My New Life in Florida Update

Hot in Florida means  hotter than hell! But living here is anything but hell! Infact, it is downright fun and at times, pretty darn funny!

We made our way to Withlacoochee State Park, named after Indians.  It is named after the river that flows through it.  It is beautiful and located in Dades City, not that far a drive from us. On the route there, we had to pass the largest dump I have ever seen in my life. This dump literally seemed to stretch for miles, like the size of a large amusement park, except there was nothing amusing about a place emitting the worst odor 

There was a farm across the street with cows loitering in the fields. I couldn’t help but notice none, not a one, was remotely close to the fence near the road.  I told my husband even the stinky cows could not stand the stench! Now that is when you know how bad the odor was. I literally drove holding my nose. And if you think that was easy, did I mention the roads were not paved? Nope, it was all dirt roads and they were not smooth so it seemed at times, like driving on ice. Luckily I was apparently the only one, the fool, out on that road!

We arrived at the park and the joy was going to be seeing the Indian village. We thought it would be a blast for the grandkids so we first drove around and scoped out the park

looking for Indian Village signs. None existed so we assumed, they must be on the trail hikes.  Okay, we can handle that.  Parking the car we went on the first one. Off we trotted with excitement and ready for a sense of wonder. We made it to the end of the trail no village.   Wouldn’t you know we would pick the wrong trail and walk the entire path? 

We had two choices, leave in defeat or stay victorious and walk the other longer nature trail. So, like the troupers we are we painted on our smiles.  We can do this, we told each other, and off we went, only not

as fast this time steps more labored and breathing.  Okay, we got to the end, no Indians, no village, and the walk back was long, quiet and blistering hot.  We pulled out saying who wants to see a damn Indian village anyways!

Two days later, we got wind of the first tropical storm coming to Tampa bay area.  How exciting to us, never to have come remotely close to one.  Everyone seemed concerned but we were kinda pumped, wow a real tropical storm. The only thing bothering us was the wussy name, Colin. For our first one why couldn’t it be fiercer a name like Charge, Crush, or Creature.  Wow, was it something to see! It didn’t come as hard as they said but every two hours or so, like clockwork, it rained for two days!  And then an hour of complete silence.  I couldn’t sleep, I had to sit up and listen and watch. We had a toast, our first big storm, toasting many more!

I think one of our neighbors isn’t all that crazy about our lab Charley. She rolls past in her wheelchair and our dog thinks it is a bike, and he does not like  bikes.  So he begins his fierce sounding bark.  She seems to think he wants to tear her apart like a pit-bull. Mind you, we have told her first, he is old and second, can’t even chew hard bones anymore. Lastly,  he only likes to eat males.    

Well, the other night, again, she rolls by as we are sitting out front on our driveway by our garage.  This time, she would not roll quietly by.  She likes to talk, and talk, and talk.  But she is a sweetheart. I wish Charley would give her a chance to speak and not drown her out with his incessant barking.  So, in no time, as she is talking he starts up.

 Now, one of the first things she says is to ask us if he ever shuts up. We explain that most of his day is spent in the walk in closet sleeping so we need to get him outside some. As Charley goes back and forth between lying down quietly during the conversation and picking back up where he left off with his barkfest she starts getting more annoyed. She then says the one thing that makes our neck hairs stand on edge.  She wants to know if we have a muzzle and if we would consider putting it on him.   Now Jim joined in with the barking, right in sync with Charley.

Charley has a rough time with his legs still. Since they are still causing him issues getting up, he is still receiving acupuncture to help. It must be pointed out, the only time he seems to not have any problem at all is at feeding time, walk time and when he is supposed to lay for acupuncture.  We spend the entire time talking to him, taking turns with who gets the joy of sitting in a tiny padded room trying to tell him he is sleepy, do not go to the dark side and please cooperate. 

