyone? If you do but find yourself around others that do not, be mindful and wary. Do not let anyone dim your light, it is meant to be fueled and shining!
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