A dear friend wished me Happy Father's Day today. I thought, how odd, I am a woman and Mother’s Day is past. I sat on it awhile and then followed up asking what is up with that comment. She clearly thought I understood. And once she explained I realized she was right, Happy Father’s Day to me! All the single moms out there trying to fill both roles know exactly what I am talking about.
Having children is difficult when you are trying to balance their ever changing needs with your own. There is a different set of rules completely when there is only one parent in the house, there is no trade off, no off time, no hand off at the door at 5:00. For some of us, there was no shared bathtub duties, no taking turns working on homework, splitting days off for sick days, doctor appointments or leaving early for sports games.
I don’t for a minute regret having full custody of my children but it meant wearing both hats. When my son needed a dad, many times, I was it. Being a woman, it was foreign to me many times how to handle certain situations. At times, when my daughter and I were at odds, there was not a vested father figure in love with us both in the house to help sort things out. Thus, it was, at times, more challenging.
The other side of the coin for myself, and many women like me was the camaraderie that was developed in the relationship. There was not much my children and I did not do together, including play together, laugh together, go out to eat, shop, cook, you name it. We had times where we were like the 3 Musketeers. It was bound not to last but when it did hold, it was good. It was very good.
So I wanted to end this day by saying I am glad that I had the chance to try to be all things to both of my children. They may not always see my efforts as successful but I did the best I could. And I am certainly glad they have provided my grandchildren with wonderful loving fathers that are indeed present for both of them.
The video is just a small salute of sorts to the men in my immediate life as they are all fathers & grandpas that count. Click Here to view video