This time the dreaded happened. There was a dog fight in the waiting room! Do you know what it is like to hold back a 105 lb dog and keep him lying still when two dogs are

growling and barking at each other and adults are yelling right outside the door he is in?  Well, I screamed louder than them, JIM HELP ME!  In came my husband, and he body slammed him to the floor, well not exactly but he did manage to get him down.  Charley was hooked to electrodes this time so needed to be still so as not to shake out the wires.  And there we sat, two grown adults on the floor holding him down, trying to not make eye contact because every time we did, we cracked up laughing.

When the vet came in, which seemed like eternity and back, she said “Oh Charley you were such a good boy this time.”  She says that every time and we both think we would pay double if she would sit in with him just one time to see what we go through.  As she was moving needles from his body, he got pretty frisky. Then she broke her past protocol and gave us her reality check, the words we wondered if we would ever hear from this new vet, the words we have heard so many times before,

“Charley you are a wild boy.  You are the wildest dog I have ever met. Even old, you act just like a puppy, I have never met a lab like you ever in my years of practicing.”

 Join Charley’s fan club, no fees needed.   

Charley is at home in Florida now.  

Mr. Personality

When we walk in the door we are always met with smiles. Everyone is laughing and a commotion ensues. Someone from the front desk usually comes from behind to greet us so friendly and gets an exuberant welcome back. Yes, Charley our lab is back for a stay at the Kennel, or, as my husband calls it ‘Doggie Camp’.

When it happened or how it happened, I still don’t understand. Even back in the days when I hated our dog Charley, this place fell in love with him. Yes, this is the same dog you have heard me talk about over the years who was kicked out of one dog training class, couldn’t attend several kennels for various reasons and learned all the training lessons except when it came time to take the test refused to do some of the tasks on command. I, incidentally, gave up taking him when the instructor reprimanded both Charley and me numerous times, telling us both excessive rear-end sniffing in dog classes is distracting, poor obedience on Charley’s part  and lack of good leadership on mine. So I threw the Cheerio treats to my husband and relinquished the leash to his other master after the 3^rd insult.  I think Charley wanted to retreat to the sidelines with me! 

After the first or second visit, it became a ritual that every time a call was placed to kennel our pet that was always beloved by my husband and early on, hated by me, the kennel was ecstatic Charley was coming back to stay at this, our favorite and only place we put in.  Apparently his trainers found his challenging ways fun. Why a large 125 lb. of energy, lack of coordination and slobber is hilarious, at that time, I didn’t quite get it. I wanted a small lab, perfectly obedient and docile in nature. What I got was a Marley reborn in our otherwise calm sedate house. 

As he grew, his reaction to “doggie camp’ became as notorious as theirs. However, he did lose his group play time. Apparently he liked the King of the Mountain mentality thus, began humping everything in sight. In this case, that meant every dog. In safety for the other dogs and partially him, solo play became mandatory and our fixed dog was resigned to play only with a trainer alone. To this day, I think he planned it this way. He had a human, which he has always felt he was half human anyways, to himself. Undivided play time and pet time to himself for 20 glorious minutes as many times a day as we were willing to pay.

Charley’s report cards have consistently come back with glowing comments. He usually eats well, has received A to A+ in personality and poops well. That later part is no surprise as poop duty is the dread duty at our house.  His trainers always seem to hate to see him go however we would happily leave him an extra day or two at no charge if they would like to just hang out with him for a bit longer.  Nah, we would miss the big guy. 

I always use to wonder why, when we picked him up, he seemed annoyed. Often times, he would run right past whichever one of us picked him up as if he didn’t know us or ignore us. We have figured it out, over time. He truly loves it there; it is nice break from us, just like a vacation is to us. Not that we don’t give him plenty of loving and attention but dogs too like distractions.  And he appears to be loved on there, played with, fed well, gets plenty of treats, and has his dog bed, the doggie channel and his own suite, a full size cell.

When I call to make a reservation, there are several different packages to choose from, depending on how many playtime the dog is to have, late night pee breaks, treats, etc.  For Charley, they always want me to get the max so that his trainer can get the added play time with him.  I try to avoid the added expense but when I get there, they always remind me how much he is loved on and loves to play. In fact, there are times I haven’t paid for it and have been told they took him out anyways. These people are nuts about this clumsy galoot of a dog!  

