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| Grandma & Grandpa Gliatti |
Attending a wedding for an Italian relative a few weeks back
it could not help but bring memories of my grandma, Grandma Gliatti. It sometimes feels like yesterday that I was
sitting in her kitchen at her rickety table telling her stories of what was
going on at school. She would lean in so interested in my life. I was always
amazed at how she would keenly actively listen to all of her grandchildren
share their stories when there were so darn many of us. I use to think she must really have a huge
heart. Now I know, looking back, she did.
Funny how you take those family get togethers back in the
day for granted, thinking that things will always be that way. Years go by and
the next thing you know, it is just like the movie, Four Weddings and a
Funeral, those being the only times you see each other. I wonder what my grandma must be thinking in
heaven to see her trend did not stick. Infact, it went away as soon as she
passed.
In her time on earth, it did not seem to matter than no one
had, on the surface all that much in common. All that mattered is that we were
related to her. That was enough, the
love of family too, it brought us all together countless times to just enjoy
each other’s company. Oh, even more importantly than that, to enjoy Grandma’s
unmistakable awesome cooking!
Walking in Grandma’s house in Toledo, Ohio one was almost
immediately hit with the aroma of homemade bread baking. It was almost like Pavlov’s classical
conditioning training, instantaneously mouth watering. No need for butter, jam or honey with her
bread, no sir, just tear off a hunk as
quick as you can or loss a chance completely
as it disappears faster than you can say “Can I have a piece
please?” And once you bit into that a
piece of that bread, you are met with
the best tasting bread in the world, it simply melts in the mouth. Years of perfecting the art of Italian bread
making, something Grandma doesn’t take lightly but mastered. Boy did we luck
out when they passed out Grandmas! Living during the depression and remaining
poor till the day she died, bread was not a choice to make, it was a necessity. Apparently flour was the main commodity they
had at home. Funny how perspectives are
so different, to her it was a hardship of sorts and to those of us that visited,
we saw it as a treat. Yep, it was a
downright blessing!
Funny, now that she is gone, and the bread is too, we see it
as something so special lost with Grandma Gliatti that is irreplaceable. Nobody
makes it like her. Gone is her ravioli
and her lasagna and the other dishes she threw together with no recipe anyone
could follow in her footsteps or match her flair for coming up with the world’s
greatest Italian food. Just a memory
that the palate will never forget. I
can’t help but wonder if God has her preparing His banqueting table. I would lay odds on it….
After the wedding ceremony, my cousin Joey and I were outside
the reception hall discussing days gone by.
Reminiscing, we reflected on the
countless family party gatherings with no particular theme, nothing to
celebrate at all but just about being together. That was just enough back in
the day. Just the sheer joy of being
with family.
In sharp contrast, half of our family’s offspring doesn’t
even know each other. I am not so sure
it is all that different in other people’s families either, sad to say. We live in different times. Sometimes these changes are not good;
extended families become a low priority.
With so much unhappiness, turmoil and distrust in the world, it seems
odd that families would not want to reunite and would become so disjointed. But again, it is not just happening in our
Italian family. I hope our kids can
change this trend. We need extended roots to stay grounded and connected.
As the wedding progressed that evening, I sat back and
admired the beauty of the celebration, watching the mother of the groom, my
cousin Julie. From across the banquet hall, I saw glimpses of her mom, my dear
Aunt Carmen in my Cousin Julie’s smile.
The beauty of my aunt was evident on my cousin’s face. That sincere smile of contentment was indeed
passed on, as well to her so Nick, the groom as he lovingly embraced his new
wife Beth. How wonderful it is to see
the circle of life, love and family play out right before your eyes. And yes, I
do think my grandma was there. I think
anytime a group of the Gliatti clan are gathered to celebrate or commemorate a
key moment in someone’s life her and Grandpa want to partake in the
celebration. I actually feel the
essence of the whole family there even if they aren’t in attendance. Perhaps
that is what makes me sad somewhat too because it never seems, anymore, that
everyone is present these days like they use to be. It makes me miss my Grandma even more. I didn’t realize when she left; she took the
connection we all had as a family with her.
As I left the reception that night, it dawned on me again
how grateful I was for those memories of my childhood in Toledo, Ohio at that
little house in Point Place with my Grandma Gliatti. All the trips there, to that little brick
house that was so full of laughter, times watching Grandma sit on the couch and
say the rosary while she watched Mass on TV and wait for her to cook up
something yummy and then dote on us.
Those weekends spent with cousins, aunts and uncles helped formulate my
idea of what openness and fun could be about and what kind of future I wanted
in my own life with a family of my own some day. It also opened my eyes to the importance
Grandma saw in family and that value I developed with my own children and have
tried to pass along to them as well. I
think she planted a seed in me and it took root. Those of us that looked up to
her, the grandkids that have memories of her, Joey and I both felt, have been
forever touched and changed by her. The memories and moments she gave us have
left an indelible imprint on our lives. Love and miss you always Grandma! Until we see you again…..
