Does anyone call home makers domestic engineers anymore? Instead, they are just referred to as stay at home partners. I have to wonder why. It is as if the art of maintaining a household has become a lost art form and bears little value to the real world. Why is that, this lack of appreciation for stay at home spouses, when marriages are ending in divorce at a continued high rate and the pace of our society is accelerating at such a speed that time literally flies by?
What they are not doing is as important as what they are doing. To date, I have no friends or relatives that do not work outside of the home that watch soap operas regularly. In fact, the only ones I know that watch it tape it during the day, while working and sit on their couch watching them in the evening. They are not also spending a mint on fancy clothes or gasoline or four star lunches. Most unemployed spouses live a very frugal lifestyle infact and save their working partner tons of money by staying put!
Spouses that have small children and are homebound are doing the job child care providers do, that is, attending to the needs of their children. Between changing diapers, feedings and teaching life’s lessons (e.g. sharing toys, learning limits, etc) there is really no such thing as a fifteen or half hour break. This break only comes in the form of a quiet hour or two, naptime, when the spouse home runs around like a manic cleaning house as quickly and quietly as they can! They are masters at scheduling, listening to conversations simultaneously and often times, handling finances. They are counselors for their working spouse’s issues that are brought home daily. Their rate is free and they do not cut you off when your hour is up!
Engineers’ forte is planning and designing. They guide the course of what they are creating and are trouble shooters as well. Show me one stay at home spouse that does not do this as well. They plan the household events, design the schedule and make sure everyone is in sync. They look for issues and dispel them before they become an issue, e.g. having the laundry done before everyone in the household is out of socks, suits and worse yet, soap to bathe with before heading outdoors
Not to belabor the point but it does bear repeating, stay at home partners are domestic engineers. They do have value and they do enrich the lives of their family and friends. Their benefit may not correlate directly with a paycheck but more so with a reduction in household spending. They contribute in a different way. Some are at home not by choice, but more so due to a sluggish economy and job market. Others choose to put their career aspirations and love of being out with others on hold to focus solely on their children and marriage when they can afford to do so. Maybe we all need to sit back and recognize, though times have changed, the art of having someone in our world dedicated to our homes is a blessing indeed.