This last time, over Christmas, seemed to be the hardest time of all for us to leave our Charley. We were going to New York. Charley has been having a series of strokes, his last one being the largest. We know his time is starting to waver. We worry about how much time he has left. 

As we walked in, once again we were greeted by a trainer and this time, without even switching leads, they took him from my husband and pulled him behind the large reception counter. We had not gotten a chance to say good-bye. As we stood there, after signing him in, we saw our dog, happy as can be, with everyone behind the counter fawning all over him and him lapping it up. As we looked at each other, we realized we were best to walk out and leave our dog in the loving care of a kennel that truly cares for him and feel blessed he would be there when we returned. And he was as the picture below shows, with once, again, glowing remarks and ticked off that we picked him up!   

Click Here for a short video on Charley Images

Doggie for Sale?

The best challenge in the world to all those dog lovers out there is the ability to control our dog, to Charley.

Charley is a 115 pound Labrador retriever, full of energy, that makes life, shall we say, stimulating? His energy has never faded. When most dogs hit a certain age, they slow down. Charley is almost five and we are still waiting for this metamorphosis to occur. Our vet says to not hold our breath.

When dogs are’ fixed’ it should help alleviate humping behavior. Charley had begun this nasty habit about 4 months old. We noticed him humping our couch upstairs. Our veterinarian suggested get him fixed to help. The only thing that changed, after his castration, is the couch is not good enough any more for Charley. He insists now on real action, humping other dogs. He has no biases either towards other canines, he likes humping them regardless of size, color, shape or sex. My husband begs to differ with me telling others “Charley only humps attractive dogs.” Judging by some of the dogs he has tried to hump, I beg to differ. Charley has no sense of taste whatsoever.

We brought Charley home when he was 6 weeks old in May from the breeder. Immediately we began putting him into our swimming pool. He wore a doggie lifejacket. I never knew such a thing existed before we were advised to put him in one. He looked ridiculous with it on and he hated it. I am certain, in doggie language; other dogs in our neighborhood ridiculed him for this. When folks came over to see our small puppy swim, they laughed at the site of him in this hideous thing that took as much time for us to put on him as he spent swimming.

Labs are, by nature, water dogs. His love of water extends beyond our pool, including anything with H2O. This includes our sprinkler which Charley has been known to sit literally on top of when it is on. The intent is to water our lawn but he thinks it is a play toy for him and proudly stands over it, in the process, blocking all water to the lawn.

A trainer once suggested we have a water spray bottle for visitors due to Charley’s exuberance. We were instructed to give this to visitors to our home to reprimand him for bad behavior. The thought is that by spraying the dog, he will not bother others. However, Charley simply loves it, this form of punishment. We begun to see he sees this as positive reinforcement for bad behavior as with each squirt of water aimed at him, he expertly catches the water in his mouth.

Our dog, apparently does not like the thought of captivity either. Jim, my husband, reminds him regularly that he will not find a better home than ours. Though he knows no one will take him, he still insists on trying to run away. Charley jumps both fences in the yard, the electric fence and the steel fence. He is like a fugitive running for his life when he gets free. This is something he does every chance he gets. These days, it does not happen as now he is not allowed outside without being on a leash. I am certain we look ridiculous to our neighbors walking a do with a leash in a fenced in yard. I think we hate it having to do this as much as he does!

Charley has selective hearing also. He can be in the other end of the house on a completely different floor and hear things we do not want him to hear. If the drawer that houses cheese in the refrigerator is even touched slightly, Charley can wake out of a dead sleep and come running. But, when Charley gets free in the neighborhood, he is oblivious to our cries of ‘Come home!” He dashes this way and that, not missing a smell anywhere and totally ignoring us, no matter how sweet we plead or how angry we yell. To a stranger, it looks like we are chasing a dog that does not belong to us. As we are in mad pursuit, using every trick in the book, offering cheese for his bad behavior, it normally takes some time to slow him down so we take turns following him until he gets tired and let’s one of us get close enough to loop a leash over his head.

