I am not sure I understand,
I am not sure I even know why,
But I know that look in your eyes,
And I can see you trying not to cry.
I heard a car door slam,
I heard a tire screech as a car drove away,
I heard you yell please wait
And then I saw you begging him to stay.
But he looked at you out his car window
With an empty look in his eyes
And I could not help but wonder,
Was the relationship built on a lie.
Sometimes we want things so badly,
That we envision what is not really there,
We over look the problems,
Or assume they will disintegrate in thin air.
Was this what happened,
Were you led astray,
Or was he never really yours,
So reality was he never was going to stay.
Did you want love so badly that
You’d do almost anything to keep him near,
Is that why you always panicked when he got angry,
When he left upset, your face was full of fear.
Didn’t you realize,
The day you put your hands through the glass door,
And were bleeding on the floor,
That desperation was not going to win you his love,
Because he loved himself quite a bit more.
Does it really matter the answer,
Its passe, who cares, it’s no more,
Get off the curb you are standing on,
Some times in life, it is best to close the door.
His loss, one day, you will find, will be your gain,
You do not need all this emotional strain.
Head back to your home,
To the safe haven of the ones who love you for you,
Remember the next time you find yourself a lover,
That to yourself and to your heart, always be true.
Note: I remember, years ago, witnessing a teenage girl upset with her boyfriend doing the unthinkable, putting her hands thru a screen door in anger. As I reflected on this, as an adult, this poem came to mind.