A dear friend wished me Happy Father's Day today. I thought,
how odd, I am a woman and Mother’s Day is past. I sat on it awhile and then
followed up asking what is up with that comment. She clearly thought I understood. And once she explained I realized she was
right, Happy Father’s Day to me! All the single moms out there trying to fill
both roles know exactly what I am talking about.
Having children is difficult when you are trying to balance
their ever changing needs with your own.
There is a different set of rules completely when there is only one
parent in the house, there is no trade off, no off time, no hand off at the
door at 5:00. For some of us, there was
no shared bathtub duties, no taking turns working on homework, splitting days
off for sick days, doctor appointments or leaving early for sports games.
I don’t for a minute regret having full custody of my
children but it meant wearing both hats. When my son needed a dad, many times,
I was it. Being a woman, it was foreign to me many times how to handle certain
situations. At times, when my daughter and I were at odds, there was not a
vested father figure in love with us both in the house to help sort things
out. Thus, it was, at times, more
challenging.
The other side of the coin for myself, and many women like
me was the camaraderie that was developed in the relationship. There was not much my children and I did not
do together, including play together, laugh together, go out to eat, shop,
cook, you name it. We had times where we were like the 3 Musketeers. It was bound not to last but when it did hold,
it was good. It was very good.
So I wanted to end this day by saying I am glad that I had
the chance to try to be all things to both of my children. They may not always see my efforts as
successful but I did the best I could.
And I am certainly glad they have provided my grandchildren with
wonderful loving fathers that are indeed present for both of them.
The video is just a small salute of sorts to the men in my
immediate life as they are all fathers & grandpas that count. Click Here to view video