Our neighbors have gotten accustomed to this us chasing him. Every time it happens, there never is one single sole outside. If they were, he would come up to them and they could grab him. But no one is ever there anymore. I think the neighbors find it more fun to watch us being led by our dog than helping. It is somewhat comical to bystanders to hear us asking our dog running free if he would like to take a walk to entice him to come back. We do these because he loves walking and when he is free, he is usually running! We keep hoping he will be dumb enough to fall for this line. We need some new material though because it is not working!

Charley feels no other dog or child is as worthy of our love as he. Anytime anyone comes over and gets too much of our attention, he is literally pushing his way to the front of the pack and insisting that he be pet. Other dogs are literally bull dozed down by Charley. I think he realizes if we get too close to another dog, we might try to switch and take another dog in his place. How ironic though, that when a two year old grand daughter looks at him and tells him sternly to go away and he does just that.

One summer a sales man was calling on each house on our street. He was a financial planner looking for prospects. Hearing our dog barking in the doorway would have made most strangers walk the other way. But not this man, Bill, he rang the doorbell anyway while staring at Charley’s big snout up on the storm door. Jim went out through the garage door to greet the man knowing if he dare open the front door, we would spend the next hour following Charley in the neighborhood.

Jim quickly noticed the stranger, Bill we later learned, was dressed professional, in a nice black suit. Bill was insistent about coming in our home, right then and there and meeting Jim’s wife and man’s best friend, our dog. As Bill professed to have a love of dogs, my husband told him that Charley would quickly make him rethink this passion. He forewarned Bill in no uncertain terms that Charley was a handful and hard to control with visitors but Bill was insistent he wanted to come in.

Within a mere two minutes of walking in the door, Charley was greeting Bill and letting him ‘feel the love.’ The love expression Charley chose was to jump up on the front of Bill was his dog hair flying everywhere from excitement, his mouth salivating and planting a huge kiss on Bill’s mouth. Bill was a thin man and nearly toppled over from the sheer force and weight of Charley thrusting himself on him at a breaking speed. By the time we pulled Charley off, which was seconds but felt more like hours, Bill’s suit looked nothing like it had minutes ago. In its place was now a tousled suit, wet with doggie slobber and raked with dog hair! Bill took it in stride but he never returned to our house again without a large dog bone in hand to give Charley the minute he stepped in our house.

I firmly believe Charley has a zest for life that many in this world are lacking. He greets everyone with the same vigor. His excitement is contagious, but just not controllable.

We love dogs but Charley is positively the worst behaved dog either of us has ever known. He was named after Jim’s dad who was polite, well mannered and calm. None of these adjectives describe his name sake, Charley the dog.

Our relationship with our dog is a love hate relationship. We can’t live with him or without him. He is fodder for so much conversation among all of our friends and family! We have even offered to let others keep him but have no lucky takers. When we were putting up our Christmas tree one year, he somehow slipped outdoors without us knowing. I heard a knock on the door. When I opened the door, much to my surprise, there sat Charley who had nudged the door with his large snout. He wanted back in. I opened the door but could not help saying, in all seriousness , “What’s wrong Charley, would nobody take you in?”

Signs you have a bad dog:
-Nobody will dog sit your dog when you travel

-In training, you consistently get in trouble and so does your dog for misbehaving

-Your dog sleeps on the bed with you and is a bed hog with no respect for your space

-You cannot open your front door easily without starting a barking fest and commotion

-Your neighbors know your dog only too well

-You cannot leave your house without dog hair on your clothes from head to foot

-At dinnertime, you frequently have a visitor laying his snout on the table as if it belongs

-Food that is left out disappears without a trace

-Your visitors get slobbered on and attempts are made to French kiss them by your pet

-Swimmer in your pool have to learn to dunk your dog to be left alone

-Your dog is picky with his treats preferring people food

-You get barked out when eating snacks and not sharing them with your dog

-Your dog has been known to try to steal toys from babies

-Everybody can bring their beloved dog to visit others but you!

*Please email me any other signs of a misbehaving dog that are missing on this list. I am sure Charley is not the only bad dog in this world!